+ Name: Robert
+ Gender: Mellow sk8-3r
+ Birthday: 11\08\88
+ Location: Inside thoughts
+ Occupation: Me-ae's husband, skateboarder, poet,Mc ,lover.
+ Achievements: Being able to see
what other people are afraid
to notice, Not being a follower
but a leader in my own way.
+ Goals: To be with my wife and
live a long life.
♥Konnichiha my fellow thrashers of society i'm Robert♥
just your mellow skater living within his own tunes
and i have a girlfriend (Odetojoy) who i love to death!!!:)
Today i was told this.
this is what was said about me:
"Pssh, not at all a real poet.
If you were, you would know that ELLIPSE RAPE does not constitute reliable punctuation.
Where's the commas, the semi-colons? Where's the ACTUAL use of correct form, so-called "real" poet?
I don't see it and that makes me believe you aren't a real poet.
You're a faker; a tourist sitting in on real poetic discussion.
If you want to make your message believable, you're going to have to write like a poet.
First off: All those damn ellipses. They don't help at all and degrade this otherwise piece of s**t into something more biodegradable. Use standard punctuation and place pauses where they occur naturally. If you were to read it in the state you have now, it would take forever to get through all those omits.
Second: The capitalization here is stupid. You're not even following the classic form of "capitalize every first word of every line" because of the last part. Since this doesn't sound archaic, ditch that stupid s**t. Place proper capitalization where it needs to be: AT THE FIRST OF EVERY FUCKING SENTENCE YOU WRITE.
Third: You have makings of imagery but they're shallow, small; not there. You need to expand on this stuff. Give us better mental pictures and don't be lazy about it.
Finally: WHERE'S THE FUCKING POETIC DEVICES? You can't call yourself a poet if you don't use POETIC DEVICES in your own damn poems. Without them, a poem isn't a poem at all, but PROSE. You want to be a real PROSET or POET?
Read the fucking stickies and try again."
Here's another one:
"Um. Yeah. If you were truly "passionate" about your poetry, you would take the advice given to you by Nuno and Genesis (harsh as you may consider it to be) and use it to improve. I mean, if your poetry is your very soul, then don't you want it expressed in the best and most efficient way possible? You don't want any stains or mistakes on that soul.
he people on this board truly ARE passionate about poetry. We've studied it for years, perfected it, and are constantly trying to push ourselves to the next level. Rather than just dumping our souls out onto the page, we mold them and shape them into art using poetic devices, imagery, and TONS of practice.
Now, you have two options: either suck it up and take your crit like a man with the knowledge that the advice given to you is ultimately to help you improve, or continue to border on the edge of flaming the regs here and lose the respect of anyone on this forum who may have considered trying to help you."
One more for the show:
This is lame.
I will now take this time to explain, without sparing any detail: why.
My words flow onto paper as if that was my purpose....
My emotions spill forth upon it without concern for the outside world....
I'm within a league of myself. Uh huh. You're just awesome. Are we honestly expected to SWALLOW this arrogant sentiment?
I write because it's who i am and nothing else. zomg U HAS AN IDENTUTEE. :/ This does not belong in any poem, anywhere.
I have no contest to enter..... Good thing.
I have no birds to sing.... question confused
I have no beautiful sunset for you to read... Gag.
It's all inside me so how can you feel what you can't read. The outside world is not NEARLY as fascinated with "what's inside you" as you seem to be in this poem. In fact, they don't care at all. Keep this in mind when writing, and stay away from such tired phrasing.
As many struggle to prove their deepest in vocabulary words..
I fall fast through every sentence .....
Because most say they are true poets but.... Ellipses make you seem like a very, very juvenille writer, and are hardly ever justified.
...truly never get it. Imagine that.
Don't go making assertions of greatness until you've put in all the actual WORK that goes in to the understanding and creation of the ART you're attempting to create.
Learn to speak with style, and not like every typical young writer. Flee from the sappy and cliche, and study the works of the masters to learn some examples of what a voice like that really sounds like.
Now this is why i don't see myself as a poet..now
ask yourself am i a poet? please tell me the truth becuase as of now i have given up poetry.
98% of teens say "I love you" ... but only 2% actually mean it, if you are part of that 2% add this to your profile...P.s i'm part of that 2% XD Love you baby!!!<3
Mellowthrasher © Robert
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