Monday, April 18, 2005

I'd like to be Ruth, but I can be flexible.
I suppose I'm feeling a bit better right now, but not that much. The mood around here is so weird right now. Not with the family, because they're as loud as ever; I mean, outside, it's just silent. Not the regular silence that just comes and goes, but it's this weird silence that just feels really freaky and unnatural. It's very unsettling, really. I usually enjoy silence, but this is just weird. Of course, the silence was just broken by this cat screeching like it just got its leg broken or something. I like cats a lot, but damned if they don't sound horrible when they yell. Good lord.

Anyway, it's Sunday, and that means good ol' Shinmaru is here with good ol' Shinmaru vs. The World. Yippee!

First article can be read here.

No more cow for lobsters

Vegetarianism is now mainstream.

Some lobsters have developed hairballs after eating chunks of cowhide in traps used by fishermen.

...now I've heard everything.

It's an unsavory discovery that has prompted legislators to promote new regulations on alternative bait. Legislation approved Monday by the Marine Resources Committee also would allow the state to investigate reports of slaughterhouse waste being sold as bait.

I'd hope that nobody would be using anything labelled 'waste' as bait.

Sen. Dennis Damon (D, Hancock), co-chairman of the committee, proposed the alternative bait legislation, which must be approved by the full Legislature.

Obviously they have nothing better to work on.

“This is a sensitive topic because of the potential effect it might have on the market,” Damon said. He estimated that catching and selling lobsters in Maine is a $750 million business.

"Of which I have a large investment in!"

Under Damon’s proposal, it would be unlawful to use wild or domestic animal renderings or offal as bait to fish for lobsters or crabs, unless the bait were animal hide with its hair removed.

"And who's going to take the time to remove the hair? Nobody!"

David Etnier, deputy commissioner of the Department of Marine Resources, said reports of hair in lobster meat surfaced about a year and a half ago and raised concerns, particularly in the Japanese market. He said his department’s own survey showed that less than 5 percent of the traps in Maine waters, and probably closer to 3 percent, were using cowhide at any given time during the year.

I'd wager that the Japanese have weirder stuff than hair in their food.

While the animal hide did not appear to pose a health threat, Etnier said his department was concerned about the slaughterhouse waste because of reports that fishermen had gotten blood poisoning after handling the bait.

They didn't use protection. Sad.

The outright prohibition on hairy hides and offal would go into effect Jan. 1, 2006, unless the bill is passed as an emergency measure with the required two-thirds vote. Then the DMR could use rulemaking before that date to ban bait it deemed a threat to public health. Such rulemaking would prompt a public hearing well before the ban went into effect –- a move pushed by committee member Rep. Jeff Kaelin (R, Winterport). Kaelin told Damon he agreed with the intent of his proposal, but wanted to give fishermen and others a chance to weigh in.

Yeah, they've got to at least make it look like public opinion matters.

“I want to go to the same place,” Kaelin said. “I had hoped we could have a more deliberative public process.”

"But nooooooo, I guess we won't! Jackass."

The problem with alternative bait was discussed at a public hearing last week, attended by lobstermen from up and down the coast.

Never before has there been such a large congregation of old guys who smell like fish.

Most spoke in favor of regulating the bait, but not banning cowhide outright because it is cheaper than herring or other fish used as bait and lasts longer in the traps –- an important consideration in the colder months when fishermen can’t get out to bait their traps as often.

"Suggestion denied on the grounds that nobody cares."

Getting rid of the hair, however, seemed a good idea to most.

Because then they could use it.

“If you’re opening up the lobster and you get this hairball, that would not go over well, said Bill Anderson of Trescott.

What geniuses they have in Trescott!

Phil Dziezyk of Swans Island questioned what chemicals were used to remove the hair and whether they would harm the species. “Two to three years down the road, are the females going to stop dropping their eggs?” he asked.

"Because I like my caviar."

The slaughterhouse waste raised concerns not only about the lobster, but the fishermen using the bait.

"They aren't going to cough up hairballs, too, are they?"

“It’s some pretty bad stuff,” said John Carter of Hulls Cove, representing Zone B in the Bar Harbor and Ellsworth area. He described it as having hides from moose, deer and cows, feces, blood and hair in it. He also said there have been reports of fishermen getting blood poisoning as a result of sticking their hands in the bait bucket –- reports the DMR also have heard.

And yet they're more concerned about the hair than the feces.

Clive Farrin of Boothbay Harbor, representing the Zone E Council, said he heard the bait described as “whatever comes off the slaughterhouse floor.”

"Which is still an improvement, actually, because it's at least coming from the floor now."

He said it was going for $20 a pail as compared to $100 to $120 a pail for good artificial bait. “People used to pay to get it hauled away,” he said. Now it’s being sold to fishermen.

Where can I get a cut?

Asked by one committee member why some would buy it, he said: “It’s cheap. Believe it or not there are guys in this business who are looking for a bargain.”

NO!

Damon said the issue of regulating alternative bait is overdue. He said that for over two years there have been concerns coming to him from the industry about alternative bait The cowhide is being used because it is durable and the lobsters were attracted to it. "But is it detrimental to the stock?”he asked.

The lobsters are attracted to cowhide? O_o

I don't even want to know how that works.

For an industry that’s worth $750 million to Maine, Damon said, bait is being used that has not been tested and is not being monitored.

No shit, Sherlock. That's what's been said the entire article.

---

Next article can be read here.

Durst Unveils 'The Truth' And It's Rage Against The Bizkit

Oh good god, no.

Fred Durst seems to be all about the truth these days.

If he wants truth, he should realize that he's a no-talent dumbass who should've gotten the fuck out of the music industry five years ago.

In postings on Limp Bizkit's Web site (which lately is little more than a blog housing the red-cap-loving frontman's rantings), Durst has revealed details here and there about his band's forthcoming opus, The Unquestionable Truth (Part 1). In one recent musing, he writes: "I love the truth. That's what it's all about. No bells and whistles. No sugarcoating the truth. For some, it could be a bit too much to comprehend. F--- 'em."

The irony is just really thick here. Does he even know what he's saying anymore?

In addition to being truthful, the band's new album is also "very heavy," he told MTV News recently, noting an obvious correlation between the sound of the new disc and the return of original guitarist Wes Borland.

Hey, the only part of Limp Bizkit who could be talented has returned, and Fred Durst is here running his mouth. What a surprise, eh?

"The record is not diverse. Not one ounce," he said of the May 3 release. "It is a brutal, brutal reality check for ourselves. We needed to get it out of us, and me and Wes realized that I'm the best producer for him, he's the best guitar player for me. It's just that way. This is the best work he's ever done. It's Wes' record to shine. It's all guitars, it's all brutal. It's not what fair-weather Limp Bizkit fans are ever going to have wanted, and I love that."

They still have fans? Could have fooled me. I think that fair-weather fans would want him to shut his big mouth, but maybe that's just me.

Bizkit fans can get a preview of the new material via a video posted on the band's site for the song "The Truth." In the six-and-a-half-minute clip, shot in the Bizkit's studio and said to document the "first time Limp Bizkit has performed together since Wes left," a shirtless Borland — two pieces of black tape forming an "X" over his right nipple — bops around a shady studio in front of John Otto's drum set (although, the video's so dark, Dave Grohl could be behind the kit, and we'd never know) along with bassist Sam Rivers and Durst, who sports an Army jacket, aviator goggles and bright red kicks.

I'd hope that Dave Grohl would be wise enough to just stay the hell away. There are just some things that great drumming can't save.

The song itself is vintage Borland Bizkit — menacing guitar riffs, throbbing bass lines and hardcore drums. Missing, however, are the shrill vocal stylings of Mr. Durst. Instead, Fred does his best Zack de la Rocha impression, singing, "You can't sleep/ You're restless/ And slightly obsessed with falling too deep/ You're malfunction, you're a virus/ Whose intention is f----ing up something/ You're a crater on the face of a problem that's greater."

So, what, did he add an extra letter to 'fucking' or something? DURST IS A GENIUS LOLZ!!111!111

Before launching into the verse "Our Father, who art in heaven/ Hallowed be thy name/ Deliver me from evil," he recites the song's refrain, "Imagine accepting the truth."

Yeah, just imagine it, Freddy.

Durst told MTV News that Rage Against the Machine were a source of inspiration for the record. "Emotionally, I was affected a lot by [Rage]," he said. "Not specifically the literal intention of the words or what it was about, but the feel, the sound, those phrases that got me. I believe this [album] is exactly where they left off."

Yeah, they probably broke up just before they started to suck, I agree.

---

Last article can be read here.

Women sue hospital, claiming therapist practiced witchcraft on them

But did it help at all?

An Illinois psychologist acted more like the Wicked Witch of the West than Sigmund Freud, according to three former patients who are suing the hospital, saying they received treatment that included witchcraft, sexual advances, and threats of violence.

Sounds like Freud to me.

The three women say psychologist Letitia Libman, on behalf of Delnor-Community Hospital in St. Charles, Ill., first administered normal therapy, but later made unwanted sexual advances, shared private client information, and advised them to practice witchcraft to get over their problems.

It couldn't hurt.

"The big question here is: Where was the hospital for two and a half years?" said attorney Richard Stavins, who is representing all three women. "If you want to play Halloween for 365 days a year, that is your prerogative, but not as a doctor."

Obviously these people don't know that witchcraft is the next big thing in psychology...maybe if they had an open mind, they'd know.

The latest suit was filed on April 9 by Kathleen Carlson, who began seeing Libman for emotional distress while she was divorcing her husband in September 2002. At first, she did not notice any unusual behavior from the therapist.

"I thought all therapists wore big pointy black hats."

"The patterns of each of the three victims has been the same. It starts out with very proper psycho-therapeutic care to win the confidence of the patient," Stavins said. "She then starts slowly suckering them into this absolutely bizarre witchcraft therapy."

But does anyone ever try it? No!

The suit claims that eventually Libman started touching Carlson's head, chest and stomach, and ordered her to retrieve pieces of her husband's DNA so she could perform a spell on it.

See, it's just like modern voodoo.

Carlson claims Libman's behavior worsened after her divorce was finalized. She claims the therapist urged her to begin practicing witchcraft herself. She also instructed her to always wear a pentagram necklace because it represented a witch's power, according to the suit.

"Plus, it makes you look cool and people will think you're Wiccan and stuff. Then you can go on message boards and act like you know stuff about that!"

She later dished out sexual advice and revealed her own sexuality and that of other clients.

For no extra charge, even.

"Teach me how to give better blow jobs to men," Libman told Carlson, according to Stavins.

Couldn't hurt...except for the guy, I guess.

Carlson says Libman became an extra source of mental anguish and even caused her physical pain. She is seeking $50,000 in damages.

Just more discrimination against witches. Sad.

Delnor-Community Hospital fired Libman in January and has referred her case to Illinois Department of Professional Regulation and local police. A search of the regulatory agency's database shows that no prior disciplinary action has been taken against Libman.

Because she never had any problems until the witch-hater showed up.

"While employee and patient confidentiality laws and pending litigation prevent us from discussing details of the case any further, we can say that Delnor takes patient complaints of this nature very seriously," according to the hospital's statement, "and it is our policy to immediately investigate such complaints and take disciplinary action when warranted."

Witch-haters!!

Although Libman is accused of different crimes against each woman, her pattern of harassment is consistent in all three cases, Stavins said.

Well, newt eyes are hard to come by. Some harassment is to be expected.

"They are afraid of her. She has a gun," Stavins said. "She has told each one of them, 'If you rat on me I will make life miserable for you. And no one will believe you because I am a doctor.'"

But was it a physical gun or a psychological gun? You decide.

The women were so afraid of Libman that two of them moved away from the area after terminating their therapy, he said.

The other became a newt. She eventually got better, though.

Shelley Standau, whose suit was filed in U.S. District Court in Chicago, moved to North Carolina because she feared for her life, the lawyer said. Standau is seeking $1 million.

I hear that witches really like North Carolina, though.

Deanna Whetstine started therapy in July 2002 for reflex sympathetic dystrophy, a disease of the nervous system characterized by severe, chronic pain.

...well, I'm not quite mean enough to make fun of that.

In addition to the typical mention and use of witchcraft, Libman convinced her to move in with her, stripped naked during their sessions, and convinced Whetstine to divorce her husband, according to the suit.

*insert The Eagles' "Witchy Woman" here*

Libman even convinced her that witchcraft, not neurology, would better treat her chronic illness, Whetstine claims. She also drove her to suicidal thoughts and increased her mental and psychical pain, according to the suit.

Witchcraft is a no-go, then.

The lawsuits do not seek to disqualify Libman from practicing psychology. The women's lawyer hopes the suit is enough to get the attention of the hospital and have her dismissed.

At least they're not breaking her wand. That would be a tragedy!

"Whether [licensers] are going to proceed against her is their decision," Stavins said. "Obviously, she shouldn't be practicing clinical psychology."

"But we'll gladly keep her on as a resident witch."
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Sunday, April 17, 2005

This is an egregious miscarriagement of taxitude.
Well, I'm in one of those moods again today. Nothing in particular has happened to me lately; it's just one of those things that comes and goes for no real reason at all. At least, there's no real reason for it that I can conjure up. I guess that the only solace that I can get from it is that I tend to think sharper and clearer when I'm like this, and it makes writing and thinking up ideas a lot easier. But I don't like it that much, because it's so damn cliche. Semi-depression = good writing. How very wonderful.

I wasn't sure if I was going to do Shinmaru vs. The World tonight, but I think that I will. I imagine I'll feel better by the time I sit down and actually start gathering up stories. I hope I feel better, anyway. There's nothing worse than filling something that's supposed to be funny with stuff that's just depressing. That wouldn't be any fun at all.

There's at least some good news in that my never-ending journey to see great movies is continuing. Just like anyone else, there are tons of great movies I've never seen. It doesn't really matter if they're older movies, or more recent films, because there are about an equal number that I'd like to see. I always take so long to catch up on more modern films, since I don't go to the theater very often. I don't go to rental places very much, either, so I usually end up waiting until a movie pops up on a movie channel.

A couple of days ago I watched Lost in Translation. I'd watched it once before, but I kept getting distracted while the movie was on and it took away from the experience. However, I checked out the DVD from my school library, so I was able to watch it whenever I chose to. And now that I've seen Lost in Translation without distraction, I have to say that I really like the movie a lot.

What I really like about the movie is how low-key and subtle it is. For example, most of the music played during the movie isn't loud, fast-paced and whatnot ; in other words, the music isn't used as much to establish the mood, and if it is, it's a more 'grounded' mood (except for during the karaoke scene, I guess lol). I also like the humor in the movie. Despite Bill Murray being in it, this isn't a crazy, laugh-out-loud movie like, say, Caddyshack. Again, a lot of the humor is pretty low-key, and most relates to the struggles of the main characters in getting used to the Japanese culture (the movie takes place entirely in Tokyo, by the way). I think the movie is very funny.

Lost in Translation is very character-driven. Bill Murray is a washed-up movie star who's smack in the middle of the drudgery of a twenty-five year long marriage, and Scarlett Johansson is a confused newlywed with a workaholic husband. Neither of them can sleep very well at night, and they just happen to meet in a bar one night. Bob and Charlotte (Murray and Johansson, respectively) strike up a friendship, keep meeting up with each other, and that's what the basis for the movie is. No huge, sweeping, epic story, just a couple of people in a place that's very strange to them just trying to find their way.

The movie is just so well done in every way. The acting, the writing, the cinematography, and whatever else you'd care to mention. If you haven't seen the movie, do like I did, and see it. If you've already seen it, well, watch it again. I'll probably be doing so after I finish this post :D

Also, last night I saw Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, which was just amazing in so many ways. It's another movie that's 'light' (for lack of a better term) on story, but the characters are so great that you don't really care about that at all. The movie is basically about a guy, Joel, who meets up with a girl, Clementine, and they end up getting together and having fun. Eventually, as a lot of relationships do, things turn a bit sour, and one day Joel finds that Clementine doesn't remember him at all and she's with another guy.

After that, Joel finds out about a doctor who can make bad memories disappear from people's minds. Joel, who by this point wants to forget all about Clementine, goes in to get the procedure done. However, in the middle of the procedure, he realizes that he doesn't want to forget about Clementine, despite the bad memories, and he frantically struggles against the procedure. That's the basic outline of the story, but there's just so much more to the movie than that. It's so wild and out there, yet the movie just makes sense. I don't know if I could describe it better than that.

I think that what is most remarkable about films like Lost in Translation and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is that, in my opinion, they really nail romance pretty well. In most movies, when I see a romantic relationship I can't help but think "Please. Now why in the hell would they be in love? That's so corny." But these two movies just capture everything so remarkably: the confusion, the doubt, the warmth, the sadness, the good things, the bad things, the regret, everything. It's just something that's so tough to capture, because you can't know it unless you've felt it - but these two movies make you feel it as much as any movies I've personally seen.

And the best part is that Eternal Sunshine is on again today. Yay! I'll be watching it again for sure. Maybe it'll help shake me out of this funk.
Comments (10) | Permalink

Thursday, April 14, 2005

River Euphrates
I'm sure by now you've all realized that I changed my avatar. Natalie Portman rules, but Rex Banner is on another level of awesome. I love the many one-shot characters in The Simpsons, and Rex Banner is one of my favorites. I love all of the Prohibition-era slang that he uses lol. His interrogation of Barney where he busts through the window is so funny. I've kindly transcribed his mini-speech in the area below my avatar, but it's way funnier to actually hear him say it. Rex Banner rules.

Anyway, I didn't do very much today. School was school. The only thing that was different from usual is that I actually bothered to show off some knowledge in my Fiction class today. I have to present my critique on John Steinbeck's "The Chrysanthemums" on Friday, and we went over the story a bit today. Usually I don't answer questions unless prompted, but I guess that I felt that I had to speak up today, I don't know. It's a one time only thing, though!

Other than that, I went to some initiation ceremony for the Honors Society. It wasn't a real college fraternity sort of initiation, though, it was actually supposed to be a classy ceremony. So, that means I made it out of there sober and with nothing shoved up my ass! Basically I got a bunch of stuff because I'm cool. I got a nice pin, some other sort of trinket, cords to wear at graduation, and a certificate.

Unfortunately, my curse when it comes to certificates and the like seems to be ongoing. Once again my name was spelled wrong on a certificate. I think that I've now given up any hope that anyone will spell my name correctly when it actually matters. If they're not calling me 'Micheal', they're calling me 'Michael Zabala'. The worst part is that my name was spelled correctly everywhere else. I have two receipts from the Honors Society with my name spelled right, my name was right in the program, it's correct on the website, etc. It's just on the certificate that it's spelled wrong.

I'm cursed with what is probably the lamest curse in the history of the world. I couldn't even get one of those cool curses where you morph into a hideous creature at certain times of the year. Nope, people just spell my name wrong! It's a laugh and a half, let me tell you. Oh well, it's so routine now that I just laugh it off and sink into apathy. Not caring is fun.

The second worst thing about this whole thing is that I had to dress up for it. I don't really care for dressing up, because it's a huge hassle, and I look like a dork when I'm all dressed up, anyway. Plus, I'm really obsessive-compulsive in that I get extremely annoyed by little things that wouldn't bother anyone else on the planet, so I'm walking around silently cursing the tie that's choking me, the shirt cuffs that are itching my hands, and the dress shoes jutting into my foot because they suck. Man, I can't imagine what I'd be like if I were a girl and wearing high heels. I'd probably be the most hateful, vindictive person in history.

I'd like to meet whoever coined the phrase "It's better to look good than to feel good" and tell him to go fuck himself. What a jackass. Looking good must be fun after you get used to the bajillion things that you need to do to put on nice looking clothes. They all have like a million different buttons, zippers, and clasps on them. It makes everything needlessly complex. I guess that I just like being lazy, but I prefer to deal with clothes that don't make it seem like I need to memorize an abstract code to put them on and to remove them.

All in all, though, I suppose that the cerimony was okay. It's nice to recognize all of the members, there was free food there, etc. See, free food is all you need for me to endorse you. I can hate everything else about a place, but if they have free food they're okay with me. Even if the food sucks it's still free, right? Anything that is free can't be that bad. I think that's just the cheap ass in me talking, though. Free stuff is very nice.

That's about it from me. Before I leave, I'll point out one thing: I think that my guestbook attracts really bizarre people. The last few entries have been sort of out there. It's a nice source of humor, at the very least. I think I have a newfound love for responding to guestbook entires and odd PMs, too. I never understand why people hate them so much, unless they get a significantly higher amount of them than I do. I think that they're funny; I wish I had more weirdoes signing my guestbook and PMing me.
Comments (12) | Permalink

Monday, April 11, 2005

Behind the Laughter
Today I played Literati for the first time in forever, first with Mimmi and then with both Mimmi and Annie. It was pretty fun. I was incredibly rusty when I first started up, but I got back into the swing of things within a few turns. Before I knew it, I was getting big points left and right before Mimmi crushed all my hopes of victory within the last few turns - just like usual!

Anyway, it's Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, and of course you all know what that means - it's time for Shinmaru vs. The World! We're all going to have a good time, right?

First article can be read here.

A seven-year-old dog has been banned from driving after accidentally crashing his master's car.

Good thing, too. That dog is forty-nine years old in dog years now. He's really getting up there in age!

Farmer Arnold Luscombe from South Milton, Cornwall, was driving in Kingsbridge when he was stopped by a flock of sheep.

Now what were a bunch of high schoolers doing way down there?

He left Shep the collie in the car with the engine running and thinks he climbed into the driver's seat and knocked the car into gear with his paw.

But what he doesn't know is that this was all a calculated assassination plot perpetrated by Shep. He would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling sheep!

The vehicle careered down a 40ft (12m) bank, coming to rest in a stream.

Shep just wanted some water.

Mr Luscombe told BBC News he turned round when he heard a noise, only to see the Saab disappearing over the bank at Kingsbridge in Devon, followed by a loud crash.

"My first thought was 'Damn dog doesn't even have his license yet; what the hell is he doing driving my car??'"

The farmer says he was relieved Shep appeared to be none the worse for his adventure.

"If he had died, I wouldn't have been able to kick his ass later on for stealin' my car!"

"My first concern was for the dog, but when I got down to the stream, Shep was sitting behind the wheel quite unconcerned," said Mr Luscombe.

"...the cocky little shithead."

The key was still in the ignition and the doors had locked automatically, so Shep had to be taken out through the tailgate.

"Damn dog tried to lock me out of my own car!"

Mr Luscombe says Shep is now banned from the driving seat, and he will no longer leave the keys in the engine.

"I don't know if I'll still leave the keys in the engine, but I probably won't. Shep definitely won't be doing that, though."

The car was winched back to dry land and has only a broken light and a few dents and scratches.

To go along with all of the other dents and scratches.

---

Next article can be read here.

Outlaw blows himself up

Now why did he go and do that?

Albania's most wanted man fought off special police and eluded capture for years only to blow himself up while fishing with dynamite, police and newspapers say.

He always did say that fish were most attracted to deadly explosives...

Dubbed the "Last Cowboy" in northern Albania because of his gunfights with the law, Riza Malaj, 34, failed to accurately gauge the length of the fuse as he tried to blow up trout.

It's official, trout are now more effective at catching criminals than the entire Albanian police force. Something for fish to be proud of, I guess.

Doctors at the Bajram Curri hospital said he had lost both hands, badly hurt his eyes and suffered serious wounds all over his body. His family rejected offers to have him flown to a Tirana hospital where he would have been arrested immediately.

Because it's a noted trout hangout, I'm sure...

Malaj was taken to a hospital in nearby U.N.-governed Kosovo.

Yeah, the U.N. will take real good care of him.

He was sentenced in absentia to five years in jail on charges of leading an attack on the Bajram Curri police station last year. Since 2000, warrants have been issued for Malaj's arrest on charges of wilful murder, armed robbery, armed assault and battery of the education directress of the town.

And yet there is no justice for the innocent trout that he tried to slaughter? For shame.

---

Next article can be read here.

Baby Given Vodka In His Bottle?

I guess it's never too late to turn your child into a raving drunk.

Here's the story as it was told to Eyewitness News by family members: They say for some reason, a two year-old was put in charge of fixing a bottle for his or her nine month-old little brother. But instead of just pouring milk in, the two year-old added straight vodka!!

!!!

Wow, the press shows emotion in a story. A rare occurance.

On Thursday night, instead of being home in his crib, the baby is was at LeBonheur hospital fighting to survive.

Now I just wish that this person would show proof of their education.

“There is some concern that there was some alcohol involved.”

Ah, yes, the famous 'huge understatement' quote present in many news stories.

DCS officials couldn't reveal how much alcohol was actually in the baby's system. But to give you an idea of how little it would take to have an impact, check this out: A 200-pound person would be drunk after about six ounces of straight vodka. For a nine month-old baby, it would only take about a half an ounce to be over the legal limit. And just two and a half ounces would be enough to put the baby in a coma or even kill him!!

Shocking, if you live under a rock.

The family members who first told Eyewitness News about the vodka in the bottle didn't want to go on camera. But they say the baby's mother is often drunk and leaves her 6 kids, including the nine month-old, with other people. Also according to them, the mother was on a date Saturday night and left the kids with relatives.

Ironically enough, she was sober the entire night...until she beat up her date, stole his wallet, and went on a binge drinking session.

“He was taken to the hospital on Saturday after he was at a relative's home where he was being babysat, there was some concerns about his safety and well being there.”

Was the person who said that sentence drunk, too?

And state officials do say there may be more to this than just one incident with the vodka in the bottle, which is why they've taken serious action.

"We've put the baby into AA meetings."

“All of the children in the family have been placed with a relative at this point in time and of course our investigation is ongoing and continues.”

Sir, your redundancy is showing.

Now they just have to sit and hope that they weren't too late, that the little boy will make it out of the hospital alive and well.

With the power of AA behind him he'll definitely be fine.

DCS officials wouldn't tell us the names of the mother or the baby involved here. Family members did give Eyewitness News those names, but we've decided not run them until the investigation is complete. The DCS investigation could take up to 60 days. Officials there say they are working with Memphis Police on this case.

"And once they decide to finally stop investigating Elvis sightings, we might make some progress in this case."

---

Last story can be read here.

Kansas 9-year-old tries to swap gun for Xbox

Boy, that would have been a terrible deal. Is there even electricity in Kansas?

It started out as a proposed trade between two 9-year-old Wichita boys.

But this trade quickly turned into a field full of roses...roses with ready-to-sting bees.

One boy offered a .38-caliber handgun for an Xbox, a popular electronic game system, officials say. The gun would turn out to be loaded.

And the XBox came with Shenmue 2.

But the trade never occurred. Instead, the boy offering the gun has been suspended from school, and his grandfather has received a notice to appear in court for improperly storing a firearm.

Also, the boy with the XBox was ordered to get some good games.

Everyone -- including the grandfather -- agreed Wednesday that the good thing is no one got hurt.

Except the boy with the XBox...

A possible tragedy was averted because authorities were notified, police said.

"But what is truly tragic is that the little boy with the XBox does not have any good games for his system...it really breaks my heart."

Instead of going through with the trade Tuesday, the boy with the Xbox told his mother about the offer. The mother quickly notified a teacher, and soon police were alerted, school district spokeswoman Susan Arensman said.

The mother was concerned, because her son hesitated in unloading his XBox. She thinks it has some sort of demon inside of it.

Police found the loaded gun in the boy's backpack at his home Tuesday night.

They also found his lunch money, and kept it as evidence.

Police spokeswoman Janet Johnson stressed that the gun never made it to school and that the boy made no threats.

"Because he didn't have the opportunity yet. We took that from him, too!"

The two boys are classmates at Woodman Elementary School, 2500 Hiram, Arensman said.

"Woodman...what a stupid name for a school, huh?"

Because the school district has a zero-tolerance policy against weapons and because the gun could have been taken to school, the boy who offered the trade has been suspended. He will remain on suspension pending a hearing that will be held within a week, Arensman said.

They'll be playing a rousing (read: boring) game of multiplayer Halo - loser leaves town.

The boy's grandfather and guardian, Clark Sharon, said he took precautions to keep the gun away from his grandson.

"I put it in a box, and labeled it with a piece of paper that said 'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T OPEN THIS EVEN IF YOU'RE A KID!!!!!'"

Johnson said Sharon has cooperated with investigators.

"After we broke his arm a few times, that is..."

The Eagle is not naming the boy.

But the chicken hawk will.

Tuesday afternoon, the boys discussed the trade as they walked home, off school grounds, Arensman said.

"So, do you want to trade your XBox--?"

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!"

"...I haven't even offered anything for it yet."

Sharon, 54, said he thought the gun -- a five-shot model -- had been stolen recently from his southwest Wichita home during a break-in. He didn't report it.

"It's all due to my crippling hatred of the police...except for you guys, you're all right."

It wasn't until Tuesday night, when police came to his door, that Sharon starting learning the truth:

"NO SANTA CLAUS???"

About two weeks ago, his grandson had taken a ladder around to Sharon's bedroom window.

And, contrary to what he had seen in Animal House...well, I'll let you fill in the blanks.

Sharon said he keeps his bedroom door locked from the inside and stored the unloaded pistol, out of sight, in the top rear of his closet. He kept the ammunition separately, in a nightstand.

"It's right between Scrabble and Candy Land."

But without Sharon knowing, he said, his grandson pried open the window from the outside, took the gun and loaded it with five bullets, then hid it in the garage.

"I'm so proud of him ;_; I mean, what he did was wrong. Very cool, but wrong."

The gun remained in the garage for about 10 days until the boy put it to his backpack, where police found it and confiscated it.

The moral of the story: Don't put stuff in your backpack.

"I thought I had taken every reasonable precaution," Sharon said.

"It's too bad that the kid was more immoral than I thought."

During questioning, the boy told officers he never planned to take the gun to school, Sharon said.

"He just wanted to put it in his backpack, is all."

"He just said his intention was to get an Xbox."

"Through any means necessary."

The boy had received another electronic-game toy and traded it away, his grandfather said.

"I don't know, it was N-something-or-other. Dang thing looked like dime-store garbage, to me."

Sharon, an aircraft tool builder, said his grandson is "very smart" and makes excellent grades.

"He's even better at trading for them, though."

Still, Sharon said, the boy doesn't yet fully understand the trouble he's in now.

"Oh, but he will...he will..."

The trade apparently was to have taken place at Sharon's house.

"I sure as hell wasn't in on this deal, though."

But the boy with the Xbox told his mother, who started the chain of alerting authorities.

"Mommy, what's better, a gun or an XBox?"

"Oh, you even have to think about that? I'm calling the cops."

"She did the right thing," Arensman said.

"Even if her kid still kept the XBox..."

"We're glad that the Police Department immediately... conducted the investigation."

Someone died during that pause, I bet.
Comments (14) | Permalink

Saturday, April 9, 2005

SEGA Fantasy VI
My sister showed me this just now, which a friend showed her last night. It's a parody of the ending sequence (and a few of the other scenes) from Final Fantasy VI...only with gaming consoles in place of the characters. I swear, the people who made this managed to fit every console I've ever heard of in my life, and then some. It's such a bizarre movie, but it's also very funny.

If you're not into FFVI or gaming in general, then you probably won't get that much out of it, though. The movie is insanely long, and a couple of parts drag, but most of it is pretty funny. It's worth it just see how the creators manage to fit the different consoles into the story. And it's also a good barometer to test how big of a geek you are - if you actually get most of the jokes in this movie, then you're probably a pretty big gaming geek lol.

Anyway, I just dropped in to share that.
Comments (2) | Permalink

Friday, April 8, 2005

Holly Golightly
For my Comm Ethics class today I had to find something that I considered 'morally offensive' and talk about it in class, bringing in an example if at all possible. I was at a loss as to what I should bring in. Is there anything that morally offends me that a million other people wouldn't already have jumped on? Probably not. Plus, I'm pretty lazy, so I didn't want to think too much about it.

At first, I was just going to find some random Internet article that might have offended me, but I ditched that idea pretty quickly. Half the dumbass stories on the Internet don't offend me at all, and the other half isn't worth wasting too much time on. Maybe there would have been a few stories here and there that had something for me to use, but that would take work to sift through and I am against that.

But then I remembered something: I'd just been watching Breakfast at Tiffany's earlier in the day. Those of you who have already seen the movie probably know where I went with this. Unfortunately, I had returned the movie to the library mere minutes before I walked into class on Tuesday (when the assignment was given to us), and I had to wait until the stupid thing was reshelved before I could get it back. I ended up having to wait until just before class today. Lame.

So, I went into class ready to do my mini-presentation. Right at the beginning of class we were split into groups, and all of the groups had to choose a representative to present his or her morally offensive material. Right then I was thinking "Hey, I might not have to present...but that would mean I was stalking the video at the library for nothing. Damn it." But, of course, my group elected me to present my material. I think that irony really enjoys having me among its many bitches.

Anyway, the bit I showed from Breakfast at Tiffany's was a short scene from the beginning of the movie involving the landlord of the apartment, Mr. Yunioshi. What's offensive about Mr. Yunioshi is that his character is basically made up of every Japanese stereotype that has ever existed. He's got squinty eyes, buck teeth, a really thick accent, and he's always seen doing some Japanese ritual like sitting in front of a small table in a kimono drinking sake. Man, that Mr. Yunioshi, he's Japanese to the core!! He really has no redeeming features at all, and you're just supposed to laugh at him because he's such a big buffoon. The worst part is that it isn't even an Asian actor - it's Mickey Rooney made up into a terrible caricature of a Japanese man.

However, the stereotype itself isn't what offends me so much. I've seen more than enough stereotypes in my life to know not to take them seriously at all. Mr. Yunioshi is just such an absurd character that I can't really think of him as more than just dumb. I'm not up in arms every time I see some sort of stereotype on TV. I don't find someone like Speedy Gonzales very offensive at all, for example.

I think that what I find most offensive about it is that I'm supposed to take a character seriously who has nothing to offer except being a terrible stereotype of the Japanese. At least Speedy Gonzales is really fast and is able to outsmart his enemies. Hell, a lot of characters from Futurama are pretty stereotypical on the surface (Hermes, anyone?), but they have a lot more to offer than just the stereotypes that they're based on. I sure as hell don't enjoy Hermes because he speaks with a funny accent and limbos occasionally. All Mr. Yunioshi's character boils down to is "Laugh at me because I bump into my Japanese decorations and I speak funny, hahaha!!!" Fuck that. I'll find something better to laugh at, thanks.

Anyway, that's enough of me being moral for now. Nobody comes here for the great morals, I'm sure.

There were more presentations, of course. Most of it was just the normal stuff that people usually get offended at. There was this one that was hilarious and boring all at once, though. This guy in the class was apparently very offended by something that he saw on a television show, which involved a person hosting a show about cars 'lying' (it was more like misinformation, I guess, because the guy in the show didn't seem to know what the hell he was talking about that much) about a car part in a Mercedes-Benz vehicle, or something. I don't even remember it completely. I'm honestly not even remotely interested in cars, so I was pretty bored from the start.

After this guy told us about what offended him so much (at which point half of the class is like "The hell? O_o;"), he showed us the show with the misinformation in it. Problem is that the whole thing ends up being fifteen minutes long, and the fucking clip he actually wanted to show was like five or ten seconds at most. So, everyone just sat there watching the English host babble incoherently about car parts while driving around in a Mercedes for fifteen minutes. I would have hung myself right then and there had a noose been available. We were all just sitting around saying "END, DAMN YOU, END!!!!" while the guy presenting it was just standing at the front of the classroom, oblivious. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, honestly.

And then when it's all over, the guy went on some mini-rant like "How dare they blantlantly misrepresent my favorite car, the Mercedes-Benz [insert exact car here because I can't remember which one it was]!!" It was like hearing someone read a bad message board post out loud. The whole time I was wondering if Mercedes-Benz had paid him to do that presentation. I mean, the way he kept mentioning the name of the car, the fifteen-minute video, the mini-rant...nobody in their right mind would do all that, right? He had to be paid off. After the rant was over I was just sitting in awe of him, because this was simultaneously the funniest and most boring thing I've ever witnessed in person, and I have no idea how anyone could even pull that off.

I think that the saddest thing is that this was far and away the best thing that I've seen in college so far.
Comments (7) | Permalink

Monday, April 4, 2005

Pirate President
EDIT: Apparently the top part of my post got cut off for some reason. I guess I just suck at copying and pasting. Anyway, I just wanted to thank the five people who commented on my story yesterday lol. Five was more than I was expecting, so that was nice.

Has anyone else been getting bizarre PMs lately? I don't know if they're in season, or something, but I've been receiving tons of weird PMs recently. Stuff ranging from forum invites (annoying) to soliciting my opinion on cyber-sex (strange) right to someone asking if I wanted to partake in cyber-sex because they saw my picture on the OB Picture Archive (creepy, at first, then hilariously weird).

I really can't fathom the appeal of cyber-sex at all. I'd be hard pressed to think of anything less sexy than someone IMing/PMing/e-mailing me with "Hey, baby, wanna cyber?" Maybe that's just me, though. Besides that, I don't think that anyone who partakes in cyber-sex would type anything even remotely arousing. I don't know about you guys, but I doubt that many people would be turned on by "and then i touch ur b00bi3z!!11!1" and the like.

It's one thing to chat with a person online, and develop some sort of friendship or relationship with them. We all have our friends on the Internet. However, the 'net isn't really the place to go if you're looking for a physical relationship with someone...at least not through chat form, or anything O_o; I would think that whacking off to a bunch of words appearing onscreen would lose its appeal after, say, five seconds. Unless the words were written in a proper grammatical context, which I would guess is a real big turn-on over at OB - maybe then it'd be ten seconds, or so.

Anyway, if there's one lesson to be learned from this, it's that drugs are bad for you. Speaking of drugs, it's time for Shinmaru vs. The World (which may or may not have a drug-related story this week)!

First article can be read here.

W.Va. man accused in microwave arson

Arson moves into the future!

A man was charged with arson on Friday after he allegedly heated a can containing gasoline in a microwave oven following a domestic dispute.

"Ooh, I'm so angry that I could heat up a can of gasoline for no reason at all!"

Vereen Taylor, 32, is accused of setting the fire at about 2 a.m. Friday after arguing with the mother of one of his children, Charleston police Sgt. Aaron James said.

Wait, 'the mother of one of his children' or 'one of the mothers of his children'?

Taylor and an unidentified friend got out of the house without injury. The friend ran back inside and attempted to put out the fire but was overpowered by flames and escaped a second time without injury, James said.

What a wuss!

The two-story wood frame house was engulfed in flames when firefighters arrived. A damage estimate was not immediately available.

"Our best guestimate is that this house is completely burned to the ground."

Taylor was being held at South Central Regional Jail awaiting arraignment.

He'll be out within the week.

---

Next article can be read here.

'Pirate' On Ballot For Student Body President At N.C. State

I hope that he chose a good Vice-Presidential candidate first mate.

One candidate for student body president at North Carolina State University is rocking the boat.

Not good. Most major studies show that 'rocking the casbah' works better than 'rocking the boat'.

A student is on the ballot, not under a real name, but as The Pirate Captain. He even has a platform or "plank." It includes "expanding the bus lines to haul thar peopled cargo to and fro from ACC bouts at the yonder RBC Center." Also, "holding meetin's open to all yae landlubbers."

I don't know if this person is the worst politician ever or the greatest politician ever.

The Pirate Captain said his candidacy is serious. At least one of his competitors believes it.

Long John Silver or Captain Hook?

"It's cool how he's doing things, how he wants to get out and have his message heard," presidential candidate Will Langley said.

"Plus, he does this funny dance when you throw nickels at him. He's also pretty good with the accordion."

Candidate Lock Whiteside is not sure what to make of it.

His name is Lock Whiteside; he's got bigger problems than pirates.

"We were hanging up our signs one night and we ran into him and his craw. They were all dressed up in pirate gear and he came to the debate the other night dressed up as a pirate as well, so it's ridiculous. It really is," presidential candidate Lock Whiteside said.

"And they made fun of my stupid name! :("

"Voting for someone who wants to rid the campus of scurvy dogs is not really an effective way of having student government," sophomore Christopher Sanchez said.

"I mean, seriously, he can't get rid of all of the politicians on campus, can he?"

The Pirate Captain was able to get on the ballot because all students need to run for office is a valid student ID number to verify they are in good standing. The Pirate Captain promises to dress more "dapper" if he's elected.

That's it, he has my vote now. We need more dapper pirates in office.

---

Last article can be read here.

P. Diddy to Make Custom Rims for Vehicles

As if rims weren't stupid enough already.

At 35, Sean "P. Diddy" Combs has already made his mark as a hip-hop musician, Broadway actor, marathon runner, fashion designer, celebrity boyfriend, gossip column favorite, voter registration booster and all-around entertainment entrepreneur.

Why hasn't anyone killed him yet? Seriously. He's made his horrible mark on too many facets of society.

Now, the former Puff Daddy is going into the auto parts business - and it's all about the wheels.

Hahaha, it's a horrible reference to one of his songs! I get it! I get jokes!

Combs is joining forces with a Kansas City manufacturer to produce a new line of custom, precision-forged aluminum rims for sports trucks, luxury SUVs and high-end American- and German-made automobiles.

"With my powers of annoyance, we're going to make spinning rims dumber than ever!"

The 50-50 joint venture between Combs' Bad Boy Worldwide Entertainment Group and Kansas City's Weld Wheel Industries Inc. was announced Thursday at the New York International Auto Show. SJC Wheels LLC will produce and sell "Sean John Wheels," named for the entertainer. They hit stores next month, retailing at between $700 and $3,000 each.

Yes, you read right, now you can pay upwards of $3,000 to make your car look completely idiotic!

"Wheels have become a fashion statement - a badge of taste and style," Combs said. "We see an opportunity to bring excitement to the wheel category by delivering the Sean John sophisticated design with the best quality production."

Yeah, when I think of taste and style, rims are the first thing to pop in my mind. Right between the Garfield suction-cup stuffed animals and a flat tire.

Partner Greg Weld, the founding president and chief executive of Weld Wheel, said Combs had told him he'd show him how to "bring some sexy" to the wheel business.

"I'm still waiting for this so-called 'sexy' that Mr. Diddy promised me."

Weld, a 61-year-old former auto racing driver who started his wheel manufacturing business in 1970, was a little overwhelmed at the attention attracted by his new partner, marveling at his ability to work a crowd and "build his brand."

"Yeah, he really knows how to prostitute himself in order to make some money."

"In the urban market, they call it 'bling-bling' which means showy, shiny and 'Look at me, I have a lot of bling,'" he said. "The way we've designed spokes, holes, the features, it looks like it is aggressively moving when it's not even moving."

This is the greatest definition of bling-bling that I've ever encountered.
Comments (17) | Permalink

Sunday, April 3, 2005

The Librarian
I posted this over at OB, but I just felt like putting it up here, too. Read if you have time, don't if you don't, etc. Comments and critique would be appreciated.

---

Marion was a librarian. As far as librarians were concerned, Marion was very pretty. She had short, dirty blonde hair and green eyes. She almost always wore a lavender sweater that resembled a cloak, and a long, plain dress with a flowery pattern. She also had reading glasses, but she rarely used those because she almost never had the opportunity to use them. She always seemed to be busy with other things.

Marion would walk into the library each morning bright and early. She checked in as promptly and punctually as she could, but she could not help it if she was late more often than not. The library was on a road that was far out of the way from Marion’s home. The school where she took her children was in the complete opposite direction from the library, and also happened to be out of the way from Marion’s home, as well. Since customers were very scarce when Marion arrived at the library, she did not think that it was much of a problem if she arrived a few minutes late.

“Are you late again, Marion?” Ms. Hodge, the head librarian, said, stepping in front of Marion as soon as she walked through the front door. “Honestly, that’s the third time this week!”

“I-I’m sorry,” Marion stammered after jumping back in surprise at Ms. Hodge’s sudden appearance. “I tried as best I could to get here on time, but--”

“I’ve heard your excuses before, Marion,” Ms. Hodge deadpanned. She stood glaring at Marion with her arms crossed over her chest. Ms. Hodge was very short; standing at full height, she only reached up to Marion’s shoulders. Her heavily wrinkled face was set in a look of fury, which was at once both comical and frightening. She tapped absently at the thick spectacles set on the bridge of her nose. Her right foot tapped along in rhythm.

“I’m really sorry,” Marion muttered. She looked past Ms. Hodge and into the main room of the library. There were already a few people in there. Behind the checkout counter, a couple of workers were setting up the outdated computers that the librarians used. One of Marion’s co-workers was busy putting away a few books. Ms. Hodge’s large desk, which was situated in the middle of the library, was of course empty. Marion could not bring herself to look at Mrs. Hodge. Instead, she concentrated on the small novel in her hands, The Awakening, gripping it tightly.

“Just get to work,” Ms. Hodge sighed. She turned around and left the room, shaking her head as she walked away. Marion calmed herself and waited until she was rid of the slight embarrassment that she always felt when she spoke with Ms. Hodge. After a few moments, Marion decided to get to work. The thick heels of her shoes clacked loudly on the floor as she exited the room. She then walked behind the checkout counter. Her computer was already on, and one of her co-workers, a boy named Jake who was barely out of high school, was standing next to it.

“I turned on your computer, ma’am,” Jake said, brushing a hand through his messy hair.

“Thank you, Jake,” Marion replied, putting her book down on a chair. “And please don’t call me ‘ma’am’.”

“Sorry,” Jake said. He walked to the employee’s room, while Marion prepared to serve the two people who were standing in line. A man stepped forward and placed a book on the desk. He glanced around the room impatiently while Marion was scanning the barcode on the back of the book. When she was done with that, she took out a small stamp from below her desk, and stamped a date on a sticker near the barcode.

“Here you go, sir,” Marion said kindly. “Your book will be due in three weeks.”

“Yeah, thanks,” the man said. He grabbed the book from Marion’s hands and left the room. A woman stepped forward from the line. She was carrying five video tapes in her hands. She placed them in a messy stack onto the table.

“I’d like to check out these videos,” the woman said. Marion smiled politely and began opening up the tape boxes. She scanned them just the same as she did the books, but she also checked to see if all of the tapes were rewound. All of them were. Marion also had to rub the tapes once or twice against some sort of metal box so that the alarm would not go off when customers left the library. She didn’t know how this worked at all, nor did she suspect that anyone in the library knew how this worked, either.

When Marion was finished checking out the videos, the woman scooped them up happily and turned to leave the library. Marion looked out at the room. There were only a few other people in the library at the moment. Most of the patrons were searching through the bookcases. Ms. Hodge was tapping away at her computer. Marion sat down on a chair and she took out her reading glasses from a pocket. She put the glasses on and began reading her book contently. A few words in, a sharp, piercing cry rang through the hall. Marion took off her glasses and scanned the room.

The customer from earlier had set off the alarms. She walked back up to Marion with a blank look on her face. She then handed the videos back to Marion. Sighing a bit, Marion re-checked out the videos, and scanned them against the metal box. The woman nodded her head, took the videos, and walked out of the room. Marion went back over to the chair to sit down, when the alarm sounded off once again.

“Please just go,” Marion said. “The videos are checked out to you, I have the record right here. There’s just something wrong with the alarm at the moment. It’s nothing major, I’m sure of that.”

“No, no,” the woman replied, coming back through the white columns that held the alarm scanners. “I want to make absolutely sure that I’m not just taking these videos from you. I don’t want that alarm ringing when I leave the library.”

“Really,” Marion pleaded. “It’s no trouble at all, I assure you that I have the record right here.” But the woman would not listen, so Marion had to repeat the procedure again. She would have to do it again three more times afterwards before the alarm system would cooperate. Jake had managed to serve six customers in the time that it had taken Marion to satisfy the one. After the small ordeal, Marion decided to take a break. She picked up her book, went into the employee’s room, and she sat down on a chair.

“Hey!” Jake shouted, after a few moments. “I need your help out here!” Marion groaned and put away her reading glasses once again. She stood up and walked into the other room.

“What is it?” Marion asked.

“This guy wants to sign up for a library card,” Jake replied. “But I can’t find the library card forms.”

“Did you look in the desk drawers?” Marion questioned.

“Of course I looked in the desk drawers,” Jake answered. “They weren’t there.”

“Well, that’s where they usually are,” Marion said. She walked over to a desk drawer on the far side of the room, and she opened it up. Inside were many library card forms. Marion took one of the forms and handed it to Jake, who had a sheepish grin on his face.

“Thanks,” Jake said, handing it to the person who was waiting at the desk.

“You’re welcome,” Marion replied. She turned to leave the room, but Jake put a hand on her shoulder. “What is it?”

“Would you mind staying for a moment?” Jake asked. “I’ve never given a library card to anyone before - I don’t really know what to do.”

“It’s simple,” Marion said, astonished. “You just wait for him to fill out the form, enter some information into the computer, scan the card, and then you give the card to him. It’s really very simple, Jake.”

“Just help me out, please?” Jake asked. Marion gave in and walked Jake through the tedious process of signing a person up for a library card. She helped the customer with all of his questions about what information he could put on the form, and what information he would be allowed to leave off. She helped Jake struggle with the antique computer to put in the necessary information. And she helped Jake out when the computer refused to scan the library card barcode into the system.

“Thanks a lot,” Jake said. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Marion said. “I’m going to the backroom.” Marion sat down in the same chair that she had sat in earlier, and she took out her reading glasses. She started reading her novel, but she was interrupted after a few seconds.

“Hey, Marion,” Sally said, walking into the room and plopping down onto the dusty couch in the corner of the room. Whenever Marion was at the library, even when she was not working, Sally was always doing some sort of work there. Marion suspected that the library was Sally’s entire existence; she never seemed to leave, or if she did, she very rarely left.

“Hello, Sally,” Marion replied, letting a small note of irritation slip into her voice. Sally did not seem to notice.

“How’s everything going with you?” Sally asked.

“As well as it could be,” Marion replied. “My kids are all going to school now. They’re all going to the same school at the moment, thankfully.” Marion allowed herself a slight smile.

“That’s good,” Sally said. She poured herself a drink, and took a loud sip from her cup. “I can’t imagine how excited you must be to have all of your children in school! I remember the first day that my little boy attended school. He was so very nervous, and he wouldn’t let go of my leg when we got to the school. But I gave him a nice pep-talk right then and there. Do you know what I said?”

“No,” Marion replied, glancing at her book. “What did you say?”

“I told him ‘Little Charlie,’” Sally began. “Charlie is his name, by the way. ‘Little Charlie, there’s no reason for you to be worrying. School isn’t an experience to be afraid of; it’s an experience to be excited about! You’ll be perfectly fine in there, Charlie, and at the end of the day you’ll be glad that I took you to school.’ And then my little boy let go of my leg and went to school with a big smile on his face! Isn’t that just precious?”

“Yes,” Marion replied. “That’s very fascinating.”

“So, how has your husband been doing?” Sally asked.

“He became ill recently,” Marion said.

“Oh!” Sally gasped. “I hope that it’s nothing serious!”

“No, it’s not,” Marion said. “It’s just the flu. He’s been restrained to his bed for a few days, though, and I don’t think that he’ll be getting better any time soon. It seems that he’s caught a rather nasty form of the flu.”

“That’s too bad,” Sally said. “Still, all you can do is make sure that he doesn’t suffer any more than he has to.”

“I guess so,” Marion sighed. Sally took another loud sip from her cup.

“Say, Marion…?” Sally began.

“Yes?” Marion asked, standing up from her chair.

“Would you mind going out with me perhaps later on tonight?” Sally asked. “Maybe for a little girls’ night out type of thing.”

“I can’t,” Marion replied. “I have my husband to take care of, remember? Plus, I have the kids to worry about.”

“Oh, that’s right!” Sally said. “What a silly goose I am!” Sally let out a loud, bellowing laugh that set Marion’s hair on end. “Then how about in a few weeks, then, if you’re not too busy?”

“We’ll see,” Marion said, her heart beating a bit faster than normal. “Maybe if I’m not too busy.” Marion forced herself not to go any further. If Sally had known her real feelings on the matter, she most certainly would have been very offended.

“I think that I’ll be getting back to work, then,” Sally said, standing up. “It was nice talking to you, Marion.”

“It was nice talking to you, too, Sally,” Marion said. She added an ‘I guess’ under her breath when Sally left the room. She looked up at the clock, and saw that she had about ten minutes left in her break. She sat down once again, and reached over for her book. As soon as her fingers grabbed the spine of the novel, Ms. Hodge strode into the room.

“Marion, I need you to go put away some books,” Ms. Hodge said.

“What?” Marion said. “But I still have a few minutes of break time left.”

“And what were you planning to do with that?” Ms. Hodge asked. “Read? I daresay that you can read on your own time, Marion. Now go put away those books!”

“Yes, Ms. Hodge,” Marion murmured, her voice escaping softly from her lips. She stepped out from the backroom and into the main area of the library. There were carts full of books by nearly every bookshelf, their contents ready to be put away. Jake was busy at the front desk, tending to a long line of people who were ready to check out books and videos. Sally was busy talking to a small group of children in the children’s section of the library. A few other people were chatting away in a secluded corner of the library.

Marion walked over to the first bookshelf, rolled the cart of books into the middle of the cramped hall, and began putting away the books. After a few moments, Marion realized that not all of the books were going to fit on this shelf. Then she saw that some of the books that were already on this shelf were in the wrong section. Shaking her head lightly, Marion took some of the books off of the rack and placed them onto the cart beside her. She then replaced these books with the rest of the books on the cart. After about a half hour, she finished with the first section.

It was the same with the rest of the sections. Marion was surprised with how sloppily the books were put away, since she had not recently assigned to put away the books. Many of the novels were in completely wrong sections that were not even close to where they should have been taken to. The worst part was that the books that actually belonged in each section had to be put away all over the place. Marion was constantly bending over and also stretching far above where she normally would have to reach. She would also have to evade books that fell from the uppermost shelves. Many of these books had been put away very loosely, and were liable to fall off of the shelf at even the slightest shock.

It took Marion a few hours to put away all of the books. Her limbs were very sore afterwards, and a sharp pain shot through her back. She pushed the carts back one at a time to the backroom with a slight grimace on her face. When she was finished she walked up to Ms. Hodge’s desk and asked to leave early.

“Now why should I let you leave early?” Ms. Hodge asked.

“I’m not feeling very well at the moment,” Marion answered. “And it’s almost time for me to pick up my children from school. I’m sure that my husband needs something right now, too.”

“Okay,” Ms. Hodge said, trying in vain to hide the small smirk developing on her face. “You may leave early today, Marion.”

“Thank you,” Marion replied. She left the room as quickly as she could, despite the soreness spreading through her legs. Her heels clicked and clacked on the floor as she walked once again through the entrance hall. With a strain of effort, Marion pushed open the front door of the library and walked outside. The sun shone brightly in her face, and she raised her hand up to her eyes, covering them for a few moments.

She walked to her car, opened the door, and got inside. The car was very hot, but Marion tried to ignore it. She placed her hands on the steering wheel and then retracted them quickly. The wheel was very hot. With a grunt of annoyance, Marion placed one hand on the steering wheel, and put her key in the ignition with the other. The car started up, and Marion pulled it out of the parking lot and into the main road.

The road to Marion’s home was long, twisted, and full of sharp curves. The sun was starting to dip eastward, and the solar rays flew right into Marion’s sightline. She squinted the entire drive home. This made a few of the trickier turns more difficult than they usually were, but Marion managed. When she made it to the house and got out of her car, she noticed that a dull ache had developed in her head and she was slightly dizzy. She walked carefully to the house, and walked inside.

The interior of her home was no cooler than it was outside. Marion tossed her book on a coffee table near a couch in the living room. She shut the door behind her, and when she did, a loud coughing sounded off through the halls.

“Is that you, honey?” Marion’s husband’s raspy voice asked.

“Yes, it’s me,” Marion answered. “Have you taken your medicine yet?”

“You know that I can’t get out of bed right now,” her husband said. “I think that it’s barely time for me to take it right now, anyway.” Marion stayed silent and walked into the kitchen. Sitting on a counter next to a stainless steel spoon was a bottle of flu medicine. She picked up the bottle and spoon and took them to her husband’s room. Marion’s husband lay pathetically on his bed, his sheets drawn just under his nose, with his hands and feet peeking out from the extremities of the blankets. His eyes and nose were as red as Marion had ever seen.

“Open wide,” Marion said, pouring some medicine onto the spoon. With a grunt of effort, Marion’s husband opened his mouth long enough for Marion to stick the spoon inside of his gaping jaw. Her husband swallowed the medicine with a look of disgust on his face.

“I don’t think that I’ll ever get used to that,” he said.

“Don’t complain,” Marion said. “The taste of medicine should be the least of anyone’s worries.” She poured him another spoonful, and she fed it to him. This time he was a bit more accepting of the medicine, and he swallowed it without complaint. Marion put down the medicine and the spoon on her husband’s bedside counter, and turned to leave the room.

“Where are you going?” her husband asked.

“I’m going to pick up the kids,” Marion replied. “I should be back before long.” She leaned over and planted a soft kiss onto her husband’s forehead. He smiled appreciatively and buried himself into his covers. Marion left the room quickly and strode all the way to the front door.

She stopped in front of it and glanced over at the coffee table. Her book was still laying there. She felt at her reading glasses absently, lost in thought. Her breathing had stilled almost completely. Marion could sense everything around herself, and yet she could sense nothing at all. She shook her head rapidly and came back into reality. She opened the door and was met with a fresh blast of hot air.

“Goodbye, honey!” her husband managed to shout hoarsely. Marion looked blankly at the hall leading up to her husband’s room. She then glanced forlornly one last time at the book on the coffee table.

“Goodbye,” she whispered, walking through the door and closing it behind her.
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Saturday, April 2, 2005

There's the truth...and there's the truth!
A PM I was sent just now:

"If you do not send this to 50 people in the next 24 hours one of your loved ones will die! If you send it back then you will kill me so do not send it back."

I sent it back.
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Friday, April 1, 2005

He no longer suffers from delusions of humanity.
Thanks to one Cesar Chavez, I had the day off from school today. So, what did I do to celebrate the strides Cesar Chavez made in labor rights for migrant workers? I read and watched movies all day! Yes!

Most of the reading was for school, though, so there was really little enjoyment there. I did read Edgar Allan Poe's "The Cask of Amontillado", which was pretty cool, and surprisingly short (the version in my textbook is a little under five pages long).

I watched Big Fish today with my sister, which was a pretty cool movie. Every once in a while it's nice to just sit down and watch a movie that makes you feel good and smile, you know? I also really liked how stylish the movie was, as most of Tim Burton's films happen to be. The colors, images, etc. really seemed to work well and fit perfectly with what the film was going for. Plus, I don't think that there was a character in the movie that I didn't like to some degree - yes, even after seeing Danny DeVito's bare ass, I still thought that his character was amusing. The ending was nice and heartwarming, as well, which is a plus. I enjoy heartwarming endings when they're done well.

I also watched Memento, which was really, really good. I think that Mimmi might have mentioned it on her myOtaku once, and I also saw a scene from the movie on the Shout About Movies game, so I decided to check it out when I saw the tape at the library. I really like the way that the story was told (the movie starts with what is supposed to be the 'last' scene in the story, and works its way back to the beginning, for the most part), because it adds a different type of suspense to everything. It's a technique I've not seen employed in very many movies, but then again, there are a lot of movies that I haven't seen. Memento still rules, though.

Funny thing, I actually guessed what the ending would be about halfway through the movie, though it was more of a tentative guess than an "I know I'm right!" sort of guess. And right after I was really sure that my idea of the ending would be what really happened, about a billion things happened that made me recant my idea lol. And then the ending ends up being what I thought it would be, anyway XD

Luckily, just about everything presented made sense, instead of just being tacked on as half-assed red herrings to distract the audience from figuring out the ending. I really hate it when that happens in movies; it's very annoying.

I didn't really do much else today. As I've said before, holidays and vacations are for sitting around and doing nothing, or at least next to nothing. However, I wish to plug this, which is likely the coolest video game thread that any of you will ever see for the rest of your pathetic lives.

Enjoy!
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