myOtaku.com: Raisha




Friday, February 05, 2010 My Profile [Read if you wana know about me!] OMG! Hey everyone! I left for awhile again =.=; Yes, I'm alive :D Busy like hell, but very much alive ^^; So yes, I update last around Jan 21st? So I'll try to fill everyone in on wats up since. Okay, so first off I was having man problems, you all know this. Btw, I'm done the horrible pills, I'm just on allergies meds still, but thats ok. Now back to the guy, well for those of you who follow me on Facebook, you know it's been truly conflicting! D: Well this guy I dont love him :( I tried being with him, acting all girlfriend like and stuff, but I felt nothing T.T Then I had this fight with him and I cried alot :( So that was two weeks ago, btw. Things are better now, after the fight I cried because I realized I'm VERY much still in love with the guy from summer, you know him, the only guy I love :( Well now the new guy ^^ and I are friends :3 We chat & stuff, very nice :D But guy I'm in love with =\ I love him so much... He doesnt love me. I try not to love him, it fails horribly! So now last week, what did I do? Well for Jan 27th - Feb 1st I wrote a romance novel! Why did I all of a sudden do this? Well the night before I felt reeeeally upset, like I wanted to cut myself or drowned myself :( So what I did was crying T.T But day after, I decided I would write my feeling for the guy I love in a book :D So I did this ^_^ For 6 days i wrote a full 140pg book, on my love story, only it's loosely based on event about me, and is more of a side story for my novel, BUT it contains my very hopeless love in it. The only people who know about my book in details are my cousin, my mom and Foxerz :3 But i did mention it on FB too, so other ppl know [my FB has only few ppl, so still not many.] Now after finishing this book I'm doing ok, not thinking of hurting myself or crying :3 Been thinking tons on my other books :O I wanna write more ^ But! My school tests are NEXT week & next month D: Crap!! So what did i do yesterday? =.= Well i went to a school for an ID for my test! OMG! D: I hate that school, the ppl are so stupid -.- Was there for an hour just for one damn picture! The students be rude too T.T I was like the only person in black, so lots of look -o- Like its the first time ppl so Noir Uniform, cause i was wearing Noir clothing =.= pplz... Then i met the principal ~.~ Like why the hell do i care to talk to him? or the administration lady? They kept talking up there D school and then asked me if i had questions, when i say no [all polite too btw] she asked me 4 times! Before i just stopped talking and waiting to be allowed to leave -.- Was there with dad btw, soo lame! Plus they know i cant walk up stairs and still i get stuck on floor 2, all the way at the end of the school, which i super long walk D: I'll need to keep my inhaler & paper bag with me T.T I hope whoever student takes me to the classroom isnt all bitchy or something, cause the guy who was showing me around yesterday slammed the freakin' door in my face D: I'd kick him if i wasnt so tiny in comparison T.T all them student look old :O Like late 20s D: WTF? What kind of milk do they drink? @_@ i dont like schools... Not one bit =P Hate THEM, completely!!! :X Oh yes i also got this stupid virus on my laptop it deleted EVERYTHING, so horrible so sad :( But laptop got fixed, by me =3 So now just to fix and re-type files T.T Well now, today ^^;; Nothing much, just dreaming about this guy XD No real guy, just the one in my fantasies ;D Last night i dreamt of this guy and me, we were living in these SUPER tiny like apartments, where this room was tiny, like a motel room, but then there was a windowless room for a bed, was so small, but there apartments where like 12 [or 10?] in a row? Two rows, but in the middle huge opening, where cars and stuff pass, like a road in the middle of a bunch of super compact apartments. So I'm living with my mom,& dad, where dad was always sleeping, and i was on my laptop at night, and my mom was talking for abit then disappeared, i got this computer virus then fell asleep, and when i wrote up i was in the middle of the road with the guy, we lived on apartments opposite, and the farest end right! But we always forgot which one we lived in!! So like we never go to our own room first. So when i finally got to mine i was sooooooo tired, but realized it was his, but then he came running to me, and said we got mixed up, and i ran to my room breathless, and i woke up O__O now when i got up this morning i vaguely remember my dream ^^;; So thought about it allittle and here is what i thought, ohhh, and the whole time in my dream the song Konna Ni Chikaku De & Beautiful You were playing XD So my thoughts [this is what i thought when i got up, no longer in dream mode XD]: The guy and i were walking again and mixed up rooms but i didnt want to walk back to mine so fell to the ground in front of his door, and cried. But then he came into his room, dunno how, maybe back door? :O So like i get up and bang on his door, and he opens it, and i ran into his arms, he pulls me in and locks the door! I'm in his arms breathless, and he pushing my body against this wall like he's gonna kiss me, but doesnt, and its super dark. When i stop moving he lifts me in his arms, and carries me away to his bedroom and the end :O THE END, cause i get interpreted this morning when my mom says get out of bed [was rolling around in my bed while thinking] and use the bathroom ^^;; So yeah, this dream got me thinking =3 Well in my dream i didnt see how the guy looked, but remained me of Jin for kat-tun with the hair style for the guy for Kurosagi ^^ So handsome ^//^ Well that's all, its 3:20pm gtg back to math! D: Bye!!!

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