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Tuesday, January 10, 2006


   CHOBITS!!!!

Dear Friends,


i'm watching cohobits right now
and
LMFAO!
it's so flippin funny!
i love it!
thank you soo much
Sholagan
WEET WOO!

oh yeah
here is another thing
what happends 5 days from now
huh?
i am asking ya that
woot
so yeah.....
well....
yesterday nothign happened.
it was such a boring day
*cries*
i have such a boring life
lol
yeah...
actually something didi happen
i got into a buig argument with my step dad
over dinner
i was cooking last night
and he kept giving me crap for not doing it the right way
the thing was i was making something diffrent that what he thought i was
i was making chilli
and yeah...
he gave me crap for not seasoning the hamburger before i cooked it
and i told him i didn't learn to do
it that way
and so he was like
do it that was
and so i was telling him to let me do things my way
that i wasn't some little kid and that i can do things on my own
then he was like it's always yer way!
yer way or the high way!
lmao
but yeah...
he got pissed at me
and i was telling him
i 'm like GOD! i didn't learn to cook that way
just let me do what i'm used to!
then he asked me wher ei learned and i told him
MY DAD
then he was like
listen to me i have been cooking longer than you
have
i told him that i knew that
but i knew what i was doing
*flarg*
he pisses me off!
then everyone in my family was like wow Roiben
this is really good
and all he has to say
is i don't like it
it's not spicy enough
so that pissed me off
and yeah..
i'm so glad that i am moving now
i get to get away from him!
*cheer*
before the concept seemed stupid but hey i've warmed up to the idea...
slowly
tho
i don't wanna move and not go the the same high school as a bunch of my freiends
butmy mom
gave me this lecture on how
we would be splitting up anyway
and that if i didn't i would just
be trying to live for the moment
and not for the future.
at first i was pissed
i told i'm a kid i should be able to live for the moment
but then she told me that i can't do that forever
and that got me thinking
....
wow that kinda got depressing fast
*tear*
sorry for thhat

i was surfin' the net
most of the whole
day
trying to fix
my site
and alll i put up was a story in my intro
it's my favorite lines from ECHO
so yeah...
hopefully yer guy's days will be better
than mine yesterday

~ROIBEN~


Comments (5) | Permalink



Monday, January 9, 2006


hey there theme change

Dear Friends,


well i am sitting here wasting away...
and i think that i am gonnna change my site theme
but this time i cam not changing it to an anime or video game
i am gonna change it to a fit one of my favorite books
Echo
by
Francesca Lia Block
well i am gonna change it later to day
so when youu see it please tell me whaat you think
kk
and i am gonaa keep my site that way for a couple of days
please tell me what you think of the theme
cu zif no one likes it i thin
that i am gonna change it
so yeah..
you guys have to tell me what you think of the theme

well other than that nothing is new
just rotting away here surrounded by book
yeah
i'm a book worm
tee hee hee
well i better go to get working on mt theme
ttyl


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
well hey there
i am back
and no luck
i couldn't find any good BG pic that were big enough
oh well i think though
that i will
cange the pics in the side of me post box

may be i don't know...
or maybe i'll just keep my site the way it is and change my intro thingy
yeah.. i think i am gonna do that
lol
man i shjould learn to make up my mind hey

lol
sorry for that



~roiben~



Comments (4) | Permalink



Sunday, January 8, 2006


   The Silence In Black And White

Dear Friends,


hey there!
OMFG!
i went to the comic store yesterday and i freaked!
THEY HAD KINGDOM HEARTS!!!!!!!!!!
gwee
i have been reading it over and over again
(yeah iam a little freak-o)
but yeah....
i also got
Hanna-Kimi 8&9
(which i love so much)
yeah...
i'm a nerd.....
but holy man i mean i was flippin out
after i bought it i was squealing all the way home
lol
and for those that have heard me squeal
you guys know how annoying it can get

on friday i spent the night at
MoonOfDarkness' house.
lol
it was funny
we were talking to SummerBaby10
on the phone and it was funny
lets just say that me and
MoonOfDarkness think alot alike
it's actually scarry
well yeah....
well i have to go read some stories...before the person that wrote then naggs me
*shakes fist at person*
*evil glare*
you know who you are


lol
JK

well
talk to you guys later

*waves*

~ROiben~



Comments (8) | Permalink



Saturday, January 7, 2006


   i am back and for good!

Dear Friends,


well as yo can see i am back!
*cheers*
lol
i had fun though i saw some very disturbing things
first of all i saw my kitties
i love them but it was ewww
i walk into the barn to go feed them
and it is like a kittie porno movie being filmed
it was so gross!
and it was so scarry
man i never want to see that again
*stabbs her eyes wif forlks*
ha ha
there i shall never be ableto see it happen again problem solved!
then my aunt and i were sitting on a chair together
and
she decides that she is gonna feed me
so she is shoving carmelpopcorn twists in my mouth
and she is shoving like ten at a time
so i was tellingher that i need to che on them so she said okay
andstarted to shove twitce as much
so i shut my mouth thinking that that would solve the problem
but then she decided that she was
going to shove them up my nose
after that
she tossed them back in to the bowl
EWWWWWWWZ
lol
i luff my aunt
guess how old she is!!
Guess!
FLIPPIN 40

yeah and she is the best
i mean you know who parents are always like DON"T Do DRUGS!
and stuff like that
she is the total opposite some what
i mean she still tells me not to do them but
atleast she tells me that she actuallydid them at one point in her life
i was talking with her
andout of nowhere
she was like
i hace done CRANK (meth)
and lets just say it is the worst drug out there
hurts whenyou do a line and you hurt after
ahe was telling me about all o these stories andsuch
and i was like wow
then she was telling me that if i wanted to get a tatoo the places where it hurts the most
andsuch
and how it is permanent
i mean she is awsome is can be really serious but she can see stuff from my point of view
andwell yeah....
as you can see i have changed my theme
and well i hope you lik eit
yeah i have already used it but meh
lol
well tell me bout yer guyses new years!
i so wannna know!
and well yeah................
i'msorry that this post was so....
somewhat long
and well
i guess that i will talk to ya later
.....
i'm happy to be back
though i smelllike smoke
BLECK!
and yeah



TTYL




~¢¾ROIBEN¢¾~
lmao




Comments (12) | Permalink



Wednesday, December 28, 2005


i am some what back

Dear Friends,


well hey there
i am just dropping by
for a wee bit
i get to go bowling today!
*claps hands*
lol
i get to throw a ball and hopefully it won't hit anyone
mind ya with my luck i don't think that that is gonna happen
X6
well yeah...
my christmas was good
and so was my boxing day
i finally have
Hawthorne Heights and
My CHemical Romance
stuff
lol
well yeah
i have to go
sorry that i can't visit anyone's sites today
tell me everything bout yer holidays!
please
and
welll
ttyl


Comments (6) | Permalink



Thursday, December 22, 2005


   maybe music isn't dead. maybe we just for got what the F*CK it sounded like....

Dear Friends,


well hey there,
this could be my last post for a while.
i am leaving tomorrow
to go to my dad's
for both
New Years and Christmas
so i shall be gone
for a weeee bit
lol
^^
welll yeah...
as of now i am listening to
one of my fave bands
ALEXISONFIRE
*runs around screaming*
lol
well yeah...
today was okay.
nothing happened to piss me off.
lol
i spilled my fruit cup all over my seat and i had to go clean it up.
it looked like a dog went and pissed on me
lol
but yeah...
hum....
i did a math test and i actually knew
everything that was on it so i am happy about that.

then yeah...

tomorrow is a half day for me
so i am gonna go over to
Moonofdarkness' house
cuz she is having a party.
Yayz
lol
well
yeah...
it should be much fun!
i can get to see her little bro's
PHSYCO DANCE
again!
lmao
it is so funny!
and stupid
i love it

well i will be gone for a bit cuz as most of you know my dad
doesn't have internet
but i will be back before January 15th
lol
i have to be back before then
lol
well yeah..
if i do get on i will check as many sites as i can
please don't be mad if i don't stop by your site
for a while.

OH
AND IF YOU DIDN"T GET THE E-CARD IF IS IN THE LAST POST


so yeah...
well i shall be off now
have a merry christmas
and a
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
lol
yeha...


TTYL






~ROIBEN~




Comments (7) | Permalink



Wednesday, December 21, 2005


   I like yer shoes too

Dear Friends,


LMAO!

well yeah...
i am in a really moody once agian today.
it is actually quite funny
well to day i had a person that i
use to be friends with
call one of my friends a fag
and well
i was almost ready to jump her and rip out her hair
lmao

well yeah...
i 'm glad that you guys liked my story
and well
yes...
and to answer Veda's
question...
i do have a gift for all of youz!

here it is



well yeah..
it's not that special
cuz i don't have stupid photoshop
lol

well for the Pic here is the
URl
and
yeah,,,,,

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y131/midnight__girl/Kysha/Xmas.jpg


well i shall try to get to everyone's sites today.
and well
ttyl
i guess


lol


~ROIBEN~



Comments (5) | Permalink



Tuesday, December 20, 2005


do you? do you?

Dear Friends,


well i am sitting her eworking on my story
and my little bro is being an ass..
yeah...
lmao
well
for those who didn't read the story and want to it is in my last post\

well yeah...
so humm..
i'm bored.
i handed out christmas gifts today.
and yeah...
well this is gonna be a short post

lol
bye bye


Comments (4) | Permalink



Monday, December 19, 2005


   i'm starting to fashion and idea in my head.

Dear Friends,


well hey there,
i got in sooo much shit yesterday
over the most stupid thing.
i was trying to tell my mom
that she didn't pay for my bus pass yesterday
and well we started to argue
then i got crap for talking back
and yeah.
then my step dad
who had nothing to do with the argument
came in and was like
"ROIBEN! Shut the hell up! you have no i dead what the hell you are talking about! stop arguing like a little bitch and go to yer room! i don't want to see eyer face! get out of my site!"
i gave him a dirty look
"NOW!"
lol
it was funny when i got to my room i was laughing my head off
and i got shit for that
then well yeah...
i was listening to Three Days Grace
up in my room
and i got in troblue for having it too loud
and then yeah..
well that was pissing me off tho
my SD had nothing to do with the argument!


ohhz i got to see Summerbaby 10's
new hair doo!
it ish cool i luff it!
*runs over to her house and strokes her head*


I GOTZ ANOTHER E-CARD!
i feeel loved!


Thanx KittyKatAngel
... also sorry bout alll the times i creeped you out on MSn!


FOR YOU WHO DIDN"T READ MY STORY HERE IT IS!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Short Story: Last Chance Beauty
When I was little my hair would create deep black swirling pools, as my pure white summer dresses would flood over my feet. My aqua blue eyes knew nothing about what the world had in store for me. When I was little I was too innocent for my own good. I had this idea that every family was perfect (even mine, with my absent father) and that everyone had a happy ending. When I was little the world…my world was different.
The screaming neon flashes attempted to drown out the wild, flashing, pounding dance music. I could barely breath. Even if I could I wouldn’t want to the air smells of sweat and alcohol. My lungs starved. They were scratching at me from the inside pleading for me to fill them. My head was pounding as liquid scars poke at the corners of my eyes. The screaming lights faded, as the music became monotone, then an endless rhythm of misplaced beats. My mind was still racing.
Beyond the monotone I heard a voice.
“Get up! Can I get some help here?! Crap! Will someone help me NOW!”
Everything picked up. The music flooded my ears and the lights began to pound and scream again. My blood shot eyes opened.
“Hey you’re up.” The voice calls
I looked up to see a girl my age, golden eyes reeking with innocence. The girl helps me up, tells me that her name is Nevin and offers me a ride (I guess she figured I was drunk). I take it. Nevin with her “Goldilocks” hair, weaves in an impossible maze of rights and lefts then more rights to get to my house. I got out of the car, which smelt like pine air freshener and thank Goldie for the ride. I tell her that my name is Emogene. She gives me a shocked stare. All I can do is smile back walk into my house and crawl silently into my bed, which I do. After all I’m use to getting looks.
I remember I couldn’t wait till I get to read the newspaper the following morning. The heading is probably something like “Teen model Emogene Davis, gets high and seeks into club before passing out on dance floor.” Long, horrible, daunting and yet funny. I couldn’t wait till I got to the photo shoot that day. Screaming was all a girl like me needs. I could just picture how my manager, Cindy was going to react. She’d throw one of her famous fits before threatening to cancel the shoot –which I know she wouldn’t do-, then she’d storm off in a huff and not talk to me for an hour or so. During that hour she’d probably call a few tabloids and tell them the story –even though they have already heard it- and scan the contents of my dressing room, just to see if I have anything hidden from her. Which I do, but I wouldn’t hide it in there. I may be a model but I am not stupid.
Walking down the cool damp pavement of the alley right behind the building where the photo shoot is being held, I stopped for a moment. I made sure that the coast was clear and that I was all alone. It was and I was. I reached in to my purse and pulled out a tiny container. I flipped the cap open and poured a line of the jaundice yellow powder on a scrap piece of cardboard that I had found in the trash.
Back 3 years when I first picked up my addiction, it was so easy to reach the high. I would only use it as a “pick me up” for when things got too hard to handle or as a way for fast weight loss, for those magazine covers where only string bean models could make the cover. Then when my mom discovered my habit and kicked me out it became a daily thing. My mind was screaming Increase, more. I listened. I inhaled hard again and again. Until I felt as if I had made up for the lack of air I caused my body the night before. I packed up my kit and walked to the shoot.
I flung open the door and gracelessly waltz in. Cindy is there ready to greet me with a famous rant. She goes on about how I am an hour late and how there is this new girl. How I should show her the ropes. I could truly careless at the moment.
Stumbling in to the bathroom I heave. My hands wiped the bits of half digested muffin off my face and splashed my face with water, when the door opened. I shut off the water and dry off my face. In walks Goldie. I figure that she is the new girl. Talk about coincidence. I never figured that I would see her again. She smiled at me knowing that she had caught my eye. She didn’t say anything though I knew that she wanted to. Instead she gazed in the mirror that lay above the sink. I copied her.
In the reflection I saw everything that was wrong. I was a fake. My image was created by my mother and enhanced to a point by my addiction, the addiction that was slowly bringing it down with a horrifying crash. I was too skinny and too pale. I had a beauty that no one wanted the beauty of a meth addict.
I needed to get out. I needed to go somewhere I could restart my life. Without having to ever face the evil horrid monster that was my addiction again. I needed to come clean and stay that way. There was only one place that came to mind. I sprinted out of the bathroom and out to the front. Cindy grabbed my by my arm and asked me fiercely where in God’s name I thought that I was going. I answered back that I was quitting and that I really meant it. I picked her hand off my arm and walked off. My mind was begging for another trip. Another high. I wouldn’t do it. I couldn’t. I tore a piece of my t-shirt off and shoved it in my mouth. My mouth was sore. I was clenching too hard but I would do anything to keep myself from taking another trip with my addiction. Once I had reached my house I ran in without thinking. Grabbed a bag and filled it to it’s rim with clothes, then filled my pocket with gas money.
I hopped into my car and sped down the road. The distant city lights became a whisper of what was to be my old life, as the country started to engulf what was to be my new. The wind streamed through my hair as the gravel would pelt against the side of my convertible. As the colour changed form industrial grey to apple orchard green I realized that I was that much closer to reaching my goal, but once I pulled up on the doorstep I started to have my second thoughts.
It took me what seemed like forever to sum up the courage to walk up the steps. Then it took even longer to knock on the door. Once I did, I felt as if I should run back into my car and drive away. Then the door opened. And I felt as if my feet were glued to the floor. Through the mesh of the door I saw the outline of my mother, and the years if loss and the years of missing her rushed through my mind all at once. I could feel the years of heartbreak that she must have felt when she kicked me out.
It didn’t take long for my mom to forgive me for what I had done, once she had heard that I was trying to turn my life around. It hasn’t been easy but I have been trying my best. I haven’t gone back to the city for almost 3 months now. I’m scared that if I do I might get caught up in the model image once again. I would love to give you a happy ending now, but to tell you the truth I am not sure where I am going. All I know is that my addiction was a gift hidden in sorrow and mistake, whose lessons I will never forget. To come out over top of it was an opportunity that hopefully no one else has to face. Maybe when I was little I was to innocent for my own good, but now I am starting to believe that it wasn’t as bad as I made it out to be. I’m starting my life over once again form square one. That is why I am here the place that I grew up. This time though I have learned from a mistake that I never hope…want to make again. I am a proof that a person can turn their life around. Proof that anyone can do this. I know that my addiction will always be there in the back of my mind waiting till I am weak and ready to give up. But I hope that with my new found will power and support of my mother that time will never come.


lol well i hope that you liked it
also wat do you think of the title?
if you come up with a better one please tell me!
thanx!


~ROIBEN~


Comments (4) | Permalink



Sunday, December 18, 2005


   i wish i didn't go to my dad's

Dear Friends,


well yeah
i really didn't.
i found ouot that a relitive is being
charged with Sexual Harrasment.(sp?)
and then i had my grandma breakdown in my arms.
then i spent the night crying
i'm such a baby.


well here is the short story i am working on for LA
please tell me what you think about it

Short Story:
When I was little my hair would create deep black swirling pools, as my pure white summer dresses would flood over my feet. My aqua blue eyes knew nothing about what the world had in store for me. When I was little I was too innocent for my own good. I had this idea that every family was perfect (even mine, with my absent father) and that everyone had a happy ending. When I was little the world…my world was different.
The screaming neon flashes attempted to drown out the wild, flashing, pounding dance music. I could barely breath. Even if I could I wouldn’t want to the air smells of sweat and alcohol. My lungs starved. They were scratching at me from the inside pleading for me to fill them. My head was pounding as liquid scars poke at the corners of my eyes. The screaming lights faded, as the music became monotone, then an endless rhythm of misplaced beats. My mind was still racing.
Beyond the monotone I heard a voice.
“Get up! Can I get some help here?! Crap! Will someone help me NOW!”
Everything picked up. The music flooded my ears and the lights began to pound and scream again. My blood shot eyes opened.
“Hey you’re up.” The voice calls
I looked up to see a girl my age, golden eyes reeking with innocence. The girl helps me up, tells me that her name is Nevin and offers me a ride (I guess she figured I was drunk). I take it. Nevin with her “Goldilocks” hair, weaves in an impossible maze of rights and lefts then more rights to get to my house. I got out of the car, which smelt like pine air freshener and thank Goldie for the ride. I tell her that my name is Emogene. She gives me a shocked stare. All I can do is smile back walk into my house and crawl silently into my bed, which I do. After all I’m use to getting looks.
I remember I couldn’t wait till I get to read the newspaper the following morning. The heading is probably something like “Teen model Emogene Davis, gets high and seeks into club before passing out on dance floor.” Long, horrible, daunting and yet funny. I couldn’t wait till I got to the photo shoot that day. Screaming was all a girl like me needs. I could just picture how my manager, Cindy was going to react. She’d throw one of her famous fits before threatening to cancel the shoot –which I know she wouldn’t do-, then she’d storm off in a huff and not talk to me for an hour or so. During that hour she’d probably call a few tabloids and tell them the story –even though they have already heard it- and scan the contents of my dressing room, just to see if I have anything hidden from her. Which I do, but I wouldn’t hide it in there. I may be a model but I am not stupid.
Walking down the cool damp pavement of the alley right behind the building where the photo shoot is being held, I stopped for a moment. I made sure that the coast was clear and that I was all alone. It was and I was. I reached in to my purse and pulled out a tiny container. I flipped the cap open and poured a line of the jaundice yellow powder on a scrap piece of cardboard that I had found in the trash.
Back 3 years when I first picked up my addiction, it was so easy to reach the high. I would only use it as a “pick me up” for when things got too hard to handle or as a way for fast weight loss, for those magazine covers where only string bean models could make the cover. Then when my mom discovered my habit and kicked me out it became a daily thing. My mind was screaming Increase, more. I listened. I inhaled hard again and again. Until I felt as if I had made up for the lack of air I caused my body the night before. I packed up my kit and walked to the shoot.
I flung open the door and gracelessly waltz in. Cindy is there ready to greet me with a famous rant. She goes on about how I am an hour late and how there is this new girl. How I should show her the ropes. I could truly careless at the moment.
Stumbling in to the bathroom I heave. My hands wiped the bits of half digested muffin off my face and splashed my face with water, when the door opened. I shut off the water and dry off my face. In walks Goldie. I figure that she is the new girl. Talk about coincidence. I never figured that I would see her again. She smiled at me knowing that she had caught my eye. She didn’t say anything though I knew that she wanted to. Instead she gazed in the mirror that lay above the sink. I copied her.
In the reflection I saw everything that was wrong. I was a fake. My image was created by my mother and enhanced to a point by my addiction, the addiction that was slowly bringing it down with a horrifying crash. I was too skinny and too pale. I had a beauty that no one wanted the beauty of a meth addict.
I needed to get out. I needed to go somewhere I could restart my life. Without having to ever face the evil horrid monster that was my addiction again. I needed to come clean and stay that way. There was only one place that came to mind. I sprinted out of the bathroom and out to the front. Cindy grabbed my by my arm and asked me fiercely where in God’s name I thought that I was going. I answered back that I was quitting and that I really meant it. I picked her hand off my arm and walked off. My mind was begging for another trip. Another high. I wouldn’t do it. I couldn’t. I tore a piece of my t-shirt off and shoved it in my mouth. My mouth was sore. I was clenching too hard but I would do anything to keep myself from taking another trip with my addiction. Once I had reached my house I ran in without thinking. Grabbed a bag and filled it to it’s rim with clothes, then filled my pocket with gas money.
I hopped into my car and sped down the road. The distant city lights became a whisper of what was to be my old life, as the country started to engulf what was to be my new. The wind streamed through my hair as the gravel would pelt against the side of my convertible. As the colour changed form industrial grey to apple orchard green I realized that I was that much closer to reaching my goal, but once I pulled up on the doorstep I started to have my second thoughts.
It took me what seemed like forever to sum up the courage to walk up the steps. Then it took even longer to knock on the door. Once I did, I felt as if I should run back into my car and drive away. Then the door opened. And I felt as if my feet were glued to the floor. Through the mesh of the door I saw the outline of my mother, and the years if loss and the years of missing her rushed through my mind all at once. I could feel the years of heartbreak that she must have felt when she kicked me out.
It didn’t take long for my mom to forgive me for what I had done, once she had heard that I was trying to turn my life around. It hasn’t been easy but I have been trying my best. I haven’t gone back to the city for almost 3 months now. I’m scared that if I do I might get caught up in the model image once again. I would love to give you a happy ending now, but to tell you the truth I am not sure where I am going. All I know is that my addiction was a gift hidden in sorrow and mistake, whose lessons I will never forget. To come out over top of it was an opportunity that hopefully no one else has to face. Maybe when I was little I was to innocent for my own good, but now I am starting to believe that it wasn’t as bad as I made it out to be. I’m starting my life over once again form square one. That is why I am here the place that I grew up. This time though I have learned from a mistake that I never hope…want to make again. I am a proof that a person can turn their life around. Proof that anyone can do this. I know that my addiction will always be there in the back of my mind waiting till I am weak and ready to give up. But I hope that with my new found will power and support of my mother that time will never come.



sorry this post was so long


~Roiben


Comments (3) | Permalink

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