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Monday, March 23, 2009
back at school.
i don't really want to be here, at all. it's killing me to be here, i can feel it. i had this sick knot of dread in my stomach the entire ride up here. i don't know what from, but it only faded after i sat down with katie and got drunk with her. i can feel myself becoming an alcoholic.
i should really tell matt that i do that. you know, get drunk on a weekly basis. do you think he'd hate me? yes. i think he would. or at least lose respect for me, and see me for the child that i really am.
:/
i'm talking to him right now.
it's moments like these that i wish he was here, not there.
but there's nothing to be done about it, yeah? i'll just have to wait until the summer. amanda said there's a chance we could drive down to oklahoma, to see her family that lives there, then make a detour to texas.
i like that idea.
i need to focus.
goodnight.
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