Monday, May 7, 2007

   old things/new things
its crazy how your old memories become new memories. this old boyfriend of mine just decided to call me out of nowhere. we got to talking and got back together! crazy i know. his name is tanner and he is gorgeous! the reason we broke up is cuz one of my friends named danielle told him that i was cheating on him with her. i am sorry but i dont swing both ways! I LIKE BOYS! honestly. i mean i have kissed girls but i dont want it to always be that way. i am not bi i am just an adventurous person.
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Friday, May 4, 2007

lovelessness
why would you fool someone into thinking that you love them when you really dont? my sister was with her boyfriend last night and he doesnt love her... he is just trying to protect me and she doesnt love him either. she just doesnt want him going out with me. i dont know why they are in a relationship if they dont want to be. it just doesnt make sense.
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Thursday, May 3, 2007

   pretty impressive
i had to take this retarded test today and i totally bombed it. so the teacher is going to let me retake it. its been a while since i was on otaku. Prom was pretty impressive and i had so much fun. even though half the time me and my date couldnt find something solid to talk about. we just stared at eachother half the time just smiling away. we danced almost every slow dance. i wish that i could say that our night ended good but it didnt. we decided we were hungry and this other couple invited us to go to dennys with them. so i called mi madre and asked her if i could go and she said yes of course. well on our way out of the parking lot (we werent even on the main road yet) and the guy that was driving sped up to 90 mph and got pulled over. the cop only got him on radar doing 38 but it was in a 25 mph zone. so we were waiting patiently for the cop to write up the ticket. he came back and asked the driver to go and talk to him. well 10 minutes later the cop came back and told us that the driver was getting arrested for a DUI. then he had us all step out of the car while he searched it. then the drivers date was taking a breathalizer and was over the legal limit of being drunk so she got arrested. the other cop was going to write me and my date a ticket anyways but the cop that pulled us over made us take breathalizers too. we blew 0 because of course we werent stupid enough to drink before PROM. so we walked to my dates house and told his madre the story and she just laughed at us. the cop that pulled us over was the very same cop that had pulled my date over earlier that day for a cracked windshield. my mom would have probably killed me if i called her from the station asking to be picked up for drinking. interesting night eh?
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Friday, April 27, 2007

la de la da!
so my sisters boyfriend is going to continue to be ignorant. he really loves her and its quite sad that she doesnt love him back. i feel pressured into being the bad guy because nobody else is strong enough or willing to step up and tell him that he is making a big mistake. he has been screwed over his whole life and the very last thing that i need, as his friend, is for my little sister to screw him over. i am one of his only best friends left. i really just want him to be happy. he deserves so much more than this! PROM is tomorrow and i am like so excited!! i get to go with my sister's boyfriend but he doesnt mind and niether does she. we are both seniors so we wanted to make it really special.
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Thursday, April 26, 2007

   what is wrong with you people??
so my sisters boyfriend knows that she cheated on him. he doesnt care that he is getting screwed over. he is ignorant. i guess ignorance is love. he deserves so much better. i liked him so much before him and my sister started going out and she asked him out. she acts like being with guys is a competetion and the more she gets the better. thats so wrong. i dont want to see him get hurt but then again it will look like i am trying to break them up if i say anything else. i dont know...i am so confused.
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Tuesday, April 24, 2007

loves and likes
people are so confusing these days. i dont really mind though cuz i can be confusing at times too. i love the way that nobody can understand me half the time. i am a puzzle and nobody seems to find even half the pieces. honestly i dont have a best friend that knows absolutly everything about me. i am pretty much an open book with my emotions but with everything else i am pretty much guarded. i am a leader not a follower so i do practically whatever i want to half the time. i love that i can be who i want and either people will love me or hate me for it. if i am hated i really dont care. i would rather be hated for who i am than loved for who i am not. thats my philosophy of life. if you dont like me...i could really care less. i am not going to change for anyone. i only like some things and honestly i dont love alot of things. yes i do love anmie. lots of it. i cant exactly name all the shows i like off the top of my head but if you ask me i will name them if you want. today has been a very interesting day. i havent felt more alert and like i dont want to hate life in a long time. yes i know i just came out of a mess. i might not be all the way out of it yet but i feel like i can deal today instead of hiding from my problems. jake is a jerk and i wont let him affect me. he might have been someone i was totally in love with but i cant do anything about it now. i have to move on if i want to live life to its fullest potential. i have a date this weekend but its more a friendly date than anything. he is my sisters boyfriend and i cant get attached so its kinda not a date. well see the thing is, she doesnt even really liek him but she stays with him and treats him like crap all the time. i dont even know why but she stays with him and its just going to ruin dating for the both of them if they dont admit how they really feel. i am personally against cheating so i cant stand that my sister is doing this to poor justin. she has two boyfriends that she says "i love you" and "i miss you" to. i cant stand it. why make someone suffer? i really like this guy named justin lippard. we did go out at one point in time. it was awful. i treated him like dirt and he didnt really care about me in that boyfriend and girlfriend sense like i wanted him to. its just better off as friends i guess. i also like this guy named clark hardy. he doesnt even know i exist and i even work with him. i am invisible and i dont like it. i think that i have wrote enough for one day though so i will go now...
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Monday, April 23, 2007

   my sister joined...
my sister joined so everybody visit her site...inuyashagirlie07...
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   drama drama drama!!
gosh people leave my none drama life alone!! leave me alone!!! i dont want neither do i need your drama anymore! my life has just gone from bad to worse!! the carnival sucked. my not so much boyfriend but i guess he was my boyfriend broke up with me on friday before the carnival. so i was stuck with my lovely sister and her boyfriend. they were sucking faces the whole time! i couldve killed both of them. i am not going to prom with jake and i am going with justin a. who just happens to be with my sister but she is grounded and cant go to prom. weird i know. i have decided to give up on dating people for a while and just enjoy life. weird i know!! well i am ok other than that drama and i dont have any drama except for that. so jake screw you and i am going to take advantage of life and live it up!!
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Thursday, April 19, 2007

   i think people hate me!
i dont like to piss everybody off it just happens. i dont try to be good at it but i am good at it. its not my personal goal to piss people off. i think that it may be everyones goal to piss me off. i have lost friends and sleep over this break-up. yes i care of course i care i just am leaving this summer for college so i am not looking to mend broken bridges if i dont plan to cross them. i guess i am taking the easy way out and leaving my so called problems behind. i might have to mend some broken bridges so i dont get screwed over later....which always tends to happen to me. lucky me. i have the wierdest feeling that i havent finished on pissing people off today. tomorrow the carnival, fair or whatever its called, is going to be in town! i get to go with a lot of people. my sister, her boy friend, jake and i think tanisha and gina might be coming too. gina might bring her little girl. her little girl is named faith and she is so cute. i really dont want kids until later so i can actually enjoy my life. selfish but not completly. idk i just dont know where my care is most important right now. i am not going out with anyone and people say that i am going out with justin a. (my sister's bf) or jake (not my bf but i wish it to be so) or justin l. (my now ex bf cuz i am entirely stupid) so i just wont give in to people's drama filled lives. i will just concentrate on what i think is important.
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Tuesday, April 17, 2007

   PROM!!!
tee hee hee!! i get to go to PROM!!! yay for me! so i am not going with my boyfriend but somethings come up and i dont think that we will even be going out much longer. why does everyone think that i am so attractive? it just doesnt make any sense, everyone decides to tell me that they love me right before i leave for college. and the worst part about it is the person who i want to love me doesnt. i guess i just have to be happy with the people who do love me...but i guess life is grand and that i can deal with whats going on. my life isnt that grand i was jk...my dad and mom are very sick. they are tired all the time and nobody in my family is willing to step up and take resposibilty except for me. i am the only one in my house with a job. i am so sick of responsibilty that its not funny. i work all the time. all the time like almost every day. my step dad is thinking about leaving us. in january. my family has been totally broke for the past two years. we are supposed to be going through a bankruptcy and the lawyer working on our case fired us. so thats whats going wrong. nothing seems to be going right. i act happy...i have gotten good at that. i am standing in the middle of a room packed with people, screaming and nobody seems to listen. i am tired of screaming but i will scream until i am heard. thats another reason why i write these posts...NOBODY WILL LISTEN!! life sucks and there is nothing i can do to fix it. i am trying but i doubt its helping...
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