Sunday, May 15, 2005

Hm, so yeah...what to say...18 days of school left! YAY. Auditions for Grease are next week. Wish me luck, I haven't had one voice lesson since I found out about the stupid audition and I seriously need help. I mean, I've been practicing, but It's getting to that point where I'm dreading the audition, and by the time I actually get there I'll have myself so worked up I'll be too nervous to perform my best. It's just the way it happens with me. I dunno. I'll just have to try not to be a spaz. Well, we''l see how it goes. Hmm...what else...there might be a guy that I'm maybe possibly interested in. Yes, I know, you're all just DYING to know the details. I don't know why I want to write about this. It's so weird. Whenever you like someone you never want them to find out but you still want to tell everyone else how you feel. At least that's how it is with me. Maybe I'm just weird that way. Anyway. Yes. The guy. Okay, his name is Andrew, he's a little over a year older than me but he's a senior. He's a volunteer for NET like me, and I met him in October. I thought I might have liked him then, but I just pushed that thought out of my mind partly because I am sick of having a crush on someone and didn't want to deal with the whole over dramatized unrequited love crap, and partly because he had a girlfriend. But the more I thought about it the more I've realized I can't just push that thought away. He broke up with his girlfriend, so that's at least something. Also, he said something that MIGHT have implied he feels the same. One of our friends was in a variety show kind of like Encore and I went to see it on Thursday. After the show I talked to my friend and she said Andrew had come the night before because she had told him I'd be there. I talked to him online a couple days ago and he was like "why weren't you at Jennifer's show? I went hoping to see you there." So...I don't know. I'm probably looking into things way too much. He might've just meant he was hoping to see someone he actually knew. Still, I can't help hoping....*shrugs.* I'm being stupid anyway. I mean, for one thing, why would anyone be remotely interested in me? I'm not trying to be sorry for myself or anything, I just can't imagine why anyone would feel that way about me. Besides, he's graduating in a few weeks and is going into the army. Damn, I really know how to pick 'em. This is so frusterating. I should just become a nun and live in a convent for the rest of my life. Out of sight, out of mind...right? *shakes head* Yeah right. I know from experience that that's not true.
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