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Friday, November 23, 2007


   Yumemiruhito?
Current Mood: I dunno
Current Song: 304 Goushitsu, Hakushi to Sakura by Dir en grey
Currently Watching: Scrubs


I'm sorry that I haven't been posting as much, you guys. It just feels like I don't have anything to talk about and it also puts me off to put things up here since my father constantly reads them. Also, it seems like my Japanesey-ness is fading. I don't nearly listen to Dir en grey as much as I used to (instead I've been listening to a lot of American stuff), haven't studied Japanese in a while, and German keeps on invading my mind. I need to work on that, needless to say.

I've remembered a lot of my dreams lately. I keep on dreaming about Elijah and then dreaming about Melody. I can understand why Elijah is in my dreams, since I like him a lot and he's my boyfriend, but it pisses me off whenever I even remember that Melody exists. In my mind, the Melody I knew died whenever she turned into the bitch I didn't recognize. And it hurts to remember what she did to me, and I'm done dealing with that pain. I'm tired of remembering it. I want to move on.

I've been out of school since Wednesday and have to go back on Monday. It's good to have a day off since school life is kind of hectic, but I have no idea of what to do with myself when I have this time on my hands. Mostly all I've done is lay around watching T.V. and complaning to myself about how fat I am... *gasp* Connection? o_o

Thanksgiving really pissed me off yesterday. I was thinking about the things I'm thankful for (I know it doesn't sound like it lately, but I am thankful for a lot of things) and then Dad talked to Laura twice on the phone, acting like a fucking dog in heat. He's worse than a teenage girl. He kept on complaning about how going to work tommorow, when he should just be happy to have a job. It may be a crappy job he hates and has to stay overtime on, but he doesn't even think about all those illegal immigrants who risk everything to barely scrape by. Or, how lucky he is to have a family, a house, food, or anything he has. I know it's hard to think of this when you're depressed (he keeps on ignoring the fact that I was once so depressed that I thought of suicide, sobbed, and cut myself over 10-15 times everyday, and thinks that I don't understand), but he needs to fucking man up or get out. Maybe he can run away with Laura and start a new family with her to ignore.

Okay... um... I guess that helped get some of my frustration out. @_@; I need to do my homework now. Later, you guys.
+Momo+

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