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Thursday, April 3, 2008


YOUR HAPPY BOX
GO AWAY
MY HAPPY BOX
WORLD DOMINATION PLANS
ALCHEMY BOOK
FAILED ATTEMPTS AT WORLD DOMINATION
BE MY FRIEND!
HELP ME PLOT WORLD DOMINATION!
Hello, I'm Dee, Pickle, Struddle whatever you feel like calling me. I like to draw,plot world domination, write, plot world domination, you know nothing unusual. Okay, so mabye I'm a freak, but I am NOT short understood? Good. I also like plotting world domanation, did I already mention that? No? Well I'll tell you again I WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!![insert evil laugh here]

[evil laughter] Ello peoples! This is aki speaking. don't you all just luv wat i did with this site? >3 i thought i did an awesome job =D
But anywayz, dai if you want your old layout back i suggest you hurry and write on the story. kapesh XD

~Aki [/evil laughter]

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Sunday, March 16, 2008


About the Story

YOUR HAPPY BOX
GO AWAY
MY HAPPY BOX
WORLD DOMINATION PLANS
ALCHEMY BOOK
FAILED ATTEMPTS AT WORLD DOMINATION
BE MY FRIEND!
HELP ME PLOT WORLD DOMINATION!
Hello, I'm Dee, Pickle, Struddle whatever you feel like calling me. I like to draw,plot world domination, write, plot world domination, you know nothing unusual. Okay, so mabye I'm a freak, but I am NOT short understood? Good. I also like plotting world domanation, did I already mention that? No? Well I'll tell you again I WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!![insert evil laugh here]

Before you all start throwing things at me, yell, and what not I decided to explain myself. *inhales quickly* I was going to post the rest but it seemed just so dull to me. (I HAVE WRITER OCD LEAVE MEH ALONE!)I'm trying to figure out something to thicken the plot or get some nore action in there or something. It just doesn't seem right! >.< I'm sorry

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Sunday, February 24, 2008


This is all I have for now! Gomen! ^^;

YOUR HAPPY BOX
GO AWAY
MY HAPPY BOX
WORLD DOMINATION PLANS
ALCHEMY BOOK
FAILED ATTEMPTS AT WORLD DOMINATION
BE MY FRIEND!
HELP ME PLOT WORLD DOMINATION!
Hello, I'm Dee, Pickle, Struddle whatever you feel like calling me. I like to draw,plot world domination, write, plot world domination, you know nothing unusual. Okay, so mabye I'm a freak, but I am NOT short understood? Good. I also like plotting world domanation, did I already mention that? No? Well I'll tell you again I WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!![insert evil laugh here]

Dumb AP classes that make you read a fourty page chapter and take notes! >.<

�Good guess.� He grunted and pushed them ahead. The double doors closed on the boys and Minoru gave a sadistic smile as she rummaged through her bag of torture devices, or as some females might call it, make-up.
Daikirai and Kuroneko gave each other a weary look. Aki and Misora seemed so much more calm about the whole transformation process than the other two girls. They were even participating in looking at the treacherous stuff with the intention of wearing it!
�Now�let�s see,� Minoru mumbled to herself, putting a manicured finger to her well glossed lip, �First thing that needs to be taken care of�the hair.� The blond sensei glanced at the four to see who her first victim would be and without the slightest hesitation, grabbed Kuro by the base of her ponytail and simultaneously taking a chair from underneath one of the tables and forcing her to sit down. �Aki, do you care to get me the rope from my bag?�
�Rope?!� Kuro yelped as the girl the she thought was her friend brought the restrainments. Misora took the liberty to secure her friend to the chair with the large rope as the sensei was mixing the hair coloring together. Kuroneko squirmed as her sensei neared with the goop. Minoru began to brush it onto the red tips that distinguished Kuroneko from the other clans, then, satisfied with her work she set a timer on to signal when she could wash it out.
She then moved to her next prey, she pointed to Misora then to a chair, as she dug into her bag. Misora followed orders and sat patiently as the blond sensei ran a brush through her bangs and placed them out of her face, only allowing a couple of locks to escape capture from the bobby pins.
�Wow,� Misora gasped, �I�ve never seen out of my right eye before.� She continued looking around as Minoru looked at Aki with a confused look.
�I really don�t have anything to change about your hair but�your eyes��
�What about them?� The violet haired girl asked blinking a few times.
�Your red eyes might freak out the customers,� She said quiet bluntly, �Hold still and close your eyes.�
Minoru was skilled in the art of medicine and she knew nearly every secret of the body. Changing the eye color of a person would be easy.

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Monday, February 11, 2008


Okay, lets see if this works *crosses fingers*

YOUR HAPPY BOX
GO AWAY
MY HAPPY BOX
WORLD DOMINATION PLANS
ALCHEMY BOOK
FAILED ATTEMPTS AT WORLD DOMINATION
BE MY FRIEND!
HELP ME PLOT WORLD DOMINATION!
Hello, I'm Dee, Pickle, Struddle whatever you feel like calling me. I like to draw,plot world domination, write, plot world domination, you know nothing unusual. Okay, so mabye I'm a freak, but I am NOT short understood? Good. I also like plotting world domanation, did I already mention that? No? Well I'll tell you again I WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!![insert evil laugh here]

Okay, my parents aloted me with enough time to call a few people and post a little bit before they send me back to doing my homework. Word is acting funny on my computer so I hope it puts the *rest* of what I have.

XIX

There was always something about mornings that made the four teams want to kill each other, well, uncaffeinated morning at least.
The four girls stumbled into the large office that their sensei�s shared when they were off duty or filling out paper work.
Osamu glared at them from one of the tables, �You all are exactly one minute and forty-three seconds late.�
Kuro lazily turned her head in his direction, �You know what, bite me.�
�I wouldn�t want to; you haven�t had your shots yet.�
�If you two don�t shut your traps now I will seer your mouth�s closed,� Masuyo snarled as he fumbled with his lighter and unlit cigarette.
There was silence again and everyone had nearly fallen back into there comatose state before Misora sprung up,
�Coffee! I smell coffee!!!�
The double doors busted open only seconds later with Minoru beaming with her morning person attitude and several cups of coffee on a large tray.
�How are my favorite people on this beautiful morning?!� She smiled and gave a small skip to each table, handing the students and sensei�s their daily dose of energy. Minoru laid a mug down on the table for Daikirai as well, without even realizing it.
Aki, Misora, and Kuro looked at Dai from the corner of their eyes, with the temptation of coffee, perhaps Daikirai would take off her mask. Dai stared down at the mug, sneering, as if it was taunting her.
�I�ll pass,� she grumbled and pushed the steaming mug away and glared at Minoru, �Since you have so much vigor, why don�t you give us a full briefing. Yesterday�s conference lacked a little detail, don�t you think?�
The blond sensei winced, was it her fault that she enjoyed mornings? She cleared her throat and pulled out her clipboard, �Your codename and mission goes as followed; Kuroneko you are Kiyoko you are a waitress.�
�Whatever,� Kuro gave a groggy response.
�Hiroshi your codename is Hiroto, you are a waiter. You must stick around Kuroneko; for communication purposes.�
�And me? Am I Stud Miffin?!� Kenji sprung up.
His sensei sighed, �No, your name is Kenshin.�
�Oh, do I get to stalk around the festival?� He interrupted and walked over to Katsuo. �Pssh, this is the Studly Kenshin, over.�
Katsuo followed his friends antics, pretending he had a walky talky as well, �Pssh, this is Sexy Beast. I can read you, over.�
Daikirai and Kuroneko punched their team mates in the jaw. Kenji�s and Katsuo�s heads made a thunk in the collision.
Minoru groaned, �Perhaps it would be easier if you all took the guys and give them their briefing.�
The three male sensei�s nodded in agreement.
�We�ll meet you there,� Isamu assured her.
Masuyo snatched Kenji and Katsuo by the back of their shirts with his free hand, �You two are coming with me.�
Katsuo looked up at him, �Where are we going?�
His sensei took a puff from his cigarette, �To a dark alley where no one can hear you scream when I murder you.�
�You would never hurt us�would you?� Kenji gave him a pleading look.
�Ever heard of Team 13?�
�Yea, that was the team that disappeared and only their sensei made it back.�
�Do you know who their sensei was?�
The two boys gulped, ��You�?�
�Good guess,�He grunted and pushed them ahead. The double doors closed on the boys and Minoru gave a sadistic smile as she rumaged through her bag of torture devices, or as some females might call it, make-up.

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Friday, January 25, 2008


The Mary-Sue Test for Naruto OC's!!

YOUR HAPPY BOX
GO AWAY
MY HAPPY BOX
WORLD DOMINATION PLANS
ALCHEMY BOOK
FAILED ATTEMPTS AT WORLD DOMINATION
BE MY FRIEND!
HELP ME PLOT WORLD DOMINATION!
Hello, I'm Dee, Pickle, Struddle whatever you feel like calling me. I like to draw,plot world domination, write, plot world domination, you know nothing unusual. Okay, so mabye I'm a freak, but I am NOT short understood? Good. I also like plotting world domanation, did I already mention that? No? Well I'll tell you again I WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!![insert evil laugh here]

Before you begin, this test isn't mine. I found it at http://www.animespiral.com/viewstory.php?sid=181960. Second, for those not familiar with fanfiction terms:
OC: Orginal Character, someone you created
canon: A person from the anime/manga
Mary-Sue: The most dreaded OC in fanfiction. As Wikipedia describes them "Mary Sue, sometimes shortened simply to Sue, is a pejorative term used to describe a fictional character,that is portrayed in overly idealized and clichd ways, lacking noteworthy flaws, and primarily functioning as wish-fulfillment fantasies for their authors."


The Naruto Mary Sue Litmus Test

Give yourself one point per yes answer unless otherwise indicated. Be honest if youre not, youll never improve. A few points doesnt necessarily make a Mary Sue. Remember that canon females can be turned into Sues as well. If youre curious about the Sue status of a canon character, either replace OC with the characters name or wait until a Canon Sue test gets put up. If you reach any variant of stop now, then your character is beyond hope and needs put out of our its misery. Said points have been seen more than once in known badfic and Sue stories already.

First things first:
Is your OCs name your name, your nickname, or your screenname? If so, stop now and delete yourself. Do not, do not, do not name your OC after yourself.

Is the OCs name one youd like to have?

Does the OC have an English/Westernized name?
Or a name taken from another anime or game's main characters?

Are they named after one of their parents?
Who happens to be another OC?
# If you name the opposite-gendered OC parent the same thing as the kid (NO, damn it, Itachi's mother's name is not Itachi), then stop here - at least until you find a Japanese name generator.

Does the OC have the same habits, hobbies, or interests as you? Interest in the Naruto series doesnt count.

Do you think that the OC can't possibly be a self-insert because they're more (fill in blank: intelligent, talented, beautiful, wonderful, overage, etc.) than you?

Do you take it as a personal insult if someone doesnt like your OC?

Is the OC described as exceptionally beautiful?
Would you like to look like the OC?
Would you want to be the OC?
Do you sometimes pretend youre the OC?
Have you cosplayed as the OC before?
Because you like them better than/think they're cooler than any canon character? If so, stop here.

If someone physically hurts or kills themselves because the OC is so beautiful, stop here.

Does the OC's physical description match yours?
Exactly or almost exactly? If so, stop here.

Have you drawn or commissioned others to draw the OC for you?
More often than any other character?

Did the OC fall from, step through a portal from, or otherwise come from modern times into Narutoverse? If so, stop here.
Youre still reading, arent you?
If the from-modern-times OC has knowledge of Naruto canon and makes use of it to their advantage, delete yourself.

If the OC is American or from another country that speaks something other than Japanese but, once inserted into Naruto canon, can suddenly and magically speak Japanese, stop here.

Does the OC have an over-the-top hair color or colors? For example, rainbow hair, silver (not gray) hair, black hair with purple and red streaks, green hair with blue tips, etc.? A point per hair color. Two more if their hair changes color.
Does the OC have waist-length hair or longer?
Does the OC have eyes of a color not found in nature?
Do the OCs eyes change color? Three points.
With their mood? Two more.
Does the OC's eyes have differently-colored rings?
Do the OC's eyes have stars, moons, or other odd shapes in the iris or pupil?
Does the OC have two differently colored eyes?
# If one eye is a Sharingan eye and the other is a Byakugan, step away from the computer. Now.

Does the OCs clothing have nothing to do with practicality, even though they claim to be a l337 an elite ninja? (Does it involve a tube top, a bikini top, a miniskirt, high heels, expanses of bare skin like you'd see in a club in a movie, fluorescent/shiny clothing while being tracked by ANBU, etc.?)

If you need to spend more than two consecutive paragraphs describing your character and/or their clothing, stop here.
# If its one gigantic block paragraph, you lose at the internets.
# If you don't know what constitutes a block paragraph, please stop writing until you learn.

Do you use the term (or a variant thereof) curves in all the right places to describe them?

Would you consider the OC sexy?
Do the canon characters?
Add a point if these characters find the OC hopelessly attractive:
# Neji
# Sasuke
# Gaara
# Orochimaru
# Itachi
Add two points every time the phrase (or a variant thereof) S/he didnt know why, but they couldnt stop thinking about (the OC) comes up.
Add one more if almost the only thing the canon character really can think about is the OC/sex with the OC.

If lust for the OC makes a canon character attempt to rape them, five points.
If the canon character succeeds, ten points.
If you think that it wasn't rape because the OC enjoyed it, even though they screamed, struggled, and/or said no, stop here.

Would you have sex with the OC?
# Two points if the answer is a variation of Yes, but they might kill me because theyre so powerful.
# Would the OC kill you afterwards because being an assassin/whore/combination of the two is their job?

Is the OC old but young in appearance?
Is the OC immortal?
Does the OC angst about being immortal?
Though much older than the canon characters due to their immortality, does the OC still have a romantic/sexual relationship with them?

Does the character return from a hiatus a summer, a few years of being missing, a time jump on the part of the author dead sexy?

Does the character return from a hiatus more powerful than anyone would have ever expected?
With a nickname?
Is the nickname in Japanese/does the nickname require a translation?
Does the translation make sense? Get someone to check. If youve mistranslated your characters own nickname, stop here.

Do people that ridiculed the OC before suddenly feel like idiots?

Does the OC have an amazing singing voice?
And dancing ability?
Do they show off at a talent show? Five points.
And pick up their love interest by doing so? Five more.
While performing songs that werent made by them? If so, stop here.

Does the OC have an outstandingly special speaking voice - especially melodic, seductive, etc.?

Is the OC especially proficient with weapons? A point for each weapon they're great with.
# Are they even though they said they aren't good with it?
# Are they even though they said they've never used the weapon before/aren't sure how to use it? If so, stop here.

Does the OC have an inhuman healing ability?
Brought out by their proximity to their love interest?

Relations/Interactions:
Does the OC become a fourth team member?
Is the OCs love interest a member of the team theyre on?
Is everyone else on the team either jealous or in love with the OC as well?

If the OC is inserted directly into Narutoverse canon and nothing changes around them - the introduction scene with Kakashi is still essentially the same, the first mission is the same, etc. - then stop here and learn to work on originality.

Does the OC claim to be too good to need a team?
Even though they were beaten down by another ninja and needed to be rescued in the previous chapter?

Is the OC there primarily to be the love interest of a canon character? If so, ten points.
# If you would want to be the OC primarily because of their love interest, five more.

Is any other, canon love interest of the canon character dealt away with or turned into a complete bitch/bastard in order to facilitate the canon character and OC forming a relationship?
If you insist that Sakura/Ino/Hinata/whoever was a complete raging bitch before, stop here.

Is the OC related to a canon character?
As their long-lost sibling? Three points.
As their long-lost twin? Five points.
Separated through a tale of angst and woe?

Is the OC the child of two canon characters?
Is the OC the child of two male parents? Five points.

Is the OC the child of a canon character and another OC?
The romance of which is detailed in another story?

Is s/he the other Uchiha that Itachi missed? Four points.

Does the OC win every battle they're in?
Except when the time comes for them to be saved by their love interest? (Three points.)

Does being around the OC and their exceptional beauty make at least one canon female character insanely jealous?

Does being around the OC make an otherwise intelligent canon female character act like an idiot? Watch/read the written part of the chuunin exams arc again if you need help figuring out that Sakura really is intelligent.

Does being around the OC make an otherwise intelligent canon male character act like a moron? See: Orochimaru, Kisame.

Does the story require that characters that dont go together at all within canon pair up, just to meet up with the OC? Examples include Itachi and Orochimaru, Gaara and Itachi, Sasuke and Itachi, - pretty much everyone but Kisame with Itachi - so on and so forth?

Does the OC bring religion into Narutoverse? Give yourself a point for each:
# The OC wears a religious symbol that doesn't fit into canon, like a crucifix.
# The OC uses the religious symbols to summon, perform a technique, etc.
# You, the author, mention the OC's religion.
# The OC mentions their religion to others.
If the OC converts anyone, stop here.

Does the OC reform a villainous/cold character?
And make them swear to stop killing people?
Does the villainous/cold character fall in love with them?
Is it Gaara?
Do you make Gaara cry, you dirty, dirty bastard?
And (pre-time-jump) seal or otherwise remove Shukaku so he can sleep/snuggle with your OC? If so, stop here.

Is it Itachi?
Do you make Itachi repent for killing his clan and pretend that hes sane and not beyond sociopathic?
Do you conveniently forget that hes a S-class missing-nin that killed his clan?
Is Kisame randomly kicked out of the picture (killed, put in a zoo, given another partner, etc.) to make room for the OC?

Does the OC make Sasuke give up his quest to kill Itachi?

Does the OC make Sasuke and Itachi see each other as brothers again and stop that silly revenge/smackdown business?

Does being around the OC make two otherwise canonically straight males suddenly realize and declare their love for each other?

Does the OC have the same name and general appearance as a canon male character, just with a female form, thus making a sexual relationship with another male character not as scary to you? If so, stop here.

Does the OC prove their strength/ability by beating up someone?
# Is the someone a strong canon character?
# Is the someone a random person that attacks them for no reason? Two points.

Was the OC Gaara or Narutos 'only friend' when they were a child? Five points.

Does the OC cut themselves?
# If it's from failed suicide attempts, three points.
# If the OC doesn't scar from the cutting, stop here.
Do they stop cutting when their love interest realizes it/tells them to stop?
# Are they cured from that point on?
# Are they cured after their love interest proves they really do care! by kissing or having sex with them? If so, stop here.

Does the OC convince someone else to stop cutting?
Someone that doesn't cut in canon?

Bloodline Abilities:
Does the OC have a new bloodline limit or ability that has never shown up in canon before?
Is it a bloodline limit or ability to completely pwn all others ability to copy other bloodline limits, ability to create an army out of thin air, ability to stop time, Kyukaku (the hybrid of Kyuubi and Shukaku), so on and so forth?

Does the OC mix bloodline limits already found in canon? Three points.
If the OC may use both the Sharingan and Byakugan at will, stop now.

If the OC may learn bloodline limits from a family not their own, stop now.

Is the OC a vampire? Three points.

Is the OC a dragon or half-dragon? Four points.

Is the OC a demon or a half-demon? Five points, but kudos for using monsters from the Naruto universe.
That thus needs Naruto or Gaara to understand them?
If the OC is a full demon, do they claim to be the mate of either Kyuubi or Shukaku? (Three points.)
Does the OC thus make either one, both of which are canids (in the dog family), purr? If so, stop writing and go learn some basic animal information.

Does the OC have wings/the ability to grow wings?

Can the OC fly?

Does the OC have cat/dog ears and/or a tail?
That dont detract from their beauty in any way?

Is the OC telepathic/telekinetic?

Can the OC change shapes in a way thats not henge no jutsu?
Is their other shape their 'demon's form'?

Can the OC talk to animals?

Does the OC have 'familiars'?

Does the OC have a special summon-animal?
Is it a white tiger? Two points.
If whatever it is strongly resembles Kirara from Inuyasha, stop here.

Attitude:
Does the OC act your age as opposed to theirs? Note that this question applies to younger writers that age the canon characters in order to facilitate sexual relationships, marriages, etc.

Is the OC frequently witty/does the OC usually have a snappy comeback that puts witty characters to shame?
Did the snappy comebacks come from Buffy or another television show?

Is your OCs attitude/speech/personality modeled after that of another character in a book or television show? Be honest.

Does the OC swear excessively as part of their cool or hard personality?

Does the OC try to teach generally uncaring characters manners?
And succeed?

Does the OC use the concept of chivalry and how guys should treat girls as a defense?
Against a canonically bloodthirsty and cold character that for all intents and purposes shouldnt care less?
And have it work?

Is the OC frequently concerned with their appearance?
At times when being concerned with their appearance should be secondary to a major problem going on within the story? Theyve been declared a missing-nin, the bad guy just kidnapped a canon character, the village is burning down, etc.?

Does the OC frequently talk back to authority figures?
And have nothing come of it?

Do all characters like the OC?
Except for characters you dont like?
If you like a character that dislikes the OC, does that character see the error of their ways by the end of the story?

If the OC is a foreigner, are they immediately accepted into whatever village they wander into?

Is the OC so nice and sweet that other characters hate them for it?

Is the OC so exceptionally badass that everyone's afraid of pissing them off?

Does the OC try to make Kakashi stop reading Itcha Itcha Paradise?

Their Past:
Does the OC have a traumatic past?
Give one point for any of these things the OC has suffered:
# Rape
# Abuse
# Sexual abuse
# Sexual abuse at the hands of a family member/caretaker
# Torture
# Years of torture
# Torture at the hands of at least one family member/caretaker
# Being orphaned
# Being orphaned because someone murdered their clan/family
# Being orphaned because Itachi murdered their clan/family
# Being kicked out of their village
# Having to grow up alone
# Witnessing their family members being killed/raped (two points if it's both)
# Finding out that Orochimaru was their father
# Teenage pregnancy
# Being pregnant to their rapist
# Miscarriage/having their baby die
# Never being able to have kids again as a result of a miscarriage/sexual assault
Four points if the OC's family members reject them for being attacked/being raped/cracking under years of torture/etc.; two if the OC simply never tries to go home because they're 100% certain their family will reject them.
Three more points if that's the last their family is mentioned.

Does the OC constantly bring attention back to their angsty past? (Ie: "I'd enjoy the sunset...BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE I'M IMMORTAL, OH NOES!")
Does the OC not react to their traumatic past in ways that a real person would? Do research on psychological scarring if youre not sure. No, psychological scarring isn't the same as wangsting.
# If the OCs family/clan was wiped out a relatively short while before, massive physical, mental, and/or sexual abuse wasnt a factor, and the OC blows it off or doesnt care, stop here.
# If sex is used to heal the OC after theyre raped, then stop here. You fail at being a human being.
# If the healing sex is with the person that raped them, then please kill yourself stop reading the bodice-rippers and look into getting some psychological counseling.

Does the OC claim to be from a new hidden village?
Does the new villages name indicate that the ninjas from there are exceptionally evil, badass, talented, frightening, or otherwise awesome? (Aka Hidden Village of Blood, Darkness, Dragons, Demons, Death, Sparkly-Poo, etc.?)
Does the OC claim to be the Kage of this hidden village? Three points.
Even though they were born in Konoha?
Are they Kage, not Gaara, and still in their teens? Three more points.
Or younger? If so, stop here.
# Addendum: Does the OC refer to themselves as the 'Hokage' of this other village? If so, you, author, are an idiot.

Has the OC attained the rank of genin/chuunin/jounin at an extremely young/exceptional age?
Does the OC refer to A or S-class missions as easy?

Has the OC ever refused to test or rank up, even though 'everyone knows that theyre ready to/capable?
Did you make up a title for them to signify this?
Is the title a word that dictionary.com says means something completely different?

Redeem yourself!
Does the OC have a physical/mental/social handicap? Being too sweet, too beautiful, too selfless, or immortal isnt a handicap. If you honestly say and believe this, stop now. Minus one if they do.
# Add one if the handicap doesnt hinder them the way it would an ordinary person. Do research if you're not sure about lasting effects.
# Add two if the handicap is only mentioned once and then disappears or is healed.
# Add three if the handicap is magically cured through the power of true love (or the healing power of sex) by the end of the story.

If a neutural beta that you can trust to be honest with you has gone through your work without mentioning any of the points from above, subtract a point. If they think a winged OC named Serenity Sparklypoo from the Hidden Village of Pookage is an original idea, you might want to look for a new beta.

If the OC is not the focus of the story introduced as part of a mission rather than a new main character, the story isn't through their POV the majority of the time then subtract two points.

If you as an author have gone back into your story to correct misspellings or discrepancies with canon, subtract two points. We might like you after all!

If your character still has reached a stop here point and you still insist theyre not a Sue, give those points right back.

~~~

So far, the tentative scoring system is this:

Under 11 - Not too bad! Most characters will score a couple of points - it's no big deal.
11-15 - Things are starting to get scary, but there's still hope for the OC's rehabilitation.
16-20 - You're in extremely dangerous territory, shinobi. Your character needs a severe overhaul, and may not make it out alive.
21 and over - If it looks like a Sue, and acts like a Sue, and comes up this high on the scale... Then it's a Sue. Sorry. I don't see how you missed any 'stop here' points.

Comments (7) | Permalink



Sunday, January 20, 2008


YOUR HAPPY BOX
GO AWAY
MY HAPPY BOX
WORLD DOMINATION PLANS
ALCHEMY BOOK
FAILED ATTEMPTS AT WORLD DOMINATION
BE MY FRIEND!
HELP ME PLOT WORLD DOMINATION!
Hello, I'm Dee, Pickle, Struddle whatever you feel like calling me. I like to draw,plot world domination, write, plot world domination, you know nothing unusual. Okay, so mabye I'm a freak, but I am NOT short understood? Good. I also like plotting world domanation, did I already mention that? No? Well I'll tell you again I WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!![insert evil laugh here]








Oujou XlX Chapter 2 XlX Matsuri



She could feel her eyebrow twitch with annoyance. For the love of all her sanity! She glared at him as he smiled up at her and handed her another empty bowl.
Another round of ramen, Dai-chan!
She took the bowl away from him. Her eye twitched as she turned to the stack of bowls he had managed to accumulate over his lunch break. There had to be thirty-five dishes piled up- - at least.
Naruto, she sighed, is ramen the only thing you eat?
He paused. Like he really had to think this one through.
Yep, pretty much, he grinned, Youre so lucky. You get to work with ramen.
She grabbed another clean bowl and began to dish out the knuckle-headed ninjas favorite food of all time as she shook her head, The job isnt as dreamy as it sounds.
The bell jingled signaling another customer. Dakirai raced to the front, Welcome tooh, its just you Katsuo. She growled and went back to filling Narutos order.
Nice to see you too, Dai, he took another puff from his lit cigarette and glanced around the shop.
What brings you here anyway? She hollered at him from behind the counter.
Oh, just to bask in your lovely company, his words dripping in sarcasm. Why do you think Im here?
She turned and handed the bowl to Naruto, Surprise me.
Katsuo took a deep puff in and held it in. It must be something bad, Daikirai concluded, he took that puff like it was his last.
Wellwe got another mission, he trailed off.
Well, thats not too bad. What are we doing this time?
He hesitated, I would prefer for the senseis to tell you.
She raised her eyebrows, What are we doing? she asked adding force to each of her words.
Katsuo shook his head, Not saying. We gotta go to the whole mission briefing thing in an hour.
Oh goody, now she got to debate about what mission they could possibly have. As long as it wasnt something so meaningless like babysitting or cleaning the river. Anything but that.

XIX

Okay.perhaps she overlooked this kind of mission.
C-could you repeat that? I have to wear what?! Kuro yelled placing a hand behind her ear. Misora and Aki were doubled over in laughter as they looked at their two friends and imagined them wearing a dress, a short dress for that matter.
Minoru, Team Threes sensei, smiled brightly as she held out four bright pink yukatas, You get to wear theses! She held one up against herself. They are a tad short but, hey, you got to keep the customers interest, if you know what I mean. The blond haired jounin winked and tossed them there new attire. Daikira jumped back, away from the uniform as it nearly hit her. Misoras landed on her head,
Who turned off the lights?! she screamed tumbling backwards.
Aki held the cloth in her hands and stared at Kuronekos sensei, What exactly are we doing? Just being waitresses at the Tanabata Festival?
Her sensei, Takumi, spoke up, Thats the role you will play. But really you are acting as spies.
You mean to tell me we are ninjas, masters of stealth and deceit, and yet we still have to wear skimpy clothes to get any information? Kuro raised an eyebrow and held the dress by her pinky, away from her body.
Minoru gave her an evil smile, Why of course. The best female spies were sluts.
Thats not true!!!! Tell her Dai!
Daikirai held her head in her hands. Actually, shes right, she shook her head, I wish she wasnt, but she is.
Minoru gave an in-your-face smirk before clapping her hands to gather there attention again, Enough with the chit chat! Go try your yukatas on! The blond head jounin held back a squeal and ushered them into another room.
Masuyo, sat down on one of the empty chairs and glanced at the rest of the teams. He seemed to be mentally counting how many there were.
Eight, he mumbled as he exhaled some smoke. He flicked some of the ashes from his cigarette and looked to, Isamu, Misoras sensei. Should we half-and-half it?
Isamu nodded, It would be less suspicious.
Ryuu looked to his sensei with a raised eyebrow, What would be less suspicious?
You boys will be working as well. Half of you will be waiters, and the other half will pretend to be your common festival goers, and ease drop on peoples conversations, he took a sip of coffee and looked at each of them, contemplating on who should be what.
Masuyo glanced at the sand nin in the corner of the room, I fear that Takeshi isnt exactly the festival type, he piped up in his hushed voice momentarily looking at his bloodthirsty student.
Takeshi smirked at the smoker with the same old sadistic look in his cloudy red eyes.
Dont look at me like you mama dont love you, son, Masuyo brought his cigarette up to his lips again.
There was a moment of silence before Isamu finally spoke with his decision, Okay; Kichirou, Ryuu, Hiroshi, and Osamu you all will be our waiters. Katsurou you will be socializing andas much as I know this will turn out to be a bad decision, he sighed, Kenji and Katsuo will be as well.
Kenji and Katsuo smirked at one another.
That means we get to flirt with the babes! They gave each other a high five. Isamu sighed and rubbed his temples, Please, at least try, to behave yourselves and keep your pants on.
Hey,hey,hey we only lost are pants once! Kenji began to defend himself.
Katsuo nodded, And that was because we were drunk out of our minds.
What minds? Osamu rolled his eyes at the local perverts. Kenji and Katsuo didnt catch his remark; they were distracted by the door opening. They started to wolf whistle and cat call as the girls stepped out. Osamu refused to look in the direction and yelled at the two perverts, telling them to behave like civilized human beings instead of hormonal animals. Ryuu tried not to take a peek at Misora, but failed, and ended up turning a beet red when his teammate, Katsurou caught him and nudged him in the rib cage. Hiroshi was controlling his sudden desire of reaching over and strangling the two perverts, one of them being his teammate. And of course Kichirou gave a dreamy sigh and mumbled something along the lines of; dreams do come true, before promptly fainting.
All men are dogs. Leg humping, tail chasing dogs, Daikirai growled.
Minoru baby clapped and bounced up and down, quite pleased with what she transformed the girls into, You all look so cut Her spurt of happiness ended when she saw her student walking out still wearing her pants underneath the dress. She glared,
So you think you found a loop hole in the system, dont you? Well youre wrong! She inspected the rest of Kuro, top to bottom, We are going to have to go something with these tips. It is distinguishable as your clan colors. And it clashes with pink. The chocker will have to go toas well as the pants. Minoru did a right face and stepped to her next victim.
The mask has to go Daikirai. Dai shook her head and covered it with her hands.
I cant take it off.
Why?
Daikirai paused, Because I have a really bad looking scar under it.
Let me se
NO! Its hideous.
Minoru sighed, You cant wear that mask and be at the festival. Itll be too suspicious.
Well, why doesnt she just go as a commoner and use a fan to cover her mask up? Osamu suggested. Daikirai glared at him when the blond headed women had her back turned.
Thats a great idea! She turned to Daikirai with a smile like the fox that just got the key to the chicken coop, And I can go with you to get a great yukata!
How nice, Daikirai faked a chipper tone.
The jounin then looked at the two other girls and beamed, You all look so beautiful! Youll be great waitresses!
Are you sure you want me to carry plates of food to people? Misora looked at her like she was crazy.
Yea, she cant even walk two feet without tripping, stumbling, or running into something, Aki explained.
The sensei paused and stared at the black hair girl quizzically.
HA! Do you have an idea for this one Osamu!? Daikirai snarled at her silver headed team mate.
He smirked, Actually yes, Misora could simply take orders instead of carry food. There would be less mess that way, he concluded with his signature move of pushing up his glasses.
Why.Cant.I.Ever.Win?!?!! Daikirai fumed and hit her head against the wall.
Because the universe and all of its inhabitants hate you, Daikirai. Even Katsuo could have told you that, he rolled his eyes at his female teammate.
Katsuo growled at the insult, Thats not very wise to say to your neighbor, moron. I know where you live.
Osamu winced, he had forgotten that little fact.
Alright, alright, thats enough. Listen up! Minoru clapped her hands sharply to gather the attention back to her, Now, we will meet up here at sunrise and make some changes so you dont seem sonoticeable.
Oh, oh, oh! Kenji bounced up and down in his seat, Do we get code names?!
Minoru nodded hesitantly, unsure of why Kenji was so excited.
He smiled a mischievous smile, Can I be, Stud Muffin?
Oh! I wanna be, The Sexy Beast! Katsuo sprung up from his seat.
The girls smacked there forehead and muttered. Minoru glared at them as Masuyo nearly choked on his cigarette as he laughed.
No! Minoru growled sharply and smacked them across there face. We will meet at sunrise and get ready; I will give you your code names then. You all are dismissed. She waved them off with the flick of her hand and the teams filed out discussing the events that would take place.
Takumi quietly began placing the chairs in their proper order as senseis chatted among themselves.
Dont the boys need uniforms too? Isamu raised a curious eyebrow and took a sip of coffee.
At the sudden mention of clothes Minoru lit up, Thats right! she did a small 360 degree spin on her tip toes. That just reminds me of this cute little outfit that Im just certain Ryuu would adore!
We want the boys to look civilized, not like pansies, Masuyo raised a hand to stop the chipper blonde from having a small seizure from going into hyper-drive. The fire was quickly put out in Minorus eyes and her lower lip curled,
B-but all the cute little outfits
Allow me to explain something, Minoru, when a guy wears pinkwillinglyit screams to all the other guys in a fifty mile radius Hey, you big hunk of man beef lets go prancing in a field full of daises.
Isamu watched as his friend gave the female co-worker a demonstration of what he meant, which included the high-pitched voice and a small segment of prancing.
There was a moment of silence between the senseis.
I-Im going to go shopping now... Minoru said with a slight studder.
Isamu stared at the floor, where there were shards of porcelain, from when he dropped his coffee mug during Masuyos performance, Im going to go with her. And you better not check out my butt as we leave!
The two senseis left before Masuyo even had a chance to think of a comeback. He put out his cigarette with a shrug, hey; at least he didnt have to go shopping now.
XIX

So, which one is her? A tall middle-aged man questioned the younger man that was peering down at four girls who were walking on the sidewalk below.
The young man shrugged as he scratched his head, Im not sure. I need a closer look.
Perhaps I could go down interrogate them, the older man interjected.
The teenager looked at him and held his laughter, Yea, Ryo, great idea. Then they would think you are some kind of pedophile!
Ryo frowned, And to do think you are any better! Look at yourself! You look like a clown compared to these people!
The boy looked insulted as he glanced at his outfit. His pants were made of the finest silk and were dyed a deep blue, his jacket was stitched with gold threading, his shoes were pointed and curled upward, Are you trying to insinuate that Im out of style?!
For this set of people, yes, you would be drastically out of style, Saburou.
Saburou huffed and crossed his arms, Well then, what are we suppose to do!?!
Ryo chewed on his toothpick thoughtfully, Well have to wait in till it gets dark. No one will be able to see us then.
Saburou sighed and plopped down on top of the roof, What time is it now?
About five oclock.
And what happens if I die of boredom before nightfall?
Then this mission is aborted and I get to go home early, Ryo replied with a chipper tone to his voice, Why do you plan to die of boredom, sir?
Saburou groaned and laid on his back looking at the sky, Not now. I would hate to see you go home early.
XIX

There was always something about mornings that made the four teams want to kill each other, well, uncaffeinated morning at least.
The four girls stumbled into the large office that their senseis shared when they were off duty or filling out paper work.
Osamu glared at them from one of the tables, You all are exactly one minute and forty-three seconds late.
Kuro lazily turned her head in his direction, You know what, bite me.
I wouldnt want to; you havent had your shots yet.
If you two dont shut your traps now I will seer your mouths closed, Masuyo snarled as he fumbled with his lighter and unlit cigarette.
There was silence again and everyone had nearly fallen back into there comatose state before Misora sprung up,
Coffee! I smell coffee!!!
The double doors busted open only seconds later with Minoru beaming with her morning person attitude and several cups of coffee on a large tray.
How are my favorite people on this beautiful morning?! She smiled and gave a small skip to each table, handing the students and senseis their daily dose of energy. Minoru laid a mug down on the table for Daikirai as well, without even realizing it.
Aki, Misora, and Kuro looked at Dai from the corner of their eyes, with the temptation of coffee, perhaps Daikirai would take off her mask. Dai stared down at the mug, sneering, as if it was taunting her.

( See I added a page worth of updates! ^^ And guess what! I actually wrote more (but I'm not gonna post it because I am mean and need it just incase I get lazy and need something to post later! Ta-ta!)











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Sunday, January 13, 2008


Sorry guys

YOUR HAPPY BOX
GO AWAY
MY HAPPY BOX
WORLD DOMINATION PLANS
ALCHEMY BOOK
FAILED ATTEMPTS AT WORLD DOMINATION
BE MY FRIEND!
HELP ME PLOT WORLD DOMINATION!
Hello, I'm Dee, Pickle, Struddle whatever you feel like calling me. I like to draw,plot world domination, write, plot world domination, you know nothing unusual. Okay, so mabye I'm a freak, but I am NOT short understood? Good. I also like plotting world domanation, did I already mention that? No? Well I'll tell you again I WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!![insert evil laugh here]

I'm not gonna be writing for a while...Sorry I'm just depressed thats all. I got Word to work.

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Thursday, January 3, 2008


Masuyo scares me!

YOUR HAPPY BOX
GO AWAY
MY HAPPY BOX
WORLD DOMINATION PLANS
ALCHEMY BOOK
FAILED ATTEMPTS AT WORLD DOMINATION
BE MY FRIEND!
HELP ME PLOT WORLD DOMINATION!
Hello, I'm Dee, Pickle, Struddle whatever you feel like calling me. I like to draw,plot world domination, write, plot world domination, you know nothing unusual. Okay, so mabye I'm a freak, but I am NOT short understood? Good. I also like plotting world domanation, did I already mention that? No? Well I'll tell you again I WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!![insert evil laugh here]








Oujou XlX Chapter 2 XlX Matsuri



(A small little tid-bit of the story that I managed to type up real quick. I no longer have the writers block from H-e-double bendy straws. I should probably be able to think up stuff during clubs! ^^)

Alright, alright, thats enough. Listen up! Minoru clapped her hands sharply to gather the attention back to her, Now, we will meet up here at sunrise and make some changes so you dont seem sonoticeable.
Oh, oh, oh! Kenji bounced up and down in his seat, Do we get code names?!
Minoru nodded hesitantly, unsure of why Kenji was so excited.
He smiled a mischievous smile, Can I be, Stud Muffin?
Oh! I wanna be, The Sexy Beast! Katsuo sprung up from his seat.
The girls smacked there forehead and muttered. Minoru glared at them as Masuyo nearly choked on his cigarette as he laughed.
No! Minoru growled sharply and smacked them across there face. We will meet at sunrise and get ready; I will give you your code names then. You all are dismissed. She waved them off with the flick of her hand and the teams filed out discussing the events that would take place.
Takumi quietly began placing the chairs in their proper order as senseis chatted among themselves.
Dont the boys need uniforms too? Isamu raised a curious eyebrow and took a sip of coffee.
At the sudden mention of clothes Minoru lit up, Thats right! she did a small 360 degree spin on her tip toes. That just reminds me of this cute little outfit that Im just certain Ryuu would adore!
We want the boys to look civilized, not like pansies, Masuyo raised a hand to stop the chipper blonde from having a small seizure from going into hyper-drive. The fire was quickly put out in Minorus eyes and her lower lip curled,
B-but all the cute little outfits
Allow me to explain something, Minoru, when a guy wears pinkwillinglyit screams to all the other guys in a fifty mile radius Hey, you big hunk of man beef lets go prancing in a field full of daises.
Isamu watched as his friend gave the female co-worker a demonstration of what he meant, which included the high-pitched voice and a small segment of prancing.

Isamu shall never be able to erase the mental images that have been branded into his eyes. Masuyo did that too well.











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Wednesday, January 2, 2008


About the story....

YOUR HAPPY BOX
GO AWAY
MY HAPPY BOX
WORLD DOMINATION PLANS
ALCHEMY BOOK
FAILED ATTEMPTS AT WORLD DOMINATION
BE MY FRIEND!
HELP ME PLOT WORLD DOMINATION!
Hello, I'm Dee, Pickle, Struddle whatever you feel like calling me. I like to draw,plot world domination, write, plot world domination, you know nothing unusual. Okay, so mabye I'm a freak, but I am NOT short understood? Good. I also like plotting world domanation, did I already mention that? No? Well I'll tell you again I WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!![insert evil laugh here]

So, after about the 28th message I being to worry about you all. Yes, I had some of the story complete, but as I began to re-read it I noticed how unrelistic it was, so at about 3 AM I deleted all of Chapter 2...
Then at 12 the next day I screamed, relizing what I had done. So I had to retype what I had printed of of Chapter 2(that would be up to the Stud Muffin part). That is why it is taking so long, not only that but I am trying to work out the bugs in my story that are irrating me. Forgive me. ^^' Gomen! I will work on it during school, I promise.

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Sunday, December 23, 2007


Who's who, what team you're on, and code names

YOUR HAPPY BOX
GO AWAY
MY HAPPY BOX
WORLD DOMINATION PLANS
ALCHEMY BOOK
FAILED ATTEMPTS AT WORLD DOMINATION
BE MY FRIEND!
HELP ME PLOT WORLD DOMINATION!
Hello, I'm Dee, Pickle, Struddle whatever you feel like calling me. I like to draw,plot world domination, write, plot world domination, you know nothing unusual. Okay, so mabye I'm a freak, but I am NOT short understood? Good. I also like plotting world domanation, did I already mention that? No? Well I'll tell you again I WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!![insert evil laugh here]








Oujou XlX Chapter 2 XlX Matsuri



Okay, so as I have been working on the story, I relized what a unorganizied mess it is for someone to read it. In the first chapter I talk about some teams randomly, but I never tell you who is on what team. Then in Chapter 2 I introduce everyones sensei's. Aggh, so many characters right?! So heres a more organized list of who's who's and such.
xX Team 1 Xx
Sensei- Takumi
Students- Aki
Kichirou
Takeshi

xX Team 2 Xx
Sensei- Isamu
Students- Misora
Ryuu
Katsurou

xX Team 3 Xx
Sensei- Minoru
Students- Kuroneko
Hiroshi
Kenji

xX Team 4 Xx
Sensei- Masuyo
Students- Daikirai
Osamu
Katsuo

xXOther Characters thus farXx
Oorochimaru
Kabuto
Souzousha
Kentanka (R.I.P He's dead)
??? Dude with the granade ??? (Who cares about his name, he's dead too!)

And you also should know, that in Chapter 2, a majority of the characters will have code names in order to keep there identity secret from festival goers. So here is the list of code names that I'm to lazy to type in the story. I'll go in team order.

Aki- Ayame
Kichirou- Kichiro
Takeshi- He doesn't get a code name. He will be part of security around the festival bounderies.

Misora-Manami
Ryuu- Ryou
Katsurou- Katashi

Kuroneko- Kiyoko
Hiroshi-Hirote
Kenji- Kenshin

Daikirai- Rin (There were no female names that started with D on the site I was on!)
Osamu- Nori (Osamu was the only male name on that site that started with O!)
Katsuo- Kazuo

Sensei's will not recieve code names. And yes, I am working on the story, but I won't post intill I finish Chapter 2, so nyah! :P










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