Sunday, October 23, 2005

   Naaa...
None of your sites are loading for me! *cries* And sorry that I ahven't really been around...I'm still sick. Got this nasty ass cold that just keeps getting worse. Coughing so much is driving me crazy and makes singing(my ultimate joy in life) difficult. Piano isn't as hard but I keep coughing as I go. Even after I take stuff for it. GAH. *sigh* so I don't know.

Me an' Jeremy are in a lil'..."disagreement". ha ha. Cause ya see, he told me "The only way you'll get respect from Kyle is if you always act above him. In other words, you need to grow up." And then just now, apparently Kyle had pushed the button and made some shaving cream come out. What does Jeremy do? Wipes it on Kyle's pants and tells him not to do it again. So what does that make Kyle do? Cry. And I told him "Ya know, you told me the only way to deal with him is to be mature about it-and look what you're doing. Now who's acting two right along with Kyle, huh?" So of course he tries to justify it and such and just pisses himself off. *shrugs*

Ya know...it's kinda strange...I don't like drawing attention to myself, and I don't like it when attention is drawn to me(so, Lyss, that's why my character isn't so active in our RP)...yet it's like I do things that make me stand out. My hair is very long. About to the middle of my butt-over 31 inches. *hasn't measured recently* That draws attention to me. I remember at Renaissance Faire, this one woman said to someone "wow, I wonder if she sits on it." ha ha. And then my grades are really good...so the only reason I've ever been talked to at school was people asking for answers or explinations. For a while, I looked rather Goth...and although I'm always the cold one who doesn't give a shit about having friends or making conversation...I know I still desire it. Jeremy identifies more with Sasuke...and I identify more with Naruto(I also have a high pain tolerence, so like Naruto, I can be smacked around for a while and still get up and fight. XD). So I guess it causes problems. But I don't know...I've always thought myself the "black sheep" of the family, but it seems Erik's taken my place on that. I'm just...me. What's strange to me is that Jeremy and Erik, and maybe even my mom, have this odd impression of me. They think I'm this social bug with lots of friends who's always so happy and this and that. But...I don't think I am. The older I get, the more quiet and reserved I become, making me increasingly harder and harder to get to know. And you know what? No one spends the time to try either. I guess it's better like that. You don't spend the time trying to get to know someone, you're not interested enough and probably not worth that person's time. Then again, I suppose I don't try to get to know anyone else either. But that's because of how quiet and shy I've become. Of course, i'm sure this kind of personality will be no good on stage. But we'll see. Maybe there's a different me that I can pull out for that. It's just strange that while I act and seem and sometimes feel like I don't want attention, I draw it to myself(generally negative attention, as in, any kind I don't want. Like people whispering about me[good or bad things] and such...), sometimes unconciously. Of course, i ahve no one but myself to blame for that. Eh, maybe I'm thinking too deeply into it. Who knows. I think I want a cookie. How are you all doing since your sites are being mean? Ja ne!
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Age is only a number...maturity is measured by how you act.
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YAOI WARNING!


I liked this pic...so I colored it. Kawaii.




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