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Birthday
• 1992-12-30
Gender
• Female
Location
• On Earth!
Member Since
• 2006-04-21
Occupation
• Musician of the sort
Real Name
• Kellz

Personal

Achievements
• alot, and many more to come :]
Anime Fan Since
• 7th grade
Favorite Anime
• Hellsing, Death Note, FMA and Yu-gi-oh!. And perhaps Gravitation X]
Goals
• world's greatest violinist of all time, master conductor/compser, concert pianist and music major are my main ones.
Hobbies
• Music, art, writing, reading and drawing.
Talents
• Music, drawing, writing, and perhaps smooth-talking haha




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myOtaku.com: MilleniumRing


Thursday, July 12, 2007

   Ehehe....
Well....things didn't really turn out as planned. My dear Mother sorta found me, so I had to return to my life the way I had left it. But I was able to work on many things and I've finally gotten out of all the dark chains that I had fallen into. Sadly though, I am one who now carries a shadow past...dark secrets of what I've done earlier throughout the year must be burried. But certain people will try to ruin me..so I'll continue to fight and try to remain composed. I can't let dreaded mistakes ruin my chances for the future..
Well, anyways, even though I have renounced to my friends that I'm back to the way I'm supposed to be, I really haven't assumed my proper tag or identity or whatever. It seems I've shattered parts my life, my brain and soul and even my bare flesh, and just like glass it will be forever slowly to fix. But as I am doing so, I will try to live with people calmly and stay away from the bad ones with drugs and things like that. I'm not as strong as I'd like to be, so I'm not ready to deal with anyone like that. The next best thing is to avoid them.
So, I am back. And I'm glad to be back here^^ My life has been very quiet and to others nearly perfect. I live contently with my mom, and I get what I need, and all and all, I'm alright. But what they don't know is that my real mother doesn't even care for me (my grandma took care of me since I was 1) and my real father is dead. Money gets very thin around here, and my life is pretty tragic. I try to hide that from everyone because I'm the kind of person that can handle a rough past, but eventually it begins to pile on. I was molested by an older high school girl when I was 4, and my cousin took advantage of me when I was 7 and stole my virginity. It's pretty sick and sad. And throughtout my life I've always tried to help people, like my fellow classmates at school, but they'd always shun me. I never knew why. Some were jealous of the stuff I had. Others just plain hated me I guess. I mean, I wasn't that bad, I was pretty quiet actually, and sensitive. But at home I was spoiled. Whenever my real mother was "spending time" with me, something bad always happened. She taught me to lie, cheat, steal, I became a terrible child. I always had manners, but I was punished and beat alot for all the things I did. I eventually grew up from that though. And as for my father..he always treated me like the most special person in the world. He was always fun, kind, smiling at me. And I loved him for it, even though he was young (my real mother was pregnant with me at 16, and he was only 15). But when he up and dissappeared, we all thought he just ran off. ANd I was pissed. There were days I'd talk to my mom about it, and my friends. I'd shout to the skys, I had so much hatred for that. Then later on in life, I found out that he died in war. He was in the marines. All I felt was emptiness, as if my hatred all drained away. I'm not a regretful person, but I almost regreted that whole thing all together. So yes, my life is in fact the exact opposite from perfect. It might be even harder than my friends, who all have difficult parental lives. But they aren't as strong as I am, and I have sworn to be there for them, since no matter how hard or tragic my life turns to be, I still have what I need to live on. When the right tools are there, you're expected to use them. And when there are people who care for you, it's very..soothing. I never really knew what true friends were. After my social childhood of despair, I totally disregarded friendship. And ironically, that's when I met true friends. And later on I was able to relearn what it truly meant to value those friends. I'll never choose to forget these lessons again, even for love. I plan on dropping it once I'm in college since it's gonna be amibitous from there on, but I still will savor everything else. And though I really don't wanna look back to parts of my life, I won't forget my past either. Just like right now, there are times when it's good to reflect...
well, if you read all this, I'm impressed! Sorry for the extremely looooong boring post today, this is my longest post by record ehehe. But I didn't post my whole past, so it might've been longer haha. Maybe some other time..
Well, cya later everyone.
~K3
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