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myOtaku.com: NarutoBlackmail
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Thursday, February 23, 2006
I hope that love he gave you, was just enough to save you, you nearly broke my heart, just look at what you're tearing apart...
Listening: All American Rejects- Stab My Back
Feeling: Depressed
Watching: The fan on my ceiling turn
Drinking: Coffee
Thinking: Oh, God...
Wishing: I wasn't so sad
Hi everybody... How are you- ah, who cares...
.::Love...?::.
Remember when I said a lot of posts back how I am unable to love anymore because of what my friend did to me? Well, if you don't rememeber, here's a quick refresh: My so-called "friend" Vanessa went out with the guy I liked and she KNEW I liked him, yet she still went out with him. I felt crushed, broken, and betrayed. My emotions got fucked up so badly that it seemed as if Love got stabbed in the back and died.
But...
I'm starting to love again... and he is one of my friends. But he's so much older than me. He's at least 17 and I'm going to be 14 in a few months. No one could ever like someone like me, much less him... I know it's silly and dumb to love someone on the Internet and you never met him, but I can feel his emotions. It's as if... my heart is telling me to tell him, but my mind is telling me to shut my fucking mouth and stay quiet. What can I trust? I can't tell any of you OR him. Why? Simple.
I might be broken again if I tell anybody... especially him.
.::Thank Yous::.
Above my posts are a Thank You list to all of my friends on MyO who have helped me and have been the greatest friend to me I could ever ask for. If I have forgotten you, and you have helped me, please PM me to put you on the list. I don't want anyone to be left out. Look through the list to see if you're there.
.::Field Trip::.
The field trip I had yesterday was pretty cool. It made me feel better a bit. They even had an Orchestra play for about an hour, so we were back in time for 3rd Lunch, 5th and 6th period. I have no homework either. That's good to know.
.::New Theme::.
Like my new theme? I think it's better and calmer than my last. I have to be honest and say that I like it.
.::More Problems::.
*growls* Has anybody else been having comment problems? You know, you have over 11 comments then it goes down to 6? How you send PMs, and it says that there's a problem and it can't send it? How you're site won't open and let you post anything? Yeah, that's been happening a lot, huh? What the hell is wrong with MyO? Okay, if I don't get to your sites, comment, return PMs, or update, it's either all of the problems above. I apologize deeply if I do not get to you. Forgive me. *bows*
.::Sorry::.
I'm sorry for such a depressing post. I didn't mean to fuck your day up. I'm just... Sigh... I don't know... *laughs* I don't even know what the FUCK I'm feeling now...
.::Poem::.
"Emotions" by S.M.
When you are happy
I am happy
When you are sad
I am sad
When you laugh
I laugh
When you cry
I cry
When you are angry
I am angry
When you say nothing
I say nothing
When you step over the edge of a cliff
I do the same
When you jump off...
I do the same
Why?
Because
I love you
See you on the other side.
S.M.
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