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myOtaku.com: MISS.MURDER


Friday, May 30, 2008


   it's been a long time...
and alot of shit has gone down. i'll try and break it down for everyone.

1.been hospitalized 4 more times
2.haven't done drugs in a hella long time
3.back to straight a's
4.back to my old ways
5.back to feeling like shit

only #3 && #2 i am actually proud of. i'm so done giving a fuck about everything and anything really. here's a quote from the perks of being a wallflower


"I don't want to start thinking again. Not like I have this last week. I can't think again. Not ever again. I don't know if you've ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That's why I'm trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning."


pretty much how i feel. lately i've just been getting stuck in my head, thinking, and then the guilt sets in. which brings me back to my "ways" and through therapy i have to remember stuff i'd really just like to keep in the back of my head has made stuff 10 times worse. i know most of you probably won't read this, most probably have forgotten me, lol, but i just guess i've needed to vent. the fact my mom is friend's with me on myspace doesn't help much because i really can't express my true feelings. it makes me think as though she doesn't want me to express how i truly feel. after all, i'm supposed to be the perfect child she always wanted. sorry mom, i let you down.


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