Jump to User:

myOtaku.com: NarutoBlackmail

Monday, January 29, 2007

Time: 9:01 PM
Song: Lollipop Porn
Artist: Crazy Town
Feeling: Fantastic
Drinking: Cold Coffee


Dancing with the devil on the 13th floor
Non stop knocking on heaven’s door
Thinking faster flirting with disaster plastered
I’m your puppet master pushin’ proper data
Watch the city steal your soul as the drugs take control
And the problems of the world put your life on hold
You should have known by now that it just don’t stop
You like that rock hip-hop you make me grab my crotch

I got a lollipop porn bitch
Dead on arrival
A hardcore sex bitch turned
All caught up now taking my chances playing my song
While the devil dances ‘round me beggin’ me to play along

Now over the years I’ve learned to love the pain
I’m what you call a ladykiller with the gift of game
Triple X true that you do dat dat
Let it ride bring it back over 24 tracks
We’re gonna rock the fuckin’ block tonight
We’re gonna rock that shit gonna make it right
Diggi, diggi damn right, we’s dynomite
So we can do this or you can do what you like
I grab the mic and make it mine
I grab the mic and make it hype
So we can do this, or you can do what you like

I got a lollipop porn bitch
A hardcore sex bitch turned suicidal

I got a lollipop porn bitch
Dead on arrival
A hardcore sex bitch turned
All caught up now taking my chances playing my song
While the devil dances ‘round me beggin’ me to play along

Riding on the 3rd rail, taking risks, life is risky
The “E” stands for Epic and the “S” stands for Shifty
So let the good times roll, there’s no controlling us
Walking on water and kicking up dust
The boisterous, causing panic in the land of lust
The shellshock lollipop crazy down to make your body rock
Sugar I love the way your body talks
Now, whoever said that sex was overrated
Love leaves me devastated, life’s so fuckin’ complicated
Shifty say what, Epic’s a beat slut
And I got so many rhymes I can’t keep my mouth shut

I got a lollipop porn bitch
Dead on arrival
A hardcore sex bitch turned






Gravity Update

YAY!! My page finally got uploaded after 2 days!! :D LOL

Here ya go~ :3

When I See Your Smile...


I told my mom about my PE Teacher failing me. And amazingly, she didn't get pissed off. Instead, she told me,

"As long as you tried, I'm proud of you. And it's just PE, so don't worry about it. Just don't make getting an F a habit."

Somebody call the aaaambulance, I think I had a heart attack from shock.

She's NEVER this nice about me getting and F!! She usually bitches to no end and shoves my report card in my face. Well, I don't know why she was so nice, but I don't care. Better than getting yelled at. O_o


This is the big one that made my weekend. >3<

I was being a MySpace whore yesterday, and decided to play a prank on all my friends. In my About Me section, I wrote a paragraph explaining that I'm not really a girl, which as follows:

"Being Gender Confused is fun. Yes, the truth is out! SAM is really a BOY! He just looks like a girl because he got plastic surgery when he was 10 years old! WHAT A FAGGOT."

PEOPLE ACTUALLY BELIEVED THAT. EL. OH. EL. XD I got about 2 responses from my guy friends, especially Chris (the guy who got his ass slapped). He believed me, even after I typed at the bottom of my About Me:

"I am a sadistic liar, so don't believe everything I say. Just like when I said I was boy- so if you believed what I typed up there about my sex, you are one massive retard."

I even BOLDED that shit. XD I told him he won one free internets for believing me. Besides, we all know I did this for the lulz. You can read my whole About Me section up there. *points up* I changed my About Me in Otaku, so now you can LOL at the whole thing. :3

And yes, I'm a girl. <3

Discussion Time

WARNING: This Discussion has strong language, so be careful what you read. Then again, it's even funnier if you read through the whole thing, so NAUGHTY JOKES AHEAD!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARRRRNED

In our previous episode, Ichigo had drunk over 15 Strawberry Margaritas, which resulted in him getting very drunk and VERY out of character. NB and Hichigo are frightened of him now, and so... LET THE LULZ BEGIN

NB: Um, Ichigo? You okay there, buddy? O_O

Ichigo: *stands up* WHOA- Anybody but me notice all the pretty colors? It's like I'm in a crayon box... filled with every color of the rainbow... a RAINBOW BOX! 8D

NB: *snickers and tries hard not to laugh*

Hichigo: Hey, Ichigo? How many fingers am I holding up? *holds up 2 fingers*

Ichigo: *stares at him groggily and glares* How many fingers does it take to put in you until you cum?

Rukia: *spits out her drink in shock*

NB: *busts out laughing* OH MY GOD, WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?!! XD

Hichigo: *blushes* Uhhh... WHAT

Ichigo: *looks around and then starts to giggle* I AM SO FUCKIN' DRUNK!! FUCK!!

Byakuya: He's so drunk, he's acting the gayest of all gays. *smirks*

Ichigo glares at him, walks over, and jabs his index finger on Byakuya's chest.

Ichigo: Shut up, FUCKER. You're just jealous because I can swallow more cum than you can.

Byakuya: D8 *in shock*

Renji: BURNED!! XD

Ichigo: *wanders away*

Hichigo: Dude, he should go get him before he starts the Apocolypse in here. *runs after him but NB grabs him* Huh?

NB: No. Let him go.

Hichigo: WHAT?!! But, he'll just-

NB: Calm down, man. This should be very interesting. *smirks*

NB rummages through her bag and finds her video camera. She turns it on and begins to film Ichigo's every move.

NB: It's time to live up to my name, and BLACKMAIL. >]

DJ: Okay, folks! We have the DRAG QUEEN Contest next, so if you want to participate and get $50,000, enter now!! Men only, please. :3


Ichigo: O_O *runs over and signs himself up*


Two women walks over to Ichigo and drag him away to the back, telling him that they'll be his make-up artists and picking his clothes out for him.

Byakuya: Pfft, like HE'LL win. *glares in the air with annoyance*

NB: TRUST ME- Ichigo's going to come out looking like Jeffree Star when they're done with him. *smirks*

20 minutes later, the Drag Queen Contest begins!!

DJ: Alright! We have 3 participants, so let's bring them on out!!

The whole bar applauds, and NB and Hichigo (and the others) eagerly wait for Ichigo.


Everybody: OH. MY. GOD.

Ichigo's hair had extensions, which made his hair reach down past his lower back and dyed pink. He wore a pink leather jacket with a black and white striped shirt underneath. The women gave him remarkable eye shadow which was on perfectly. He had a spiked collar on with a frilly short skirt with knee-high black boots. He truly looked like a man-whore. Srsly.

NB: AND WE HAVE A FUCKIN' WINNER!! HAHAHAHAHA!! *continues to videotape*

Byakuya: Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Renji: *passed out from a nosebleed*

Rukia: Ichigo actually looks really good as a woman...

Hichigo: I am... really horny right now... I'm not even lying. I'm as serious as a serial killer. O_O

DJ: Alright! Our next drag queen to say something is Kurosaki Ichigo! Ichigo, what do you have to say? It can be anything at all.

Ichigo: I just have to say... FUCK YOU to all you jealous bitches that get mad that I'm fucking your boyfriends. And don't get mad that they suck my dick and then they make out with you after. HOE!! BARBIE HATES ME AND KEN FUCKED ME!!

The whole bar erupts with applauds and encouragement.

NB: Oh my GOD, he SO stole all that from Jeffree Star! D: What a bitch.

Hichigo: I am SO fucking him after the night's over.

DJ: Well, folks? Who do you think deserves to win?

The whole bar says Ichigo's name and the DJ shrugs.

DJ: Looks like we got a winner!! KUROSAKI ICHIGO!!

Everybody cheers in excitement.

Byakuya: Oh, shit. He did it... HE WON!

Rukia: Whooo!! Go Ichigo!! *claps* ^^

Hichigo: I hope he dresses like that at our wedding.

NB: *squeels* OMG!! OMG!! HE WON!! HE WON!! *jumps up and down*

Ichigo: I know, I'm really fucking famous now. X3

(PS: Half of the things Ichigo said are all from Jeffree Star. And if you plan on visiting his MySpace, watch out for his pink hair. ^_^)

Picture of the Day


*Turns into a crow and flies away*


Comments (17)

« Home