Saturday, September 10, 2005

Ok... I finished drawing and inking in the two drawings I've been telling you about, I'll post them in my art profily thingy... and they should be up in around two days.... you'll just have to wait on them... when my Beyblade one is able to be viewed, I'll explain it a little 'cuz it might be a bit confusing, plus a little note might be hard to see... other then that, they should be up soon, and I'm thinking of posting up my other Kai wallpaper... there hasn't been any added since I added my last one... *gonk*

Ok... last night I wrote this, I guess I was sorta inspired but the first part of Hands Off, where the one girl trained herself... forced herself to smile everyday, no matter how bad she felt, and I thought, 'In a way that sounds like me' and I ended up typing this short story kinda thingy, and if anyone, this is dedicated to my two best friends, Ayaa and Kit, and I really hope they read it

My Friends Are My Life
I'm the kind of person who keeps on smiling even when I'm at my worst, sick or depressed. The only reason I'm like that is I don't want people around me to worry about me. I don't want to make people sad and worry, because I'm the one who helps them smile though the day. And even when my friends and I fight, I can't wait for us to put it behind us and laugh together again. That's why most of them don't know about my dreaded past, I don't want them to worry about something that seems to haunt me everyday even if I don't know it. And even if I could go back and change what'd happen, I wouldn't, no matter how bad my life continues to get, and even if I get pushed to the limits, I woudln't change my past for the world... If I did, I might not have ever made such great friends. The kind of friends I woudln't trade for all the money in the world, the ones that I can't wait to see, ones that I want to have for the rest of my life... They may not know it, but they are the reason I smile everyday, they are my reason for living everyday. I want them to always know I'll be there by there sides, if they ever need someone to turn to, or a shoulder to cry on, I want them to always trust me, and know I'll always be there to help. Though at times I may be annoyingly too happy, it's either because I don't want to see them sad, or it's because I'm just happy because I have such great friends who understand me. And I'm sorry if you may think I cry to easily, but that's my way of setting free the pain and secrets I bottle within myself. I know that might not be the heathiest way of doing it, but it's the only way I can keep smiling, making others happy. That's why I try not to worry so much about myself, because worrying about my friends, and their happiness is so much more important then mine.

I cried while typing the whole thing, I'm not sure why... maybe because I was happy to be able to say how I feel... well, I am happy I got to say all that stuff, and I really hope they read that, it'd mean the world to me, but I can't make them do anything... well... that's all I really need to say now... I may post later.... well... Later...

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