Thursday, May 24, 2007
This is long.. Please bear with it if you can...
Things haven't been going very well with me lately.
Honestly, I havenít felt very well. Physically, and especially emotionally.
I'm in a state of depression, to say the least.
I haven't been motivated to d o anything. And I had a horrific dream the other night that I can't get out of my head.
I'll tell you about it.
I'm sleeping (in my dream) but I wake up, and since my room is in the basement, I have to go UPstairs. I get up there and I see my dog Zeus in the hallway. (some of you may remember what happened to him. but if you don't know, he and my other dog got hit by a car and killed back in November of last year) But he starts walking towards me but once he reaches me, he disappears. So I turn around, but I have this feeling he's there again. So I turn around again, and he is.
So I walk over to him and I tart petting him. But I burst out crying. Which wakes up my mom. So I'm hugging her and crying and I ask her if she can see the dogs around us jumping and barking. And she says that she can't. But I could. So she said she'd go take care of my depression. And she just kinda, leaves the house at about 3AM. So I go back downstairs to my room and lay down. But as soon as I do, I wake up in real life. I looked at the clock and it was 3:15AM. It was really weird.
I miss my dogs soo much.
But then, today was my French teacher's last day at school. He's been called to active duty over in Afghanistan. And I really admired him. I was fine all day until I got home. And I was crying and crying.
So many things have gone wrong lately...
I don't want to bother you with all of hem. Maybe some other time. Or if you'd REALLY like to know, PM me or something and I might tell you.
I tried to visit today. I got to about 3-4 sites. I'm sorry. I just can't do it right now...
I hope you understand and can forgive me...
Until next time...