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Birthday
• 1987-10-23
Gender
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Female
Location
• New Zealand,Ak
Member Since
• 2003-09-16
Occupation
• Summer Girl Friend
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• Gin and Coke
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• Greening my site
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• Does it matter?
Favorite Anime
• I'm not sure
Goals
• Maybe get an apprenticeship...
Hobbies
• Painting pictures, painting models, painting in my head...
Talents
• I bet I could have an anxiety attack on command.
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Monday, March 21, 2005
All the time I wonder why I need you, 'cause I need ya!!!
No rest for the wicked. No wonder I'm so tired, oh my god, I swear I've been trying to nice, really.. I swear I've been cutting back on the mean things I say. Don't penalise me for the mean things I think though :P
My apologies for the slack update yesterday of my rabbit's butt and what-not. I was still feeling a little bland from the disco I was supervising. Yup, moi, supervising a bunch of 12-13ish year olds 'dancing' in a dark smokey room. My impression of the night was pretty much, "my my, don't kids grow up fast these days." The girls do at least. The guys were just enjoying the view. Seriously, why is everything becoming about sex? Sure it's suppose to feel great, blah blah, the apex of emotional release, but have they honestly lost the simple pleasures of expressing yourself in some other way aside from animalistic groping and dressing like a piece of meat?
Eugh, daylight savings has just gone by, giving me an extra hour to the day.. but it sure doesn't help getting myself back into a proper routine. At least it's light when I wake up, opposed to still being pitched black when I get up for school.
I was thinking, as one does from time to time, about the linearity of people's lives. Sure, some of us take the effort to break from the mould and try to do something dramatic with their lives.. but is it even possible?
We're born, we go through child hood and hopefully survive into some sort of adult hood in more or less one piece. The crux of the situation after that, is the struggle to make enough money to live and then die. I guess that's why it can be so difficult to let go of the little things, because in the big picture, life is no longer your choice... the entire war for resources is just an over-blown version for the struggle to make enough money to live long enough to die. I'm not making a stand that what we do is right or wrong, I'm just saying..
You can cut yourself open, but in the end that's all we are.
I guess I'm just scared I'll be living my life in a paint by number fashion, filled with ambition but not enough paint to risk going over the lines.
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