Listening to: Lee Jun Ki - Foolish Love
Feeling/Mood: I wanna eat something sweet ^_^
Last film I saw: The King And The Clown
Last night I watched a Korean film - apparently Lee Jun Ki's best, 'The King And The Clown' and it was pretty good. He is a very good actor it was a very powerful film. The film industry is obviously not afraid to make films with such strong homosexual contents anymore and obviously, they used Jun Ki's feminine features to the full. 1st Brokeback Mountain, now this.
It had some very memorable guy on guy moments and one kiss scene got my attention and got me rewinding a couple of times LOL.
Well, I said on my last post that I'd explain a bit more in depth about my brother's passing.
My brother's name was Andy, he was 29yrs old and would've been 30 in December.
Basically my brother took his own life and I was the one who found him. He was found 5th Oct and there's no definite sure answer to why he did it but my brother showed symptoms of depression and we even found a book in his room about stress.
We know that it wasn't an impulsive act - he had planned it long ago. My brother did suffer a lot in life and I don't wana go into detail but I think he had had enough of life really.
It's also quite obvious that when someone decides to take their own life (and I mean planned it, not telling anyone, not giving any clues or signs or want to be helped) they're already not in the right frame of mind - and we know that my brother was unwell in his mind.
Till the end, my brother had the best relationship with me and I loved my brother so much - and I'm not just saying that now cos he's gone, but I actually loved my brother the most in my family.
I'm still angry, and I still ask questions like "Did I not love you or make you happy enough to keep living?", "Are you so selfish that you had to take your own life and leave me without a brother at all" and I'm so upset that he wasn't around to see me turn 18, or go to university, or see me get married.
I'm getting a lot of different up and down days. But I know that my brother isn't suffering anymore. He was really young and he was taken away way too soon, 29 years of age! But looking at his circumstances, his life, his suffering ... in a way he stayed here for too long.
I am holding up well because I've had so many friends and family helping me and thinking of me and praying for me.
Sooo that's it ... lol, all has been explained.
Now life can carry on :)
The memories of me with my brother can't be taken away from me.
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