Birthday • 1983-06-17 Gender •
Male Location • St. Louis Member Since • 2003-08-03 Occupation • Real Name • Christopher (or Chris for short)
Personal
Achievements • running this blog for 4 1/2 years and finally being able to conclude it Anime Fan Since • I watched the original Transformers... I had no idea it was anime at the time... Favorite Anime • Dragon Ball, Bleach, Inuyasha, Naruto, Fullmetal Alchemist, Gintama, Eyeshield 21, Kinnikuman, Death Note, One Piece Goals • to make my happy ending come true by defeating El Diablo, the albino squirrel overlord Hobbies • video games, drawing (yet I have no fan art submitted...), watching anime, etc. Talents • I can change my voice into 10-15 others, maybe more...
myOtaku.com: lordsesshomaru
Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
LS vs. Scampires Today's Wisdom
You can rarely see TV news anchors' legs and feet. The same goes for Muppets. TV news anchors are Muppets.
Comment Response (02/15/2008)
My one-shot "Doo Note" comedy fanfic received excellent feedback! Thanks to everyone who read it! Admittedly, coming up wih a comedy idea for a series as serious as Death Note was not easy. I'm glad that I was able to pull it off with spoiling the story for those following it on Adult Swim.
The part where L hissed at Scooby and Shaggy was the most popular part.
Yes, Shaggy's first name is Norville. I didn't know that either until I did research for the names I'd need for Light's note.
My favorite sport to watch is football. My favorite sport to play is professional sleeping. That's not a sport, is it? Oh well.
I follow the Inuyasha manga as it is released in Japan and in the United States. It's clear that the series is near the end... but Takahashi seems to be taking her sweet time getting there.
Mr. Panda is mad because they had the Daytona 500 without him.
When I started off 2008, I made a large change to make things easier for myself and to reflect the overall drop of average comments/visits I receive when compared to this time last year. I reduced my blogging frequency rate from five days a week down to three. Now I find it hard to stick with the three days a week. No, this isn't one of those "I'm leaving myOtaku" posts that some of my really good friends unfortunately had to make recently. What I'm saying is that my posting will now go from "three days a week" to "whenever I feel like it". For a lazy person like myself, having a set schedule for something really sucks. I'd love to tell The Boss: "Hey, I'm no longer working from Monday to Friday. I'm now working whenever I feel like it." I'm sure THAT would go over well.
Now you'll never know when I'll pop up! It'll be a surprise, like when you open the Cracker Jack box for your prize that's worth close to $0.0000003 in value.
So what have I been up to? I've been following news of the upcoming live-action Dragonball movie. There's also a live-action Akira, Battle Angel Alita, and of course Speed Racer in the works too... it appears that I was right about Hollywood flocking to anime franchises after Transformers' giant box office success. Reading more about the movie made me want to go out and buy DB merchandise. That's one thing some "true" anime fans "forget" to do: actually pay money to support the series that they love. I'm not referring to the people who can't afford anything... that's another argument. I mean the people who earn money, watch anime for free online and then REFUSE to pay a dime towards the series that they're mooching, even though they CAN. Because they're essentially ripping off the creators like bloodsucking predators in the night, I'll call them "scampires".
I can imagine those people meeting the creators at a convention or something.
Scampire: Hey Randommangaka-san, I love your work! I download it for free all the time without giving a single penny to you! And merchandise? Fuhgeddaboudit! I'm such a big, supportive fan, aren't I?
Manga-ka: That you are! Thank you for not helping me with putting food on the table for my family! I love working hard day-and-night and not receiving anything in return!
Scampire: Wow! Really?
Manga-ka: Of course not. Get the hell out of the face. Security!
They remind me of those kids at my childhood comic book store that would read everything for free. They'd even pull the rare comics from their plastic bags to peek inside and not once did they buy something cheap like a stick of gum. The exception is that the scampires don't have a burly Greek shopkeeper telling them to scram while wielding a weapon known as "The Doom Broom".
In addition to inflating my DB-Dorkitude and ranting about scampires, I've been keeping in touch with my family and-- *sees that American Idol is on as I type this* What the--? Wow. It must be nice to produce the exact same show every season and still have millions of people watch it. Whoever thought that up is really a genius. Anyway, my family is doing fine, asides from my father acting up with some of the nurses at the home. I have a feeling that they'll kick him out if he keeps it up. Maybe that's what he wants to do. After being in there for so many months, I'd want to go home too, especially after tasting the food. It tastes like someone sprinkled each dish with cigarette ashes like a normal person would with salt or pepper.
As you can see, there's no fanfic today. Such was my plan for this week for a long time. Next week, I should have Everybody Hates Naruto running again. Oh yeah, it's Friday... the Anime Video of the Week... this week, I'm continuing with the "Month of Sports" and I present the opening for the soccer anime, Whistle! I haven't seen a single bit of the series outside of the video below, so I won't bother reviewing it. I like being honest like that. In my school days, I could never stand in front of the class and say "I haven't read a single page in this book, so I won't do a book report." No, I had to lie and make up some b.s., somehow coming up with Charles Dickens' Oliver Twist being a story about a new dance started by Tommy Oliver, the Green Power Ranger.
Rin: M'lord! We couldn't find a TV-sized version of the Whistle! opening!
LS vs. Don King Today's Wisdom
Clothes don't make the man; it's the underpaid sweatshop workers that make the clothes.
Comment Response (02/13/2008)
Ulquiorra is emo? Nah, I wouldn't say that he is.
There's a show called "Pants-Off Dance Off"? Uhh... if it involves liquor, then I guess it isn't so bad. Drunk people do strange things. But if the people on the show are sober, and they probably are, then there's a problem.
I'm sorry for scaring anyone with the picture of Paul Bearer. Today's post is 100% traumatizing-image free, unless the dogs that lie ahead scare you somehow.
Fanfic Friday is here again. With "Animation Elimination" finished and with "Everybody Hates Naruto" two weeks away, what's on tap for today? A special one-shot comedy story featuring the cast of Death Note, that's what. You'll find it down below. Hmm... I've noticed that when some people insist on spelling Light's name as "Raito", they never spell L's name as "Eru". If you're going to use the transliterated romaji for one English name, you might as well do them all... kind of like when people use "Maito Gai" over "Might Guy", but they never say "Rokku Rii" for "Rock Lee" in Naruto. I'm not sure why this is. Maybe someone can enlighten me, or "enraiten mii". *shrugs* Enjoy the story!
For months, the serial killer named Kira has been murdering criminals via heart attacks all over the world. His ultimate form of vigilantism is a polarizing subject. People are either for Kira or they are against him. Of all the people against him, none is more adamant about causing his downfall than the detective known as "L". L is working in Japan, the country that is believed to be Kira's base of operations. On his side are Detective Yagami and his son Light, along with some other no-name cops. They are currently inside of L's base of operations, which is a room full of television monitors and empty Hostess snack cake boxes.
Cop #1: Hey... why did the narrator call us "no-name cops"?
L: Because that's what you are. No one watching this show cares about you guys. Seriously, how many people have you seen wearing an "idiotic Japanese cop from Death Note" t-shirt?
Cops: ...
L: I rest my case. *bites into a Twinkie* Mmm. Where's the crème filling? It's in my belly, that's where it is. *bites again*
Yagami: Ryuuzaki (L's alias), I know that you believe that my son is Kira... but I'm curious. How sure are you of this?
L: Hmm... *eating* ...at this point, maybe 2%.
Yagami: That's good.
L: Or skim. Whichever milk is cheaper, Watari. Make it quick. This Twinkie won't wash itself down.
L's assistant Watari leaves to go on a milk-run. Yagami grabs L by his shirt.
Yagami: PAY ATTENTION AND DAMN YOUR MILK! MY SON'S GOOD NAME IS AT STAKE HERE!
L: You think "Light" is a good name? I don't know if I should arrest him or plug him into a wall outlet.
Light enters the room. Behind him is his shinigami "friend", Ryuk. No one can see Ryuk unless they touch Light's Death Note, which he conveniently left at home under his mattress and stuck inside of a Penthouse magazine.
Light: Hey everyone.
Yagami: Ah! You must not think he's guilty or else you wouldn't let him go out by himself.
L: Hmm... that's not true. I do believe that he could possibly be Kira. That's why I sent a special crew after him all day without him noticing.
Light: What? I didn't see anything...
Ryuk: Hahahaha! I sure did. Just wait until you get a load of them.
L: They should be here soon. Their expertise will help us find Kira and bring him to justice once and for all.
The door opens and five figures enter the room.
Shaggy: Like, zoinks, man!
Light: ...
Yagami: Ryuuzaki? Who are these people? And why do they smell like marijuana?
L: I've called them in from the United States. In the past, this group of hippie teenagers has helped me solve a few mysteries. The most prominent of which was "The Case of the Headless Chicken" where a giant fowl without a head was trying to keep people away from a farm that was scheduled to be transformed into a shopping mall.
Fred: It turns out that it was really Old Man Jenkins in disguise.
Light: Yes... I see. Do you really think that these people can capture Kira, Ryuuzaki?
L: *eating a honey bun* If anyone can catch him, it's them. Trust me. Right, Scooby-Doo?
Scooby: Reah! Ratch'im! Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!
Ryuk: Whoa, the dog just talked. One of those apples that I ate must have been laced with something.
Light: I heard it too.
L: Did you say something, Light?
Light: Uhh... I said... "hey Scooby-Doo."
Ryuk: Nice save.
Fred: Here's our business card, Light.
Fred hands a card to Light. Light looks at it. It's a silly looking card that features all of the group's names and phone numbers. Light puts it in his wallet.
Velma: We spent the whole day gathering evidence, L. Would you like us to give a report of what we discovered?
L: *finishes honey bun* Sure.
Velma: At 8:00 AM, Light Yagami woke up. Between 8 and 9, he brushed his teeth, took a shower and ate breakfast.
Light: You guys saw me in the shower...?
Daphne: Mmm-hmm, we sure did. *blushes*
Velma: Between the hours of 9 and 10, Light wrote some stuff down in a strange notebook and stuffed it under his bed. We think it was a diary. Around 10:05, he received a phone call and left. Light took a train to meet with another person, Misa Amane.
L: Really? Interesting. Continue.
Velma: Light met with Misa at 11:15 outside of a sleazy motel. They went inside and didn't come out until 1:26 PM.
Light: Oh... about that, it's not what you think! I'd never do anything like that with Misa!
L: *sips his tea* No one would fault you if you did. I know that I would. *sips more tea* The "L" in my name stands for "lonely".
Light: We didn't do anything!
Daphne: *giggles* Sure you didn't.
Ryuk: Watch it, Light. You don't want them to find out that the motel was merely a cover so that you could formulate your next plan with Misa without having anyone see you, hahahaha.
Light: SHUT UP!
Daphne: How rude!
Light: Not you!
Fred: Then who...?
Light: Uh... um... the air conditioner is too loud! Someone turn it down!
Ryuk: Hahahahahaha!
L: Hmm. Light, I've noticed that you talk to yourself quite often. Have you ever considered pursuing some type of... oh... what's the term?
Scooby: Rychorogical reatment!
L: Yes, thank you.
Light: I don't need therapy!
Shaggy: Like, calm down, man. You're going to pop a blood vessel or something.
L: Continue, Velma. *eats a donut*
Shaggy: Man, I sure could go for a donut right now. How about sharing, L?
Scooby: Reah! Rare rum ronuts!
L: No! MINE! Get back! Back I say! *hisses*
Shaggy and Scooby: O_o
Velma: After the love hotel incident, Light Yagami went to lunch until 1:40. Then he took another train here. He arrived at 2:11 PM.
L: Thank you. Light, I'd like to know about the notebook you were writing in.
Ryuk: Uh-oh, hahahahahaha!
Light: Stop laughing!
L: I wasn't laughing, although I admit that it's hard not to when in the presence of a talking Great Dane.
Fred (whispers): Something's not right with Light.
Shaggy (whispers): Yeah, man. I don't, like, start to talking to imaginary people until I'm on my second joint, man.
Daphne (whispers): He's clearly sober... and oh so hot.
Velma (whispers): I'm hot too... I wish he didn't turn off the air conditioner.
Daphne (whispers): That's not what I meant.
Fred (whispers): I think we should quest--
Light: Stop talking about me over there! I'm NOT Kira! And I don't care what L says or what a bunch of stoners straight out of the 1960s think! All of you can go to Hell!
Scooby: Ruh-uh! You ran roh to Rell! Rucking rasshole!
Ryuk: A dog just cussed you out... I think. Hahahahahaha.
Light stomps out of the room. Ryuk cannot stop laughing as he hovers behind him. A piece of the Death Note falls from Light's pocket. Light carries multiple pieces with him in case of an emergency.
Velma: What's that?
Velma picks up the Death Note piece. She passes it around to her friends. They shrug and take their leave, promising to return with more information about Light tomorrow. Once outside, they see Ryuk flying around an apple cart. Ryuk takes an apple without paying for it.
Shaggy: ZOINKS!
Fred: Grab him! He stole an apple!
Ryuk doesn't even try to escape. Daphne and Velma grab him. Ryuk finds them to be amusing, so he plays along with the "arrest".
Fred: Now to unmask him!
Fred grabs Ryuk's head and pulls as hard as he can. He pulls and pulls until he yanks it clean off from the neck.
Group: O_O
Fred: AHA! So, the apple thief is really the Invisible Man!
Daphne: Fred, you moron! You pulled his head off!
Fred looks down at the head in his hands.
Ryuk: I would have gotten away with it too if not for you meddling kids and your dog!
Group: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
They run away in horror, leaving Ryuk to reattach his head to his body. The group runs into the street and are promptly run over by an 18-wheeler. Light is standing in a nearby alleyway. In his right hand is a piece of the Death Note. In his left hand is the business card that Fred gave him earlier. The Note reads:
"Fred Jones, Velma Dinkley, Daphne Blake, Norville ‘Shaggy' Rogers and Scooby-Doo will all be run over by an 18-wheeler at 2:30 PM after seeing something that frightens them greatly."
Light: Look at that, Ryuk. The Death Note works on dogs too. I didn't know that.
Ryuk: Me neither. Won't this make L more suspicious of you?
Light: I don't care. I'd rather spend life in jail than have those idiots follow me around any longer.
Ryuk: Heading back to the motel? Hahahahaha.
Light: Shut up!
Ryuk: You meet a cute girl and get her alone in a motel room... and all you do is talk about strategies and world domination. You're such a dork! Hahahahaha!
Light: Even if I WANTED to do anything like that, I couldn't with you floating around! I can't even use the toilet without you watching me like some game on ESPN!
Light has an idea. He does something that he never even contemplated before. Light writes Ryuk's name on the Death Note piece. Ryuk clutches his heart and falls over onto the pavement.
Light: I... I did it! I killed him! Woohoo!
Ryuk: *sits up* Fooled you! Hahahaha!
Light: Damn it...
Light lowers his head and walks away. Ryuk follows after him as usual.
Ryuk: "I did it! I killed him!" HAHAHA! Did you think that would work? What an idiot! HAHAHA!
Light: ...I hate my life...
THE END
Hey, wait a minute... that's not a beagle... and that's not a boxer. Here's another kooky item from our pals in Japan. I've seen this before, but I didn't know it was of Japanese origin until recently. It's a dog that you stick into one of your computer's USB ports. Then it... humps your computer. It's not a flash drive or anything like that. The only purpose for the dog is to hump your computer. This opens the door for all sorts of oddities. Will there be doggie "protection" to make sure it doesn't get a virus? How about a skin for the humped computer to make it look like a drunk guy's leg?
Anime Video of the Week
I'm continuing with the "Month of Sports" in my weekly anime video series. This week's sport is boxing. Boxing, as you should know, is a sport where two people wear big gloves and beat each other up. Millionaires and celebrities like to watch boxing matches in person, kind of like modern-day Roman aristocrats watching the gladiators at the Colosseum, only with cigars and more hookers. Boxing was a legitimate sport until a few years ago. At that time, a man resembling a troll doll started fixing the fights.
And that led to Mike "Hannibal" Tyson feasting on people in the ring and threatening to dip their kids in sweet-and-sour sauce like Children McNuggets. Tyson never said that to my knowledge, but with all the crazy stuff he's said over the years, it wouldn't surprise me if he did.
Hajime no Ippo (known as Fighting Spirit in some territories) is an anime about boxing featured in the video below. And... um... that's all I've got. It's hard to review an anime without ever actually seeing it. (readers: *anime fall*) I'm sure it's a decent series. My brother purchased a PS2 videogame based on the anime about a year ago. He, like myself, never saw the anime. The game was only $5 and he figured the purchase couldn't hurt.
The game was barely mediocre, gameplay-wise. The matches had these realllllllllllly long cutscenes in-between. The story wasn't so bad, but it was hard to bear because the graphics looked like they were generated on a computer powered by a hamster running in a wheel. Not only that, none of the characters had voiceovers. Instead, they talked with word bubbles like in a comic book as cheesy, repetitive music looped in the background. The only person who had a voice was the ring announcer. Fast forwarding through the ring intro made him sound like a chipmunk. At some point, I remember that I got to box against a bear. That was the highlight of the whole game.
I can't judge an anime based on my experience with its bargain-bin videogame tie-in... maybe I'll watch this series sometime to relive the glory days of yestermonth when I got to punch a virtual bear in the face.
What's your favorite sport, if you have one? It can be either to watch or to play or both.
LS vs. Lenny the Business School Drop-Out Opening Thought my friend Mike, back in 9th-10th grade: "You suck so bad at drawing, you can't even draw air."
Comment Response (02/11/2008)
When I said that I hate "cute" things, I didn't mean women or babies or anything along those lines. I'm talking about those cuddly, ever-so-marketable fuzzy cartoon characters that you can find in any theme park around the world. Hell for me would be an eternity trapped inside an episode of the Care Bears.
Yeah, I get along with my parents. They're the only ones I've got. I might as well love them and cherish the time that I have with them.
That's an empty bag of pork rinds that I had with my lunch on Tuesday. *hears someone say "I don't like pork rinds."* Well, that's fine. I wasn't going to share them with you anyway. I like pork rinds, even though they dry my mouth out pretty fast as if someone dumped sand onto my tongue. I scanned the image because of the goofy cartoon pig. His face has been magnified and highlighted, as you can see. It's a bag of PORK rinds... why is this pig so damn happy? Does he not realize what PORK is? And then they slapped a chef's hat and apron on him, both of which were purchased at Beetlejuice's garage sale. I believe that the pig knows what the pork rinds are. He murdered one of his enemies at the feeding trough and fried him up good. Look at his face again. That's the face of a serial-killing cannibal.
The Package
As I mentioned on Friday, my brother Jeff ordered a package from a bodybuilding website and had it delivered to my place. He wants me to hold on to it until he gets home. Of course, he did this without notifying me in advance (thanks, brother, for forcing me to face that creepy FedEx driver at the crack of dawn). After speaking with him via an online chat, I was given the go-ahead to open it up. Inside were three things. 1) an invoice. 2) a sample-sized energy bar, chocolate/peanut butter flavored. 3) a FIVE-POUND jar of vanilla weight-gain muscle powder. I can imagine Barry Bonds* smiling on the label like a steroid-ified Chef Boyardee.
It's similar to Nesquik or Ovaltine in that you add it to milk, mix it up and drink it. The only differences are that it's vanilla and it supposedly adds muscle mass to your body. My brother is a Marine and some added muscle would help him greatly in Iraq... but he had it sent to St. Louis without expecting me to relay it to him over there. Now I'm stuck with five pounds of muscle powder for the next 3-4 months. I could rip the label off and try to pass it off as a poor man's funeral urn with the vanilla powder being the ashes inside. Sweet, then I can go around doing my kickass Paul Bearer impression.
Japanese TV
One of the many, many, many, many things that I hate is when a TV show or a commercial uses a baby and relies on its "cuteness" factor to fool people into believing that their broadcast/product is any good. Creativity dies as soon as a talking baby is brought into the mix. Don't get me wrong; I don't hate babies. I just hate seeing them in commercials after Lenny the Business School Drop-Out couldn't think of anything better. "Man... I can't think of anything to sell this maple syrup! Think, Lenny. THINK! Oh yeah! BABIES! The suckers out there LOVE babies!" Then we get an infant in a diaper rolling around in Aunt Jemima or something. And the sad thing is that people fall for that stuff every... single... time. The same goes for puppy dogs.
What does that rant have to do with today's video? Absolutely nothing.
This week's video from Japan features women in kunoichi (female ninja) training... or something. Ninja training and Naruto is nowhere in sight. Total time is 3:50 of watching grown women fall into water and smack their faces against assorted items.
Visit Counter
Because of the Vibrant upgrade thingamabob, we no longer have visit/hit counters in the Backroom here at myOtaku. I'm curious about how many visits I receive. To fix that problem, I've added my own counter to the bottom of the page in the Quiz Results area. The starting number I used is an estimate from where it was frozen at a couple of months ago. If you'd like to have a free counter of your own, click on the link down below.
LS vs. China Opening Thought
What has two heads, two tails, eight legs and is bossed around by cruel Chinese people? Find out the answer today!
Comment Response (02/08/2008)
Thanks to everyone who read the finale of "Animation Elimination" over the weekend! Plans for a third season are in the works, but that is subject to change between now and this fall. Until then, I'll have another 26-or-so episodes of "Everybody Hates Naruto" starting on Feb. 29.
Pooh had it coming. In general, I hate everything that most people find to be "cute" because, unlike the mass majority of mankind, I can see through their deception and find the true evil that lies within. The sweeter something is, the worse it is for you. Kind of like desserts.
I opened my brother's parcel/package/thing recently... I'll reveal what's inside on Wednesday. This is what people call a "cliffhanger". I forgot about opening it until just now... and my post is long enough today... there's no room for it now. My apologies. ^^;
What do I do in my free time? I frequently create plots to escape from the prison of my tortured, twisted mind. As you can see, every attempt has failed miserably.
Slam Dunk is from the early 1990s. As part of my new goal, I'm trying to use videos of anime that don't get that much exposure on myOtaku. I do this to be different and hopefully help some older series find some new fans.
Only in Japan? I'm unsure if McDonald's in America has ever blessed us with this, the four-patty superburger MEGA MAC. Four all-beef patties, cheese, pickles, lettuce, the sesame seed bun and the "secret special sauce" (*cough*THOUSAND ISLAND SALAD DRESSING*cough*)... I can feel my waistline growing just by looking at this image. I believe it's part of a new Death Note promotion. Eat the burger and get a free heart attack, just like one of Kira's victims.
I know what you're thinking. "LS, you usually post a weird picture to start things off... what's so weird about that? Big deal." Either that or "I'm hungry" like I'm thinking right now. If you're in the former camp of thought, feast your eyes on the following images and bask in the glow of their insanity.
Just when it seemed that the Chinese had plumbed the depths of animal humiliation, along comes something even worse. The shocking pictures come from the animal park at Xiamen in Fujian, south-east China, where the public seem to delight in humiliating circus-style stunts and have no regard for animal cruelty. Conditions are poor, with big cats including lions, tigers and leopards and other large animals including bears kept in solitary confinement in tiny cages. Save China's Tigers, a charity which has a branch in the UK, campaigns to save animals trapped in the country's zoos. It carries out public education schemes in China to raise awareness. And it aims to free tigers from their cages, set up breeding programmes and reintroduce the proud creatures to the wild after teaching them how to hunt for themselves.
I told you it was insane. I failed to mention that it is also evil, at least in my opinion. One can only imagine what "fun" will be had at the Olympic games in Beijing this summer.
You gotta love Communist China... providing the world with poisonous toys, excessive air pollution and animal cruelty like nobody else.
Dear Old Dad
I visited my father recently. I visit him often, but I only mention him if there is a new development with his condition. Oh? I hear some of you asking "who's your daddy?" Wait... *lowers volume on adult movie* Sorry about that.
Some of you may not know who my father is and I'll gladly explain. He is a stubborn man who refuses to listen to people. Over a year ago, he was diagnosed with a spinal/nerve problem that could have paralyzed him from the waist down if left untreated. Instead of staying in the country for medical treatment, he fled to the Caribbean to some property that he owns down there. Then he suffered a stroke a few months later (it was later discovered that the nerve problem was actually a precursor to the stroke, meaning if he didn't leave, it might have been prevented) and had to be shipped back home. Most of his right side is paralyzed and he is currently residing in a nursing home where my mother is one of its employees.
Dad is doing fine... although he possibly set a record for the most times that a single person has ever fallen out of a bed. This is both his fault and the nursing home's. They are VERY slow to respond to people who need their help. Whenever Dad needs to use the restroom, they take too long to assist him and he tries to get out of bed on his own. This leads to him falling onto the floor. No matter how many times we tell him not to, he always tries to get up on his own. Now he has mats on the floor all around his bed, along with a motion-detecting alarm to notify nurses if he ever gets up again. Argh... other than that, he's fine.
Wheels
On my recent visit, I got to see three elderly people rolling down the hallway in their wheelchairs. They looked like they were in a race. This happened once before too, same people. Next time, I'll join them in the Oldtona 500. That'll be fun until some uppity nurse kicks me out of the chair. People always try to ruin my fun, like the workers at McDonald's who throw me out of the PlayPlace in the front. Apparently I'm "too old" to use the slide and play in the ball pit. Bah.
"The Ball Pit"... that sounds like the name of a gay bar.
Pic of the Day (v2.0) #360
Anime/Game: Naruto
I did NOT draw this piece of fan art. Hinata's muscles... they give me nightmares. Tonight, the part of Hinata will be played by former WWE female wrestler Chyna.I love chewing gum.
Whoa, a few more people hate the Patriots than I expected... excellent, bwahaha...
The New York Giants represent the city of New York... even though they play in New Jersey.
The Super Bowl threw off my timing. Here's what happened.
Monday: didn't have time to type anything because of the Super Bowl on Sunday night Tuesday: posted to make up for Monday Wednesday: forgot to come up with something for Wednesday because my log-on days are no longer back-to-back Thursday: my attitude was "eh... screw it"
Now it's Friday and I'm back to normal. "Eh... screw it" is my official motto for when things get too tough, spoken most often when I'm trying to get out of bed in the morning. Yes, the bed is one of the display beds they have at the furniture store... but I figure "why should I bother getting up? The manager just called the police. They'll drag me out of bed when they arrive."
The finale is here! Animation Elimination comes to its conclusion today! Who is the winner? Find out below! I'm pleased with how this turned out. I had more time to work with it and I believe it shows. Hmm... I actually like this finale better than last year's. No need to vote today, obviously. Click here for the previous episodes' archive. Enjoy the show!
The past several weeks worth of (not so) entertaining programming have led up to this point... the point where someone will go down in anime history as the victor of the 2nd annual Animation Elimination competition. It is on this night that a champion will be named and awarded a mystery grand prize for his efforts. The Kaiba Arena has been covered with the most expensive handmade decorations that money can buy. Cloth banners and buntings are strewn across the arena's upper levels. The ceiling has been opened so the crystal stars can be seen twinkling in the sable sky overhead.
The lovely Éclair and the ever-so-tasteless Mugen are heading to the stage. Éclair wears a stunning blue evening gown that sparkles in the candlelit hallway. Mugen is sporting his usual attire with the addition of an unkempt black necktie that is positioned backwards around his neck.
Éclair: They really rolled out the red carpet... Mugen, could you at least dress like you have class?
Mugen: Class? Shows what you know. I haven't been to school since... since... the last time I've been to school.
Éclair: ......that's not what I meant. School... you probably flunked everything, even lunch.
Mugen: Umm! That's a dirty word! I'm telling!
Éclair: I said FLUNK! Another word for "fail" is "flunk".
Mugen: Ah. So if my mom screws something up, does that make her a mother flunker?
Son Goku, the show's announcer, is just up ahead. He is also wearing his normal clothing, except that his head is stuck in a honey pot.
Goku: Oh bother. Could you guys help me?
Éclair: That's the third time this week! How do you get your head stuck in a honey pot anyway?
Goku: I don't know, Pinky. Can you and The Brain help me out?
Éclair: No... no... NO! I refuse to help until you get my name right! All season long, you've forgotten our names!
Goku: I will if you pull this honey pot off of me. Please?
Éclair: *grabs it and tugs* What's my name?!
Goku (grunts): UGH!!
Éclair: Say it! Say my name!
Goku (grunts): AAAAAH!!!
Éclair: WHAT'S MY NAME!?
Kaiba's office is behind a door nearby. He can hear every loud noise coming from the hallway.
Goku (grunts): AAAAAHH!!
Éclair: MY NAME! WHAT'S MY NAME!?
Kaiba (listening): ...
Goku: It hurts! You're too rough!
Éclair: You act like this is the first time you've ever done this!
Kaiba (listening): O_O
Goku: OWW!!
Éclair: Always sticking things where they don't belong... you're such a naughty boy!
Kaiba (listening): What... the... are... are they? No, it couldn't be...
Mugen: Do it harder, Éclair!
Kaiba (listening): Mugen's out there watching?! That sicko!
Éclair: Goku, pull it out already!
Kaiba (throws the door open): ENOUGH! YOU DISGUSTING PERVERTED-- eh?
Seto Kaiba sees Éclair pull the honey pot off of Goku's head. It flies backward and smacks him right in the face. The boss is knocked out cold. Mugen tiptoes over to check on him.
Éclair: Oh shoot! Is he... dead?
Mugen: Nope, his feet didn't curl up. He's alive. *takes his wallet*
The trio decide to leave their employer on the floor. After they depart, Naru finds him on the floor along with the broken honey pot.
Naru: Oh no! Kaiba-san! *checks his pockets* His money is gone... Kaiba-san was mugged by Winnie the Pooh! Call the police!
Goku enters the announcer's booth. The crowd goes wild as they await the finale of Animation Elimination. Goku waves to them all. The time to start the show is now.
Goku: Welcome to Animation Elimination's season finale! Here are your hosts, Milo and Otis!
Mugen and Éclair don't bother questioning Goku. He'll never get their names right. It's something that they'll have to deal with. They walk onto the stage to a thunderous chorus of cheers and applause.
Éclair: All season long, our two finalists have endured grueling challenges!
Mugen: That's right. They went through a bicycle demolition derby, a pie throwing contest, an attack from monkeys while covered in bananas, a spelling bee, an arm wrestling contest, a snowball war, a candy cane joust, a battle against Goku, a date with Fujiko, a lie detector test and a fight with an evil hamster and his minions!
Éclair: It's all been leading up to this moment. Please welcome our finalists. First, from "YuYu Hakusho", Hiei!
Hiei swiftly makes his appearance. He stands on one end of the stage. The fans cheer wildly for him, especially a certain group in the front row.
Kuwabara: Don't screw this up, shrimp! You're so close to victory!
Kurama: Hiei made it farther than I did in this competition last year... impressive. My hat's off to you, or it would be if I wore a hat.
Yusuke: Instead you wear a wig that makes you look like a Mary Jane Watson cosplayer.
Kurama: I'll remember that remark.
Éclair: And our other finalist... from "Death Note", L!
L calmly walks onto the stage. His fans cheer for him and toss shrink-wrapped sweets his way.
Misa: Go L! ^_^
Light: Misa! Use your Shinigami Eyes to find out his real name so I can kill him!
Misa: But... I want to see how the show ends...
Light: You... you... ARGH!
Ryuk: Hahahahahaha! *mocks* "ARGH!" Hahahahahaha!
Éclair: Before we announce the winner, do either of you have anything you'd like to say?
L: To all of my fans who've supported me from episode 14 until now, thank you. I really appreciate all of the fan mail, greeting cards, flowers, candy, cakes, donuts, foot ointment, et cetera et cetera. Arigato.
Éclair: And Hiei?
Hiei: Blow.
Mugen: All right! It's time to crown our champion, who'll receive our grand prize and a place in the anime immortality hall of fame. The runner-up will receive a one-way ticket to Obscurityville. We have a special surprise for you all... last year's champion will be the one to announce the winner. Give a round of applause to the legendary samurai, Kenshin Himura!
"Rurouni Kenshin" star Kenshin Himura is now with the group. He holds a golden envelope in which the winner's name is written. There is also a silver envelope to be opened later.
Kenshin: Thank you! This one is happy to be back on the show! Ever since he won, he has been receiving lots of endorsement deals! Wheaties, Hasbro, Microsoft and even Nike! Be sure to buy his brand new "Air Kenshin" sneakers on sale in the lobby!
~~~~Amestris~~~~
The Elric Brothers watch from the Rockbell family home again. Edward, last year's runner-up, still has a bad taste in his mouth. Winry's grandmother can't cook. But the bad taste can also be attributed to his defeat one year ago.
Edward: Look at that giant tool! That should be MY shoe being sold! "Air Elric" shoes! BAH!
Winry: You with brand-name shoes? To be accurate, none of them could be larger than size 6.
Edward: Winry, have your mouth follow your bra's example and STUFF IT!
Alphonse turns away as Winry repeatedly pounds Edward in the head with her wrench. The disgruntled auto-mail mechanic goes into the kitchen with a giant vein throbbing in her forehead. Edward is on the ground, a large lump rising from his skull.
Alphonse: Hey brother! On the bright side, that new lump on your head has made you taller!
Edward: I hate you...
~~~~~~
Kenshin: The winner of Animation Elimination 2008 is...
Hiei: Hmph.
L: *eats a Swiss cake roll*
Kenshin: ...L!
Fireworks are launched into the sky once the announcement is made. Confetti and streamers fall from the arena's upper levels, accompanied by red and white balloons. The crowd cheers as loud as ever. L finishes his sweet and makes his way over to Kenshin. Hiei, who has just been defeated, says nothing and walks away.
Mugen: Hiei! Are you leaving?
Hiei: Of course, you fool. I can't believe that I lost to that shut-in sugar junkie.
Hiei disappears into the darkness of the night. Éclair gives L a big hug.
Éclair: You won! Congratulations! *sniffs* You... smell like... an Easy Bake Oven...
L: That's what people tell me. I believe that my body secretes sugar through its pores.
Kenshin: Oro? O.o
Mugen: L had the most votes every single week, so it's no surprise that he won in the end. Himura-sama, please give him his grand prize.
Kenshin hands the silver envelope to L. L opens it to find a plane ticket.
Kenshin: You won an all-expense paid trip to Tokyo!
L: But... I'm already in Tokyo...
Kenshin: Oh. *takes the ticket back* Let's see... *digs around in his pocket* Ah! Here! You won a half-empty pack of chewing gum!
L: Hmm. Not what I expected... thank you anyway.
Mugen: In addition to your, uh, chewing gum, you've also won 100,000,000 yen, a year's supply of Kinoki foot pads, and a golden ticket granting you access to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory!
L: Really?! You're not kidding, right? I can visit the Wonka factory?! Wait, which Wonka? The original Gene Wilder one or the creepy Johnny Depp one?
Mugen: Um... both.
Mugen gives L a golden ticket. The slovenly detective jumps with joy. He runs off with his prize, happy as can be.
Mugen: I didn't have the heart to tell him that was a lie. He'll figure it out when he arrives at the "factory" only to discover that it's really a bingo hall in East Rutherford, New Jersey.
Éclair: That's it for this season! See you next year unless we've been cancelled!
Mugen: Éclair, I still have Kaiba-san's wallet. How about me and you go out and have fun tonight? Goku too.
Goku: That sounds great! Come on, let's go!
Éclair: Eh... I get the feeling that something bad is going to happen. Not to us, but elsewhere...
Mugen: Who gives a fig? It's party time!
Éclair: OK! Bye everyone! ^_^
~~~~The Hundred Acre Wood~~~~
The Hundred Acre Wood is experiencing another windy autumn season. Piglet is raking leaves outside, only to have more leaves be blown into his front yard. His best friend Pooh approaches.
Piglet: Oh, h-hello Pooh!
Pooh: Hello Piglet! It certainly is a blustery day, isn't it?
Piglet: It s-s-sure is.
Pooh: I'm on my way to Rabbit's house to see if he can loan me a small smackerel of honey. Care to join me?
Piglet: I'll be along after I finish-- POOH! L-LOOK OUT! BE-BEHIND YOU!
Three police officers armed with nightsticks run up from behind and start beating down on the pudgy bear. Piglet runs inside and locks the door, leaving Pooh to his grim fate.
Pooh: OW! WHAT THE F*** DID I DO, MAN?!
Officer: You are under arrest for assaulting and robbing Japanese millionaire Seto Kaiba!
Pooh: WHO!? I'VE NEVER HEARD OF-- OWWW!! PIGLET! CALL CHRISTOPHER ROBIN! OWW! MUST YOU BE SO ROUGH?! *struggles*
Officer: Zap him, Lenny!
Pooh: DON'T TASE ME, BRO!
Piglet: Oh d-dear...
THE END
Mail
I received a couple of interesting things in the mail recently. Normally, the only things I receive in my mail are bills, coupon collections and magazines that I assure you are not of the adult nature. The first item of note is a letter from Arbitron. If you don't know who "Arbitron" is, it is a company that is responsible for tracking radio ratings. Listeners fill out surveys over a certain period of time and get them back to Arbitron so they can see which stations in the area are the most popular. Included with the letter was a $1 bill! Not a lame gift certificate or a coupon... real MONEY! Now, you may think $1 isn't much-- and in the grand scheme of things, it isn't --but usually people are begging me for cash in the mail, not giving it to me! Oh that was a delightful surprise. I'll be participating in their survey and, according to them, will be receiving another cash gift in the future.
I feel like a trained seal. Instead of fish, I'm getting dollar bills to perform my tricks. Urk urk urk!
The second item is not addressed to me at all. It's for my brother... a package from a bodybuilding website superstore. He ordered something and had it delivered here without telling me in advance. I haven't been able to speak with him since I received it. It's on my kitchen table right now. What's inside? Who knows! I'm afraid to open it without his approval. It's not that I fear my brother, not at all. I'm afraid that if I open it, my face will melt off like at the end of "Raiders of the Lost Ark". If I get the clearance/courage to open it, I'll let you know what's inside.
Anime Video of the Week
To continue with my "Month of Sports" theme videos thing I'm going with (that I just came up with two seconds ago), this week's opening video is about basketball. Last week was football. See the trend? I may use soccer and tennis in the future (you can probably guess which anime those will be from). The video below is from Slam Dunk, one of the most popular-- arguably the most popular --sports anime/manga ever produced. Although it's kind of hard to argue with this link, which lists Slam Dunk as Japanese fans' #1 manga of all time (my personal favorite manga Dragon Ball came in 3rd, woohoo!). Be sure to click the link to see if your favorite(s) made it into the top 10.
The plot starts off with a tough high school boy who has no luck with the ladies. To win the affections of the girl of his dreams, he joins the high school basketball team after she reccommends that he should. What follows is an inspiring story of teamwork, friendship, etc., etc. I've typed a lot today... forgive me for being lazy right now when it comes to explaining any further. The manga ran for 31 volumes and the anime had a total of 101 episodes throughout the 1990s. Viz Media will begin regular publication of the manga series for English audiences in September 2008.
The video below features the first anime opening, "Kimi ga Suki da to Sakebitai", which roughly translates to "I Want to Shout 'I Love You'". Aww... how sweet. With Drain Money From Men Day Valentine's Day coming up, it's appropriate, eh?
LS vs. Groundhog Opening Thought
Pfft, yeah, like I was going to post the day after the Super Bowl. You folks should know how easily-distracted I am by now.
Comment Response (02/01/2008)
Thanks to everyone who read "Animation Elimination" over the weekend! I personally believe that I could've done better and I chalk that up to my shortened time for working on the chapter. This week, there is no tie. I have a clear winner and the rough draft for Friday's finale is already being assembled. The overall quality should be at least better than last week's offering. Be here this Friday to see who is the winner!
Yes, there is a Hollywood-produced live-action Dragonball movie scheduled for release this August. It is currently being filmed in Mexico. With Transformers coming out last year, added to Speed Racer in May and then DB in August... perhaps Hollywood is starting to milk the anime cow like they've been doing with superhero comic books. For more DB movie information, including the cast listing, here's a link for you to look at. Or if you don't trust Wikipedia, here's a more reputable source.
I hate snow because it's a pain to clean it up. It gets all over my car, my driveway, the roads, etc. If not for that, I wouldn't hate it so much.
(DISCLAIMER: LordSesshomaru does not endorse drinking alcoholic beverages and it should only be left to professionals, like Lindsay Lohan)
Groundhog Day
I had forgotten about Saturday being Groundhog Day until a few minutes after I last posted here. In case you do not know (I'm sure that you do, but explaining things really inflates my paragraphs... a technique that helped me survive English class in high school), Groundhog Day is a day where a bunch of men dressed like the Monopoly guy drag a woodland creature out of the ground and hold him up like a trophy. Apparently, this creature can predict the weather. If he sees his shadow, there are six more weeks of winter... or not... I actually forgot how it goes, which shows you how many rat's asses I give about the holiday.
I believe his name is "Punxsutawney Phil". That may be spelled incorrectly. Once again, I don't care too much about Mr. Phil or his holiday, certainly not enough to use a spell-check on his name. If I sound a tad jaded in this commentary, it is because I am jaded... green with envy over the fact that those men have top hats and I don't. I'd wear mine everywhere, just to see how people would stare at me. The thought of wearing a top hat along with my trademark plaid bathrobe while purchasing a Slurpee at 7-Eleven... the thought of that amuses me greatly.
Super Bowl
Sunday was the Super Bowl. I'm not sure how many of you care about football, but I don't care if you don't care for I couldn't care less whether you cared or didn't care because I'm careless for the cares of others and what I care for is all that I care to discuss carefully on this site with great care. Hmph! *ahem* I went to a Super Bowl "party" being hosted by a friend. It didn't seem like a party, hence
