Wednesday, April 6, 2011
i didn't even bother to check how long it had been since i last posted.|
it doesn't really matter in the long run though, right?
i suppose i don't even really know what to say, haha. there's a lot i could say. a lot i'd rather not say.
so how about this:
i've begun second guessing my life choices. (again).
after going out to california, and having all this time to think about things, i don't know what i want to do with my life. well, that's a little inaccurate. there is a lot that i know i want to do with my life, i just don't know where to start. i don't know if it's a matter of putting my finger down at random and setting out, or if it's a matter of plucking up the courage and just going without rhyme or reason.
if it's a courage thing, i doubt i'll ever have it.
but i don't want to run away from home without some validation here, without a plan. i can't be like jake and mckade. their whole mindset is geared for that sort of thing. they were made to leave.
i'm the sort of girl that wishes she could have that life, but isn't sure enough of herself to go out and get it.
sooner or later, i'll get it right.