Tuesday, August 22, 2006

   Pussy Superst*r
Current Mood: Happy
Current Song: Raven by Kittie

Okay, today, I'm gonna do something I hardly ever do. I'm gonna talk about an American band. I know, I know, WOW. Anyhow, yesterday while I was watching a few Kyo fanvideos, I heard a song ("Devil With The Black Dress On") by Jack Off Jill and I liked it. So I decided that I would check them out, because I've heard good things about them, especially from Kittie fans (and I'm a HUGE Kittie fan, they're one of my favorite bands... I would hug Morgan Lander if I ever saw in person @_@). On YouTube I watched they're video for "My Cat" and thought it was funny and kinda cute. So I went onto Dogpile and searched "jack off jill" in the audio field and uploaded 24 J.O.J. songs. X_X Oops... I guess I got a little too more than I aimed for. ^^; Anyhow, I really like Jack Off Jill... the lead singer has a really cute voice, like lolita-ish, but she can scream like no one's business. A lot of the songs I heard from them are just excuses to go crazy and cuss, but who doesn't want to do that. Like... "I Love To Say Fuck" by Murderdolls. I love that song, but all it is is an excuse to scream "FUCK!!!" at the top of your lungs. That's okay, though. ^^ I'm not really sure which J.O.J. I've listened to is my favorite, although I'm quite partial to "When I am Queen." I don't like them as much as Kittie, but I didn't expect to. While I was uploading songs Dad came home and I almost crapped myself. XD I don't think he would appreciate me listening to "Cumdumpster" by a band called Jack Off Jill, ne? X3 Whenever he went outside to mow the lawn I finished loading songs and didn't get caught. Go me!!! ^^ So yesterday, I didn't get as much J-rock as usual, but that's okay. :) I love any type of music, nationality doesn't matter, so that also helped. I did have "In Vain" by D'espairsRay stuck in my head, yesterday, though... for some reason I love the way Hizumi saw "ore wa" in that song. @_@ I'm so weird. After I got my fill of Jack Off Jill, Mom brought home PIZZA. Fuck yes. Pizza is like my favorite food. XD So I was really happy because of that... yay delicious cheezy-ness!!! And the new ad campain from the pizza place we got it is "Frozen Pizza has No Soul." X3 My dad and I bust out laughing whenever we saw it, we couldn't help it. Afterwards we watched "The Venture Brothers", which was disturbing (but funny), even more than usual. Let's just say Dean's in a Princess Leia outfit the entire time. X_X Ew. Once recovering from my tramatic experience, I praticed bass (it hurts so much to try to streach my third finger to the third fret while my second and first fingers are on the first and second frets T~T), and I'm getting a whole lot better than I was, so I'm proud. I looked up on how to clean the bass and I need some guitar polish and some other stuff to clean it... at least I have the alcohol to clean the strings. Hey, all you guitar players out there, how often do you guys clean your instrument? I'm thinking once a month but I wonder if it should be more than that. 9_9 I also need to practice streaching out my fingers as far as they can... you see, I'm used to playing the viola... there's a big difference between a viola and a bass. ;_; After that I read more of "To Kill a Mockingbird", watched a little bit of "Futurama", sang to Dir en grey for about 30-45 minutes, felt guilty, read more of "To Kill a Mockingbird" until I thought I was gonna pass out, then went to bed.


Alas, Jack Off Jill.

Today I had to wake up at 8 because I'm going to school on Thursday... -_- Damn. It was pretty hard to wake up but I eventually pushed myself to wake up. I took a shower, finished reading "To Kill a Mockingbird" (it was a good book, but not my favorite), and eventually got on the computer. Yays!!! So far all I've listened to is Jack Off Jill and Kittie, so I'll have to get my fill of J-rock later on today. I gotta go and eat lunch and help my brother find something. -_- Later!
+Momo+
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Monday, August 21, 2006

   To Madre
Current Mood: Happy
Current Song: In Vain by D'espairsRay

Kyaaa, hello, everyone. Last night was pretty nice, I got to laugh my ass off. I watched the William Shatner Roast on Comedy Central with my father (we're both Shatner fans, although I seldomly watch "Star Trek.") and I we both laughed so hard that we had headaches afterwards. You see, last year, we watched the Pamela Anderson Roast together and I really liked it and I guess it's become sort of a tradition to watch Roasts together. Anyways, it was hilarious and filled with disgusting, raunchy, vicious, mean, evil jokes fun for the whole family. My favorite bit was George Takei's (I woke my mom up laughing so hard about the reference to William Shatner being a devil's food cake) but I also really like Andy Dick's bit. Mom sat through part of it but was so disgusted that she eventually had to go to bed. XD Anyway, if you love to laugh, if you're a Shatner fan, WATCH THE SHATNER ROAST. It was so great that my father sat through it for 2 hours even though he had to use the bathroom. XDDD After that I watched another show to calm me down (although I don't remember what it was, I was still laughing at some of the jokes from Shatner)... afterwards I looked for some screecaps of "Ryoujoku No Ame", which I couldn't find. Does anyone have any of Kyo so that you can see his hat and his scarf without any blood on him (I have to show them to my mom so she can get an idea of what I'm looking for)? Then I played Vivian and I realized I'm about 3/4 of the way through my bass book!!! I was really happy, I hugged Vivian and went to go tell my family. XD Once I'm all the way through it, I'm gonna review it over and over again until the movements become fluid-like and then start on the second book (a continuation of the first) and do the same as the first. Although I'm learning from those books, I really need to get "Bass Playing for Dummies" because I still don't have everything I need for my dear little Vivian and I need to learn how to like change her strings and clean her. Poor little Vivian has a retard for an owner. ;_; Last night I actually thought about how awesome it would be to get bass lessons from Toshiya-kun and Zero-sama. XD Then I could get Toshiya to bring Kyo and I could give Toshiya to Sharito-chan and give Zero to Areina-chan and get Kyo to bring Die and give him to Oneechan and then get Die to get Shinya and give him to Areina-chan and get Shinya to get Kaoru cause he's the shit and get Zero to bring everyone in D'Ray cause we love them. XD Wow, I really thought this through, didn't I? O_O Fangirls will be the downfall of the world. "Surely I am your future." MUHAHAHAHAHA!!! ^^; Anyway~, after playing Vivian to death I read "To Kill a Mockingbird" until I could barely keep my eyes open any longer. I have about 60 pages left, which should enable me to finish in three days-when school starts. I'm such a procrastinator, it's going to be the death of me. Hopefully I can kick that habit during highschool. @_@ I went to bed without any tears this time.


Toshiya sensei...


...to Zero sensei desu!!! ^o^

I woke up two hours late today, but I don't really mind all that much... although it will be hell having to wake up at 6:45 in the morning when I'm used to waking up during anytime between 11 a.m.-2 p.m. -_- Damn school. Anyhow, after watching an episode of "Yo Momma" (love that damn show), I took a nice little shower, ate some ramen, had my dog come home from the groomers (I wish Mom wouldn't take Lily, our dog, to such a prissy little place as she does -_-), and got on the computer. Waaa!!! Awww, right now I'm listening to "RED BEAST wo korose" by Duel Jewel and Hayato-san has such a pretty voice!!! ^o^ I haven't listened to a lot of DJ, but I really like their sound... does someone know where I can find some of their MP3s? (God, I feel like such a little badger asking for all of this stuff. -_-) Well, I can't think of anything else to say. ^^; Love you guys and talk to you later!!!
+Momo+
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Sunday, August 20, 2006

   Me no Mae wo Tooru Tabi ni, Ore no Kokoro wa Sakenda.
Current Mood: Undecided
Current Song: RED...(em) by Dir en Grey

Hi, everyone. Nothing much happened last night, I was still in shock about Zakuro apologizing. Past events kept on replaying in my head, bringing back all the pain I've pushed away. It hurt so much, I just wanted it to go away and forget about everything. I eventually went to bed around 1:30... and as soon as my head hit the pillow, tears started streaming down my face. I felt like screaming, my heart was being torn open. In fact, I would have screamed if no one else were there. I wrapped my arms around my head and sobbed, repeating "make it stop" as if it were some type of mantra. I curled up in a ball and clenched my fists, I wanted to just wither away. After about 20 minutes of endless crying, I looked up at the ceiling and felt so numb, like I couldn't force any tears to come. I finally rolled over and clenched my teddy bear to my chest, staring at the wall. I eventually closed my eyes, my face frozen in a look of pain.

I don't really remember what happened this morning. I only started to remember what happened whenever I took a shower. At first I was fine, I started to wash my hair and then suddenly I just broke into tears without a warning. I went into hysterics, it was as if someone had possesed me. I started crying and bending over, clenching my stomach in pain and sobbing. I pulled my hair, raked my nails across my chest, wanted to scream, and slammed myself against the wall. I hurt so much, I just wanted it all to end. I couldn't stop. I eventually pulled myself together, got out of the shower, and got dressed. I watched "The Ali G Show" while the rest of my family was taking a shower and it was hilarious-if you can catch it, watch it. We eventually went out to eat, and while I picked at my fruit and walnut salad I told my parents that Zakuro had apologized. They were really happy, because they know how much she hurt me (at least as much as I let show. It wasn't as deeply as I felt, but I felt like I would never be the same). After that we went to Eckards to pick up some medicine and stuff. Once we wasted alot of time there, we went to Stein Mart. While we were there I searched for a white fedora (like Kyo's in "Ryoujoku No Ame"), a white scarf (like Kyo's in "Ryoujoku No Ame"), and a leapard-print jacket (like Kyo's in "Kodou"). I saw a scarf, but it was decorated with some really tacky-looking beads and I saw a leapard-print jacket, but it was huge and fluffy, not plain cloth like Kyo's. At least I got a few laughs from all the tacky shit there... and I laughed at all those yuppies looking at me like "what the fuck are YOU doing in here." My parents wanted to go see "Over the Hedge" again, so we went to the movie theater that shows movies just before they go out on DVD. It was alright seeing it again, I didn't really care, but there was a lady behind us laughing really loud and at about everything in the movie. It was a little annoying, but I thought it was also funny that she thought it was so hilarious. Now, we're home and I'm posting. Yippee. Today, I don't know if I'm happy or miserable. Just thinking of all those terrible things that bring out the worst of me, it kills me. I've also been gripping tightly to the song "RED...(em)" because it expresses how I feel. I'll post up the lyrics.

RED...(em) by Dir en Grey (Translation by direngrey.us)
In the room, on the red wall hang Rosalyn, and the scent
from the petals of the flowers fills the room but you are not
here.

On the velvet sofa as the dreams that turned to ashes
quietly I watch a local movie.
The reason to laugh is seeing you on screen.
The moon-shaped lamp still shines red.
Goodbye ..... My to my dearest Vivian-scented girl.

The decorations of perfumes in the sink, the black and
white picture cries.
What you see is everything and there's no reason to that

Cut down your discomfort wings.
Its dyeing on you
Cut down your discomfort wings.
To a tommorow that can't be reached

Children sing the choir at the newly built church.
Whenever I walk past it, my heart screams.

There's no forgetting the Past, the Present, or the Future.
Will only the believers be led to salvation? That's stupid.

Why can't we be perfect?

Why can't it be?

The merry go round that goes around and around and
around has dried you up.
I hold in my sweaty hand, a picture of you and an ice pick.

Cut down your discomfort wings.
Be freer.
Cut down your discomfort wings.
But keep the door closed.



Well, I gotta go. Hopefully I can still play bass even though the blister on my finger hasn't healed. Much love.
+Momo+
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Saturday, August 19, 2006

   My Heart is Screaming
Current Mood: Numb
Current Song: RED...(em) by Dir en Grey

I cannot believe what has happened to me. Zakuro PMed me today, apologizing. The entire time I cried while I read it. We haven't talked in about four months, and that was whenever someone tried to make us make up but I told her "I'm not apologizing to YOU." It seemed to take such a pain off of my chest, that it's unbelievable. A grudge still lingers within my heart, so I was not able to fully forgive her, but enough that we have come to certain terms. It's odd, I had a dream about her last night. Whenever I remembered it I thought I was gonna cry, but I'm used to remembering things about her and feeling like dying. It's a burden I have to deal with every single day. In the letter, she talked about "how great of a person" I am. She told me that things mean more to me than the average person. She told me she wishes that all my hopes come true. My heart started screaming. I just wish things could go back to normal, but I know that they never will. Maybe it's better this way. She's not going to the same school that I am and honestly, I'm afraid that she'll hurt me again. And things would never be the same. I just wish that I could go back in time and stop everything from happening. Stop that trainwreck from happening. But for once, I'm gonna hold on to my dignity and listen to my head, and not my heart. I'm not going to get hurt all over again. I can't forgive her completely. But I can thank her for that. And I can slightly rest because of this. So, Zakuro, if you're reading this, thank you. I really needed to hear that.

Also, my Oneechan has come back. "Oneechan" is not really my sister, but she's like one to me. Without Oneechan, Areina-chan, or DIRU, what's left of my sanity would be loooong gone. I'm so happy that she's back, if only for weekends, that I thought I was gonna cry whenever I saw her comment on one of my posts. I missed her so much.


Kyo says "me so happy Oneechan is back!!!"

Other than that, last night and today were rather uneventful. Last night I went to Aikido, ate pizza, and watched "The Benchwarmers" (an AWESOME movie, if you wanna laugh until you have a headache and love Jon Heder, WATCH THIS MOVIE). Today I went to Aikido again, ate at Jack In The Box, went to Dick's Sporting Goods, went to the local comic bookstore, went to Tuesday Morning, read "To Kill a Mockingbird", played bass until I got a blister on my pointer finger (I don't play with picks, I find them cumbersome and annoying) and my parents yelled at me for it, practiced singing "RED...(em)", ate ramen, and I plan on practicing Japanese. I have to go, I can't stop crying and I don't want my parents to find out. Later, you guys. Much love.
+Momo+
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Friday, August 18, 2006

   I'm Dancin' Like a Monkey!!!
Current Mood: Content
Current Song: Jessica by Dir en Grey

Hello, everyone. ^^ Yesterday was pretty good-and I didn't cry!!! :D Go me! Anyhow, I screwed around on the computer a whole lot yesterday (more than usual), mostly just watching more DIRU stuff. X_X I took a break for a while, but got really cold and decided to watch a few Kyo fanvideos to warm me up @_@ (they really do!!! I blush so much that I feel like I'm fire afterwards!). And... I guess the fanvids did their job TOO well. After watching two, I got a FUCKING NOSEBLEED. O_O My nose had felt a little odd while I was watching them and also got a headache... to calm myself down I watched the PV for "Dead Tree" while I rested my hand under my nose... my hand started to feel wet and I got all grossed out but when I looked down there was a smear of red on my knuckle. I screamed "DAMN YOU, KYO!!!" and my brother just kinda stared at me for a while. ^^; Oops. After that I saved an assload of Naitomea pictures (mostly Hitsugi @_@) and some DIRU pictures. I haven't listened to Naito in a LONG time and I kinda feel bad for it... they're not my favorite band in the world, and I think Yomi is a little off tune, but I still like them. And I feel bad whenver I ignore Hitsugi. ;_; I really admire his guitar-playing skills (listen to "Varuna"-it's GORGEOUS) and how kind he is to animals. ^^ So I made it up to him and Naito my like saving about 30 pictures of them. X_X Whenever my parents came home I got bored and went back on the computer and started to watch a few "making of..." videos for Dir en Grey, because I'm a sucker of seeing DIRU as they really act and how they make such wonderful works of art. I did get a little fidgety, though, because my parents were in the room (the computer's in the living room and it's NOT a laptop), but luckily they didn't see anything bad (although Kyo did rub his crotch in one video-he has no idea what the word "censorship" means. @_@). But, while I was watching the making of "Child Prey" my dad passed by as they were preparing Kyo to crawl out of the rat's abdomen. The following conversation went like this-

Dad: "I want to ask what you're watching but I'm afraid you'll tell me..."
Me: "Oh, just Kyo crawling out of a rat's stomach. ^^"
D: "How lovely."

^^; Yeah... that's how the whole J-rock thing in my family goes. Dad also told me that "The Final" (with the flames and everything) looks like the newest Hilary Duff music video. I just glared at him and told him he was a liar but he laughed at me... now everytime I watch "The Final" I'll think of goddamn Hilary Duff... shit. -_- After that I went to DIRU's official site, and I like the new layout, it's VERY pretty. ^^ It's "Ryoujoku No Ame" themed and I just realized that the little design for it was a collage of naked bodies. @_@ I felt a little stupid after that. Once I had run the computer out of all it was worth, I watched "Family Guy", read "To Kill a Mockingbird", and went to bed.


XD I love Toshiya...

I had some bad dreams... I'm not sure what they were about, but I'm pretty sure they weren't nice. o_O Yeah... all I've done today is wake up, take a shower, sing, eat ramen, watch a few more DIRU videos (in the making of "Myaku" the little gaijin girl in there said that Kyo was scary, she had her translator hug her. XD I felt so bad for her but couldn't help but laugh hysterically at the same time.), and update. I'll try to place Vivian (my bass) today since I've ignored her for about a week... in spite of me she'll probably be REAAAALLY out of tune. -_- Atode, minna-san!
+Momo+
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Thursday, August 17, 2006

   Ugh...
Current Mood: Tired
Current Song: Ryoujoku No Ame by Dir en Grey

I am so sorry for yesterday, you guys... I went totally emo. -_- I hate whenever I do shit like that, I want to punch myself in the eye. "Oh, boo-hoo, I'll never meet Kyo, woe to me... blahblahblahblahblahblah, SHUT THE FUCK UP." God, I annoy the hell out of myself sometimes. After giving myself a pep talk and listening to you guys, I felt better. I think the reason for all of this is that... um... that time of month is coming up again. @_@ I've been crying alot lately, over tiny little things, so that's probably what it is. Stupid womanhood.

Later that afternoon I had to go see the doctor for a rather embarassing reason (I don't wanna post it up on here, it's bad enough that my family and the doctor know-but it's not anything huge like pregnancy or anything, so don't freak out.) and I was really nervous. My mom brought two magazines for us to look at while we were waiting, L.L. Bean and Betty Crocker. -_- I took L.L. Bean. I flipped through it and saw some things that were decent, and made fun of everything else that wasn't. XD There was this really cool pair of boots but they were made out of plaid cloth. X_X I wouldn't have minded AS MUCH if it wasn't cloth, but, ew. (God, I sound like such a little fucker. X3) There was one thing that I saw and flipped out over, though-there was a checkered fedora that looked similar to Kyo's fedora in "Ryoujoku No Ame" and in a photoshoot in Kyoto. I was like "Mamma, look at that hat!!!" "Yeah, so what?" "I like that, I've seen it in a music video before!" "What type of music video?" ^^; Then I told her that I want to mimmick Kyo's jacket from "Kodou" and his other one from "DRAIN AWAY", but I didn't say Kyo lest she would go into another one of her rants about how he's a freak and I need a better idol. -_- While we were there, there were also like three different people in wheelchairs. There was one elderly woman who wanted to get around by herself in her chair, but moved only about an inch (I'm not exaggerating) each push. I felt terrible and wanted to help her but Mom told me to let it be. It teared me apart. Then there was a man in wheelchair who was trying to open the door but it kept on slamming back on his chair, so I got up and helped him and held it open for another lady in a wheelchair. It made me feel better, but I still wish I could've helped that lady. ;_; After waiting about an hour, we were finally called back. In the doctor's room, I was really uncomfortable. My mom was in there with me, but I still felt terrible. I had to take my shirt off and put on one of those paper shirts, and I sat there, my entire body stiffened. Whenever the doctor came in, he looked at my back (the source of the problem) and I was shaking the entire time. Then he started talking to my mom about it and pointing on my back and I started crying... they were silent, but I started crying nonetheless. I was so mortified that someone else had seen it, I couldn't help myself. Finally he and Mom stopped talking, he gave me a precription, and left. I put my shirt back on, wiped away my tears, and kept my head low. I felt like an idiot for crying, but still was too embarassed to look anyone in the eye. She finally paid and we went home.


His "DRAIN AWAY" jacket, I also want the tights, boots, collar, belts, and shirt. XD


His "Kodou" jacket (sorry I don't have a better picture. ;_;).


His hat from the Kyoto photoshoot (his "Ryoujoku No Ame" and the one I saw in the magazine is more cream-colored).

Last night was pretty routine, except for the fact that I uploaded about 30 icons... most of them were Kyo, but I also uploaded Mana, An Cafe, D'espairsRay, etc. Yay icons!


XD

I'm feeling a whole lot better than I did yesterday and am pretty pissed at myself for being such an emo little butt-fuck. Well, I gotta go take a shower and eat some ramen. Yummy time~!
+Momo+
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Wednesday, August 16, 2006

   Addicted To Being the Victim
Current Mood: Pensive
Current Song: Child Prey by Dir en Grey

Yesterday I did a lot of thinking... and usually that leads to trouble. And of course, it did. You see, I finished writing a song dedicated to Kyo. Afterwards I looked at it and took pity on myself. I'm loving someone I can never have. I love him, it's not some false, corny, fangirl shit I do sometimes. He can provoke such emotions in me that it's unexplicable. Right now I'm crying and can't help it... why the hell does this always happen. This the third person I've been obsessed with. But I don't know if the past two have been as emotionally attatched as Kyo. I know I'll never have him, I know I'll never meet him, and I never may able to see him in person (like in a concert). My problem is that I hold to fast to my dreams. I gripping onto false hopes... I use my wishes to escape from reality. All I'm really doing is hurting myself. That's all I seem to ever do. Even the things I love cause me pain. How ironic. I don't understand it. I want to love Kyo, I want to be happy, and ignore the fact that my love is unrequited. But sometimes the truth comes on too strong. And today is one of those days. Maybe I should ignore it and go on with my life. Maybe I should stop listening to DIRU... but if I do, I'll just get addicted to someone else. This is one of the many things I hate about myself-I'm too much of a romantic... too quick to get my heart broken. Things you love this much shouldn't hurt so badly. Here's the song I wrote so you get some idea what I'm talking about.

Paralysis
Sapphire blue, like the morning sky
Will your eyes always be so pained?
It seems that if I caress you with my razor-sharp touch,
The thread that holds you to this world will be broken
The most fragile thorn
Stop them from tearing apart your wings

Born into this world purely by coinsidence, I was never complete
Never meant to be
The vibrancy I've always lacked becomes clear
Numbed by your touch, I escape this staled world
Scratching out my memories with a single hope
The darkest summer will weep for me

You've carved a memory into my skin
These tears are my silver dreams
Cutting away all of reality
My poison. My drug. My heart.
I'll fade into the darkened horizon
Just like your smile

Born into this world purely by coinsidence, I was never complete
Never meant to be
The vibrancy I've always lacked becomes clear
Numbed by your touch, I escape this staled world
Scratching out my memories with a single hope
The darkest summer will...

On the last day of December, the snow kisses the earth
No warmth passes through the frosted window pane
Even now I will wait for you
When the flowers are crystalized and the sky turns to stell
I hold it all back until your return

The darkest summer will weep for me.


Reality is cruel, isn't it?

After all of my emo-ness, I totally pigged out on TV. I watched "Beetlegeuse, Chappelle's Show, The Venture Brothers, and MXC". I guess I just wanted to drown out all of my emotions with black comedy. "Beetlegeuse" made me really happy because it's one of my favorite movies. I watched two episodes of "The Venture Brothers" with my dad and laughed so hard that I thought I was gonna split my side... especially whenever Brock was naked to "feel the kill." XD Such a crackhead show. On "Chappelle's Show" I laughed myself until I was sore... whenever he was a baller on Cribs and was showing everyone around, that was PURE genius... especially whenever he saw the baby t-rex's egg hatching and then cut it's head off and drank it's blood. XD Lovely. I didn't watch too much of "MXC", but that's okay. I've probably seen most of it before. I then read a little bit of "To Kill a Mockingbird" (it's 8 days to school and I still haven't read it @_@) before going to bed.

Doesn't it suck whenever you have to use the bathroom while you're sleeping? I woke up at 6:30 in the morning to use the bathroom and couldn't get back to sleep... and then had the hiccups. -_- So eventually gave up on trying to get back to sleep and started studying Japanese. Damn bladder. I have a doctor's oppointment today. I don't wanna go... I hate the doctor. ;_;
+Momo+
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Tuesday, August 15, 2006

   Nakinai....
Current Mood: Agitated
Current Song: Embryo by Dir en Grey

-_- I think DIRU's goal in life is to make me cry. I'm serious. Yesterday they maybe me cry 4 times and tear up once. Those bastards. XDDD You see, I read a Kyo interview yesterday that had some fairly emotional things in it... the thing that sent me over is whenever Kyo talked about a girl he had met and was dating her for a long time... and he was considering putting music behind him and getting married to her. But all of a sudden, she vanished. Kyo looked all over for her, but couldn't find her... he talked to one of his friends about it and his friend helped him. But it turned out his friend was dating the girl. Whenever I heard that tears just started streaming down my face... how could she do such a thing? (Dammit, I'm getting all teary now. -_-) It scarred him forever. I wish I could show her his scars and tell her that she was one of the reasons for all of his pain. Stupid bitch. Hope she gets run over by a car. Then I watched the PV for "Embryo" and that song always tears me apart... especially whenever Kyo has the bandana over his mouth and nose, then pulls it down and takes a breath. He looks so sad!!! After that I watched "OBSCURE", my favorite DIRU PV, to cheer me up. ^^ It's kinda sad that my favorite PV (and music video of all time) freaks out people out, makes them sick, repulses people, and gives them nightmares. I'm serious. One girl on YouTube said it gave her nightmares for two months. XDDD After that I watched the PV for "Akuro No Oka" and sang along with it... which was quite stupid of me, since I cry everytime I watch it. -_- Later that night whenever I went to sleep I also cried because I thought of everything Kyo and DIRU has done for me... if I had one wish, I would want to thank Kyo for everything he's given me. I'm such a tacky little bitch. -_- After crying my little eyes out I went on a walk at the YMCA while listening to WTD... I started tearing up listening to "The Final." *sighs* Dammit. Anyhow, I felt really good about myself after I walked but was REAAAAALLY tired. You see, after I walked about 1 1/2 miles, my ankle started hurting (cause retarted old me wore flip-flops) and I had to limp for the next mile, I felt sick because of dehydration, and when I finished a total of 2 1/2 miles I felt dizzy. I guess that's what I get for walking that much in weather this hot... and wearing my normal clothes (which consist of a short-sleeved t-shirt and pants, usually jeans XD). I'm an idiot. I then ate dinner, then was forced to play "DragonBall Z: Budokai Tenkaichi" with my brother again. XD Don't get me wrong, it's fun, but sometimes I'm doing stuff whenever he asks me. -_- Anyhow, he had gotten a whole lot of new characters and I also shit myself when I saw that he had gotten Perfect Cell-Perfect Cell's my boy!!! X3 I also played as Android #19... for someone, he creeps me out... of course DIRU's "OBSCURE" doesn't creep me out at the least, but an android in an anime does. XD Afterwards I practiced my Japanese and marked everything I don't know in "Making Out In Japanese." That way I can skip everything that doesn't have a star next to it. ^^ Then I watched "America's Funniest Home Videos" and "MXC" before going to bed. Ah, always fun. XD


Kyo-sama... why do you like making me cry? ;_; Why???

YAY!!! "CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY IS ON"!!!!!!! I love that fucking movie (it's one of my favorites), almost everything Tim Burton does I will dry hump. XD That man's a genius. Well, I'm gonna stop babbling about DIRU and watch my Willy Wonka. ^^ Atode, minna-san~!
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Monday, August 14, 2006

   Aww, Grandma! Not My Prison Shank! X3
Current Mood: Happy
Current Song: Into the Darkness by Kittie

Ah, hello, everyone. I'm really sorry about yesterday's long post, I really didn't mean to make it that long. @_@ Sorry for wasting over 1/2 an hour of your life. Anyhow, this one will be shorter. I promise you. It will be short like Kyo. X3 (I can't really talk because I'm only one inch taller than he is. XD) Yesterday I totally attacked my new Japanese book-"Making Out In Japanese." It isn't nasty like you'd think it'd be, but it still really comes in handy. I copied down about 12 different phrases to learn (@_@) and flipped through it about 3 different times. XD I feel so bad for my Japanese books-I buttfuck them until they can't take anymore. My Japanese dictionary lies in the corner and cries daily. XD I'm such a terrible person. After that I played "DragonBall Z: Budokai Tenkaichi" with my brother for about 45 mins-1 hour. I was able to beat him a few times, which is a huge success for me (since he's the ultimate gamer. Well, not really, but he's better than I am!!!)... I also learned that the woman who did the voice of Freiza from "DragonBall Z" also did the voice for Genkai from "Yu Yu Hakusho." Yay me! XP Once I was able to escape the clutches of my brother, we watched "The Ringer." I wasn't too keen on watching it in the first time, because it made a comedy out of people's disabilities. And it kinda did. I mean, I know it was made in cooperation with the Special Olympics, but I still felt really bad for laughing at some jokes. Luckily, I only laughed about 3 times, and it was at stupid shit Johnny Knoxville did. And to tell the truth, I didn't really that big of a difference between the "special" people and some people I'm with today. Their brain just works a little slower than others... and that doesn't mean that they stop having emotions. They cry like us. They love like us. They hate like us. They know they're "special." And it hurts. It just kills me when people who were gifted enough to be born without any challenges laugh at those who are less fortunate. I wish people wouldn't abuse their gifts. After that I painted my nails black, found some DIRU sites (did you know that Die-kun has ticklish nipples? XD) and went to bed. Yay!


O_O How can he have ticklish nipples? XDDD

I had some weird dreams. I don't remember them, but they were weird. I'm serious. XD And my brother just finsihed eating a quesidilla.... dammit, I'm hungry. And my doggie is cute. And I crave sexy Kyo-ness. Atode. ^^;
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Sunday, August 13, 2006

   Aozora...
Current Mood: Happy
Current Song: DRAIN AWAY by Dir en Grey

Tadaima, minna-san!!! ^^ I'm sorry I was gone for so long, but I'm happy that I'm back from my vacation. It was pretty nice. Before I get into the details of my vacation, I'd like to thank everyone who commented on my last post and cheered me up in my time of need. If it weren't for my friends on the O here, I wouldn't be the same. :3 Anyhow, I had a pretty good trip over all. On Saturday we left early to go to my aunt's graduation and it took about 1 1/2 hours to get there. @_@ Whenever we got there my grandparents were already there and we sat next to them. We sat patiently and the graduation began. The thing is, I really didn't pay attention to the ceremony (except for whenever my aunt got her dimploma)... I was too interested in the woman speaking in sign language. It was so beautiful, I couldn't take my eyes off of her hands. I learned how to say passion, hope, God, and diploma in sign language from watching her. ^^ Anyhow, afterwards, we went to go congratulate her and she was very happy that she finally got her diploma (when she was 20-25 and went to college, she dropped out to marry her boyfriend and they later ended up divorcing. She didn't continue college until about 10-15 years later.) After that, we went back home to load up our bags into the car and pick up my brother's friend that was going with us. We finally got back on the road and sat in the car for a grueling 6 hours... next to my brother's friend who constantly hit on me and is a total perv. -_- I mainly ignored him and listened to my DIRU. And sleep. ^^ When we were just about 1/3 a mile away from the beach house we were going to stay out, my mom got pulled over for speeding (she was going 50 on a 35 road @_@). And we had Pizza Hut in the car. ;_; Luckily, he didn't give her a ticket, just a warning, and when we got to the beach house the pizza was still hot and yummy. >3 We then unpacked the car and then relaxed and went to sleep. The next six days, all we basically did was wake up, get your bathing suit and sunscreen on, go to the beach, come home, take a shower, watch TV (where I instead studied Japanese) , eat dinner, watch more TV (where I instead studied MORE Japanese) , go to sleep. There was an occassional time where we would go out for dinner and pick up a few things that we needed, but that was only about once or twice. During our vacation, we also got to see "Talledega Nights: The Legend of Rick Bobby." IT WAS AWESOME. While we were waiting for the previews to start they played a lot of Evanescence... I started mouthing the words and everyone was freaked out that I rememebered the lyrics even though I haven't listened to "Fallen" in about a year. ^^; They had a few funny previews, but the ones I was most excited about were "The Grudge 2" and "Tenacious D In The Pick of Destiny." "The Grudge 2" preview was scary as fuck, man... I had nightmares about it that night. XDDD And I was the only one in my family brave enough to watch it. Kinda sad. I can't wait to rent the movie on DVD and get the shit scared out of me-the Japanese version will mostly likely be better, though, like it always is (except for some movies, they are pure shit -_-). But anyhow, back to business. "Rick Bobby" was HILARIOUS (however, it wasn't as funny as "Anchorman"... nothing will ever be as funny as "Anchorman." X3). And if you live in the South like I do but like to make jokes about it, you'll LOVE this movie. They also mention my state in it a few times and filmed in places I've seen in real life, so it was kinda freaky but cool. ^^ My dad, a man in front of us, and I were laughing the hardest out of the theater... there were some moments where I thought I was gonna shit myself, I laughed so hard. And I love Karen the cougar (movie joke). XDDD So, go see it. Momo says it's funny. X3 Also, while I was at the beach, I saw and TOUCHED a baby sea turtle. At first I saw the turtle, he was on top of the sand and whenever the wave came up he dug himself into the sand. I completely freaked out-I ran up to my dad and screamed "DADDY!!! I SAW A BABY SEA TURTLE!!!" XD A few days after that I was digging a hole in the sand (because it's such a natural beach, little fishes would come up and swim around me and my dad ^^) and I picked up a handful of sand and felt something move. I freaked out and tossed it aside and then saw a baby turtle crawl into the sand!!! I really freaked out then... I started saying "OMG.... I just touched a baby turtle" like 6 times on end... I even had the shakes. XD Before we left, Mom bought me a charm of a baby turtle to put on a necklace. I'm wearing it right now. ^^ I also dug up a lot of pretty seashells... it helped me appreciate beauty more. I've seemed to be doing that a lot lately. ^^; My daddy also found really big sunglasses in the ocean and gave them to me since I've wanted some since FOREVER... he calls them my "Paris Hilton glases." -_- On the last day, we left to buy souveneirs and we got all sorts of stuff... I got my turtle necklace and a skull ring exactly like I had two years ago but lost. ;_; Have you guys ever noticed that the big chain beach stores (and sometimes independant stores) always have lots of nasty stuff in it? In the first store I went to, there were tiny little condoms, huge condoms (that I could stick my whole fist in O_O), a penis that grew in water, "Dick Tarts" and "Tit Tarts". In the second store they also had "Dick Tarts" and "Tit Tarts", bumper stickers with vulgar sayings on them, lighters with vulgar sayings on them, a "lovers'" dice, wind up toys that would jump but were in the shape of penises and breasts, and lots, lots more. There was one bumper sticker I really liked, though, because it said "Obviously, your mother smoked, drank, and dropped acid during pregnancy." Ah, that describes so many people I know all too well. X3 The guy that went with us showed me a lot of that stuff with a grin, which really pissed me off. -_- After that we went to Golden Corral and had a really tasty meal-and they had Vanilla Coke!!! ^o^ Love that stuff. ^3^ Then we had another 6 hour ride back, during which I listened ot DIRU again and slept. :D I was so happy whenever the guy that came with us left... he had hit on me, said tons of rude things, insulted my family, and made me uncomfortable whenever he was with us. I couldn't tell you how happy I was when he left... It was like Kyo gave me a hug. XD And I was also happy whenever I was able to cuddle with my doggy, take a shower in my own shower, sleep in my own bed, and have my Japanese dictionary back. ^-^ Momo is happy again.


DIRU-Every Japanese-obsessed girl's escape from reality.

All I really did today was eat lunch, go to Barnes and Noble and listen to Ministry and buy "Making Out In Japanese" (after assuring my father that nothing truly that bad was in it-and there wasn't), and getting on the computer. Yup. But I'm trying to cherish everyday I have for the next two weeks before I go to the dreaded high school. T~T I dun wanna go. *hugs computer* I wanna listen to J-rock and learn Japanese for the rest of my life. XDDD I'm sure I'll get real far that way. *cough*not*cough* Ah, God, I can't wait until I'm able to watch plenty of DIRU PVs on YouTube. Yay. ^//^
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