One example would be of my gf's mom having three bloodclots in her lungs. On top of that, all that stupid blood shit runs in her family, so Jatna (my gf) might have one as well, or may develop a few later on in life. On top of all of that, she has tuberculosis, which INCREASES the chance of bloodclots. I mean, we were talking on the phone, right? So, her mother comes up to her and wants to talk to her.
So I'm sitting there for 5 minutes, waiting for Jatna to come back, developing a suspicion that she's just letting the phone sit there to make me angry (because she said she was mad at me about something), and then she comes back on the phone, and she sounds like her cat just died or something. So she explains to me that her mother has 3 bloodclots in her lungs. Not NEAR her lungs, not just OUTSIDE her lungs. Actually IN her lungs. Her mom's left hand is swollen from not getting enough air from her lungs.
That's how bad it is right now. The doctor wanted Jatna's mom to bring Jatna in to run some sort of test to make sure she doesn't have any. So, anyway, her mom told her that, just, like, a few minutes before this writing. She made Jatna, promise not to let her father take care of her brother Hector. (He's so cute, he just turned 3 the other day, and apparantley Jatna and Hector's father is a horrible person. I'm not one to judge, but that's what Jatna says.)
So, now Jatna's worried she's gonna die and everything, and as comforting as I can be, I honestly don't have that much confidence that she's going to pull through. Sure, the doctors could easily get rid of those bloodclots. It wouldn't even take half-an-hour's worth of surgery, but what happens when she gets more? It's not like she can get surgery every few months or whatever. The doctors say it's just stress, but still.
I can't imagine how Jatna must... no, that's not true. My dad died a while ago of skin cancer, but that's beside the point. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. I mean, with just about anything else, I always have comforting words and things I can do to cheer Jatna up, but now it's like, I can't do shit. I mean, her mom may die in the near future. What can you say to that?
So now she's going to go into this deep depression about her mom and everything, and it's going to be horrible, because... because it just is damnit! I feel helpless.
Also, I don't mean to sound selfish or anything, but what am I supposed to do? You know, this girl loves me and everything. I don't even know if I feel the same way, and she still loves me just as much.
So, what's going to happen if her mom dies? She lives in the same house as her aunts and grandparents and stuff, but what if her relatives decide not to take care of her? What if she and Hector get dumped off at some foster home or some shit? What if her foster parents are abusive? What if they don't let her have access to the internet or anything? How would we keep in touch?
I don't even know if I love her or not (although lately, I think I'm starting to), but I don't want to lose her. She's not JUST my gf. She's my BEST friend besides that. My best friend USED to be Martin, but I think he missed the memo that said "GROW UP" over the summer. He's just an obnoxious asshole now.
This will just throw into the same mindset as before.
My mom doesn't like her.
Her mom is dying.
She may not go to Parkmont anymore if that happens.
Why try having a relationship if it's not going to work?
It's going to suck beyond belief, and I can't stand it! So, what am I supposed to do? Stand around and see what happens! There's nothing I can do anyway! This totally blows! Why does life have to suck this bad anyway?! Why does bad shit happen to good people?? That's what the hell I want to know!
Thanx for reading
Sephistrife15
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Words Cannot Describe How Sorrowful and Bitchy Life Can Be