Sunday, June 5, 2005

   so true, so true....




What Personality Do You Have?


Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.

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Monday, May 9, 2005

   so so so so so so so so so so so so so
ssssssssoooooooooooooo bored. i have so much homework to do and i'll give u any money it wont get done. things at school aren't as good as i'd like them to be, but hey u get what u get. i need to get my thumbtack. but last time i went to deep and now i have the extremly ugly (yet noticable) scar. god knows i'll end up doing it anyway. oh well thats just the way the ball bonces. so anyway i am crush and boyfriend free and thats the way i want it to stay. it was a huge mistake going out with nathan. besides he likes Mat more, well i guess he has too.(Mat and Nathan are now together). i just got back from my best friends house (stephi) its all good. we needed some hang out time, even if all we did was watch a movie. my mom still thinks i'm depressed. i still dont know why im rambling.... Stephi wants to bring some people to the teen center this friday. its all good, 'cept i dont know if these people will extactly fit in. on the other hand i know they'll get along with patti, and if you can get along with patti, your in.

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Saturday, April 30, 2005

depressing poem of the day
Daddy says I'm a whore
Mommy says I'm a sin
I don't know what to think
Seems like I can't win

Smartest thing I've done in a while,
picking up that knife
Finally being in control
Of everything in my life

the pain seems to last forever
as i always said
i'll be the one to say
when i'm finaly dead

i thought you would have cared for me
i thought you would have known
all the thoughts i held inside
the feelings never shone

i lie here in a pool of blood
in the open so everyone can see
how much i hate this fucking world
how much i just hate me

death was always on option
i've avoided for a while
but in my final moments
all i could do was smile

to leave this vile world
doing it my way
not giving a fuck how you feel
or what you have to say

let me die in peace
as the sun peaks to dawn
finally alone in this world
i'm finally fully gone



by: me, happy now?
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Friday, April 29, 2005

Garbage
well, last night i went to the best kick ass concert EVER! for those of u that don't know, Garbage is a band that came out of Madison, WI. rock/punk/goth type of band. like i said the concert KICKED ASS! alot of people where i live don't know about Garbage so i'm not sure if any of u do, but who cares, i still had a great time!
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Monday, April 18, 2005

   hell and back
things have been so wierd latly. first of all, i have a boyfriend. big thing for me. on another note i haven't been updating anything latly, my stories or these posts. my insomia is back to. great, long school days on four hours of sleep. im suprised i haven't pick up the thumb tact (hopfully my friends will get that). but on another positive note, Sir Paul MaCartney is coming to town and if i raise enough money, im going! going to be awsome, i love SPMC. thats all that really new. ttyl ~M-Chan16~
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Sunday, April 17, 2005

   and the survey says....

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Melissa
Birthday:	4/11
Birthplace:	hospital
Current Location:	home
Eye Color:	green
Hair Color:	copperish
Height:	5'5
Right Handed or Left Handed:	right
Your Heritage:	so much...
The Shoes You Wore Today:	hooker boots
Your Weakness:	dunno...
Your Fears:	immortality
Your Perfect Pizza:	lost of chesse
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	haven't decided
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	but why!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Thoughts First Waking Up:	i still have 10 minutes right?
Your Best Physical Feature:	dunno...
Your Bedtime:	whenever i fall asleep
Your Most Missed Memory:	my grandpa
Pepsi or Coke:	pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King:	macds
Single or Group Dates:	both
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	both
Chocolate or Vanilla:	both
Cappuccino or Coffee:	cappuccino
Do you Smoke:	no
Do you Swear:	hell yea
Do you Sing:	not really
Do you Shower Daily:	duh
Have you Been in Love:	not yet
Do you want to go to College:	as of right now? no
Do you want to get Married:	yes
Do you belive in yourself:	not really
Do you get Motion Sickness:	no
Do you think you are Attractive:	not really
Are you a Health Freak:	hell no
Do you get along with your Parents:	sometimes
Do you like Thunderstorms:	hell yea
Do you play an Instrument:	no
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	no
In the past month have you Smoked:	no
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	no
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	sort of
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	yea
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	no
In the past month have you been on Stage:	no
In the past month have you been Dumped:	no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	no
Ever been Drunk:	no
Ever been called a Tease:	no
Ever been Beaten up:	im usually doing the beating (younger siblings, u gotta love 'em)
Ever Shoplifted:	no
How do you want to Die:	haven't thought about it
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	EMT
What country would you most like to Visit:	Japan
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	doesn't matter
Favourite Hair Color:	doesn't matter
Short or Long Hair:	doesn't matter
Height:	doesn't matter
Weight:	doesn't matter
Best Clothing Style:	gothic/punky
Number of Drugs I have taken:	none as of yet
Number of CDs I own:	too many to count
Number of Piercings:	none
Number of Tattoos:	not yet
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	not droppin my brother hard enough when he was younger
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

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Tuesday, March 29, 2005

   poem
i need opions for the poem below
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Deeper emotion to Suicide
when reality is lost

when madness is laid down

when seeking unknown knowledge

when things can't be found

when forgotten emotions surface

when your losing grip

when time disappears

when blood is dropped

when pain is released

when the soul no longer exists

when "I love you” worsens reasoning

when all you want to do is be rid of everything

when all these things happen

Is when you want to die.

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Friday, March 4, 2005

Pep rally
the evil pep rally was today so my friends and I cheered for the rival school! it was sooo boring i started sleeping!

well im gonna chat with stephi now...

ttyl
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Tuesday, March 1, 2005

Another poem, untitled, what do u think?
another part of life
but people ignore
the birght light
at the end of the tunnel.
i ask why every day
while i walk down the hall,
or onto a bus.
do you know why?
the answer is lost in me,
as much as it is lost in you.
but then if it is lost,
why do we go searching?
we search for the question,
as old as time it self.
Why?
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