Thursday, September 1, 2011

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Thursday, September 01, 2011 Hello. It seems no on really comes here much, and apparently I am no exception. Sorry. In general I have not been very active on theO or myO or any websites. I only check emails twice a week and update my stores. Aside from that I am offline or doing other things. I have been either busy or sick a lot and even now I still am. I am not sure when I will get time to visit and post frequently though. Anyways hopefully in the future I will be able to come here more. So on another note I will talk a little bit about what I have been up to. Since July I was diagnosed with scoliosis. I gained some weight. I started watching Korean dramas, Hello! Miss, Damo, Lie to Me, and Scent of a Woman. I also started reading new manga and manhwa like Yeonmo, I.N.V.U, Rise of the Nura Clan, Shaman King Remix, and some more that I can not remember at the moment. ^^; I also have been doing better with selling online and my sister moved to Boston to studying her Masters Degree. I am currently finishing my GED and will be applying for scholarships. Then I will studying my Bachelors next spring. That is about all that happened recently so until I have more time take care, bye~

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Wednesday, July 6, 2011

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Wednesday, July 06, 2011 Hello. It has been a long while since a myotaku update. Sorry. I have had a lot of things to do and very little free time to think freely. So to catch everyone up, health has no improvements, I gained some weight so my bmi is normal, I am still in school but almost done only a month left, I have a lot of work to do, and that is about it. Yeah pretty much nothing changes for me, I only get sick or too busy. ^^; but it is not to say some things in life haven't been good. For off I am no longer love stricken, yay~ I currently have no worries in regards to the opposite sex which is very liberating. As for my future with a man I leave it up to my dear mom who plans to arrange my marriage after I finish a bachelor's degree, which will be in 3 years. [Per my request of course.] In other news my older sister is going away to boston to study for my BA, MA, and PHD. In that looooong order =_= umm... if it makes her happy I suppose? Though she is leaving me here in florida all alone ;_____; I was super pissed and upset about that but I know her and I know she does not want to be around me and is very happy to leave so I just got over it, though there are lingering feelings :( On another note I have been busting my ass off working online! DX eBay, ecrater, and livejournal, I even tried cragslist [though only once, it was a dead end =.____=;]. On my eBay store I manage to make about $25 - $70 per month, which is like NOTHING and I need more money. Ecrater is my main store but I am barely make $20 every 3 months for there. *sighs* I advertise like hell on facebook but I seriously NEED more customers D: I try selling whatever seems popular but seriously people are CHEAP! -___- I will die broke I just know it... and I does not help the I really do need money, not at all. (So if you pity me at least buy a $1 bookmark ;___; this includes shipping. Every dollar counts.) Now aside from my pathetic issues the reason that inspired me to make a post today, aside from finally having free time, was I got a promotion on theOtaku to the status of “Otaku Eternal”. :D That is so amazing! And sadily since I am offline a lot I did not notice until one week after I was given this promotion! DX I need to be more aware! The notice sent to me from theO: Congratulations! You have been promoted to Otaku Eternal status. This unique position lets you CUSTOMIZE your own title. Your name will soon appear in a promotions news article on our Official World. Thank you for your deep contributions to our community and we hope you bring honor to the reputation of otaku everywhere. - "Bossman" Adam” ^^ Yaay~ Although I do not know what title to give myself? Any ideas? Although I will probably just leave it as is, I do not feel like getting creative eand putting something stupid -.- cause at the moment nothing too bright comes to mind ^^; Well nothing much else to say so please take care, bye bye~!

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Monday, April 11, 2011

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Monday, April 11, 2011 Hii. It has been a very long time since I wrote a post on theotaku or myotaku. I’m sorry. Although by now I’m sure everyone that reads my posts knows this. . . I hope everyone that follows my e-cards on theotaku and my friends online are doing well. I have not been online for a while mostly due to my health, as well as monstrous amounts of real life issues and work. For the past few months I have been struggling with financial problems with my medical insurance, government insurance nonetheless. Finally it has been settle and earlier this month I saw a doctor, a new doctor that is. As I have mentioned previously my old doctor whom I trusted very much, lied to me and failed to help me recover from my illnesses as well as numerously misdiagnosing me and gave me strong and dangerous medications that were very ineffective, due to our many issues [as mentioned] I finally stopped seeing him. My new doctor is a woman, [my mom and I chose her] and she is a lot better at diagnosing me. Tomorrow I will be going to a GI doctor to check out my stomach. Hopefully this doctor will be helpful. Lately I have grown very weary and mistrusting towards doctors. . . *sighs* Anyways in addition to being occupied with my health issues I have a pile of high school work that never dies down DX I have four months worth of school work to finish by the end of May 2011. I only finished my math work today =//= I also and half way through my history, literature, and creative writing classes. Sadly ever if I keep up with my current pace it only means I always am busy busy busy x.x it is rather never ending :| Although it is fine, since after this year I will be done. ^^ Only issue is college =.= I am against it VERY much but my mom will not budge =.= so I have gotta find something. . . as long as I get a damn degree she will stop bugging me. So this means online college *_* although it pisses me off that I will have to study more -.- plus almost all online college do NOT give the student financial aid DX but I told mom I will only go to a school if, 1) no stupid teachers 2) no stupid people & 3) I am left the hell alone =.= Umm tis is why I do so well with home schooling ^^; Because I am alone~ I am very fond of my peace and quiet, I do not want others to bother me =w= Lately I just want to be alone. By myself, in silence. It is sort of like being a hermit. I like it this way too. Which is probably why I am not as motivated to talk to people lately. . . I know it seems like I am being unpleasant but I just do not want to talk to anyone. . . I just want to not have to talk, at all. Unless I need to say something I just want to be left alone. I am not upset or depressed or angry, I am fine, emotional that is. I just like being alone right now. I wonder if saying this is a bad thing though? *sighs* Well it is late and I have to be in bed now, bye~

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Tuesday, January 4, 2011

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Tuesday. January 04, 2011 Heyy. This is going to be a short post (maybe?). It has been a few months since my last post.  I am sorry. I also have not comment since summer (?) and rarely made any e-cards or anything on theO. Most of you know I have been seriously ill and my closer friends know the illness and what has been happening with me. I did not reply emails, IMs, PMs, or any messages other then texts. I hope to reply them soon, so please be patient if I did not talk to you in months; it is not by choice honestly. So to give a brief update on what has been going on with me; - found out my illness (GERD, turned worse, now a hiatal hernia, getting worse, did not get treatment because my doctor misdiagnose me with anorexia, I changed to a new doctor, could not get medicine because Medicaid would not pay until now, to be continued...) - my favorite black platform sandals finally broke on me and now I have to were a new white pair which I cannot seem to adjust to (I felt inclined to mention this... ^^’ ) - finally read Rurouni Kenshin the manga, which I have been putting off for 6 years because I only finished the anime last summer ^^; - after two years, I can watch Vampire Knight without crying :O (cause… you guys know about that reason if you kept up with my dramatic (o.o or something along those lines?) posts in late 08’ - 09'.) Which is great because it is in ENGLISH!!  I like VK for years btw, when it originally came out in English, I was a Shojo Beat! girl~ ^_^ - found a new obsession with Johnny Depp cause’ I saw Pirates of the Caribbean (1-3) now I want to see his other movies - can no longer eat wheat foods, so gluten free diet for me T.T (rice anyone?) - is very frustrated because of the lack of Zetsuai fandom, (isn’t this an old issue?) I cannot get over it… ^^; ppl are too unfaithful... - put up a purple Christmas tree that I bought the day after Christmas, it is a long story ^^; but I love it! - lost 25 pounds and is now 124 lb Okayy, so I think that is all? ^^; Probably not even close to what’s been going on but I cannot think of anything else ;___; Anyone can ask me stuff if you want. Anyways more recent updates. Lately because now I am all skinny, well skinny in the sense that only a few months ago I weighed 150 lb, and was a size 18/20 women’s and now I am 124lb and a size M, 12, I find it very annoying putting on my clothes. I mean first off I was all set with my outfits and customized my clothes to fit me, my tights to tanks, to fishnets, to ripped jeans, and my dress omg! DX It is a nightmare! I cannot fit into anything x____x it is hell!! My jeans slide right off my ass! My tights are too loose, Dresses make me look pregnant! @_@ I will got nuts trying to fix this! All I can wear are t-shirts, sweats, and my dresses (even though I feel like I am being swallowed). Keep in mind I only own one pair of sweats, which are 9 years old, and so busted out homeless ppl ask if I need money! (Seriously. O-O) Plus I am waaaaaay too broke to afford a new set of clothes, considering I carefully spend my money on fake, knock off clothes for the past 5 years, in hopes to build my perfect wardrobe with all my style outfits T_T. It sucks! There is an option to “sell” my clothes, yes… but sadly, I have this problem, were I cannot . As I am a pack rat person therefore my junk is mine alone ;___; I love my crap even if I cannot wear it!! (I am a hopeless pack rat ~////~;). Sooo um… what to do? Possibly, investing on a sewing machine or begging a tailor to save my clothes? Although this mean I would need to learn to use a sew machine ^^; and I would have to save money x_x another challenge! *sighs* Enough about my clothing dilemmas~ Moving on to a more serious topic (although that was serious… sort of.) Ummm well this post just turned out really long btw ^^; sorry! Hmm… idk what to say o___o; I am rusting with posts y’know. I started watching Naruto again,  I finally got to the new episodes! Although I am waaaaaaaay behind! But I will eventually catch up? (Like I did with Rurouni Kenshin ^^; only 8 years... but I did it!) There’s also Bleach T.T Will I ever see all these amazing anime before I die? (Me at 92 still finishing Bleach  It can really happen that way!! D:) *falls over* Lets hope my future won’t be so pathetic! Ohhhhhhhhh! I remember what I have been dying to rant about! Vampire knight! Omg! First off, incest is NOT the worst thing that could happen. Second, this is a shojo and drama, so of course when the author makes it screwy you cannot just get pissed over it. Seriously, a few weeks ago I am ordering my Vk manga and some fans are bitching about how it’s getting darker and Yuki being a vampire is what is ruining the manga! DX WTF?! We all knew Kaname and her were gonna end up like this! I am only on vol.5 but (due to the events of 2008, of course) I knew it too. *scoffs* Fans are totally awful sometimes =___= They did the same thing with Zetsuai! And you know what, this is not even half the melodrama of Zetsuai, or even Kiss Me Princess, hell not even as bad as Junjo Romantica [for other fans sake lets all just say I am not the biggest fan of this manga, and this is as nice as I will be about it.] *pissed of glare at Vk fans* Ppl these days… =__= they just cannot appreciate a good drama… I also had the urge to bring up the .hack trilogy but I will hold off for another day. (you’re welcome?) But I still do not like how G.U. ended! D: It was just too stupid for words, and I am really hating that Blackrose & Kite are not re-appearing! I will leave it at that. For all of you reading this keep in mind I am just being petulant and complaining about manga. Well enough rants for today. Let us talk about my day. All I did was cook gluten free vegan biscuits, and tilapia fish sausages. I made black bean soup yesterday, which I may eat tomorrow. Because of my illness whatever I eat, I throw up. It is of course not my choice but with an ill stomach, food does not like staying in. I keep with a simple and easy diet of pudding, soup, cereal, and gelatin foods. I have been trying to cook more foods that I can eat, such as Thai, Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean and Nepalese foods. Some recipes I like are Sel roti, douha, bahn xeo, and gamjajeon. They are mostly made from soy, potato and rice. I also bought Krupuk, or a type of Indonesian shrimp cracker. It has been oddly interesting cooking new foods, I also tried making Akki roti, and Neer Dosa, which failed horribly. o_o; I don’t want to try those again. ^^; I also tried mochi, which is yummy but I bought mini mochi, which is a bit too chewy. I learnt how to bake fish and chicken so I stopped frying foods. I even went to a Whole Foods Market and bought a new soy cheese and silk soy yogurt. I admit the soy cheese I bought was so awful! DX I love Tofutti cheese a lot more but the brand is so hard to find -__-; I miss my cheese! I made my own cheese at home though. I tasted good but not really cheesy like tofutti, more like a new cream sauce. Which for now will do ^^. I can eat it with potatoes or with a spoon. (Even though it tastes cheese less it is yummy ^//^.) Alright well I got to go now, and I may not be online til Feb or later, I am too behind with school, and I need to graduate THIS year, and I might be in the hospital this Friday, I do not know yet. So take care and bye~

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Friday, November 12, 2010

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Friday, November 12, 2010 Hello, everyone. It has been a very long time since I have been online or active on websites and my emails. I have also been absent from work, and school. As most of you know, I have been incredibly sick. Over the past two months, as well as the last 13 months, I have been struggling with various illness and lifelong illness. During these past two months, however these illnesses became very serve and at one point deadly. I have been absent because I developed a series of sickness, ranging from mild to extreme. They were a combination of, food poisoning, eating disorders, allergies, sinuses, asthma, anemia, GERD, gallbladder diseases, UTI, common cold, flu, mental illness (anxiety, phobia, panic attacks, nervousness, etc), and muscular and organ damage. Throughout all of this, I went to my doctor very frequently, and spoke with several other doctors and pharmacists. I took very painful medications, including steroids that damaged my chest, throat, and sternum for two weeks, so badly that I could not lift, move, breathe, eat, or bend without extreme difficulty. Even now, I am still in pain and on painkillers (6 pills per day). I cannot even begin to explain the literal hell I went through while I was offline and honestly, I do not want to retell it at this time. The amount of physical and psychological trauma I went through I hope no one has to experience. All I can say from all of this is that while going through this milestone of sickness in my life I feel a sense of strength I never had before. I used to feel like I could depend on others to protect me from all the bad things in this world, and I never thought I would really experience pain to such an extent. But after going through what I did and feeling such complete loneliness and having so many stages of depression, and mental disorders, and mood swings, I feel very content with how I overcame it and finally broke free from my own misery without hoping someone else would rescue me from it. However I do admit my mom was there for me a lot, even when it felt like I was alone or she was mad with me, she still stuck by me when my sister and father left me to literally die out. Right now, I am still not completely better, and my recovery will be slow, but I will come back online. I hope everyone is doing well, and I am truly sorry for missing so many important events that happened while I was gone, and for the events that may happen later on if I am still offline. Take care, bye.

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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

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Tuesday, October 26, 2010 Hello. Well I have not posted here since the ninth. I am sorry once again. Actually, the reason for this is that I was offline a lot two weeks ago. Then last week I became very sick. My gastroesophagus reflux disease, or GERD, asthma, sinuses, and anemia was so horrible I was almost hospitalized and I almost had to have my throat cut. It was a very awful and terrifying experience… I cried a lot while being sick. Not because of the pain, but because my own sister refused to take me to the hospital on Sunday. Luckily, I am alive now and managed to see my doctor yesterday. For the past five days, I did not eat food, because I could not swallow. I only took down a little bit of liquid. I had a fever, was faint, dizzy, and extremely weak. When I went to my doctor yesterday, he did a full diagnosis on me. He checked my lungs, heart, blood sugar, stomach, and we even discuss some of my psychological problems and phobias. But yesterday was such a horrible day. Since my dad drove my mom and me to my doctor, he fought so awfully with my mom until she cried. Then he yelled at me the whole car ride there. When we go there, he just dropped us off and left. The doctor appointment was the best part of the day. My doctor is such a nice guy. He is like the father I would have loved to have. He took me off two medications that increased my anxiety and mental problems. But he gave me a high dosage on my GERD medication, randitine, and a new medication for my asthma and allergies, it is really strong and toxic if taken for more than 5 days, so I need to strictly watch this drug. I also got an injection, which did not hurt until this morning and it left a dark bruise. It hurts a little. He also pricked my finger, that does not hurt, but it left a mark because my mom pricked me at home the night before 10 times. ^^; She worried when I almost passed out… Anyways, back to the awfulness. After the doctor appointment, my dad came so late to pick us up! One hour later! He is such an asshole. I mean I am sick and my wheelchair mom is in need for her heart medication and he takes his fucking time to come for us. =_= I was so pissed! My mom had a panic attack out side the doctor’s office, it is a big building and I was very weak and could not push her back. She did not want to move either. Plus this stupid lady was smoking in the hallway and it pissed me off more cause there is a sigh saying no smoking! Ppl really are stupid -___-. So to wrap up yesterday’s events. When dad finally came for us, he and mom fought again. He then bitched at me and left. My sister came home and took care of my mom while I drugged myself and slept. Now for today, it was better. I managed to eat some tofu [homemade with gelatin so it was very soft], bread, and crackers. I tried eating potatoes, but my body is not ready for it yet. Maybe tomorrow or next week. I checked my emails, which were a lot! Then I cooked some lunch for my mom, red beans and rice. I made chicken curry yesterday. I will make dou fu fa tomorrow. My shoulders and upper back hurt so badly today. I cannot even stand or raise my arms without feeling pain. My mom rubbed some muscle reliever cream on my shoulder but it did not help. I took some Tylenol too, but no improvements. Hopefully it goes away on its own tomorrow. Anyways I am off to try to eat then maybe watch the last episode of Why Why Love, Taiwanese drama. I still did not finish seeing Robbers, Korean drama, because it is so sad. Maybe I will watch it this week. Bye~

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Saturday, October 9, 2010

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Saturday, October 09, 2010 Heyy. So I finally managed to make a weekily post! Yaay~ First off I want to say I am doing a challenge for Breast Cancer Awareness Month , please enter if you can, I really want a lot of people to join. Now then, this week has been busy with school. I also was updating my online store. Now we offer custom printing ^_^. So today's events. Well least begin with yesterday. I made dau fu fa, or soy pudding. It turned out amazing, and delicious! I love it. If you event ate vanilla pudding, it’s like a slightly lighter version, really nice taste. It is not a heavy food so you can eat it whenever, but it is made with soy milk so it is filling, which is awesome so you do not eat a lot but feel full. Anyways, today my big sis was not home from 6 a.m. to 3:40 p.m. cause she had tests to take. That means all day I was free from her! I got up around 8 a.m. this morning, which is too early for me to eat, I eat according to my drugs, which means 11 am. While I wait for breakfast time, since I do not eat dinner anymore, usually I just eat jell-o or apple sauce or crackers at night, I was planning to do some studying. But I really did not want to =___= I mean really first thing I do, empty stomach is history?! Now way DX. Instead I went to make caramel syrup for my dau fu fa! I was going to make it yesterday but I burnt the first pot and then I cut my left thumb and index finger ;___; It takes awhile to make the syrup so while I made it I talked with my mom about random stuff, and then when I finished, mom and I ate sweet dau fu fa together and talked again lol. My mom and I talk pretty openly. Our morning breakfast are fun ^_^. Then we made a grocery list, add up the costs and such. Afterwards around 1 p.m. we fell asleep! xD I was tired and drugged. So was mommy ^^; She got up an hour before me, so when sis came home she woke me ;__; But after my nap I made bake potatoes for lunch and watched the movie Killers. Then I came online ^_^. Pretty decent day~ Now I am off to read posts, comment [maybe], and eat diner. Bye bye! @corn: I am home schooled and taking so many classes because of a bet I made with my mom. ^^; it’s kind of complicated… o.o; @DarkWolfDemon: Yeahh, my writer block is slowly going away. What do you like cooking? =3 Anything you are really good at?

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Monday, October 4, 2010

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Tuesday, October 4, 2010 Hii. So I was trying to post on the 2nd but the internet cut off for about one and a half days, then it was all weird o-o. Good thing it’s working alright now. Anyways, today was pretty okay. My days are usually just ok. Things that happened since my last post: - my dad went to Pakistan for my cousin’s wedding, he left last Thursday and will return the 14th. - busy busy and even more busy with school! It is really just a lot of work! This year my dear mom gave me the lovely challenge of doing 22 subjects! Meaning about 1,000 pages per textbooks times 22! Hopefully she accepts my C’s with a smile lol [although this is rather normal for me o.o that work load… not that C’s XD although…~] I tend to be a lower aimer with education, but people seem to have higher expectations for me -. - I got writers block, expect it’s like bipolar cause it is off and on with me! DX I want to type!! - I have been rather lonesome lately but I have no time to have a social life either~ Hopefully my friends do not think I am some crappy bitch that just abandons ppl ;___; - I have been doing a ton of cooking - My asthma is a bitch and I hate my lungs! Stupid cold weather… - I saw the Back Up Plan with J-Lo, and I am going to see Porco Rosso this week. - An evil roach was stalking me in my house for two days and this morning my sis squished it! ^_^ - I saw another rat last night. It was the size of a football! Okayy, so umm that is everything I can think of to fill you in xD Today I just cooked red beans and rice, cleaned the kitchen, hung out with my mom, argued with my mom, then we both fell asleep while sis was at college, then I did some school work, and came online to pay bills and check emails ^_^. Now I am off to check my emails once more and maybe study a little more or eat dinner. I hopefully I will do some typing for my book around 10 p.m. it is currently 9:35 p.m. Bye! @Angel Zakuro: I know about Stepping on Roses xD. I knew about it around 2008 when I read Tail of the Moon. I really like it~ But I forgot all about it until you left the comment two weeks ago, thanks for the reminder ^.^ It is still ongoing though ;_; And I read it all… I decided to re-read Kiss Me Princess [yaoi]. Read it if you haven’t it’s all licensed too ^_^ under Tokyopop.

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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

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Wednesday, September 22, 2010 Hey. It has been awhile since I posted here. Sorry. I have been busy with school or recovering. This will be a quick post. I am doing a little better now, eating a few meals and overall I will be okay. School is a pile of work x.x I need to study more! I have work too but I am okay there. I have been too busy to watch the final episode of Robbers, a Korean drama, so I hope on Sunday to catch up. I also want to watch Bleach. I am thinking of buying the rurouni kenshin manga, maybe just one or two volumes for now. I also have been reading a few manga lately, all pretty dull or stupid -_- or bad endings… I need something better to read, but Nabari no ou is too time consuming to DL and Bronze is 15 per manga! So I will just have to wait~ Anyways this is short, I need to do some typing before 12:30 a.m. and it is 11:49 p.m. My personal life has been off and on okay. Fighting here and there nothing too horrible. Will try to post more details next week. Bye.

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Monday, September 13, 2010

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Monday, September 13, 2010 =//= Hello. It is only 12:42 a.m. however I am suppose to be in bed since 10 p.m. However due to unexpected illness and medication I am staying up for a good 5 more minutes. *yawns* So since my last post many painful, physically, event occurred. I cannot remember the exact order however so bear with me. ;___; First earlier this week, I think around Monday or Tuesday o.o I was cleaning out my hosiery box, it is this big, 22 inches high by 12 inches wide storage box (something around those measurements...), and it would not close. -___- umm I own over maybe 20 pairs of tights, leggings, thigh highs, etc, so it is a challenge closing this thing, (and I have no money for a new box, nor the energy to find an extra box ^^;). Anyways, in a effort to close it I jumped into the box and the stupid thing wobbled on the tile floor and all the hosiery popped up and I lost my balanced and fell out ;__; *ohhhh~ that pain!* I do not handle physical pain well. T.T With this incident I fell face down on the hard tile and knocked my poor weak knees into my bed iron and my other leg into the TV stand, plus I banged my wrists so my face would not get hurt. It was so scary. I rarely loose balance ;_; So I do not like landing face down! Then I realized I took almost all the impact on my knees and my right hip! My hips were in so much pain for almost 5 days T_T. I still cannot kneel with my knees, so much pain :(. It really does not help that my body is weak and the I am a little clumsy or that I injured or fracture very easily :| Although that is not the worst thing that happened this week! About four days ago I became severely ill! I threw up for 2 days straight, almost 6 times [when I throw I seriously go at it until I cannot even stand x.x it is not pretty...] I did not eat any food for 3 and a half days, more than 72 hours without food! D: I only drank 4 oz of water for the first two days, then my mom forced me to drink Gatorade and lick ice cubes. The first day I was sick I just fought with my mom then fell asleep. Then the second day I have a fever, was hallucinating, and confused all day, and my mom was really angry with me. I regained my sanity on day three however… (Oh, while I was out of it I kept thinking about Shiva and Ramah and Hinduism. It sort of annoyed me but my mind was weird on it’s own that day. -_____-; What to do?) I finally stopped throwing up on day 3 and I got antibiotics. Bad part was my bronchitis came back and now I am coughing none stop and I am on a really strong drug that weakens me horribly. In addition my stomach is so weak and my lungs are in so much pain I am having more trouble eating, I even throw it back up sometimes. This week has been just terrible really. *sighs* It has been rather lonesome too. But at least alphonse13 and Foxerz kept me company. Thank you~ Alright then, I am really in need of more meds so I will be off, bye bye!

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