Monday, June 6, 2005

   Panda: The Self-Analysis Post

Thanks everyone, I feel so loved. ::huggles:: Despite what you guys said, I really truly am a very boring person. The best way I can describe myself is, dare I say it, nerd. After much thought while eating a bowl of Apple Jacks cereal I realized how "off the beaten path" I really am. Television, magazines and society as a whole has certain expectations of what makes someone "normal" or at least "a part of the crowd". Go outside of this box and you are "strange", "weird" or even worse -- Senor Cardgage (that's a Homestar Runner reference if you didn't know.). Take the following into consideration: - I am 29 years old, married for almost 10 years and don't have or want to have kids. - I love anime/manga and attending conventions. - I answer to the name Panda. - I am shaped like a panda. If you were to draw me you would only need circles (see dancing panda below). Pleasantly Plump Panda. - I wear glasses and have freckles. - I am only 5 feet 2 inches tall...er...short. - I can quote obscure Monty Python. Skits and movies. Don't make me prove it. - I absolutely love MST3K and have been to Hopkins, MN and got really giddy. - I spend hundreds of hours on the internet. - I have spent thousands of dollars supporting my anime habit. - The only vacations I take are to anime conventions. - My mind is filled with dozens of useless tidbits that will never help me....for instance: The Hula Burger was released in 1950 by McDonalds as a meatless burger substitute for Catholics to eat on Fridays. The Hula Burger consisted of a grill pineapple ring, american cheese on a bun. Needless to say it was a flop. Why do I know this? So I could share it with you peoples. Now you all know. And knowing is half the battle. - I quote literature, television and movies all the time. (see GI Joe reference at end of last entry) - I find pilots very sexy because I was influenced by anime as a child. No joke. - I have dressed up my dogs on Halloween to go trick or treating. For dog treats, not candy. - I spend too much time thinking about how others see me. - I worry about everything. I can't play first person shooters because my anxiety level gets too high and I feel sick. I don't want my character to die. - I love cheesy 80's hair bands. - I am disabled because I have 2 autoimmune diseases. - I make lists about my strange quarks. I could probably go on for days about all the weirdness I possess...but I am pretty sure you can see by my list that most of what is on there is not considered, I hate to say it, "cool". Why do we as people worry about what others think of us. Some people say they don't worry or care about what others think...but that means that they do at least think about what others think of them. We start to label people and put them into catagories, ourselves included. Most every town has at least one "crazy cat lady" or Senor Cardgage wandering around. Am I on my way to becoming that weirdo? When you become that person do you even know it? Even care? This makes me worry since if it is happening to me will I know it? I know from working at the vet clinic the "crazy cat people" would come in and smell like a litter box. I doubt they even knew they smelled that way since they are so use to it. When I would leave work and have to stop at the grocery store to pick up stuff I worried that I was the one that smelled like animals and didn't know it since I was so use to the smells at the vet clinic. Ya know what I mean? I am sure it happened so slowly for those weird people in society they didn't even know it was happening. And just where am I going with this? I don't know. I think I am just thinking out loud. I just want to ask you, where do you think you fall into society's view of normal? Do your hobbies and quarks make you a bit weird or are they 100% mainstream? What exactly do you think about yourself? Overall, I would have to say my view of my life is pretty meh. It has it's ups and downs but no matter what it is mine. And just for all of you I have put it on display here in my blog. You know, it's like a train wreck, you don't want to look but you just can't help watch the spectacle.

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