myOtaku.com: ShadowLight

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1985-04-28
Gender
• Female
Location
• Portugal - Azores
Member Since
• 2004-02-11
Occupation
• A hopeless dreamer, a joyfull tea drinker and Graphic Design Apprentice.
Real Name
• Shadow

Personal

Achievements
• Having ice-cream
with Someguy
Goals
• Somewhere where I can touch the sky
Hobbies
• Being silly.
Talents
• Being silly, a klutz, a mindreader....
I can think of the wittiest things but I'm unable to phrase anything at all

myOtaku.com: ShadowLight

Monday, April 25, 2005

Mood: Don't really know how to describe it... ~_~''

Well...i finaly had the conversation with the boy i talked a few days ago (the boy who made the promise, remember?), so yeah i ask his friend his number and called him, we talk like an hour ago...so its really fresh in my head ~_~
He was surprised when i asked him if we could meet, so here is what we talked:
[This is gonna be a little long, so well i'm just warning you..]
Him: You really came!
Me: Yeah, why?
Him: Well...i thought it you were not going to show, you know...to make me suffer...i don't know...
Me: I'm not like that...you know that!
Him: Yeah...sorry...so why you called me?And why you wanna meet me here?
Me: You know why...(i never looked at him when i was talking, i don't know why i just couldn't!)
Him: I thought you don't want it to talk about that anymore..
Me: I changed my idea, i can do that right??
Him: yeah...ofcourse...
Me: Okie...lets take a walk...
(we begun walking we stayed silent for a long time, then i stopped)
Me: Okie...this is taking to long, lets just...lets just put this straight right now!Tell me why you acted like that 4 years ago?
Him: Oh please not that again!!
Me: Come on, i need to know why you act so stupid like that!!
Him: You really don't wanna know...
Me: Please i need to know, just tell me, i can handle...(finally i looked at him)
Him: *sigh* i know you will hate me for this...
Me: I.... won't...
Him:...i remember the promise...i remember everything...its just...you were so vulnerable in that day...you couldn't stop crying...i felt helpless...so that's why i made the promise...
Me:WHAT??......why....?
Him: I told you already, i promise that to make you feel better...i really care for you back then...you were my best friend!!In that two years i tried to find you...i just stoped and finally gave up...so then you showed up, you didn't changed a bit, well you grew up, but your face still is the same, the way you looked, the way you act its same way...i couldn't believe!It was really great to see you again!
But...
Me: But...
Him:.. then you asked me if i remembered the promise!
I lied to you, i mean i loved you but not the same way you loved me...i lied to my best friend...
Me:So why didn't you tell me, the truth???
Him: I don't know, maybe i just was afraid to make you cry again, i really don't know!
Me: Guess what?You made me cry even more acting the way you act, and saying all that things you said to me, you made me feel the worst person in the world!!!
Him: I'm sorry...i really am...the way i act was wrong really wrong...[he said more but i don't remember because i was trying not to cry]..that's why i wanted to talked to you in the other day...to explain for once everything...you were so cute back then and still are and yet to depend on me, the way i act was because i allways knew you loved me but i couldn't love you back, my love for you was and still are like brother and sister...
Me:I'm glad that finally you had courage to tell me this...but you are wrong about something...i'm not cute and i'm not depended of you anymore...
So yeah the promise was a lie after all...once again i didn't need to post this, but since i talked here about this i think you guys diserve to know the truth also, even though its a not a good one *big sigh*
Don't feel bad for me really i prefer to know the truth then living my whole life with a lie...it hurts i can't denie it, but give me a few days and i'll be fine again *little smille*
Well i don't know if i'll be around here this week, since i will have almost everyday tests, but i'll do my best to be around...
Believe me when i register here was the best thing i did and have now, it really supports me in a way i can not describe...
I love you all*hugs warmly everyone*

Shadowlight out...
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