Sunday, March 4, 2007

   Has my head gone mad?
Current Mood: Depressed
Current Song: Lie Buried with a Vengeance by Dir en grey

Nothing really happened since I last posted except for the fact that I watched "Uzumaki" (probably the crappiest Japanese movie I've seen-don't waste your time with it) and got the April issue of "Revolver", the one with DIRU in it. It basically just covered facts and background, but that's kinda what I expected. It still had a picture of them and a picture of Kyo, so I'm happy. ^-^ I personally think the best part of the article was whenever poor little Die-kun was complaining about how you couldn't find bidets (toilets often found in Japan that wash off your rear end after using the toilet) in America. XD Oh, dear. I was a little taken aback, though, because Kaoru mentioned that he doesn't really think that American fans know what they're singing whenever they sing along with them at concerts. Um... Kaoru-kun, most of your fans speak at least a little Japanese. AND, some fans are extremely fluent and are able to translate Kyo's lyrics so we can understand them. It pissed me off a little bit, but there's no way I can stay mad at Kaoru. *squishes* Besides, America isn't really all that famous for knowing other languages. o_o Anyways, there was also a really cool article on Kittie in "Revolver" too. And Morgan.... *drools* OMFG, she looks so HOT. I wanted to lick the page whenever I saw her on the table of contents. XD; I love Kittie since they're an all girl hard rock band and prove that chicks CAN kick guys' ass when it comes to music. >D Kyo and Morgan are my most important influences when it comes to putting passion into my lyrics and music. And, in my eyes, if you're up there with Kyo, you're pretty damn important. Anyway, the article was really funny because they were shopping at the beginning of it and Morgan randomly said "I wanna fuck a loose whore." XDDD Kittie reminds me so much of me and my friends. Also, I was looking around on Batsu and saw a conversation saying that DIRU might start an American [a knot]. It was a real coinsidence, considering that I was talking to Nicole how it was unfair how only fans living in Japan can join [a knot]. I hope they do make one (in fact, I hope they make an international [a knot], that way all fans can join) so I will be able to have all the DIRU goodness that I crave. ^-^


Here's a picture of Kittie. Morgan is the third from the left. ^-^ I also have a little crush on their bassist, Trish (the girl second from the left). @_@;

Today hasn't been all that great... not bad, I guess, though. I woke up and kinda layed around for a little while until we finally got our act together and went to a Mexican restaurant. My brother kept on teasing me that I looked extremely pale today because I was wearing red lipstick, and I told him that it wasn't really an insult since I strive to look this white. He just looked at me weird after I laughed whenever he told me I looked dead. @_@ The waiter was really nice to us and I had a vegetarian special, that had a side of beans and a cheese chalupa. :3 'Twas very tasty. Afterwards, we went to Target and I visited the shoes section. I want some new shoes, since mine are made out of leather, and that's against my beliefs. I feel terrible everytime I wear it, it's the same as eating meat to me. So I was looking as some shoes and found this really bitchin' pair of slip ons that were my size and only about $14. Unfortunately, I know I wouldn't be able to have them since I know that my family's tight on money since my dad's unemployment check has run out. I mentioned the shoes to them and I immediately wished I hadn't, because I knew it made my dad upset. I got suddenly depressed afterwards, and it felt like someone put a load of bricks on my back. I don't know why it happened, and it was so sudden. I don't understand myself. Whenever we were checking out, I looked at myself in a mirror and couldn't help but be disgusted. I'm so ugly and so fat. I wish I could be someone else. I'm losing weight, so please don't assume that I'm whining without actually doing something about it, but it just seems that it's not happening fast enough. I wanted to cry and smash the mirror. I'm never good enough for myself.

I want to exercise, but I just don't have the energy. I'm still depressed, my head hurts, my eyes sting and it feels like I'm going to cry, and I'm hungry (but I'm not going to eat anything because I don't want to build up on the fat). I feel like going to sleep. I wish I wasn't like this.
+Momo+
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