Birthday • 1983-06-17 Gender •
Male Location • St. Louis Member Since • 2003-08-03 Occupation • Real Name • Christopher (or Chris for short)
Personal
Achievements • running this blog for 4 1/2 years and finally being able to conclude it Anime Fan Since • I watched the original Transformers... I had no idea it was anime at the time... Favorite Anime • Dragon Ball, Bleach, Inuyasha, Naruto, Fullmetal Alchemist, Gintama, Eyeshield 21, Kinnikuman, Death Note, One Piece Goals • to make my happy ending come true by defeating El Diablo, the albino squirrel overlord Hobbies • video games, drawing (yet I have no fan art submitted...), watching anime, etc. Talents • I can change my voice into 10-15 others, maybe more...
myOtaku.com: lordsesshomaru
Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
No need to race to be the first one to comment. Today's post is about 35-40 minutes later than usual to throw people off. I'm evil that way, bwahahaha!
"The Legend of Elless" was very well-received. Thanks for all the kind words. I don't hit home runs like that very often. I usually get a 3-2 count and repeatedly foul the ball for the next 9-10 pitches. I may do another recap like that sometime in the future.
No, the cat pictured in my last post was not my uncle's cat. I doubt he'd let me take a picture of his personal deity, even though he has hundreds on his walls and crammed into photo albums.
The quote in my site's title (at the top of your screen) comes from episode 57 of my "Inuyasha Mockery" comedy series. It's a personal favorite quote of mine and I felt like using it this week.
What you see above is apparently, allegedly, and most of all, abnormally, a pillow of some kind shaped like a woman's lap. Lonely men in Japan, like Pervert-san in the image, can purchase these things and rest their heads on a lady's lap without having to worry about those pesky sexual harassment lawsuits. After all, it is just a lap without an upper half and that means there is no mouth to say "get the @#$% off of me!" I'm not sure how much these things cost, but I want a dozen or so. No, not for the reasons you're thinking of (even I would never stoop that low). I plan on tossing these at trick-or-treaters on Halloween when they come to my door. Now tell me THAT wouldn't scar their minds for life.
In a way, that's actually worse than their original purpose...
Japanese TV
More from our friends in the Land of the Rising Sun... this week's video is a simple 1:41 collection of pranks. I may have posted this before. Forgive me for my fuzzy memory. Because of some bizarre odor wafting in from outdoors, I recently sprayed a ton of air freshener around my home and the smell is getting to me. My brain may feel funny, but at least the place smells like freshly cut spring flowers. Bah. Do all air fresheners have to be so girly? It's always Apple Cinnamon or Country Flowers or French Vanilla or something along those lines. Where are the manly scents? Like Beef Jerky, Motor Oil and Beer Vomit?
Shopping with Co-Workers Jared and Kim During Our Lunch Break Jared: *puts two DVDs on the counter*
cashier: All right. Oh! If you pick up two more DVDs, you'll get one free.
Jared: Wha-?
cashier: We're having a "buy 3, get the 4th free" deal.
Jared: I only want these two, thanks.
cashier: Are you sure?
Jared: Yes.
cashier: You'd be saving money.
Jared: I'm saving money by not buying another DVD. How is adding another item to my total going to "save money?" I only want these TWO. Nothing else.
cashier: OK, OK. Would you like to sign up for--
Jared: Holy crap, WHAT did I just tell you...?!
Kim and I came to the conclusion that the cashier was trying to use a Jedi mind trick on him. This idea came around after we stopped laughing at Jared's misery. That's what friends are for, eh? If today's post seems shorter than usual, that's because it is... I think. I'll make up for it on Friday with a new "Animation Elimination" and a mini-review of whatever anime video thingamabob I'm posting on that same day.
LS vs. Her Majesty's Crown Anniversary Comment Response (01/18/2008)
Thanks to everyone who read Animation Elimination! I was a bit surprised with who'll be getting axed on Friday... not because of the elimination, but because he got destroyed by the other two contestants who were up for votes. It wasn't even close, Lol. Find out who it is this Friday.
I usually type my stories throughout the week, starting with a quick rough draft on Monday and then adding/removing things from that as the days go on. Last week was a rare instance where I did the whole thing in one day.
Pikachu's tirade was the most, um, "popular" (for lack of a better term) part of the story. This might not be the last that you see of him... heh heh...
The Pic of the Day was referring to a series of commercials run by the Applebee's restaurant chain which feature a talking apple having conversations with potential customers. The apple is voiced by Wanda Sykes, an irritating comedienne who appears to speak through her nose. I'll post a YouTube clip sometime, if one exists and if I remember to search for one...
"Laugh now, humanity. Get a good chuckle out of this. One day... one day, the feline revolution will come. And when it does, those who did things like THIS to us will be the first to perish..."
Some people that I've run into during my lifetime have dressed their pets up in goofy things like that. If you know me, you already know about my hatred for pets in clothing or costumes. But... this could serve a purpose for those who don't want to neuter their male cats. Dress him up like in the image above and he definitely won't win any love from the opposite sex. Neutering = obsolete.
My Mother
My mother's birthday was on Saturday. Because I don't want to bore you with a dry, sappy, family story, I'll be creative with what actually happened.
THE LEGEND OF ELLESS
chapter XXXIV - In Service of the Queen
After journeying through the deadly caverns of Shoppingus Mallin for what seemed to be a fortnight, I found myself battered, beaten and fatigued. My quest to obtain a rare artifact for the Queen's Crown Anniversary had failed. Piisee, my squire, informed me of another method to claim a valuable treasure for Her Majesty. Through his connections, I could summon marketplaces from all over the globe. Piisee can be unreliable, however, with his constant desire to distract me with imagery of scantilly-clad strumpets and magical tests of skill. 'Twas unlikely that any of their wares could reach the kingdom in time anyway. So I polished my armour and made the decision to return to Shoppingus Mallin.
The sales-harpies, jewelry-wielding trolls and the perfume-breathing dragons all fell victim to my blade, the legendary sword Getthehelloutofmyface. The trek through the caverns was perilous, but in the end I retrieved the Faux Fur Lined Jacket of Burlington. Once a hasty retreat was made, the time came for the Queen's Crown Anniversary ceremony. Her Majesty was most pleased with the treasure I bestowed upon her as it would prove useful during the frigid winter season. My trusty steed Pontiac carried us to the main festival hall were we would dine along with other members of Her Majesty's royal court. One of the guests, a bizarre court jester who worships his cat like a deity, became lost on his voyage and could not accompany us. I can honestly say that I shed not a single tear.
The feast was glorious. Fish from the depths of the sea and the finest ale money could buy was served all around. 'Twas a merry time indeed. Although, I was besmirched upon encountering a female standing outside the men's lavatory. With further examination, I noticed that this "female" had facial hair and was in fact a man in the guise of a woman, or at least I deeply hope so for she was quite an unattractive damsel. I dared not question what manner of sorcery he/she underwent to transform into such a state, nor did I tarry there any longer to witness which lavatory he/she would enter. Once the feast had concluded, my brother, the brave knight Sir Jeff, sent his warmest regards from his location in the sandlands across the Atlantic Ocean. The Queen was overjoyed with all she received, both from the homeland and abroad. The day could not have gone any finer.
Pic of the Day (v2.0) #352
Anime/Game: Naruto
The Tick: "Not baked goods, professor. Baked BADS."
Really? My site font is smaller? It looks the same to me. I guess I'll have to make the font really big, like those vision-test charts the DMV used to have...
Really? My post was short last time? It seemed long to me... maybe you're faster readers than before. Or I misjudged my typing in Notepad.
Really? Someone had a dream about me? It happens more often than it should. I climb into your dreams at night like the Freddy Krueger of myOtaku.
Real-- *ahem* Enough of that. Yes, I own a DDR mat... I'd rather humiliate myself at home than at an arcade.
Behold, Fanfic Friday is upon us once again. Today we continue with the "Animation Elimination" series and are down to the Final Four. I wrote the entire chapter on Thursday in one sitting because I had more free time than usual. I think it turned out better than I originally expected, but as I've said before, it doesn't matter what I think. It's what you think that counts. This week, the finalists are going....... on a date. With who? One of the all-time queens of anime fanservice, that's who (pic included, va-va-voom!). If you'd like to read previous episodes, here's the link to the archives. And now, on with the show!
Kaiba Arena fills with spectators as it does every week. These people are anxiously awaiting a new episode of Animation Elimination. They cheer, they holler, they buy beer from the vendors. Seto Kaiba, main sponsor and operator of the series, watches from his private luxury box with his secretary Naru Narusegawa nearby. Mugen enters the room to have a few words with his employer.
Kaiba: Ah, Mugen. Do you need me to help solve the puzzles on the Happy Meal box again?
Mugen: No, not today. I was wondering if I could have a raise.
Kaiba: A raise? As in a bigger salary?
Mugen: No, not that either. I don't eat salary unless it's with peanut butter. I want more money.
Kaiba: And just why exactly do you need more money?
Mugen: I want a plasma scre-- uhh... well, you see, my wife is pregnant with triplets... added to the seven kids we already have, it'll make our situation at home very stressful. Some financial assistance would be greatly appreciated.
Kaiba: You lying sack of crap... you're not married and you don't have kids.
Mugen: Heh, according to my bachelor-turned-husband friends, that makes me lucky. But you got me; I was lying. Come on, man... give me a raise.
Kaiba: I'll tell you what. I'll cut your check in half, and then DOUBLE it. Then I'll permanently increase it by the same amount as the New Year's bonus I gave you. How does that sound?
Mugen: AWESOME! You rock Kaiba-san, no matter what everyone else says behind your back!
Kaiba doesn't know what to think of that last statement. Mugen happily runs from the office to brag about his alleged newfound fortune. Naru shakes her head and turns to her boss sitting in his plush recliner.
Naru: Sir... cutting his check in half and then doubling it... that sets the number to how it was before. You know... cutting six in half is three and then doubling it is six again... plus you never gave him a New Year's bonus.
Kaiba: I know. When you have as much power as I do, you have to know how to wield it or else people will take advantage of you.
Naru: Very true, sir. By the way, that animal rights group called again. They need more money to help save the endangered dodo bird... hmm...
Kaiba: Give them another check for five million yen.
Naru: Right... no one takes advantage of you, sir.
~~~~~~~~
Mugen and Éclair are on the stage. Goku has not introduced them yet. Mugen doesn't seem to care, as he is too busy gloating over his imaginary pay raise. Éclair gets impatient and taps her foot. Goku is jealous over Mugen's "raise" and refuses to help until he gets one too.
Éclair: GOKU! INTRODUCE US!
The Saiyan pretends that he doesn't hear her from his place high above the platform below. Éclair calls him on her cell phone. It goes straight to his voicemail.
Machine: You have reached the voicemail of--
Goku: --hey Chi-Chi, this is the strangest remote control I've ev--
Machine: --please leave a message after the beep.
Éclair doesn't leave a message. She puts her phone away and decides to go on without him.
Éclair: Welcome to Animation Elimination everybody! Let's bring out our contestants for this week's elimination!
L is the first to appear on the stage. He wears the championship belt upside down around his waist. Hiei, Pikachu, Kakashi and Roy follow after him. One will be going home, leaving the others in the final four.
Mugen: OK, the person going home this week is... Pikachu.
Pikachu: PIKA?
Éclair: Sorry, little guy. You received only one vote last week...
Pikachu: PIKA!!! PIKACHU PI PIKA PIKA PI PIKACHU CHU PIKA! PIKA PIKACHU!!! PIKA!!!!!
Kaiba: Bleep all of this, Naru. I have no idea what he's saying... he could be cussing us out...
An irate Pikachu is surrounded by security guards. He breaks a beer bottle and threatens to cut them with it. Pikachu points the makeshift weapon at his would-be captors. Mugen draws his samurai sword and smacks Pikachu across the face with the flat side of the blade. He is then shoved into a pet carrier and escorted off the stage.
Kakashi: Now I can cross "have a yellow rabbit cuss at me" off my list of things to do before I die.
Éclair: He's not a rabbit! *ahem* And now it's time for this week's event. You men in the final four will be competing in a special event. You'll be going on a date with her...
Éclair points to the far end of the stage and the legendary Fujiko Mine from Lupin III is there.
Fujiko: Hey boys. *giggles*
Kakashi: HOLY SH--- uhh.... SHARINGAN!
Roy: Oh no you don't. You're not tricking me like you did with those Sailor Scouts. How old is this one? 12? 10?
Fujiko: I'm in my 20s.
Roy: Oh, in that case... baby, my name isn't Ford, but you can ride this Mustang. *winks*
L: Hmm... she doesn't interest me. She would if she was covered in sugar.
Roy: Great idea, L! You're not as lame as I thought you were, man!
L: I didn't mean it in a perverted way-- wait, you... thought I was... lame?
Roy: Isn't that what the L stands for?
L: ...
Mugen rolls out a large Wheel-of-Fortune style wheel. Listed on it are several locations for where their respective dates will take place. The choices are as follows: Dinner, Movies, Mini-Golf, Dancing, Hotel Room, Beach, Amusement Park, Shopping Mall, Lady's Choice, Bowling, Coffee Shop, Ski Lodge.
Mugen: You'll each spin the wheel. Whatever it lands on is what your mini-date with Fujiko will be. Whoever impresses her the most wins the event this week. L, you go first.
L takes the first spin. The wheel whirls around until it lands on Coffee Shop.
Fujiko: How do we get there?
Éclair: GOKU! Get down here and teleport them!
Goku: I'm on strike!
Éclair: No, you're on drugs! Get down here or Kenpachi comes back!
Goku: NO! Not the Boogie Man! O_o
Goku leaps down to use his Teleportation technique to take L and Fujiko to the coffee shop. When the date is over, he'll take them back to the arena. Like a gentleman, L holds out a seat for Fujiko. L then climbs onto his chair in his usual, abnormal manner. Goku brings them some coffee cakes and two cups of coffee.
Fujiko: Uh... why do you sit like that, detective-san?
L: I was a catcher for a little league team as a child. It's a force of habit, I suppose. *eats a cake*
Fujiko: Uh-huh. You don't get out much, do you?
L: Oh, I get around. I was hoping that we'd get "Movies". That new movie "Akira" looks pretty good. *eats another cake*
Fujiko: ...
L: I can tell by your appearance that you're the type who attracts a lot of men, but you also reject a good majority of them. You also seem to be drawn to money and wealth. Since you know that I'm a detective, you're acting nervously. This is because you're a criminal who steals most of the income that you bring in. Am I correct in making this assumption? *eats another cake*
Fujiko: Actually, I'm nervous because you look like a reanimated corpse--- hey... how many of those cakes are you going to eat?
L: I usually eat them until the manager throws me out.
Fujiko: *sigh* Next.
Goku takes them back to the arena. Hiei spins the wheel. It goes around and around for almost an eternity before it lands on Mini-Golf. Hiei and Fujiko are teleported to the miniature golf course. They are handed some golf balls and a pair of putters. The first hole they reach is modeled like a lava-covered volcano. Fujiko takes the first swing and she gets a hole-in-one.
Fujiko: Heh heh! Beat that!
Hiei: How can I beat a hole-in-one? The best I can do is tie it, fool.
Fujiko: OK, you're not earning any points by insulting me.
Hiei: As if I care, you walking piece of jiggling fanservice.
Fujiko: It's better than being like you. You're so short, you need a ladder to pee in the toilet.
Hiei: Oh, it's ON now!
Hiei swipes his putter at Fujiko. Goku quickly flies over and blocks it before the woman can be hurt. He takes Hiei and Fujiko back to the arena.
Mugen: Ike Turner may be dead, but his legacy lives on through Hiei...
Roy spins the wheel. He crosses his fingers and hopes that it lands on "Hotel Room". It stops just short on "Dancing".
Roy: @#$%! Fine... I'll impress her with my dance skills.
Goku takes them to a nightclub. They are surrounded by several people dancing to loud techno music. Roy looks severely out of place because of his military attire.
Fujiko: You're a lot cuter than the other two...
Roy: Yeah, Godzilla would totally beat the Power Rangers' Megazord.
One must forgive Roy for not paying attention. His eyes and mind were focused on Fujiko's... features... and he didn't hear what she said.
Fujiko: Um, what?
Roy: Huh? Well, um, uh, that is, I, hmm, er...
Roy (thinking): Come on, Roy! Don't screw this up! Say something quick!
Roy: Pineapple!
Fujiko: Uh... yeah. So soldier boy, how well do you dance?
Roy smirks and takes off his coat. He shows an amazing level of talent on the dance floor, displaying moves that'd make even Michael Jackson weep with envy. Fujiko claps repeatedly, thoroughly impressed by what she sees.
Crowd: Go Mustang...! Go Mustang...!
Fujiko: You're awesome!
Roy then snaps his fingers. The sparks fly from his glove, creating an alchemic flame that shoots towards the DJ's table. An explosion ensues and all the lights go out in the club.
Everyone: ...
Roy: I feel like I'm in a Southwest Airlines commercial...
Goku has mercy on Roy and takes he and Fujiko back to the arena. Kakashi is the last one to spin the wheel. It lands on "Amusement Park". Goku immediately takes them there. The thrill rides run fast, the snack food smells good and the carnival games look fun. Fujiko sees a booth where there are a lot of plush toys as prizes. She takes Kakashi over there so that he can win one for her.
Fujiko: Hmm... you're better looking than the last guy.
Kakashi: Considering that I'm wearing a mask, it makes me feel bad for Roy when you say that. Which plushie do you want?
Fujiko: I'd like the giant penguin. Can you get it for me?
Kakashi: Penguin? I thought that was Dick Cheney. Well, I can win it for you nonetheless.
The carnie hands him a baseball once he pays him. He is to throw the baseball at a moving target. If he hits it, he wins. Kakashi tosses it and he misses. He plunks down some cash for another go. He misses again. The process repeats until Kakashi is almost out of money. He then throws the baseball at the carnie's head, knocking him out cold. Kakashi snatches the giant penguin plush and gives it to Fujiko.
Fujiko: Ooh, my kind of guy! You win!
Fujiko kisses Kakashi on the cheek and Goku teleports the both of them back to the arena. Kakashi is given the golden championship belt. Fujiko whispers to Kakashi, signaling that she wants to see him in private.
Kakashi: Ooh! Heh heh, see you guys later!
Roy: WHAT?! No fair!
The couple head backstage together. A few seconds later, Kakashi returns with the stuffed penguin wrapped around his neck like an oversized collar.
Kakashi: As you can see, she impaled the giant penguin with my skull and stole the championship belt...
Éclair: *smacks her forehead*
Mugen: Vote for one person today, folks! See you next week!
CONTESTANTS Champion: Kakashi Hatake - NO VOTE this week
#01: Hiei
#02: Roy Mustang
#03: L
Cast your vote in the comments area, by PM or by e-mail! Please vote for only ONE person! Thanks!
Dream
I recently had a dream where I went to a sports betting/gambling establishment to cash a check. Why there? It's a dream; how should I know? The man there told me to go elsewhere. So I went outside and there's this ****ing crazy man out there with a can of spray... acid spray! He sprayed my car's tires and they melted. Then he went on to spraying people, melting them too. Being the brave hero that I am, I ran back inside to call 911. In this dream, 911 turned into one of those "press 1 for English, 2 for Spanish, etc." hotlines that annoy me to no end. Before I could get an operator, the cops arrived on their own and blew the guy away with handheld, hot-lead justice. Then the operator got through to me after the guy was killed. It figures. I don't know what is the meaning of that dream... maybe I should stay away from cans of Lysol or something.
L
I normally don't take requests from people asking me to promote their site. But I received an unorthodox PM the other day in regards to L from Death Note and I decided to go along with it. For more information, visit this site.
Anime Video of the Week
This week's opening-video-that-I'm-posting-because-I-feel-like-it is from the Urusei Yatsura anime circa 1981. The title roughly translates to "Those Obnoxious Aliens" (insert "Tom Cruise and family" joke here). The basic plot is... hmm... a beautiful alien girl named Lum falls in love with a perverted high school boy after he accidentally proposes to her. This leads to a whopping 195 episodes of romantic comedy, bizarre characters, and tiger-print bikinis. I should note that the series is based on a manga authored by Rumiko Takahashi, creator of Ranma 1/2, Inuyasha and other series that I'm too lazy to mention.
To be honest, I haven't seen much of this anime myself. Asides from a few subtitled episodes I viewed in high school, I've only seen a dubbed version of the second movie "Beautiful Dreamer" that I taped off of the Sci-Fi Channel many years ago (even before MST3K came to that network... Mike and the robots would have had a field day). Lord, the acting in that was quite horrid. The villain in the movie was the worst of the bunch. He had a strange way of speaking that I can best describe in text as follows (caps are for points where the voice would be raised):
midget wearing a top hat: "oKAY, i KNoW yOU heARd thE STOry about HOW the turTLE tOOk thE KING TO THE palACE..."
He didn't die at the end either. Pity. Today, I use the movie as a punishment tool for myself. If I ever stray off the path of truth and honor, I force myself to watch the movie until I learn my lesson. Forget waterboarding... have the terrorists watch that movie and they'll reveal everything, from future bombing information down to what Osama Bin Assclown had for breakfast. The video below is a bit odd... very odd, actually... but don't let that stop you from giving it a look.
LS vs. The Kindergartener Comment Response (01/14/2008)
Thanks for the gift suggestions for my mom. I really should have said more about what she likes... sorry about that. I do have an idea of what to purchase and I'll do so online. Down with the mall!
Hmm... nope, my font is the same size as before. The comment response is usually smaller while the rest of the text is at a "normal" size.
I rarely post serious things on here because there's plenty of that elsewhere. My main purpose for this site is to provide an entertaining read that makes you laugh or scratch your head in confusion or both.
Man accidentally shoots himself during robbery
KOKOMO, Ind. - Kokomo police say a man accidentally shot himself in the groin as he was robbing a convenience store. A clerk told police a man carrying a semiautomatic handgun entered the Village Pantry this morning demanding cash and a pack of cigarettes. The clerk put the cash in a bag and as she turned to get the cigarettes, she heard the gun discharge. Police say surveillance video shows the man shooting himself as he placed the gun in the waistband of his pants. The clerk wasn't injured. A short time later, police found 25-year-old Derrick Kosch at home with a gunshot wound to his right testicle and lower left leg. He was expected to have surgery at a hospital. Police plan to charge him with armed robbery.
Notes from LS: When he realized that he was caught, Kosch exclaimed "Awww nuts!" and raised his hands in surrender. *rimshot* He's one of the few criminals who dropped the ball and shot it at the same time. *rimshot* His favorite sitcom as a kid was "Groin Pains". *rimshot* Heh heh heh heh, I kill me. Wait... did that article say that "he was expected to have surgery at a hospital"? Where the hell else would he have a surgery? Wendy's?
Japanese TV
Rejoice! My weekly-video-from-Japan has returned! Aren't you excited? No? *sniffles* OK... be that way...
I'm thoroughly embarrassed. This is because of the video at the end of this ramble-fest... and that I walked around with my fly open for most of the afternoon... *ahem* The video features a five-year-old boy in Japan playing "Dance Dance Revolution" (or simply "DDR" to the cool [read: lazy] kids) at an advanced level.
For those who don't know what it is, I'll explain. I really shouldn't have to explain anything because the game's been around for maybe ten years. It is also considered to be one of those "mainstream" games that even non-gamers have heard of, despite never appearing in a "Dumbass Parents Say That (insert game name here) Caused Their Kids To Shoot Sheep" headline. Oh well, I'll explain anyway because I feel like stretching this paragraph out a bit. DDR is a dancing videogame which is more accurately described as a "stomping simulator". You stand on a mat and match your footsteps with the directional arrows on the screen to the best of your ability. Few people actually "dance" while playing, as the majority look like drunken mental patients trying to stomp on a million cockroaches that fell out of their TV.
I currently own a DDR mat with two games, all of which are covered with dust. It's been ages since I played and after seeing this kid, I won't be playing anytime soon. The situation reminds me of a standard shonen anime where the villain (me in this case) is confronted by some plucky young hero (the five-year-old). The kid shows off a level of power greater than the villain, catching him by surprise and forcing him to say something cliché like "I've never felt a power like this before!", "This is impossible...!" or "It's over nine thousaaaaaaaaaaaand!!!" A twenty-episode battle ensues, ten of which are devoted to powering up if it's Dragon Ball Z or crybaby flashbacks if it's Naruto.
Pic of the Day (v2.0) #350
Anime/Game: Naruto LOL, oops... I didn't realize until I posted the image that it'd be hard for him to talk clearly while sticking out his tongue... *falls asleep*
Thanks to everyone who read "Animation Elimination" over the weekend! The votes have been tallied and the final four contestants will be unveiled this Friday. Now to address some story-related comments...
Eclair is from the anime Kiddy Grade.
Hiei cannot be stolen because no one owned him to begin with. If no one owns something and you take it, it isn't really stealing, or so my lawyer tells me.
I have nothing to do with Sango losing... well, I do in a way, since I write the stories. Blame the people who didn't vote for her, Lol.
As strong as Goku is, yeah, he couldn't beat L. If I didn't have Kenpachi show up, L would have used some other way to trick Goku for the win, probably by distracting him with something shiny.
If you'd like to see some serious (read: not comedy) writing from me for a change, I suggest moseying on over to kitabug69's site. She is posting a Bleach fanfic composed by many authors and today's part is written by me. ^^
I'm Not Flava Flav
The mall is not my friend. No, I consider the mall to be a fierce enemy of mine and it is the only manmade structure/building in my personal Rogues Gallery. Because of my hatred for it, my visits to the mall are few and far between. Back in my early-teen years, I loved going to the mall with my friends to do nothing but loiter around in many youth hotspots, such as the arcade, the food court, the movie theatre and, of course, the super-popular kitchen appliance store. I made a trip there on Saturday evening to purchase a gift for my mother's upcoming birthday (the 19th). This was done without any planning of what to purchase beforehand (d'oh!).
I wandered around until I reached one of those perfume/lotion/makeup hellholes that try to suffocate you with artificial flowery fragrances from 100 ft. away from the entrance. To my surprise, a female, human employee offered to assist me when I walked in (I was expecting a Care Bear or a pixie). How people can work there and still retain a sense of smell is beyond me. She showed me various things, including a ridiculously overpriced basket of assorted soaps... soaps that'd only be on display and never used. Agitated by absurdity, I left the store with the woman suggesting that I "please come again soon". I'll keep that in mind for whenever I feel like breathing in perfume until my eyes melt in their sockets.
After visiting a run-of-the-mill department store (and giving the ol' stink eye to some loudmouth teenagers; get off my lawn), I went to the bookstore and got distracted by manga. For once, I didn't go in for manga and was still drawn to it like a moth to a flame. A clerk got right in my face (no kidding, I mean around less than a foot between us) to ask if I needed anything. I was tempted to say "I'm trying to shoplift, do you mind?" but I doubt he'd appreciate that joke as he dialed for mall security.
After that, I was annoyed by one of those guys at a store-cart... again. One reason why I hate the mall is because of them. They're the ones who can't afford an actual store and decide to pimp out a Wal-Mart shopping cart covered in imitation cell phones and wristwatches. "My man, come here my man, let me show you something... look here..." a man said to me with his Cracker Jack jewelry sparkling from his neck and fingers. "I know you're interested in this..." he said next. Really? Thanks, Amazing Kreskin. He then pointed out a GIGANTIC, butt-ugly "platinum" chain. I guess he mistaked me for this guy:
Flava Flav
It happens all the time. After all, we look nothing alike. I was then tempted to say "this is why you don't have your own store" but I didn't want to get punched in the face. The Sailor Jack and Bingo the Dog imprint his jewelry would've left on my jaw would've been unflattering. I went home after that and still don't have anything for my mother. If anyone has any ideas, I'm open to suggestions. ^_^
Pic of the Day (v2.0) #349
Anime/Game: Super Mario Bros.
Thanks for the all nice words regarding my father's condition. The hallucinations have stopped, thankfully. I'm not sure how well the new medication has worked though. He isn't complaining of heart pain anymore, so that's a good sign.
Hmm... I don't know. Society is far easier on fat men than on fat women. I can't count how many TV shows I've seen where the main guy is overweight and he's married to some superhot babe. The reversed scenario is rarely, if ever, shown. Maybe on the Jerry Springer Show... wait... no... none of those people have teeth...
I made the "Inspector Urahara" picture using a screen capture from when Urahara trained Ichigo along with a picture of a replica version of his zanpakuto, Benihime. In the unedited image, Urahara is holding the sword in the opposite direction over his head.
The first edition of Fanfic Friday in 2008 is here. Fanfic Friday is probably the only regular segment on this site, asides from the Pic of the Day, that's guaranteed not to get cancelled. Tuesday Night Totosai - gone. Ask Jaken! - dead. Link of the Week - executed after only one trial. But Fanfic Friday has been here for over a year now and doesn't show any signs of going away, as long as people care about what I'm typing. This week's episode continues the second season of "Animation Elimination" and places the announcer Son Goku in the spotlight. Not only that, but you'll be (mis)treated to Shonen Jump-style fights, guest stars, sexism, insensitive remarks from Mugen, more flirting from Roy Mustang, an elimination... all of this and L makes an ice cream sundae. You'll find the chapter down below. If you'd like to read previous episodes, that's what the archives are for. And now, on with the show!
Through the streets of Tokyo, Mugen drives his imported red Chevy Cavalier with a "Student Driver" label plastered on each of the two front doors. He "borrowed" the car from a high school parking lot earlier in the morning. A Red Bull delivery truck ignores a red light and nearly collides with Mugen in an intersection. The samurai honks his horn, shakes his fist and shouts at the driver from his front window.
Mugen: Hey butthole! If that Red Bull urine-in-a-can gives you "wings", why the hell are you driving a truck anyway? Can't you fly?!
The Red Bull driver is long gone, although he can see Mugen in his side rear-view mirror. He gives a grin with a slight touch of madness hiding behind it. Angered, Mugen pulls into the Kaiba Arena parking lot. He parks in a pink parking space and exits from the vehicle. Éclair parks her Toyota in the regular parking area just a few spaces down. She stomps over to Mugen when she sees what he has done.
Éclair: You can't park there. That's for expectant mothers.
Mugen: Do what now?
Éclair: You can't park there unless you're pregnant.
Mugen: How do you know I'm not?
Éclair: You're not a woman.
Mugen: Oh, so WOMEN get special parking spaces. Listen here, Missy. For the past... 20... 30... however-old-I-am years, I've had to listen to this "women are equal to men!" and "women can do anything a man can!" feminist bull crap. And I'm all for equal rights...
Éclair: Which is why you called it "bull crap", right?
Mugen: Shut up; a man is talking.
Éclair: Yeah, you're a real supporter of feminism...
Mugen: Anyway, women hate it when men discriminate against them and rightfully so. But it's okay for them to get special parking spaces? That's discrimination against us men!
Éclair: It's for pregnant women so that they don't have to walk as far! PREGNANT! Not women in general!
Mugen: In general? What does the military have to do with this? How do we know these chicks are pregnant? They could be just fat. I'm not giving up my space unless I get proof.
Éclair: How do you propose that we do that? Give them a pregnancy test in the parking lot?
Mugen: Um... uh... bah! This is ridiculous... pink spaces for "pregnant" women... blue spaces for the handicapped... the parking lot looks like a frickin' Monopoly board...
Goku pulls up on his Kinto'un (Flying Nimbus Cloud). He somehow locks it to a bicycle rack and notices Mugen's car and what spot it is in.
Goku: Dude! You're pregnant?! O_o
Éclair: I'm surrounded by idiots...
~~~~~~~~
The fans are in their seats waiting for the show to begin. Goku gets into his announcer's booth. For once, he doesn't have any food with him. This is because Seto Kaiba recently banned him from eating during the course of the show.
Goku: Welcome to the show! And now, here are your hosts... Ratchet & Clank!
Mugen and Éclair come out onto the set, still upset over the altercation they had in the parking lot. Éclair tries to be a professional and carries on with her job.
Éclair: Let's bring out our contestants for this week's elimination!
Pikachu is in the lead, dragging the championship belt in a wagon behind him. He is followed by Sango, Hiei, Kakashi, Roy and L.
Mugen: The person going home this week is... Sango.
Sango: I was expecting this. *sigh* Good luck to everyone else! *walks away*
Mugen: Heh heh, well, no more women on the show. I guess we know who the superior gender is now, don't we?
Éclair: Don't start that again. This week's event stars our very own Son Goku and--
Roy: Wait, no more women!? This is a catastrophe!
L: Methinks Kaiba's ratings are going to drop. Half of this show's audience are men. With no women to drool over, they might not tune in.
Éclair: *AHEM* I am a woman!
L: Oh yeah. I couldn't tell with all that plastic surgery in the way.
Éclair: ...
Kakashi: What's the event for this week? You said that it involved Goku.
Goku jumps out from the announcer's booth. He boots Éclair off the stage. Éclair grumbles and takes a seat out of the camera's range.
Goku: Now it's just us men! Woohoo!
Éclair: Fine. If you big, insecure cavemen need to satisfy your egos by having me gone, go ahead. Just don't come to me for help when the stage is destroyed. And since this event involves Goku, who has an IQ rivaled only by retarded dolphins, the stage will be destroyed.
Mugen: Ha! We MEN did just fine without you when you were sick! Right guys?
Kakashi: Um... didn't you need help from those teenage girls because you couldn't--
Mugen: LA LA LA! I can't hear you! LA LA LA!
Goku: Okay, back to the event! To us men, there's nothing we like more than fighting!
Roy: Actually, there is something we like more than fighting, but this is a family show and I cannot go into any further detail.
Hiei: In other news, this is somehow a "family show."
Goku: Your goal today is to defeat ME in a fight.
Mugen: It sucks to be you guys. Goku's an idiot, but he's the strongest martial artist in the universe after Chuck Norris and Hong Kong Phooey.
L: In the event that none of us can defeat you, who wins?
Goku: Um... I guess Pikachu gets to keep the title. The rules are the same as the Tenka'ichi Budokai. You lose if you leave the ring or give up. Also, you will lose if you use a weapon.
Mugen: Of course, it's never that simple. The fighting stage will be surrounded by a moat full of acid. If you fall in, you'll be burned down to your bones!
Stagehand (whispers): Psst! Mugen! We don't have any acid! Kaiba-san says we have to use Red Bull instead because they sponsor our show!
Mugen: Huh?! Then--
The delivery truck driver is standing across from Mugen, his face hidden by an oversized baseball cap. All that can be seen from underneath is the same psychotic smile from before. Mugen gives him a small glare and then pays him no mind.
Hiei: Hmph. In a way, this is worse than a moat of acid. I'll go first. For years I've wanted to put this fool in his place. Now I finally have the chance.
Mugen pulls a lever and a regulation-sized Tenka'ichi Budokai ring rises from the center of the stage. It is a large, square platform made of several stone tiles. The ring is surrounded by a moat full of Red Bull energy drink. Goku enters the ring and stretches his muscles. Hiei follows after.
Goku: I must warn you that I am undefeated in the Tenka'ichi Budokai... except for the times that I lost.
Hiei shakes his head and charges at Goku with maximum velocity. He unleashes an awesome array of athletic assaults on his adversary. Unfortunately for Hiei, Goku easily blocks them all with only his right hand. Goku then goes on the offense. His punches and kicks do not hit Hiei, who dodges them all with his speed. Both fighters back away from each other to assess the situation.
Hiei: You block all of my attacks and I dodge yours. We're at a stalemate.
Goku: Is that like a roommate, only not as fresh?
Hiei: Good lord... there is no way that I'm losing to a MORON like you. Prepare yourself... this next attack will finish the--
A buzzer sounds off. Hiei turns to see a clock on the wall that is set at 0:00 minutes.
Mugen: Time's up.
Hiei: You never said anything about a time limit!
Mugen: Oh yeah. Um, oops.
Hiei: If that brunette bimbo Éclair was running things, she never would have made that mistake!
Éclair: Thanks Hiei... except for that "bimbo" remark...
Roy enters the ring once Hiei leaves. He is told by a stagehand to remove his gloves since they are technically weapons. Since doing that would leave him totally screwed, Roy leaves the ring and goes to Éclair's side.
Roy (flirting): You know, gorgeous, I'm a firm believer in equal rights for women. *winks*
Éclair: You smell like charcoal and Axe body spray. Scram.
Kakashi is the next to take his turn against Goku. He thinks for a moment. The ninja disappears in a puff of smoke and reappears behind Goku. With his hands locked together and his index fingers extended, his attack goes right between Goku's butt cheeks.
Kakashi: ONE THOUSAND YEARS OF DEATH!
Goku is sent from flying from the ring, holding his rear end in pain. He freezes in midair using his Buku-Jutsu (levitation technique). Goku rubs his butt and looks down at Kakashi.
Goku: OW!!! What was that?! Does this look like a prison movie?! Unless your name is Charmin or Angel Soft, I don't want you anywhere near my butt crack! Sicko!
Kakashi laughs and lifts his headband to expose his left eye. Using the Sharingan, he copies Goku's Buku-Jutsu and levitates just like he did.
Goku: Copycat! Hmm... let's see you copy this... KA... ME... HA... ME...
Goku powers up for his hissatsu waza, the Kamehameha. The sapphire chi energy forms in his palms. Kakashi uses the Sharingan to copy the Kamehameha as well.
Kakashi: KA... ME... HA... ME...
Goku powers down and gets in Kakashi's face. He then uses a Three Stooges-style finger poke to blind both of his eyes.
Kakashi: Ow! Hey Moe, I can't see! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!
Goku kicks Kakashi and causes him to fall down into the Red Bull moat below. Goku then takes his place in the ring again.
Goku: Next!
L and Pikachu are all that are left. L places the finishing touches on an ice cream sundae that he is preparing. He waves his hand, signaling to Pikachu that it is his turn. Pikachu reluctantly hops into the ring. There is a fairly lengthy pause before a young boy jumps from the crowd. He is Ash Ketchum, Pikachu's trainer.
Pikachu: PIKA PI! ^^
Ash: We'll treat this like we would any other Pokemon match! Use your Thundershock attack!
Pikachu: PI... KA... CHU!!!!
Pikachu flickers intensely and electricity surges from his body in Goku's direction. Goku teleports out of the way and reappears in midair behind Ash. He kicks Ash into the Red Bull before flying back into the ring.
Goku: Begone, accursed loudmouth child with the raspy voice! Back to the Neverland Ranch from which you escaped from!
Ash (splashing around): AUGH! This is child abuse!
Mugen: No, "child abuse" is when parents subject their children to an episode of "Pokemon"...
Without his slave-driver to assist him, Pikachu is powerless. Goku grabs him and slams him into the Red Bull, right on Ash's head. L gobbles down his ice cream sundae and calmly jumps into the ring.
Goku: This will be an easy win!
L: Not necessarily. I studied the rules of this tournament of yours. There is nothing written about either of us being disqualified due to outside interference as long as either combatant does not call the interference into play. And unless my calculations are incorrect, your fighting prowess has sparked the interest of the delivery truck driver behind me.
The man removes his hat. When he does, a small pink-haired girl comes out from underneath it. She sits on the man's shoulder and cheers him on.
Yachiru: GO KENNY!
Kenpachi: Heh heh heh... *draws his sword* I knew that part-time job would pay off! Not only did I earn enough money to buy that High School Musical 2 DVD---- um, it's for Yachiru, not me *ahem* ----but I also get to FIGHT!
Goku: AAAAH! It's the Boogie Man! I thought my wife said you couldn't leave the closet! o_O
The 11th captain of Soul Society takes to the ring with his demented smile extending from ear to ear. He swipes his sword at Goku and the Saiyan leaps from the ring. Kenpachi chases after him, thereby giving L the victory by out-of-bounds.
Mugen: Here is your winner.... L! See? This is the type of action that only MEN can give you!
Éclair: Gloat while you can. Things are going to go to hell in a hand basket in 3... 2... 1...
Goku: KA... ME... HA... ME... HA!!!!
The Kamehameha comes in from off camera and blows the entire stage into oblivion. Everyone caught in its path is left burned to a crisp and surrounded by the flames left behind by the devastating energy wave. Éclair is still sitting unharmed in the chair off the stage. Mugen coughs up smoke like a dying medieval dragon.
Éclair: Oh yes. I can see why women are so much more inferior to you men. By the way, your car was just towed.
Mugen: Ah shut up and get the burn ointment.
CONTESTANTS
Champion: L - NO VOTE this week
#01: Hiei
#02: Pikachu
#03: Kakashi Hatake
#04: Roy Mustang
Cast your vote in the comments area, by PM or by e-mail! Remember, please vote for only ONE person! Thanks!
More Fun With Wilford Brimley
While searching for the video in the next section, I had the idea of looking up Wilford Brimley videos on YouTube. The inspiration came from my last post about my father's medication-induced hallucinations. I came across the following and I believe that Dad may have seen something like it while under the influence of his meds. After watching it now, I'm not sure if I'm sober myself. Running time is 1:32 of elderly dance remix action.
Anime Video of the Week
Because I no longer post on Thursdays, Theme Thursday, with its clever and super-creative name, is gone. To make up for this, henceforth I shall post an anime video on Fridays. The new, ever-so-awesome name for the feature is "Anime Video of the Week". I can't call it "Theme Friday" because it's already "Fanfic Friday" and the last thing that I want to do is give Friday a multiple-personality disorder.
This week's offering comes from Devil May Cry, an anime based on the popular videogame franchise from Capcom. Capcom is constantly battling against Square Enix for the title of "Maker of the Most Sequels of a Single Videogame". While Squenix is currently juicing Final Fantasy VII like an orange in a machine endorsed by Jack LaLanne, Capcom released around 350 different versions of Street Fighter II during the 1990s, or so it seemed. You couldn't go into an arcade without seeing something ludicrous like "Super Street Fighter II: Championship Hyper Edition Alpha 5 Ai-Yi-Yi!" surrounded by the 12-year-olds who got booted away from the Mortal Kombat machine down the aisle.
But I digress.
DMC ("...this speech is my recital, I think it's very vital...") is better than average when compared to other anime based on videogames. That's actually not saying much. Most videogame-based anime are terrible and make me cry. *looks at the show's title* Damn, I walked right into that one, didn't I? Dante, Trish, Lady, and the rest of the ol' gang are there, bustin' caps in monsters without having to worry about career ambulance-chaser Jack Thompson bothering them because he only harasses violent videogames and not the anime based upon them.
LS vs. Wilford Brimley Comment Response (01/07/2008)
I was originally going to cancel the "Comment Response" section, but here it is.
No, I don't hate dubbed anime. Most of the anime that I view is dubbed (although I do go with subs if there is no alternative). What I do hate is anime that is badly dubbed.
Yes, the first TOM robot was destroyed during some week-long event on Toonami way back when it aired on weekday afternoons. He was then replaced by the second TOM and I believe that's when the SARA computer woman thing joined on as well (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong). Before the TOMs, Space Ghost's Moltar was the host.
It's called Eyeshield 21 because player #21 wears an eyeshield on his helmet.
My new posting schedule, if you'd like to call it such, is Monday-Wednesday-Friday. It makes things a lot easier for me. This is only temporary. I'll go back to Monday-Friday again in March for the 4th Annual World Anime Championship Tournament. This Friday, look for a new episode of "Animation Elimation" and there will be NO more breaks between then and the final episode.
Shape
To follow up on the Zoobooks thing, I've also noticed that most commercials for fat-free and low-fat foods only feature women. You'll have the women talking about their yogurt cups or their Lean Cuisine or whatever the 10%-off supermarket coupon provided for them. But no men. It's like society is saying "Go ahead, men. Eat like a slob. No one cares." That's probably why I ate more than my fair share of hot wings for dinner, currently regretting it more with each bubble that pops in my stomach. Curse you, society... curse you...
December 25th
I spent Christmas in the hospital. Several months ago, my father had a stroke (my grandmother also had one not too long before he did... bad luck indeed) and he was placed in a nursing home to recover. The nursing home is also where my mother works as a nurse. A couple of days before Christmas, Dad complained of pain around his heart and was transferred to the hospital where they ran some tests. Two incomplete blockages were found near his heart, one at 50% and the other at a highly dangerous 90%. In his current condition, he is far too weak to undergo surgery. The doctors placed him on a new medication that'd hopefully defeat the blockages.
Now things get strange.
The medication had side effects. Most medication does, whether it be prescription or over-the-counter. I can't count how many times I've taken NyQuil and woke up pantless in the ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese's. The stuff they put dear old Dad on... it made him hallucinate. Long before he retired, he was employed as an assembly worker at a certain automobile manufacturer that rhymes with "bored". Under the drug's influence, Dad was going on about how the guys on the line didn't know how to build a car. He'd point at the "workers" he was referring to and there'd be no one there. He also told me to "climb down from the machine", believing that I was standing atop one of the car-making robots. It was really bizarre, especially when he got into the stuff about how he argued with his supervisor.
What took the cake though was when he swore he was riding on a bull after watching a rodeo on TV. This was followed by a rendezvous with Wilford Brimley after seeing him in a Liberty Medical commercial later on.
Call him if you have "diabeetis" or a hunger for some oatmeal.
I kid you not. Dad's condition is well enough that they sent him back to the nursing home. I'll let you know if there are any more significant changes in the days ahead.
December 31
My New Year's Eve recap............ I fell asleep on my couch at 10PM and didn't wake up until 2 or 3AM. Don't feel bad for me. The party in mind was far better than anything I could have experienced in person. Happy frickin' New Year.
LS vs. Eyeshield 21
After a lengthy absense, I have returned to kick off 2008 here on myOtaku... or theOtaku... or OtakuSpace... or Version Vibrate, um, Vibrant... whatever the hell the name of this place is... I haven't kept updated with the upcoming changes. When it comes to a topic that is brought before me, if it's not wearing a bikini and/or isn't covered in nacho cheese, I don't pay much attention to it. I missed you all and it is good to be back. ^_^
I spaced out several times at The Job listening to co-workers talking about how politicans named Huckleberry and Dalai Lama won a cactus in Iowa... and before that, they were gushing about the 1.5 million different college football "bowls", like the Rose Bowl, the Orange Bowl, the Punch Bowl... bah. I'm glad to be back here where I can talk about anime and manga without receiving those "just exactly how old are you?" looks that my peers usually give to me.
Zoobooks
This has nothing to do with anything, but I've noticed that the same "Zoobooks" commercial has been on TV since maybe 1992. All the kids in the ad must be college-grads at this point. And I'm sure that the tiger on their free poster has passed on to the big Frosted Flakes box in the sky.
Eyeshield 21
While I was away, I had the misfortune of watching the English-dubbed version of Eyeshield 21 on Toonami Jetstream. "Jetstream" sounds like the name of a Transformer. If based on the online video service, he'd talk like this.
"Hahaha! Well, Opti-- *buffering...* --mus Prime! You're no ma-- *buffering...* --tch for me! The Deceptic-- *buffering...* --ons will ru-- *buffering...* --l-- *buffering...* --e!"
Back to Eyeshield 21... for those who don't know, this anime is based on the popular sports-comedy manga about a young geeky boy with high-speed running ability who ends up playing for his high school's football team. And I mean FOOTBALL with the pigskin and gridiron, not soccer. No offense, Soccer-- actually, offense is intended, Soccer; screw you --but you are a boring sport with low scoring and extremely long gameplay periods. You are a snoozefest and are only interesting when the idiots in the crowd get into a riot, or when the Spanish announcers on Univision go crazy. Soccer, I can never take you seriously because in my country, you're only played by children with parents that own SUVs plastered with ugly bumper stickers. *spits*
DISCLAIMER: If LordSesshomaru offended any soccer fans, don't bother leaving a comment trying to defend the sport. His opinion won't change no matter what you say.
Oh yeah, Eyeshield 21... ehhh... I wouldn't say that the actors did an abysmal job. I would have cast some parts differently (Yoichi Hiruma comes to mind), but no one gave me ear cancer. That dishonor goes to the opening theme that VIZ decided to go with. I never expected them to use the Japanese theme songs, so the addition of new music (both the intro and throughout the episodes) didn't surprise me. What DID surprise me was how frickin' bad the opening is. Don't believe me? Here. It's only 30 seconds long (thankfully).
Cripes. Who the deuce gave THAT the A-OK? *waits for "Duhh... it's not so bad!" comments* Sure it isn't, if you're Helen Keller. I hope that the DVDs are uncut with the original Japanese audio track... or I would if I actually planned on buying them.
Damn, it feels good to rant again. Who'd I hit today? Let's see... politicians, Zoobooks, college football, streaming videos, soccer, and a horrible song. Not bad. The venom shall be flowing strong in 2008... although I'll probably talk about my family or Christmas next time.
Dragon Ball Manga Quote
Every once in a while, I find a quote from Akira Toriyama's Dragon Ball manga that sounds dirty when taken out of context. The series is full of them and I should really compose a list.
Son Gohan: "Just pull it out...?"
(volume 39, chapter 471)
LOL, holy crap. I had no idea that I posted three times until I came to check my comments late Sunday night... I don't remember clicking the button more than once either. Weird. The extras were recently deleted, as if it matters now.
Thanks to everyone who read "Animation Elimination" over the weekend! I'm not surprised with how the voting went. At this point, I think I already know who will win. I had the same feeling about last year's winner (Kenshin) too. It'll be fun seeing it through to the end. ^_^
Yes, I like Dragon Ball and it's my favorite shonen "train-and-gain-more-superpowers-and-beat-them-up-and-win-the-tournament" type of manga (I prefer the manga because of its quicker pace; the anime tends to drag things out). Considering that most of today's big shonen-action series (Naruto, One Piece, Bleach, etc.) were inspired by DB in one way or another, it's safe to say that even after ending back in 1995, it still has an effect on the manga/anime industry to this very day.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Today's ramble is super-short with text and chock full o' picture-y goodness! Unless they don't load due to bandwith restrictions!
Over the past couple of weeks, I've received holiday greetings from some friends on here. They're available for viewing down below in alphabetical order. I sent out a greeting of my own this weekend to over 100 people. There were three versions -- collect them all; they're sure to be worth $0.00 someday! You probably received one unless:
A) your inbox was full
B) you live with another myOtaku member and can share because I'm extremely cheap, even with something free like an e-card
C) I missed you; there were a lot of people after all (sorry!)
D) this post is the first one you've ever read, so I have no idea who you are, stranger!
E) I hate you
No one got choice E. There is no one that I hate on here... hmm... well, maybe Knight Edge, but I sent him one too. I kid, Edge, I kid! ^^;
From everyone here at the LS headquarters --myself, Jaken, Rin, Rap Cat, the perverted spiders and El Diablo the Albino Squirrel (even him, feuds are set aside during the holidays)-- Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and I will see you all again sometime in January 2008! ^_^
LS vs. Today's Long Post Opening Thought
Poor man's car wash = driving the car around the neighborhood whenever it rains.
Comment Response (12/20/07)
I'm telling you, giftcards are a scam! Companies make millions of dollars in profits from people who don't use them up! If you have one for $10 and only use $6 and never use it again, that's giving $4 to the company for free! And don't tell me "I always use my giftcards all the way!" That's YOU. You have no guarantee that the person you're giving it to will use the whole thing! It's more free money to the stores! They know this too! It's an evil scam! Save yourselves! Richard Nixon is still alive! ... I'll probably get assassinated for saying this stuff...
I could be considered a walking Dragon Ball encyclopedia. If only I devoted more time to my schoolwork instead of Saiyans and flying clouds... I'd be a rocket surgeon or a brain scientist... wait, I think that's mixed up...
Nope, I didn't catch the dubbed Eyeshield 21 yet. I'll watch it on Toonami Jetstream over the weekend.
Post for the Lazy
There's a lot of text today, so this section is your best friend! "Animation Elimination" continues with guest stars galore! I discuss my plans for my 2007 myOtaku season-finale post on Monday. My greatest material Christmas gift ever received is revealed.
Welcome to the last edition of Fanfic Friday in 2007. It's been quite a year and I hope 2008 will be just as successful. Due to popular demand, "Everybody Hates Naruto" returns for its second season this February and I'm looking forward to working on that. But let's focus on today. This week's episode of "Animation Elimination" features a few guest stars and an admittedly-predicatable ending to the contest that our contestants particpate in. I felt bad for this week's winner because of so many weeks of abuse and mistreatment, so I decided to give him/her a break and one hell of a prize for the victory, heh heh. You'll find the story down below. If you'd like to read the archives of previous episodes, here's the link. Now on with the show... unless you don't care to read it, then it's on with the skimming!
NOTE: From now on, vote for only ONE character. There are only six people left with five up for votes. Essentially, you'd be voting for 60% of the entire group if you voted for three people out of five. Once again, choose only ONE character for your voting from now until the end of the competition. Thank you!
Animation Elimination's venue has now shifted to the inside of Kaiba Arena again. As the fans walk inside, they are given small wrapped gifts at the gate. Some contain a few yen, others have a toy, some have a necklace or wristwatch. Each one contains a Christmas present for the crowd as Seto Kaiba's way of saying "thank you" for their support. Of course, to make up for the cost, concessions have now doubled in price, but that's neither here nor there.
The stage is designed to look like Santa's workshop. Christmas trees are strewn about, fully lit and decorated. The smell of freshly baked gingerbread cookies fills the air. Toys line the walls and stockings hang over a fireplace in the back corner. The show's announcer, Son Goku, has just finished his 24th package of pre-made vanilla pudding.
Goku: Pudding always tastes better at Christmastime. I don't know why.
Stagehand: They'd taste better if you'd, you know, OPEN the packages first instead of swallowing them whole like that.
Goku: You don't say? Thanks for the recipe!
Stagehand: *sigh* Mother was right. I should never have dropped out of law school.
Goku: Welcome to the show! And now, here are your hosts... Rocky and Bullwinkle!
Mugen walks out alone with Éclair nowhere in sight.
Goku: What have you done with Rocky?!
Mugen: So, I'm the ugly moose? I hate you. Éclair's sick because of that snow we had here last time. I guess I'm solo this week.
Goku: Cool! If you're Solo, I want to be Chewbacca!
Kaiba watches from his private luxury box with his secretary Naru. Naru pours him a glass of wine as he sits comfortably in his soft recliner.
Kaiba: Oh good. Out of the three of them, the one who gets sick is the only one with any intelligence. Naru, go down there and help Mugen co-host. Neither he or Goku can read the teleprompter.
Naru: They're illiterate?
Kaiba: Indeed. Their idea of a literary masterpiece is a Dora the Explorer coloring book.
Naru: Please sir... don't send me down there. Look at them.
Goku has just smacked Mugen over the head with a hockey stick.
Goku: HOME RUN! Basketball is awesome!
Kaiba: ...I see. Give me the microphone.
Kaiba's voice booms over the arena's sound system with a bass that makes the floor tremble.
Kaiba: MUGEN AND GOKU! PAY ATTENTION!
Mugen: That deep gigantic voice... is that you, God? *gasp* I'm sorry! I promise I'll go to church every Sunday once football season is over!
Kaiba: MORON! THIS IS YOUR BOSS! INTRODUCE THE CONTESTANTS!
Mugen: Oh yeah. Um... let's welcome the contestants.
Sango walks out first with the championship belt around her waist. She is followed by Hiei, Pikachu, Kakashi, Rangiku, Roy and L.
Mugen: All right... judging by the picture card in front of me, this week's elimination is Rangiku Matsumoto.
Rangiku: Me? Oh... well... I guess I'll go back to Soul Society. Captain Hitsugaya must miss me so much! I can't wait to be at his side again, 24 hours a day!
~~~~Soul Society~~~~~
Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya watches from his office.
Hitsugaya: DAMN IT!
~~~~~~~
Rangiku leaves and this causes Kaiba to sweat nervously.
Kaiba: No... no! First Éclair, now her! We're down to Sango alone! We need more attractive women to keep the male viewers interested! Naru! Get down there!
A tumbleweed rolls by in Naru's place. Knowing this would happen, she has fled.
Kaiba: Argh. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He picks up his phone to make an important call. Meanwhile, on the stage, Mugen doesn't know what to do next. He yawns and scratches his crotch.
Hiei: Letting this fool host the show is like entering a goldfish in a footrace.
L: I smell gingerbread, but I see no gingerbread. What kind of sadistic deception is this?
Sango: I'd like to go home. It's Christmas and I don't want to be stuck here with you guys. No offense.
Kakashi: None taken. I don't want to be stuck here with me either.
Pikachu: PIKACHU! PIKA! PI PIKA CHU! CHU! CHU!
Kakashi: Bless you.
At that moment, the Sailor Scouts appear out of nowhere. Sailor Moon, Sailor Venus, Sailor Mercury, Sailor Mars and Sailor Jupiter salute Mugen with smiles on their pretty faces.
Roy: Miniskirts! Five miniskirts! It really is Christmas for me!
Mugen: Who the @#$% are you?
Moon: Don't you remember me from last season? I was eliminated in episode 2.
Mugen: Um... who the @#$% are you?
Venus: Kaiba-san called for us to help out. Something about "guys not watching the show without hot girls to look at".
Roy: So, ladies... which one of you wants to light my flame? *winks*
Sango: Aren't you girls still in junior high?
Mercury: Yeah, but we'll be in 9th grade next year!
Roy: ...never mind... I'm a State Alchemist, not a Statutory Alchemist...
Jupiter: This week's event is a Candy Cane Battle Royal! You'll each be given a giant candy cane and you will fight each other in a massive 6-way free-for-all!
Mars: Beat each other with the candy canes until you are either knocked out or you give up! The last person standing is the champion! And they'll receive a special mystery Christmas prize!
Kakashi: Wh-what?! Why is Kaiba so bloodthirsty?
Everyone is handed an oversized candy cane around six feet in length. Hiei shows off by twirling his around like Darth Maul with a lightsaber. Pikachu can't even pick his up. L starts eating his candy cane to help ease his sweet tooth. He walks away with it and goes into the backstage area.
L: In a world full of criminals and evil... sugar, sweet sugar, you are my one true friend.
Mercury: I guess he's not going to compete.
Moon: Ready... FIGHT!
Hiei stares down Kakashi. Sango faces Roy. Pikachu stands in the corner, still trying to pick up his candy cane. Hiei and Kakashi begin to duel while Sango and Roy exchange words with one another.
Roy: Fine, you're older than those miniskirt-wearing tricksters. How about you spend Christmas with a real man?
Sango: I wouldn't call someone like you a "man"...
Roy: Excuse me? Then what would you call me?
Sango: A wide variety of things, but the censors won't allow those words to broadcast over network television. Let's start the fight.
Roy: I must warn you. In college, I was the best fighter on my candy cane joust team.
Sango: First, you were the captain of the "pie throwing team" and now a "candy cane joust team" too? Just exactly what college did you go to?
Roy: Strawberry Shortcake University. Where do you think I got these gloves? These are actually fancy oven mitts that help with baking.
Sango: A tough guy like you went to THAT pansy school? Why?
Roy: I was the only man on campus. With all the women around me, it was like being a rooster in a henhouse. *sings* Camptown ladies sing this song, doo-dah, doo-dah...
Sango: That's enough chitchat. Let's get this over with!
Sango charges at Roy and swings the candy cane. Roy blocks her attack. Each time she swings it, he easily defends her offensive move. It appears that he was telling the truth about his college athletic career. Roy smirks arrogantly and sweeps Sango off her feet with the candy cane in his hand. He catches her and cradles her in his arms.
Sango (blushes): Oh my.
Miroku: Get away from my girlfriend!
The perverted monk has returned. He stomps across the stage from his seat in the audience. However, Miroku's lust gets the better of him before he can reach Roy. He sees the Sailor Scouts standing on the sideline.
Miroku: Excuse me, miss... and miss... and miss... and miss... and miss! Wow! It's a mess of misses! Would any of you like to bear my children?
Sailor Scouts: O_o
Sango: YOU DIRTY MONK!
Sango proceeds to beat Miroku off-camera. Roy, still unwillingly to spend Christmas without any female companionship, grabs his little black book from his pocket and heads off to find a telephone. Hiei is still fighting with Kakashi. Pikachu still hasn't picked up his candy cane yet.
Hiei: You fight well, old man.
Kakashi: Old? I'm in my twenties.
Hiei: Then what's with the gray hair?
Naruto shouts from the audience to his sensei.
Naruto: Kakashi-sensei! You can beat him! If you win, you get a mystery prize! I'm sure that it's better than your Chevy Camaro that mysteriously ended up in the river last week! Not that I had anything to do with that... go Kakashi-sensei! GO!
Sakura and Sasuke: SHUT UP ALREADY!
Kakashi: You want to know why I have gray hair in my twenties? THAT'S why.
Hiei shakes his head and uses his super-speed to run circles around Kakashi. The ninja tries to keep up and gets an idea. He lifts the headband from over his left eye. Kakashi uses his Sharingan to copy Hiei's movements. He then moves at high speed like Hiei. Both fighters go so fast that they disappear from human sight.
Kaiba: What the hell is this?!
Naru: Super-speed, sir. It's a trick that was used by "Dragon Ball Z" to save money on animation costs.
Kaiba: Oh, NOW you show up. Anyway, they'd better reappear soon. This is killing our ratings!
Hiei and Kakashi both reappear. They topple over into a heap, battered and beaten by their candy cane weapons. The only one left standing is Pikachu, who is still trying to pick up his candy cane.
Mugen: The yellow rabbit wins!
Pikachu: Pika? O.o
Goku: And now for your mystery prize...
Roy and Sango come back onto the stage. Hiei and Kakashi sit up. They all want to see what the mystery prize is. A door opens and in walks a black cat.
Mugen: You win a date with Yoruichi!
Roy: HAHAHAHAHA! A date with a cat?! Have fun, Pikachu!
Yoruichi: ME IZ NOT NORML KITTIE. ME CAN HAS TRANZ-4-MAYSHUN.
Goku: Huh?
Sango: You ever been on the Internet? I guess cats really do talk like that...
There is a large puff of smoke. Once the smoke clears, Yoruichi has transformed from her cat form and into her true form, that of an attractive adult woman... who isn't wearing any clothes, standard procedure for her transformation...
Roy: WHAT?! NO FAIR!
Mugen: *giant nosebleed, propels him into the audience*
Kakashi: That's why I wear this mask.
Yoruichi gets dressed and picks Pikachu up.
Yoruichi: Well aren't you cute? Let's go have a night on the town.
Pikachu: PIKACHU! ^_^
Mugen: Damn that rabbit... he's so lucky. Aha! They say that rabbits' feet are lucky! That little bastard has FOUR of them!
Kaiba: For the love of... he is NOT a rabbit! END THE SHOW!
Mugen: Oh yeah. Merry Christmas everyone! Things are different this week... with only six competitors and only five people up for voting, please only vote for ONE character. That's right, ONE VOTE from now on until the end of the contest. Thank you!
CONTESTANTS
Champion: Pikachu - NO VOTE this week
#01: Sango
#02: Hiei
#03: Kakashi Hatake
#04: Roy Mustang
#05: L
Cast your vote in the comments area, by PM or by e-mail! Remember from now on, please vote for only ONE person! Thanks!
Greeting
I received a few Christmas e-cards from some of my friends (including an animated Flash greeting featuring dancing squirrels... thank you, twilight samurai, for that proverbial lump of coal in my virtual stocking, LOL) and I'll post them all here on Monday. As for a greeting of my own, I plan to get something done this weekend. I tried to last year, but my friends list is quite long and my laziness got the better of me. Maybe I'll have better luck this time.
Christmas Present
The greatest childhood Christmas present that I ever received came to me in 1991. I was a young lad of 8 1/2 years, a boy who never owned a videogame system of my own. For the short amount of time that I was on the Earth, I begged my mother and father for one. For all I know, my first word was probably "Mario". They wouldn't give one to me though. Their reasoning was that I'd either rot my brain, slack off on my schoolwork, shoot my eye out or all of the above. I had to mooch off of my friends' NES (Nintendo Entertainment System) consoles. Oh how I wanted that NES for my own.
On Christmas morning, imagine my surprise to find a shiny new videogame console from my parents under the tree. Yes, my PARENTS. Despite being very young, I knew Santa didn't exist. At the age of 5 or 6, I exposed my parents as charlatans when I found a price tag on a gift that allegedly came from Santa. Anyway, I got my game system. But it wasn't the NES... nay, it was the recently-released Super NES, something no kid on my street owned at the time (or so I thought, two of the little buggers got one for Christmas that year too, robbing me of my moment in the sun). My mother heard me say: "this isn't the NES..." and she offered to return it to the store. I shouted "NO!" and played "Super Mario World" all day and night with my brother.
I still have the SNES to this day and it works even better than any console I purchased after it. It's possibly my overall greatest Christmas present ever because even though my parents had their doubts, they trusted me enough to let me have one and went the extra mile by getting the newest version. I didn't let them down either. My grades didn't slip at all. Well, not until middle school. That's when the laziness kicked in... another story for another day, or so the cliche ending line goes.
What was your greatest childhood Christmas present? ^_^
Pic of the Day (v2.0)
REWIND
Anime: Inuyasha Not exactly Christmas-related... maybe he got those as a gift... Rudolph's nose is red because he's drunk.
