Tuesday, March 8, 2005

   hey
well i won't be able to update for awhile cause well my finernet isn't working....*sobs* sooooo anywho well *cough cough* jamie is still mad at me and we sorta split the bond between us....sooo until he calls me back or sumthin we're not goin out or anything....wich is okay because i have ally and jeen until then ^^ teehee well imma split for now

aishitimasu
sam
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Wednesday, March 2, 2005

   wooo
updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!updating!!!!
sam
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Saturday, February 26, 2005

   so very tired i am
i'm so friggen tired *yawns* well i finally got my damn picture from brandon who's picture i shall also post because i'm an ass like that ^^


me! i look all sad and shit.....damn



sarah! the chick who's hair i dyed, imma have to get a better pic of her...


there's brandon ^^ ain't he a cutie?
uhmmm well imma send more prolly whenever brandon gets back from the store....so see ya then
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   i don't like to update
i honestly do not like to update. I'm waaaaay too lazy ^^;;;

Well i have another picture, it get's my face alot better and what not. I just need to get it back from sarah.
Idyed her hair blue, without gloves on......and now i have blue hands...Everyone thinks i gave a smurf a handjob....tsk tsk *sighs*

I can't visit purga's page anymore..well atleast when no one's home. Cause my friggen compooper is out in the living room and everyone can see considering how large my monitor is *sighs*

well that's all for today...
love
sam
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Thursday, February 17, 2005

   woot
I have pictures and quizzes for all of you!!












Exotic Dancer!


What was your job in a past life? (LOTS of results & Anime Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

The bad girl.


Who exactly ARE you? (AnImE PiCs)
brought to you by Quizilla

It may not seem like much between you two but,
it's coming around soon. Just look at him and
his flaring eyes. It shows that he's cool and
hott. He also took you to the park. Just for
you and him. None of his friends:) It's love
alright.


Who's Perfect For You??? (Cute Anime Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Your a Winter. Your playful and joyful about
mostly all the time:) You love to lie in the
soft white blanket of snow. The cocoa is just
right it's hot but, not too hot. Perfect for a
wonderful winter girl:)


What Season Are You??? (Amazing Anime Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

You are a flute. You are social and like to take
your chances. You like to spread your wings and
expirience new things. You are high in spirit.
You also like to talk to many people about your
views.


(BEAUTIFUL anime pics) What is your soft toned intrument?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are a hopeless romantic like me. ^_^ You dream
about whoever all day (rarely anything else);)
Don't worry it's not a bad thing believe me. So
what's holding you back! Go get 'em!


*UPDATED* What kind of love are you? ( COOL anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

You like the trouble making types.


What kind of guy are you most attracted to? (CUTE anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
well i is done....tell me what ya think?
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Thursday, February 10, 2005

   tired tired

Comments (1) | Permalink

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

   Wooo
YAY! I'm back back back from the grave grave grave....Did y'all miss me? Well i sure as hell missed y'all! ^^ Since i missed all of you so much i will demand that each of you write a five hundred word essay on how your winter vacation and new years was!! ^^;;; i hope everyone had a wonder vacation and new years..I didn't have a good one but i guess i can't complain!

I cut my hair off....It's really short now @.@ I also met brandon's uncle,albert, and damn is he hawt.

It doesn't work out though because i like him alot but i know he doesn't like me in that way. But all of my other friends like him and he's just gettin AAAAAAAAALLLLLLL the attention! *growls* oh well....no tears on the face of Sam 2!

Did i mention i met another Sam?!?

She's really cool and likes to set things on fire. I wanna get a picture of her but i'm too lazy to develope my film She also likes albert. But that's okay. Since she's my sempai i call her Sam 1 (thing 1) and i'm Sam 2 (thing 2)

I gots alot of stuff for x-mas. More than i imagined ^^

What did y'all get for x-mas?????


OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!! Story time!!

Bloody Knees

A ferocious blush crept upon my cheeks as i lost myself in your warm embrace. I could smell year old Axe and ciggarette smoke on your dirty shirt. I always enjoyed the way you smelt though. It gave me a feeling of warmth and forgiveness. It makes me wonder how forgiveness fits in there.
That was the last day i got to make fun of you naturally flippy hair. The last day i got to dig my face into your hair and nibble on the back of your head. The last day i was allowed to hug you close to me and dream of something i could never really have.

It was all the same. I'd walk over to my bestfriends house after school against my parents will and hang out for awhile. I never really did stay out late until the day i started to follow you. That didn't matter much though...What i remember most was standing at the corners with Brandon, Sarah, Courtney, and Courtney's Little sister Ciara... We'd just stand at that corner and talk for the longest time....ten or maybe even fifteen mintues at a time. One time we stood there and just talked for twenty minutes and didn't go home until are shoes were soaked and squishy from the rain that pelted our dyed heads. It was all fun for me....and hopefully it was fun for them too.

I'd always get into trouble because of staying out too late. My dad thought i was doing drugs, smoking, or screwing you and your brother. Nah, that was the last thing i'd ever get to do.....excluding smoking....We'd just sit around, listen to music or watch Brandon get his ass kicked at final fantasy eight.
It was fun, most of the time if not all the time.. The days when sarah came over were even better. Even though somewhere withing my scarred chest i felt a slight pain that knawed at me. I felt lonely somehow, like i was lost and no one cared enough to look for me. That was just how i reacted in a way to things. I was going through alot at the time and couldn't do much about it. I just wanted someone to stand there and hold me for hours and hours.....that's all i really wanted.

There was even that time when i sat on Brandon's bathroom floor and cut my left arm up. That really irked Sarah. I was a bitch for doing it too. I could've waited until i went home to do it but i just had to do it then...there. That's what really set me off....Because i was a selfish bitch and didn't care about her feelings much less anyone else in that house. It wasn't too long after that when Sarah cut my hair for me...I just had to have it cut....it was killing me...

As i was walking home that night the same exact thought crossed my mind. The same exact image in my head. A cold stiff dead body that was placed inside a satin lined coffin. Half open even though his face was half mutilated. I didn't care much to tell Brandon that Kevin had been dead for quite sometime. It just didn't seem necessary. But what bothered me most was how you reminded me of him. sure brandon had the looks of him and the voice......but you had something else....the scent the characteristic...Even your smile reminded me of him. I know he did a bad thing to me....i mean, how could i still love him even after he raped and inpregnanted me? Even then, i still understood how much i loved him when i lost him.

I remember that night, the night i was informed he was dead. It was just after the first day of school. When i found out i didn't know how to react. So i just ran....i ran and ran and ran for miles and miles...Didn't stop to wait for the blurry lights from cars and buildings to focus in. Not for the old passerby who couldn't find his way. I didn't stop until the air in my lungs gagged me. As i belted over on my knees i let out a gasp. I was holding back hot tears the entire time i was gone.....wich could've been and hour....I just sat there...allowing the glass to dig into my knees...in the middle of a busy sidewalk on the strip...I just sat there and cried.....i cried and cried until my eyes were raw from the salty substance. All i remember was my mom taking me home after that..

That night that Sarah cut my hair.....i felt that pain return..Just as i was about to turn the corner into my small little coldasack...I felt my feet race after something. I was running again. My short black hair beat against my face and i ran. Ran past the park, past the old woman's house who had a stroke last saturday...Passed the place where i first met Kevin...This time....i stopped when i felt tears gushing down my face. The scars on my knees started to throb with the pain of a thousand tears....I fell again and allowed the torn scraps of metal and glass.....the tiny pebbles and acorns..dig through my denim jeans wich already had holes in the knees...And sat there.....crying and bleeding for hours and hours...

I know this may sound stupid...But i never really did find it inside me to say that i didn't care. I guess it's cause i really don't sometimes.....But when it comes to you....i think i could only wish that i didn't really care....

Tell me what you thing of my story about what happened over winter break, k? I hope to talk to y'all later! love love kisses hugs!

aishiteru!
Sam2
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Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Hi....
Wow, i know it's been awhile. Sorry i haven't updated. Everything's a big mess and i'm really really confuzzled @.@. I'm in a bit of a tangle (as usual) and don't know how to untangle it...*shrugs* i'll find out how to eventually.

I had a really nice weekend. I spent the night at brandon's house, wich is very nice when it's clean (wich is usually never) this is gonna be a really short post cause i gotta leave soon. Sorry if i don't get to everybody's sites. I promise i will eventually! ^^;;

how is everyone? i missed you all SO much...*sighs* well imma split now. Aishiteru! LOVE

-sam
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Sunday, December 5, 2004

great
My seventh grade english teacher once told me that it helps to write your stressing thoughts down on paper or tell a friend or sumthin like that....you know?
well i'm going though a hell of alot right now i can't keep track of what's going on. I got a call at mari's house from my own telling me that my nan's in the hospital and my mom had passed out from loss of blood and was onm her way to the emergency room. i can't handle this anymore. My dad says to sit stilla dn don't do anything. Stay at mari's and calm dowen it'll be okay. I cann't fuckin belvie him! he's a fuggin prick and deserve to die. the wounds on my left arm are startings to burna and are reopening again. Whyd did this all have to happen in the same day. It's not like i try so hard and strive to a poinit to achieve everythjing i can but it all seems so goddambn worthless in just once instant. Someone please help me, i can't sdtand this anymiore. all i wantyed was to eb a normal teenager wityh aa njormal life but it all changed on fahters day when i was fucking raped. it's not my fault that i can'tcontrol the universe. it's not my faukt that i can't control people. but why does this have to happen? i can't do aynthign and i constantly feel like i'm fallnig. i think i'm inlove with brandond but he's a guy and he's gay. i can't do this anymore it's just noit right. i ened to stop this and stop it now. please...i just want saome help is all....
Comments (6) | Permalink

   My compooper died
*sobs* *sniff sniff* My compooper died on me. I'm at mari's house now....*glares a fingers* It's hella cold in here.
Naru naru-kun ^^ I missed him...i hope purga's happy now....i missed purga...i missed all of you T_T

I went over to my brandon's house friday. I Dyed his hair black an now he looks like druid...
(bleeding edge goth doll)

I'm really tired, my hair's in pigtails....i'm wearing lime green fishnet...I have the words i miss you carved into my left arm. And i'm going through music withdrawel.

We're s'posed to go to hot topic today. I'm not sure if we'll get to though cause we need a ride and her mom's not here....oh well....

I worked my ass off for $25 on thursday. I cut grape vines got bit by a spider raked up slimey leaves and got my newest outfit completely slobbered over.

Brandon looks like kevin. I nearly cried when i saw him with his finished hair. Brandon could never go out with me....not like i'd go out with him anyway. He has tyler and no one else. It just pains me to see the similarities between him and kevin...

I cried while listening to malice mizer last night...It reminded me of mikey...whom i hate.....not really...i still love him. But it just made me sad imaging riding in his hoopdee of a car down a road enclosed by towering rustic trees. Whilest listening to SHiroi on full blast.... It makes me sad just to think of soemthing that i can never have...

Well i'm sorry. I bitch too much.....hell i even bitch about bitching and it fucking pisses me off...Sorry guys...i'll get back to you whenever the hell i can until then...Aishiter and goodbye....

-sam
(ps: Gackt won hottest jrocker....here's this weekends character spotlights...)


Sakuya Kira



Kira Sakuya is Setsuna's best friend and also apparently he is the Seven Blades (Holy Sword). He is very close to Setsuna and has a key part in the anime. Apparently, he traded his human form as a child to save his father from the pain he caused him, and his mother is deceased from a car crash that her and Kira got into when he was young. About once in the anime you see Kira's young boy form. Kira also wears an amulet filled with blood which seems to hold his life. He is immortal because of Roseil's blood spilling on him in a holy war. He drinks and smokes and womanizes.
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