Thursday, May 12, 2005

that expression the calm before the storm, yeah well the calm is over.....i think it's official im in hell again, yes the very deep reaches of the abominal pit....and just when things were starting to get good again too, eh this is just the usual, it always happens, one of the many reasons why im not happy i guess......oh well, i most likely deserve everything i get anyway.....so fuckity....and as for tomorrow and the weekend all of my plans are blown to shit.......most likely wont visit the parlour for many reasons....but hey you never know....and as for my other stuff i was trying to do nice things for friends but hey fuck that too.....i guess i shouldnt try to nice things for people because every time i do they throw it in my face and basically say ha ha fuck you.....so yeah woo damn.....well lets see, i guess ill try to find a positive side here....hmm....well at least i can feel again...i was beginning to wonder if it was possible since i put out that fake mellow attitude all the time.......i have reasons for that and such.....really it just makes things better because you dont really have people asking about shit that is none of their business and you dont have people fucking complaining because youre down......but hell its annoying either way because when you feel good they question you like mad and want to know exactly why.......so yeah thats basically a paradox in itself in some aspects......yeah now ill stop ranting because thats pointless and no good.....besides cant bitch too much anyway a lot of people do that.....and most for no reason what so ever other than something petty and stupid.....yeah i guess now is when i go to check and see what kind of pills are laying around here....maybe ill find something to calm my nerves and make me forget.......

yours truly,
Plush
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Saturday, April 30, 2005

yeah well things are neutral at the moment.....yesterday wasnt bad or good really.....it had a little of both....on the bad side i was at diann's and i "diappeared" for a while with madison...psh, bullshit...i was merely scoping out this abandoned factory because i thought it would be a good spot for drinking with friends, madison just followed me, nothing happened etc etc, however they just like to fucking assume everything.....and of course i tried to explain for a little bit, but it was pissing in the wind....so fuck them....im tired of being expected to explain myself when people just disreguard my explination because its not what theyd like to hear.........now then for the plus side of all this, we did use the spot that i found and everything went alright....we didnt have much stuff though, only a six pack of mike's hard lemonade and an XXXL bottle of vodka, which that wasnt too bad because only four of us were drinking.....so we basically split everything even except for the last bottle of mike's, because it was someone's first time to get shit faced....so all in all one person got shit faced, two got lit, and i just got a buzz......damn my endurance to such things.......so here i am today without even a hangover.....oi i miss the head aches.......

yours truly,
Plush
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Saturday, April 23, 2005

well my weekend has been alright.....ive been hanging out with april for her party thingy......it has been ok even though there is a lack of alcohol and fun treats like that, but oh well met some interesting people......yeah interesting is the right word to use here, ive had people want to hit me and people want to rape me.......has been odd indeed.........oh well.......and fujiko seems alright anyway......now then i guess ill be off.....

yours truly,
Plush
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Sunday, April 17, 2005

well the weekend wasnt too fun......but oh well thats a normal thing....got an unexpected phone call from someone......i got ticked off just a tad bit.....but hell i wont say that.....its pointless....now then as for other matters.....fuck i dont know....im too tired.....guess ill be off

yours truly,
Plush
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Friday, April 15, 2005

well today was bad......i did cause a few bruises to myself though.....they hurt.....which is good....dont ask why....well anyway i went over to dianns for a little then had to leave......i dont really give a damn.....as long as im not home......which is why im trying to leave now.....even if i have to walk somewhere.......i feel like im drowning again........

yours truly,
Plush
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Monday, April 4, 2005

well i recently finished this one.....suprising some of the stuff i put out in such dire times of stress.....but oh well here it is...

title: Rusty Shoes
sketched lines, overlapping
sweaty little hands
hard times, fill the very
stale tasting air
some kind of picture's on
the wall, and it wants to
take over them all
cant you hear it call?
its probly collect and
wont take that long

it's some kind of robot
with a maul
and its happy to have a dog
but that couldnt be all wrong
like an excommunicated
catholic tree frog
say it hit me in the eye
with a dime, then
wouldnt that just infuriate you

chorus:all the lonely shoes, that just want a home (X2)

motor cars, flying through
the tired voice of air
couldnt be so long that
it could compare
to the elastic of a gummi bear

chorus:all the lonely shoes, that just want a home (X2)

cold nights just make one dare
to go there, cause mass chaos
all over a liquorish square
so gather round times square
on the pin drop that makes
no one care

chorus:all the lonely shoes, that just want a home (X2)

numb the night out there
and to all this does make fair
crying lights fill that stare
and all this does is depress
the chair
maybe this isnt luck,
or could it be all youuuu

chorus:all the lonely shoes, that just want a home (X2)

its all due and isnt
done
chewing on that taffy tongue
and relaxing while the
chickens run

thank you for food
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hate me........go on......you know you want to.......it seems to be the popular thing to do these days.......so much is fucked up in my life........half of it is probly my fault there.....which i have been told that i point the finger at myself too much so i have no fucking idea.........its all confusing.......in all honesty i havent felt this bad in a while, but i will say this.......it feels all too familiar and as a wise man named kurt cobain once said, "i miss the comfort in being sad".........which if that doesnt make sense to you then dont fucking ask......im tired of explaining things to people......its none of their business most of the time anyway......so fuck it.......



really is happiness too much to ask for?



yours truly,
Plush

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Tuesday, March 29, 2005

FUCK!! -slams head into wall repeatedly-.........ok im good now......anyway.....today sucked as always......seems like i can never have a good day, just like i cant seem to find happiness.........maybe i have a problem......i dont know........what i do know is that i have another fucking project for school.......goddamn....oi, if life wasnt so determined by that damnable place id quit......but i know thats like shooting myself in the head.....and i dont want to do that unless it's in a literal sense.......

yours truly,
Plush

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Sunday, March 27, 2005

well i got bored and found this quiz on a friends site....so here are the results

You scored as Suicide. Your death will be suicide. What more can I say? Fact: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Suicide 100% Drowning 67% Accident 60% Disappear 53% Stabbed 53% Disease 40% Suffocated 40% Eaten 40% Bomb 40% Posion 20% Natural Causes 0% Gunshot 0% Cut Throat 0% How Will You Die?? created with QuizFarm.com

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update
well it appears that my great grand father is dying.....not suprising he is 93.....i had to help load him up today while they took him to the hospital......it appears he is sick with phenumonia and i expect him to die any second......i dont care too much though, im not close to these ones called "family" which is to be expected with how things have been, and as for death....i welcome that with party favors and cheaply made balloon animals...so basically this will just be another funeral to add to the long list.......oh yeah thats another thing ppl tend to live a long time in this family, so ive been to numerous funerals the whole time ive been alive......i think my record is 3 in one year.....but oh well.....im just rambling now anyway......

yours truly,
Plush

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