Thursday, January 13, 2005

   How my life is...
Green Day
Boulevard Of Broken Dreams


I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh-Ah
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everythings all right
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh-Ah
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah I walk alone, I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a..

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone




Comments (0) | Permalink

   A song to live by (and one of my favorite songs)
Slipknot
Pulse Of The Maggots


This is the year where hope fails you
The test subjects run the experiments
And the bastards you know, is the hero you hate
But cohesing is posssible if we strive
Theres no reason, theres no lesson
No time like the present, telling you right now
What have you got to lose, what have you got to lose
Except your soul...who's with us!

I fight for the unconventional
My right, and its unconditional
I can only, be as real as i can
The disadvantage is
I never knew the plan
This isn't the way just to be a martyr
I cant, walk alone any longer
I fight, for the ones that cant fight
And if I lose, at least I tried

We, we are the new diabolic
We, we are the bitter bucolic
If I have to give my life you can have it
We, we are the pulse of the maggots

I won't, be the inconsequential
I won't, be the wasted potential
I can make it, as severe as I can
Until you realize
You'll never take a stand
It isn't, just a one-side aversion
We've dealt, with a manic diversion
And I won't, let the truth be perverted
And I won't leave another victim deserted

We, we are the new diabolic
We, we are the bitter bucolic
If I have to give my life you can have it
We, we are the pulse of the maggots

Do you understand? (yes)
Do you understand? (yes)
Do you understand? (yes)
Do you understand? (yes)

Say it again say it again (we won't die)
Say it again say it again (we won't die)
Say it again say it again (we won't die)
Say it again say it again (we won't die)
Say it again say it again (we won't die)
Say it again say it again (we won't die)
Say it again say it again (we won't die)
Say it again say it again (we won't die)

We fight til no one can fight us
We live, and no one can stop us
We pull when we're pushed too far
And the advantages is
The bottom line is
We never, had to fight in the first place
We only, had to spit back at their face
We won't, walk alone any longer
What doesnt kill us, only makes us stronger

We, we are the new diabolic
We, we are the bitter bucolic
If I have to give my life you can have it
We, we are the pulse of the maggots

Do you understand (yes)
Do you understand (yes)
Do you understand (yes)
Do you understand (yes)

Say it again say it again (we won't die)
Say it again say it again (we won't die)
Say it again say it again (we won't die)
Say it again say it again (we won't die)




Comments (0) | Permalink

Monday, January 3, 2005

   Life's toilet has now sucked me under
I dumped my boyfriend. For no real good reason at all. I mean, he he's been the best boyfriend I've ever had! He treated me really nice. I just guess I didn't love him anymore. He is really upset and THAT is upsetting me. I really suck, especially as a girlfriend. Ugh, I hate it.

But I saw Kevin today and he said to me stuff like he's glad i don't have a boyfriend anymore cuz...well...you get the idea. I really like him and he is REALLY hot but I don't want another relationship especially right now. Get dumped or dump someone, either way it sucks. But hey, side lovers are ok...especially Kevin. ;-)
Comments (2) | Permalink

   Life's toilet has now sucked me under
I dumped my boyfriend. For no real good reason at all. I mean, he he's been the best boyfriend I've ever had! He treated me really nice. I just guess I didn't love him anymore. He is really upset and THAT is upsetting me. I really suck, especially as a girlfriend. Ugh, I hate it.

But I saw Kevin today and he said to me stuff like he's glad i don't have a boyfriend anymore cuz...well...you get the idea. I really like him and he is REALLY hot but I don't want another relationship especially right now. Get dumped or dump someone, either way it sucks. But hey, side lovers are ok...especially Kevin. ;-)
Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, November 18, 2004

   Smoking
Oh MY FREAKN GOD!!! NOBODY start smoking, even though i like it, I am now adicted and I SUCKS ASS. Every hour I'm like "yeah, I could go for a smoke right now." I REALLY sucks. And what's worse is my BF is the one that buys them for me. Oh well.
Comments (2) | Permalink

   Want to tell the entire world to f-off, but then again...what's new?
...Well for starters, my best sexy mcsex friend got taken out of my school and it basikally came down to it, to make a VERY long story short, I would NEVER see her again. I cried and cried (you better bet your ass I did). Then I was so happy I could die when I talked to her on the phone at my other bestest best sexy mcsexy head's house. I was almost crying happing tears!!! I was screaming and jumping around though. Now at least I know she's safe and not with her EVIL abusive bastard step dad. But that was yesterday. Now my friends's mom, the one my runawy friend was staying with, kicked her out. Well actually both of them if you want to get technical. Now I'm disappointed in them cuz they are making VERY rash dicisions: talking about moving to Illinois or New Mexico and "never coming back" and stuff. It's like, I just got over losing my best friend and now I'm gonna lose both of my best friends!!! THis can't happen!! I would die!!oh...and there's a catch...I prayed to God the night before I heard anything about this and I said "God, if you give her back to me, if I can just see her again and hold her and tell her with all my heart and soul I love her then I will give myself to you." well I like how I am now and so..yeah... i am so messed up inside right now it's discusting. There is also a bunch of other shit happening that i don't feel like disclosing with thousands of internet stangers. But it's guy issuses so my advice to evryone is: STAY SINGLE FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

About my boyfriend... he's great. Kinda scary...but great.
Comments (2) | Permalink

Thursday, October 28, 2004

   Just Stuff
Went to a VERY kick ass party last saturday. My and my friends went out streaking and shit. Then we saw this person coming towards us and it was funny, i guess, to watch us throw on our clothes really fast and stuff(we were carrying them). We went to Game Farm and just sat and talked and smoked and stuff for hours. At like after midnight. We got home around 1:30 from our streaking/smoking fest. It was hella fun.

I got a new boyfrind of 2 days. His name is Richie and he is 18 on Monday. My mom dosn't know but I'm sure if she did she's flip. He's an awesome guy.We have the same sense of humor and I'm not "too wild" for him like I was for Bryce. Today he brought me presents too. It's very kick ass.


Quote of the day: "...Take your pants off..." (me and Carlos's thing. Gotta love him.)
Comments (1) | Permalink

Thursday, October 14, 2004

   Some Stuff
Ok i dunno if i really wanna share this with the whole world but i don't know more than half of them and besides who cares anyway right.

I'm not suicidal or harboring homocidal tendancies, just so everyone knows...I wrote this one on October 4. Basikally just don't be concered. Everything IS ok and i mean that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DEAR MIKE

I hate you
I want you to die
with evil expression
I enjoy watching you cry

You may not know what is wrong
Over your yelling and cruel intentions
How can you sleep at night

Next to your beautiful wife
my mother, who I love to death
You try to control her and her life
Now a brainwashed like a clone or a zombie
She carries out your plans for destruction

I hate you
I want you to die
Kill yourself
you put this tear in my eye

Control is your focus
and impossible standards
You push us around and claim it is your job
oh how i hate you
you lie worse than a serpent spinning deception

Some people like you
I cannot figure out why
You are a demon
killing goodness and joy

Another thing annoys me, and this is not hard to see
You brag and think you are the best at everything
"I have done everything right" you say
One lie among many
"I love you" you say
Bullshit

I hate you
I wish you were already dead
Kill yourself
put a bullet in your head

Now something that pains me the most
I let you marry her on one condition
You would never hurt her
Too much pain's been in her eyes
You agreed and broke your promise
You've crossed the line
This is it
You've turned all of our lives to shit
Fuck you Mike

You think you own me, control me
That is a lie
You cannot control the thing that wishes you would die

Fuck you and have a nice day

Burn in hell Mike

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This one I wrote right after that one. It is how things are on the inside, not the outside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LIFELESS

My life?
Have you seen it?
It has escaped me

I never wanted any of it
Lie upon lie
What I've know turn to shit
I have you to thank

When I see your face
the bitterness returns
I try to restrain myself
from putting you in your place

I remember when things were different
I smiled on the inside and out
My soul sometimes I thought would burst
I loved everyone
Everyone loved me
Life was simple
Cold darkness has replaced my joy

I still smile but it is almost a lie
I still love but very few
Life is a nightmare
I hardly dream
I've lost meaning of loyalty

A twisting knife
dripping red explosions
Don't you love life?
Thunder and lightnig coming from my head

living restless
silent screams
anziety from all directions
turn down your high beams

I cannot bear my life
An hourglass of pain and confusion
Icey inside
I have glass in my eyes

Something is not right
choking on something
the light is not right
so lonly and ashamed

hate has consumed me
Depressed and calling out
this hate is for you
take it and leave me alone

Your cruelty isn't slight
maggots in your heart
I'm running slowly in the night
teary eyes stare into depression

This is not really me
Only what i've become
I try to make the best of it
But hate is eclipsing the corners of my heart

I'm sorry I even care
Comments (1) | Permalink

» Archives