Birthday • 1983-06-17 Gender •
Male Location • St. Louis Member Since • 2003-08-03 Occupation • Real Name • Christopher (or Chris for short)
Personal
Achievements • running this blog for 4 1/2 years and finally being able to conclude it Anime Fan Since • I watched the original Transformers... I had no idea it was anime at the time... Favorite Anime • Dragon Ball, Bleach, Inuyasha, Naruto, Fullmetal Alchemist, Gintama, Eyeshield 21, Kinnikuman, Death Note, One Piece Goals • to make my happy ending come true by defeating El Diablo, the albino squirrel overlord Hobbies • video games, drawing (yet I have no fan art submitted...), watching anime, etc. Talents • I can change my voice into 10-15 others, maybe more...
myOtaku.com: lordsesshomaru
Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
LS vs. A Cold Opening Thought
Stale bagels are the hardest substance known to man.
Comment Response (12/4/07)
Blu-Ray is Sony's high-definition DVD playing format and the reason why the PS3 cost so much money when it was first released (in my opinion).
The Inuyasha manga has been running since late 1996 and I estimate that it will finally end in the spring of 2008. With most of the villains deceased, Kagome graduating from school (somehow she did it), one of the lead females also biting the dust, Inuyasha and Sesshomaru "settling" the dispute over their father's swords and Naraku molesting the whole Shikon jewel when no one is looking... added to the "Inuyasha now enters the final battle!!" messages on the manga-page cliffhanger notes, I'm sure that it's ending soon... unless Rumiko Takahashi feels like stretching it out even more...
Post for the Lazy
I feel a bit ill. There's a woman in China with backwards feet. A crazy driver goes, um, crazy in this week's Japanese video.
Sickness
I believe that I'm getting ill. My throat has had a mild tingling feeling annoying me from within for a day or so. My mucus output has increased exponentially. And my eyes and nose have been playing an odd game of "back and forth" since this morning. When my left nostril runs, my right eye burns. After a while, the right nostril runs and the left eye burns. What the---?!
On the bright side, I don't feel sluggish or weakened. It's probably a minor cold and nothing more. Mother always told me to wear layered clothing during cold weather. If I listened to her, I wouldn't have ran outside naked to check my mail. Not only did I blind my neighbor and possibly horrify him into a coma, I've also got a cold because of it. I'm sorry, Mother... *blows nose*
(Un)Happy Feet
The following image is bizarre, very much so. I heard about it on the radio this morning. Discuss it amongst yourselves.
A waitress has refused to be classified as disabled even though she was born with feet that face backwards. Wang Fang, 27, of Chongqing city in China, was born with her feet facing the wrong way, but has learned to live with her condition without problems and recently refused a disability pension.
Japanese TV
It's that time of the week where I display a video from our friends in the island nation of Japan. This week's offering is another prank video. This time, a man gets into the back of a taxi. What he doesn't know is that the driver is (possibly, more than likely) a professional stunt driver. The driver proceeds to take the poor man for the ride of his life, a hilarious ride that runs for 5:09 minutes. Maybe Six Flags or another American theme park can start an attraction like this, with some crazy guy driving people around an obstacle course. I know I'd ride it... or go home and laugh at the news reports about how the cars wound up upside down in a ditch underneath the Batman ride.
Pic of the Day (v2.0) #339
Anime: Naruto
Thanks to Reoku-Himura for the idea. ^_^
I need more Kleenex. *sniffle*
LS vs. Gasoline Opening Thought
The Inuyasha manga is finally close to ending now that Inuyasha is facing Naraku (who has the completed Shikon no Tama) in the final battle. In related news, the Devil currently needs some hot chocolate and pigs have earned piloting licenses.
Comment Response (12/3/07)
Santa... isn't... real...?
My goal is to have the shelves set up by tomorrow. It's not even that hard to put them together. I'm surprised I didn't get around to fixing them up earlier.
I don't really own a banjo. The only musical instruments that I own are a recorder (cheap, piccolo-like instrument) and a kazoo, both from my childhood. One day, using those instruments, I wish to start a band called "Restraining Order".
Post for the Lazy
Extra gasoline was bestowed onto me for reasons unknown. I took a quiz to determine my mental disorder. Jaken answers another question.
Gas
Every once in a while, something interesting happens to me at the gas station. Whether it is getting hit on by a wig-wearing senior citizen at the register (no matter how many times I shower, I still feel dirty to this day) or watching people dance as their car fills up, the gas station occasionally gives me material to talk about here. And for that, I am grateful. I guess. Moving on, I always pre-pay for my gas with cash. Nothing against those who use a credit card for that, but I only use my card for things that are truly expensive (which can apply to gasoline, depending on how much you need). You have those people who charge for packs of chewing gum. Why...? If the gum came with a Blu-Ray player, I'd understand. But the gum alone? What are you trying to prove, Mr. Moneybags? Eh?!
I paid for $15 worth of gas (not enough to fill my tank, enough for the time being) and the cashier rang it up. I went outside, pumped my gas and watched the little meter run. When it got to $14.50-$14.60, I expected it to slow down as it normally would. Nay. It continued at full speed, well past the $15 mark. It went until it reached a little over $21. My tank was full, thanks to the extra gas. I'm not sure if it was a human error or a computer error that caused the freebie. It doesn't matter. I got gas! I got gas!
Never shout that in a crowded room, unless you want people to completely steer clear of you.
Quiz
I rarely take quizzes, but I came across this one on inuyasha luver118's site and it sparked my interest.
What mental disorder do you have?
Your Result: Paranoia
You are constantly thinking about what others may be saying about you behind your back. You may also feel people have conspiracies against you, or they are out to get you. In crowds you may feel like everybody is watching to closely.
I suppose that's true if you replace "people" with "animals".
Every Tuesday, my assistant Jaken will answer one question, any question, from you guys. Several people send questions to me, but I'll only use one at a time. If yours isn't used, please be patient. Chances are that I'll get around to having Jaken answer it sooner or later. And now, today's question...
from M. Armstrong
Why does the world need to turn?
Jaken says: Because if it didn't, there'd be a soap opera without a name.
If you'd like Jaken to (sort of) answer your questions, please send them to me via PM with the subject line "Ask Jaken". ^^
LS vs. Christmas Tree Opening Thought
Be aware of the legal system in the areas you travel to. I jaywalked at the North Pole and received 40 strokes across the back from a giant candy cane.
Comment Response (11/30/07)
Thanks to everyone who read "Animation Elimination" this weekend! All of the votes have been tallied and a new episode will be availble on Friday, as usual. I mean "as usual" as in "on weeks when I have new episodes". A new one should be ready every week until the week of Christmas when I'll be taking a break.
I'm pleased to announce that the votes were properly cast, meaning none were cast for the champion and none to "vote people off". Thanks again! My disclaimer/notice/thing helped, eh? However... someone voted for three people who weren't even in the competiton. I'm not sure if it was a joke or just a result of super-skimming through everything. O_o
Seto Kaiba is a character from Yu-Gi-Oh!.
Post for the Lazy
I rearranged furniture for a friend. Christmas trees are discussed. Santa is told to get on a treadmill.
Furniture
Co-worker/friend Kim received a Christmas tree for her relatively small home and needed assistance in moving her furniture around so it could fit. A portion of my Friday evening was spent moving coffee tables, armchairs, rugs and sofas. This was done while a hyperactive Scottish terrier did laps around me, unaware of the fact that if he made me slip, the armchair I was carrying would crush him like an ACME anvil. That lasted until Kim sent the dog into her bedroom and closed the door (which should have been done from the start, bah). It's funny. My laziness appears to only affect me at home. The shelves that I purchased are still unassembled but the furniture at someone else's house has been moved around. Hmm.
Her boyfriend was in the process of bringing the tree back from whatever forest he robbed it from, so I didn't have to worry about that part. I've never been one to use real trees at Christmastime. The clean-up afterward is too much for me. Plus, all types of critters could come out of the tree bark after I set it up. I remember reading a news story about a family setting up a Christmas tree and then having a raccoon or a 'possum come out from the branches. I guess that's not a bad thing if you live in a backwoods area straight out of Deliverance. The creature comes out of the tree and BAM! You have yourself a bonus Christmas dinner.
Hey, St. Nick: Put down the cookie America's top doc said yesterday that Santa Claus should slim down, in the latest blow struck in a global politically correct crusade against the jolly fat man. "It is really important that the people who kids look up to as role models are in good shape, eating well and getting exercise. It is absolutely critical," acting U.S. Surgeon General Rear Adm. Steven K. Galson said in an interview after a presentation on obesity at the Boston Children's Museum. Touting NFL players who work with kids to promote healthy lifestyles, Galson added: "Santa is no different." Santa's waistline is the most recent casualty in a war which has already taken away his pipe (note from LS: Santa had a PIPE?) and his ability to scoop children up and sit them on his knee.
Some American Santas are taught not to greet people with "Merry Christmas" in case it offends people of different faiths (note from LS: tell that to the government; Christmas is a FEDERAL holiday...), according to Tim Connaghan, founder of the International University of Santa Claus (note from LS: such a place exists? How are they doing in the BCS rankings?). And the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas agrees with the acting surgeon general that Santa is just too fat. The organization has suggested its 800 members lose weight in time for its July convention to "set an example." "While childhood obesity is a serious problem, we think Santa is fine just the way he is," said Donna Rheaume, spokeswoman for the Massachusetts Department of Public Health. But she added: "We would recommend people leave him healthier snacks this year like a nice apple or carrot and celery sticks (note from LS: you're just begging for a lump of coal if you do), which have an added benefit because they are tasty for his reindeer, too."
If Santa Claus loses weight, give him back the pipe and he'll transform into Willie Nelson.
LS vs. Mr. Freeze Opening Thought
To get in shape, hit the gym.
To get smarter, hit the books.
To get some sleep, hit the hay.
To get arrested, hit the policeman.
Comment Response (11/29/07)
Yes, "Kaze no Kizu" is the Wind Scar for Inuyasha. I don't feel like going back and translating the other words in my intro yesterday... no one asked about them anyway, Lol.
Post for the Lazy
Animation Elimination continues with an all-new episode. Children name the two naughtiest people on Earth. I'm colder indoors than outdoors.
It is time for another episode of my comedy fanfiction reality TV/game show spoof, "Animation Elimination". This week's episode re-introduces the show's sponsor, Seto Kaiba. Another group of characters who briefly appeared last year return and have a greater presence this time around. As for the more advanced "words" used in this week's chapter, you are free to look them up in a dictionary if you want to know what they mean (except for the one that I made up). If you'd like to read previous episodes, here's a link to the archives.
Now, when it comes to voting, every week a few people get confused. Allow me to clarify things. First, please DO NOT vote for the champion. The purpose for voting is to help your favorite characters stay on the show. The champion is guaranteed to stay until next week, so there is no reason to vote for him/her. Second, as I just mentioned, votes are made to keep people on the show, NOT to vote them off. It's like how you can call in to American Idol to vote for your favorite singer, not for the singer that you want to leave. I hope that this clears up any confusion from before. Thank you! ^_^
After a break last week, Animation Elimination is ready to roll again. The fans fill the seats in downtown Tokyo's Kaiba Arena. The youth for whom the structure is named, Seto Kaiba, stands high above them all from his private luxury box. He takes a sip from a martini and sets the glass down on a transparent table. Kaiba then sits comfortably in a soft reclining armchair. A beautiful young woman enters the room, holding a clipboard and a pen so she can take notes.
Naru: Good evening, sir! Thanks for giving me this job! After my appearance on the show last season, I was hoping that you'd invite me back and--
Kaiba: As my new secretary, I want you to be quiet and speak when I tell you to. That... and to walk my Pomeranian dog, Professor Winkles, whenever I say so.
Naru closes her mouth and allows her employer to speak.
Kaiba: I'd like a ratings report. And what happened to the pizza I ordered three hours ago?
Naru is still quiet.
Kaiba: You may speak now.
Naru: Oh! Okay... overall ratings haven't been as high as last season. However, TV ratings have been declining everywhere, so it isn't our fault. The pizza you ordered did arrive on time, but Goku intercepted it in the lobby and quickly ate the whole thing.
Kaiba: Who the hell is Goku?
Naru: The man you hired as an announcer... there he is in the booth down below. He's going to introduce the hosts.
Goku finishes off a 36" sub sandwich. He wipes the crumbs from his mouth and does his job.
Goku: Caution! You're about to enter a No-Spin Zone! Here are your hosts, Ren and Stimpy!
Mugen and Éclair walk onto the set, their heads hanging low in shame.
Kaiba: Doesn't that idiot know their names? Even I know that they're... they're... um...
Naru: Mugen and Éclair, sir.
Kaiba: I knew that.
Mugen: Goku is a walking advertisement for why you shouldn't sniff spray paint, kids.
Éclair: Let's bring out our contestants for this week's elimination!
The ten remaining contestants appear, being led by L. L wears the championship belt around his waist. Behind him are Sango, Hiei, Pikachu, Kakashi, Rangiku, Faye, Roy, Zoro and Chiyo.
Mugen: Let's cut to the chase. The person going home this week is... Roronoa Zoro.
Zoro: What? ME?!
Éclair: I think the animal rights people took offense when you tried to kill the monkeys.
Zoro: But I love monkeys! My captain's first name is MONKEY!
Mugen: Oh yeah, Monkey D. Luffy... we had him on the show last year. He killed an old lady in episode 2, right? Your crew must be full of psychopaths and murderers, eh Zoro?
Zoro grumbles and takes his leave. The nine remaining contestants line up, awaiting their challenge for the week.
Éclair: This week's event is a spelling bee.
Rangiku: Bees can spell? Whoa!
Éclair: Two minutes into the show and she's already drunk. Anyway, I'll give you all a word and you'll have to spell it correctly. If you misspell a word, you're out. You can ask us to define the word or use it in a sentence, if you think it would help.
Hiei is the first to go.
Éclair: Hiei, your word is "overcome".
Hiei: Hmm... use it in a sentence.
Mugen: If you take too many Viagra, you might overcome.
Kaiba: *spits up his martini*
Éclair: MUGEN!
Hiei: Heh. O-V-E-R-C-O-M-E.
Éclair: Correct. Pikachu, your word is "antidisestablishmentarianism".
Pikachu: PIKA?! O_o
Pikachu looks around nervously and lowers his head in defeat.
Mugen: You got it wrong, so you're out. *blows on a flute*
A squad of Oompa Loompas walk in and drag Pikachu away.
Éclair: Them again?!
Mugen: We have to use them once a season. It's in their contract.
Oompa Loompas (singing): Oompa loompa doopa da dell, this is what happens when you can't spell. Oompa loompa doopy da doo, now we'll beat the living crap out of you.
Pikachu is dragged into the darkness of the backstage area. The sounds of punches and kicks, along with Pikachu's shouting, are all that can be heard.
Everyone: ...
Éclair: Kakashi, your word is "windbreaker".
Kakashi: That's two words, isn't it? Use it in a sentence.
Mugen: Uncle Charlie's butt becomes a real windbreaker if he eats Mexican food.
Kakashi: I doubt that's the proper usage, but whatever. W-I-N-D and then B-R-E-A-K-E-R.
The Oompa Loompas march onto the stage and drag Kakashi away.
Kakashi: NO! I'm sure that it's two words! Let me go! Help! Not in the face, not in the face!
Éclair: Rangiku, your word is "whiskey".
Rangiku: *looks at bottle in her hand* W-H-I-S-K-E-Y.
Éclair: Not really fair, is it? Oh well. Let's move on to Faye. Your word is "deoxyribonucleic".
Faye: How come the boozed-up Barbie doll got an easy word and you give me that?
Éclair: Spell it.
Faye: Oh, that's better. I-T.
Éclair: Not that! Spell the word!
Faye: T-H-E W-O-R-D.
Mugen blows his flute and the Oompa Loompas take Faye away.
Éclair: Roy, your word is "dwarf".
Roy: E-D-W-A-R-D E-L-R-I-C.
Éclair: Correct. L, your word is "opprobrious".
L: That's simple enough. O-P-P-R-O-B-R-I-O-U-S.
Éclair: Correct. Sango, your word is "clamtiferious". Huh? This isn't a word...
Mugen: It is if you're Don King.
Éclair: *sigh* Sango, spell this instead. "Metamorphosis".
Sango: Please use it in a sentence.
Mugen: There was a jerk at school today, Sis... I guess you could say that I met-a-mofo-Sis.
Éclair: *smacks her forehead* That was horrible.
Sango: Um... M-E-T-T-A-M-O-R-F--
Mugen: You know that's wrong. *blows flute*
The Ooompa Loompas remove Sango from the stage as they did with the other contestants.
Éclair: All right, Chiyo. Your word is "kitty".
Chiyo: Just because I'm a kid, don't go easy on me. Give me a tougher word! ^_^
Éclair: If you insist. Spell "hymenopteran".
Chiyo: I've never heard that word before. Uh, could you please use it in a sentence?
Éclair: MUGEN! Don't... you... dare.
Mugen: Aw man. I had a good one too.
Chiyo: This one is hard... can I go back to "kitty?"
Mugen blows the flute again and the Oompa Loompas take Chiyo away.
Chiyo: You wouldn't beat up a little girl, would you?
Oompa Loompas (singing): Oompa loompa doopa da dids. We will also beat up little kids. Oompa loompa doopa da date. We make sure not to discriminate.
Chiyo (thinking): I've got to get away somehow...!
Éclair: Round two! Hiei, your word is "peppermint".
Hiei: P-E-P-P-E-R-M-I-N-T. Hmph.
Éclair: Rangiku, your word is "elimination".
Rangiku: *looks at the sign above the stage* E-L-I-M-I-N-A-T-I-O-N.
Éclair: Jeez, you lucked out again... um... Roy, your word is "woodpecker."
Mugen: Please ask me to use it in a sentence... please... I'm begging you...
Roy: W-O-O-D-P-C-K-E-R. Wait... no! I forgot the first E!
The Oompa Loompas grab Roy to take him backstage. The Flame Alchemist puts up a fight until one of the small creatures zaps him with a Taser.
Roy: OWWWW!! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO ZAP THE GROIN?! WHY!?!
Éclair: L, your word is "lepidopterous".
L: Sentence, please?
Mugen: Um... I've got nothing.
L: Definition?
Mugen: Who am I? Merriam-Webster?
L: Some help you are. L-E-P-I-D-O------OW!!!
Chiyo has just run underneath L's legs. Behind her were a group of Oompa Loompas that proceeded to trample over L. He is now lifeless on the stage floor.
Éclair: I guess we're down to two. Hiei, your word is "angiosperm". And not a word out of you, Mugen!
Mugen fidgets around, suppressing the urge to make a dirty joke. Hiei clears his throat.
Hiei: A-N-G-I-O-S-P-E-R-M.
Éclair: Correct. Rangiku, your word is "latitudinarian". Rangiku?
Rangiku has passed out, the empty bottle of whiskey clutched firmly in her drunken hand.
Hiei: YES! I win by default! Now give me the championship belt, you fool!
Éclair hands the belt over to Hiei. Kaiba nonchalantly struts onto the stage.
Kaiba: That was... different. But someone's getting fired because I can fire whoever I want.
Éclair and Mugen: Uh-oh...
Kaiba: Goku, you stole my pizza. You're fired.
Goku is holding his stomach. It burns and bubbles, boils and burbles, forcing the dimwitted Saiyan to his knees. The Oompa Loompas place him on a stretcher and carry him away.
Oompa Loompas (singing): Oompa loompa doopy dee dig. These things happen when you eat like a pig. Oompa loompa doopa da dismol. Someone get us a bottle of Pepto-Bismol.
Naru: Sir, if I'm not mistaken, the pizza was poisoned.
Kaiba: How can you tell?
Naru: The note on the box says so.
Kaiba: Ah, I see.
Naru: If Goku didn't eat it, you would have been poisoned and possibly killed. His gluttony saved your life.
Kaiba: So someone is trying to kill me, eh? I wonder who.
Mugen (sarcastic): I can't imagine who. You're such a likeable guy.
Kaiba: I am, aren't I? Tell that Goku idiot that he still has his job... whenever he gets off his porcelain throne in the restroom...
Éclair: That's it for this week! Please vote for your top three characters!
Cast your votes in the comments area or by PM/e-mail! Choose three people and only three! Thanks!
LSN returns on a Friday (I forgot to have it on Monday... oops). I couldn't resist posting this one.
Britney and Paris top Santa's naughty list: poll
NEW YORK (Reuters) - When Britney Spears and Paris Hilton open their stockings on Christmas Day, they shouldn't be surprised to find a lump of coal. A poll of American children released on Wednesday found that the two high-profile celebrities should top Santa's naughty list. By contrast Disney star Hannah Montana, played by country singer Billy Ray Cyrus's daughter Miley, was overwhelming deemed the "nicest" celebrity among children aged 2 to 12 while actress Angelina Jolie was the choice for teenagers 13 to 17. Spears and Hilton beat out Swiper the Fox from the television show Dora the Explorer, the Grinch from the book "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" and Darth Vader from Star Wars among children 2-12. When asked what makes someone nice, children mentioned "cleaning up and doing chores," "sharing" and "being honest and polite" as ways to impress Santa. On the flip side, they mentioned "not listening to parents," "being mean and bullying" and "being snobby" as behaviors exhibited by those headed for the naughty list.
NOTE: So those two trollops are worse than the Grinch and Darth Vader? And people say that the youth of today isn't as bright as it used to be.
Cold
There isn't much else to talk about. I'm pretty cold at the moment. My toes and fingers are like icicles. However, if I go outside, I feel warmer. I'm not sure how that works out. The funny thing is that I'm watching the first Mr. Freeze episode of Batman: The Animated Series as I type this. Hmm... there's a man in this episode who looks just like Mitt Romney. Weird. Back to Mr. Freeze, maybe he's freezing me through the TV. Like how when Arnold Schwarzenegger played Mr. Freeze in that movie, his acting skills made me vomit from the movie screen.
LS vs. Captain Planet, among other things Opening Thought
I'm not sure why some Japanese songs have random English words inserted. Maybe I should start talking like that, but reversed. *clears throat* Hello onigiri. Welcome to atatamete hoshii my website. Hakkenshi I hope that you genki dama enjoy the post today kaze no kizu.
Comment Response (11/28/07)
The "superhero" in my pic of the day yesterday was Captain Planet. I cannot stress how much I
hated that show. Those stupid kids would never call Captain Planet until near the end of each episode,
when they could have called him at the beginning and ended the problem just like that. And Captain, don't give me that "we should fight our own battles" crap as an excuse for not "relying" on your power. You're the frickin' star of the show. Earn your paycheck, you blue-skinned buttface. As a child, I turned on the show to watch you, CAPTAIN PLANET, not those kids you hired from the Racial-and-Ethnic-Stereotype Brigade. I don't give a damn about that boy and his monkey! Fight already! *calms down* Moving on...
I wasn't expecting anyone to look up Miri Hanai after I mentioned her yesterday... *ahem*
As a major fan of the Dragon Ball manga, I hate to say that the upcoming movie will probably
suck. But if it sucks on the level of that unoffical DB movie from 1989 or whenever, then it'll be
awful in a good, MST3K kind of way.
Post for the Lazy
My actions today were sloth-like. Another opening video is posted.
Sloth
This is one of those days where I don't feel like doing anything. It goes without saying that I have these days regularly. I laid in my bed earlier this evening, staring at the ceiling as my Bleach download finished (episode 150, featuring Nnoitra, the 5th Espada... with some type of giant spoon behind his head). I do that a bit too often. Like how Shikamaru Nara stares at clouds, I stare at my ceiling. Not because it is fun, not at all. I do it in hopes of falling asleep for a brief nap, but whatever caffeinated beverage I consumed moments prior will flow through my system and keep me awake. So I wind up staring at the ceiling with 0% motivation to get up and do something else.
Sometimes I'll see a spider scurry across, taunting me along the way. The little beast knows that I'm too tired to get up and takes advantage of the situation. Some Raid will kill him later. And if I'm out of Raid, I'll use Lysol or Glade. While the chemicals in those cans aren't really bug-killers, the cans themselves are. SMASH! That'll learn 'im, whenever I have the fire to do something about it. Maybe I'll have more pep tomorrow. It isn't likely, but one can always hope. *yawns and reaches for the TV remote* Come on... too far away... use the Force... float to me... float I say! Argh.
I seriously need that monkey butler.
Theme Thursday
Every week at this time, I display an anime opening video of my choosing. What I'll do from now on is post the opening video for the series of who was recently eliminated in "Animation Elimination", my comedy game/reality show spoof (new episode tomorrow). Last time, it was Sha Gojyo from Saiyuki, so the first Saiyuki opening is below. It is an action series known for starring a quartet of pretty boys (or as fan girls call them, "bishonen") that drive around in a jeep, kill demons, curse... argue... and then threaten each other, drink beer and smoke cigarettes all within each episode's 30-minute time limit. The animation in the series is bright, clean and sharp, although very limited and basic most of the time. And the storytelling... some episodes are mediocre, decent at best; others have writing that makes Hamtaro look like a work of art. Like that matters. Girls who watch it do so for the attractive males on-screen, guys who watch it do so for the badass attitude the characters carry into battle. It isn't often that you can see a Buddhist priest spewing profanity and bustin' caps in demons with a handgun.
LS vs. Trick Knee Opening Thought
Asides from the Honey Nut Cheerios bee and a few others, food mascots make no sense. What the hell does a stork have to do with pickles? Why is Mr. Peanut encouraging us to eat his family? Why are Fred and Barney still shilling for cereal after their TV show ended decades ago?
Comment Response (11/27/07)
The blue bird Muppet is Sam Eagle. I used to love "The Muppet Show", my favorite characters being the old man hecklers from the balcony.
As I said before, egg nog can be nasty, but also delicious, depending on who makes it. Some recipes are good, some are downright awful. That Egg-Beater stuff... that was just nasty. *shivers* My brother was the smart one. HE didn't drink any of it. But me? Well, you know the rest...
I'm going to copyright the phrase "ass in a glass".
Post for the Lazy
My knee is giving me trouble. I am a psychic. Japanese guys play soccer in this week's video.
Do Re Knee
My right knee hurts for reasons unknown. After I got up from sitting in front of my computer last night, it started to bother me. The knee's been giving me trouble since then. I wasn't sitting any differently from how I normally would, nor was I perched in the seat for longer than usual. Maybe I'm getting a "trick knee" like the ones that old people like to ramble on about. "Yessir, this trick knee o' mine has been acting up since dubya-dubya-eye-eye." At least they have heroic and/or cool stories to tell about their knees, like how they took a bullet from a Nazi sniper in the 1940s or how they originally damaged the knee while scoring their fifth touchdown during a college football game. Me... I'll be at the nursing home, rambling to the children who visit about how my knee was mysteriously injured as I sat in front of a computer with a bowl of Doritos in my lap...
Nostradumbass
I doubt the pain will last that long. My prediction is that it'll heal up by the weekend. Hmm... my predictions are fairly accurate... like... um... 35% accurate. Correct predictions of mine include: stating that a live-action Dragon Ball movie would be produced before 2010 (it's currently slated for August 2008) and that the St. Louis Cardinals would win the World Series in 2006. Incorrect predictions include: believing that Miri Hanai would have married me back in spring 2005, Mr. T would win the U.S. presidential election in 2004 (he wasn't even running... but that would have been all kinds of awesome) and that I'd win the lawsuit that I filed against my neighborhood squirrels in December 2002.
Japanese TV
This week's offering does not top the "tiger on the toilet" from last week. Then again, WHAT could possibly top that? Nothing, that's what. So I'll just move on to today's video. It features a group of Japanese men playing soccer while having a pair of binoculars strapped to their skulls. Not only that, but there's a guy walking around wearing a bunny mascot head. At least I think that's a bunny. And I'm not sure, but the male host at the beginning looks like "Vic Romano" from SpikeTV's MXC series (a.k.a. "Takeshi's Castle"). Running time - 2:17 of vision-impaired men in striped long johns.
LS vs. Egg Nog Opening Thought
Chris Hansen's "To Catch A Predator" series on NBC has inspired a spin-off hosted by Lou Dobbs called "To Catch An Alien" where illegal aliens are trapped when they apply for jobs at Home Depot. An inevitable "Caught: Alien vs. Predator" live-from-prison crossover special will be aired at the end of the season.
Comment Response (11/26/07)
Thanks for all of the supportive words for my father (and his love for his turkey dinner)! ^_^ I am sure that he'll be able to get through this. The cough he has is possibly just a simple cold. After all, those things do start making the rounds at this time of the year. That reminds me that I need to stock up on surgical masks and hand sanitizer for whenever I go out in public...
Yes, I've heard of the Japanese "human Tetris" video. I've posted it before. Maybe I'll do it again tomorrow if I can't find anything else.
I didn't make the "Kenpachi Fried Chicken" image in my introduction above. Personally, I find it to be hilarious, so there it is.
Post for the Lazy
I ate cookies and egg nog. A story from my past involving my uncle is shared. Jaken answers another one of your questions.
Egg Drinks
With the Christmas season comes the traditional beverage known as egg nog. Depending on who created it, egg nog's taste ranges from exquisite to urine-esque. At The Job, The Boss brought in some homemade holiday cookies that his wife prepared along with that non-alcoholic (d'oh!) egg nog that comes in a milk carton. Those things look ridiculous to me. Those, and the gallon-jugs of iced tea that some fried chicken places sell. Anyway, The Boss is a notorious cookie-and-sweets fiend, but he is also generous. The cookies and nog were his way of welcoming us back from the Thanksgiving vacation. A bit early for Christmas cookies... ah, who cares? They tasted good. I love that red/green colored sugar that gets sprinkled on cookies at this time of the year... mmm... colored sugar...
The egg nog reminded me of the time when my uncle (the cat worshipper) bought my brother and I some small cartons many years ago. It didn't taste very good. If I could have given it a proper name, it'd have been "ass in a glass". Ugh. Upon further examination of my carton, I noticed that it was actually that liquid-egg substitute crap that vegans use for baking. I'm not sure who was more stupid: my uncle for buying the stuff and thinking it was egg nog... or me for drinking it without reading the carton first. It could have expired in 1976 and I wouldn't have known until I drank it. Cripes.
Every Tuesday, my assistant Jaken will answer one question, any question, from you guys. Several people send questions to me, but I'll only use one at a time. If yours isn't used, please be patient. Chances are that I'll get around to having Jaken answer it sooner or later. And now, today's question...
from twilight samurai
Ok, if little babies come from women with bellies that have been stung by many bees, then where do baby imps come from? You are an imp, right?
Jaken says: Oh, this is in reference to my answer to the "where do babies come from" question a few weeks ago. Yes, I am an imp. Impin' ain't easy. I'm telling you, it's hard out there for an imp. I couldn't answer your question myself for I've never had any children of my own. Pfft, when I was asked about where human babies come from, I resorted to bothering kids at the playground to get an answer. Each time I'd ask a child "HEY KID! WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?", they'd either cry or call me a retarded Muppet, or both. This time, I played it safe and called up my dear old mother, Eunice, to get an answer to the question of where baby imps come from. Below is a transcript of our call.
Jaken: Mama? It's me, your son Jaken! Eunice: Huh? Damn... Jaken: I have a question to ask-- Eunice: How did you get my number? I changed it and have it unlisted. Jaken: Can I ask you someth-- Eunice: Don't call me ever again. Jaken: If this is about your cat, I'm sorry. I didn't see him in the driveway when I was backing out... Eunice: You call me again and I'm calling the cops. *hangs up*
I hope that answers your question.
If you'd like Jaken to (sort of) answer your questions, please send them to me via PM with the subject line "Ask Jaken". ^^
LS vs. Petition Opening Thought
Monday, people hate you. Not me though. You and me are cool. But most people just can't stand you, Monday. Why can't you, you know, be more laidback like Friday or Saturday? And return my calls, dammit.
Comment Response (11/21/07)
All of the images on my last post were, for the lack of a better term, reruns. I wasn't in the mood to create anything new.
I'm thinking of cancelling my "Japanese TV" Wednesday segments because I don't think I'll ever find a video more bizarre than the tiger-on-the-toilet insanity that I shared last week. Maybe I will. Who knows?
The woman in my "Mind of LS" image is Japanese gravure model Miri Hanai.
I fear hippos because of their sinister actions displayed in a recently-aired Animal Planet special (namely hippos playing around with a dead wildebeest's body that was floating in the river).
Post for the Lazy
The world's deadliest assassin says something strange when taken out of context. My father enjoyed his Thanksgiving dinner. I bought new shelves. A group of whiny kids creates a Naruto-related petition.
Dragon Ball Quote Taken Out of Context
I had forgotten about these. A while back, I'd regularly post quotes from Akira Toriyama's Dragon Ball manga that would sound dirty if taken out of (or even left in) context. Here's another one.
Taopaipai: "My assignment is to kill you, since you are interfering with their quest for some balls." (chapter 86)
Taopaipai was probably hired by the Village People.
Turkey Day
Thanksgiving came and went as it does every year, except for this year differing by having my father eat from a wheelchair. The nursing center let him come home for Thanksgiving dinner. Things didn't look good for him though. He has developed a horrible cough and a weezing problem to go with it. I've been told that he is also taking medication for that as well. With all the other pills they have him on, the insides of his traveling bag make it look like he just robbed a Walgreens pharmacy. I'm not worried; worrying doesn't do any good and it's best to be strong and hope for the best. With the way he gobbled down his dinner, I'm pleased that he still has a hearty appetite. ^^
ShelvesAteMyRamen
Haha! Get it? Since I'll be talking about shelves again and... heh... *ahem* fine! You try to think of a clever pun for the word "shelves!" Bah! Anyway, I did go shopping on "Black Friday". Unfortunately, I didn't get to see a fight, a brawl, a melee, not even a simple skirmish or donnybrook. Rats. The only thing I purchased was a new set of shelves to replace the ones that fell down not too long ago. They're still in the package, waiting to be assembled. I'll get around to it eventually. Maybe I can hire someone to set them up for me... then I'd have to pay them... man, it sucks being not only lazy, but cheap too. *yawns*
Petition
And to wrap things up today, here's a link to an online petition pleading for Cartoon Network not to air the 85 filler episodes of Naruto that follow the current "Sasuke Retrieval" arc. I think this is a waste of time (just like most of the Naruto anime itself; I prefer the manga by a landslide... the constant crying and overly-dramatic sad flashbacks don't seem as bad in written/comic form) and I'm only posting it due to its absurd premise. I remember the days when people would have petitions for important things, like ending world hunger and creating more handicapped parking spaces...
Pic of the Day (v2.0) #333
Anime: Bleach
I didn't have cute female bullies at my school. All of them looked like Hulk Hogan, moustache and all.
How was your Thanksgiving?
LS vs. Tiger Family Opening Thought
Just because a turkey gets stuffed, it doesn't mean that your face should be stuffed too. Try not to overeat-- ah, who am I kidding? Dig in, pig out and pass out... that's the LS way. Have a great Thanksgiving! ^_^
Comment Response (11/20/07)
Thanks to everyone who left comments about Imageshack not displaying my images. I re-uploaded them, so hopefully they're showing now.
I don't fear spiders. I despise them and I punch them barehanded whenever I get the chance. They live in my home without paying any of the rent.
I had forgotten about that image until recently. My mind still looks like that besides the addition of a hippo bearing its fangs.
Post for the Lazy
I talk about Thanksgiving and Black Friday. Another odd Japanese video is posted, this time dealing with our friends #1 and #2.
The Holiday Spirit
This is my last post until Monday. I'll be spending time with my family and feasting upon the remains of a dead bird surrounded by assorted grain products and processed vegetables. Thanksgiving is back to fill our tummies once again. As much as I enjoy being with my loved ones, I'm looking more forward to shopping on Black Friday. I won't be buying any gifts for anyone besides myself during that time. My main reason for going out on Friday morning is to observe the insanity of the shoppers as they fight over discount DVD players like a pack of starved dogs who just had a raw steak tossed into their midst. It really is a sight to behold and best experienced in person. I'm hoping that I can get interviewed by the local news as the witness to a department store scuffle.
Japanese TV
It's Wednesday, so here's another video from Japan. This one is an oldie, but a classic worthy of being displayed on my final post before the Thanksgiving holiday. And whenever I use the word "classic" on this site, rest assured that I mean "what the hell is this?!" My love for anime and Japanese culture has caused my friends to make a few comments about Japan being a "weird" country. I fight hard to defend the island nation, citing that their culture is just different from our own. And then something like THIS comes along to make my job a lot more difficult.
Today's video is undoubtedly the strangest thing I've ever posted. Ever. It's an animated video (subtitled into English) featuring a family of tigers, two parents and a young child. They live in a suburban home together as all tigers do. In fact, my neighbor is a tiger. Heh, that sounds like one of those comments someone makes when they don't want to seem like a racist. "I don't hate tigers! Um... uh... my neighbor is a tiger! I had tigers at my house for dinner last night!" But I digress. The parents in the video are teaching their child how to use the potty by singing about urine and fecal matter. It's every bit as peculiar as it sounds, especially the live-action segment at the end. Running time is 2:34.
The Best of the Pic of the Day (v2.0)
Anime: several
LS vs. Cannibals Opening Thought
If I have an opening thought... does that mean there should be a closing thought as well?
Comment Response (11/19/07)
The anime figures in my collection are your basic run-of-the-mill action figure assortment that you can (or could) find at most retailers. For those who asked about my figures, I'll list them off (excluding models, vehicles, etc.). The overwhelming majority are from Dragon Ball Z, there are also some from Kinnikuman, and one from Naruto (the last figure I've ever purchased, that was in 2006). For non-anime related: I have a lot of older Spider-Man, X-Men, Ninja Turtles (the ones from the 1980s) and Ghostbusters. For videogame related: Soul Calibur II and Resident Evil. And there's also an Ash from the "Evil Dead" movie series. The only ones displayed now are the anime and videogame figures (each are complete sets of figures... I made a comment about my figure-whoreness on EAMR's site, LOL) along with Ash. The others are from my childhood and, as such, are battered from the wear and tear one would expect from anything owned by a 6-10 year old boy. They're safely stored in a box inside my closet.
That was my longest comment response ever. O_o;;
Post for the Lazy
The horrors of dancing turkeys and sadistic hippos are discussed. Jaken answers some more questions.
Animals
While flipping through the channels, I came across a TV station promoting a Thanksgiving Day marathon by having a dancing cartoon turkey. It looked as happy as could be. These things disturb me a bit. Mr. Turkey is having a blast, unaware of the grim fate that he faces on Thursday. And if he does know, it's like he's saying "Hey hey! Eat me! Yippee, I'm going to die! Weeee!" I'm not a vegetarian by any means (my well-known hatred of PETA and its ilk prove that) but jeez. Today's Pic of the Day loosely ties into this concept.
I then switched to Animal Planet to watch a special about the hippo. In cartoons and most works of fiction, hippos are made to be incredibly kind, gentle and, well, stupid. In reality, they are brutal and won't hesitate to @#$% you up. I witnessed a crocodile take down a zebra in a river, only to get shoved aside by a hippo. The hippo then proceeded to feast upon the zebra. Oh yes, hippos do eat meat on occasion. Then there were a group of drowned wildebeests floating in the river. The hippos played around with the dead bodies before letting them go downstream. O.o I'm adding hippos to my list of things that scare me.
List of Things That Scare LS
1. men in thongs
2. hippos
3. Care Bears Movie II
Every Tuesday, my assistant Jaken will answer one question, any question, from you guys. Several people send questions to me, but I'll only use one at a time. If yours isn't used, please be patient. Chances are that I'll get around to having Jaken answer it sooner or later. And now, today's question...
from M. Armstrong
What would happen to the world if everybody said "red" instead of "darn"?
Jaken says: I've never met anyone who says "darn" outside of a children's TV program. Feh. I hate those pseudo-curse words like "darn" for "damn" and "heck" for "hell". Since those words actually have the same intent and meaning as the original curse word, I'm not sure why they aren't considered to be bad too. Maybe they're like diet soda... similar but without as much bite as the original. I guess to answer your question, I'll say that Saturday morning cartoon dialogue will change, but that's about it.
Hero: I've foiled your plans again, you villain! Villain: BLAST! RED YOU! RED YOU ALL THE WAY TO HECK!
If you'd like Jaken to (sort of) answer your questions, please send it to me via PM with the subject line "Ask Jaken". ^^
Pic of the Day (v2.0) #332
Anime: Dragon Ball
scanned from manga volume 5
Now what sound does a walrus make?
