Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
I never post
well i never post, but i do get on lol does that make everyone mad or what =P
at least i made some wallpapers
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Sunday, January 8, 2006
Happy New Years
Its a little late but yay. I didnt do anything really but eat ^_^' Hope everyone else had better holidays than I.
What Do I Look Like?
A woman was trying to do her laundry one day, when her washing machine suddenly broke down. Distraught, she called her husband at the office and said, "Honey, can you please come home and fix the washing machine? It doesn't work." The angry husband replied, "What do I look like? The freakiní Maytag man?" and hung up. The woman decided to go to the Laundromat to complete her washing. She got in the car, but when she turned the key in the ignition, it wouldn't start. She again called her husband at work and said, "Honey, I tried to go to the Laundromat with the car, but it wouldn't start. Can you come home and take a look at it?" Again, the angry husband snaps, "What do I look like? Freakiní Mr. Goodwrench?" and hung up. She decided that the best thing to do is call the Maytag man. The Maytag man arrived and fixed the washing machine. She then asked him if he knows anything about fixing cars. He replied that he knows a little and goes outside and takes a look under the hood. Ten minutes later, he returned and said, "Your car is running fine now. The only thing wrong was your fuel filter was a little dirty." The lady said, "Wow, you're a pretty handy guy! How much will this all cost?" The Maytag man says, "Iíll tell ya what, lady. You can bake me a cake or have sex with me - your choice." Later that evening, the husband returned home from work. The lady explained to her husband that the Maytag man fixed the washing machine and the car. The husband asked how much all of this will cost. She replied that he wanted me to bake a cake for him or have sex. The husband then said "Well, what kind of cake did you bake for him?" The lady said, "What do I look like? Freakiní Betty Crocker?"
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Friday, December 30, 2005
Sorry I wasnt here for Christmas
i went away to a evil plave without a computer, but it was christmas so i tryed to forget about it...thank you everyone who sent me a card ^_^
I though this was kinda funny...
Laying Off Sarah Or Jack
Mr. Smith owned a small business. He had two employees, Sarah and Jack. They were both extremely good employees - always willing to work overtime and chip in where needed.
Mr. Smith was looking over his books one day and decided that he wasn't making enough money to warrant two employees and he would have to lay one off. But both Sarah and Jack were such good workers he was having trouble finding a fair way to do it. He decided that he would watch them work and the first one to take a break would be the one he would lay off.
So, he sat in his office and watched them work. Suddenly, Sarah gets a terrible headache and needs to take an aspirin. She gets the aspirin out of her purse and goes to the water cooler to get something to wash it down with. Mr. Smith follows her to the water cooler, taps her on the shoulder and says, "Sarah, I'm going to have to lay you or Jack off."
And Sarah says, "Can you jack off? I have a headache!"
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Sunday, December 11, 2005
Been Gone A While
Its hard to get on now, my internet sucks and cuts out all the time, most of the time when i get on is to post the wallpapers i can make with my crapy photoshop my computer can barely get to work lol it cant use alot of things the files cant be reconized.
Your wings are DRAGON wings. Massive and
covered in scales, they shimmer with strength
and magic. They are the most obvious display of
your power - though it runs equally throughout
your heart and mind. You are uncompromising and
grave, with a profound sense of justice. You
have firm ideas about what is right and what is
wrong and set out to fix what problems you can.
You realize that you are more capable of
dealing with life and evil than most, and as
such you see it as your responsibility to
protect those who cannot defend themselves. You
have existed since antiquity and as such you
are wise far beyond your years in this
lifetime. While you strive for fairness and
peace, if someone should steal from your cave
of treasure (though not all that glitters is
gold) or compromise the happiness of you or one
who is close to you - they have signed their
death warrant. You have a mighty vengeance and
will unleash it upon such people immediately
and mercilessly. Arguing with you is
useless...you rarely back down and are known
for holding firm in your beliefs. Sometimes you
feel intensely burdened with the troubles of
others...acting as a Guardian can get so
wearisome. But you never give up...you see it
as your life's mission. Often very introverted,
you can be so smart...it's scary. Such a
combination of intelligence, creativity, power,
beauty, and magic is often intimidating to
those around you - who are also unlikely to
understand you. Arrogant, proud, overserious,
and sometimes a bit greedy or obsessed with
whatever treasure you choose to pursue...you
have enchanted people for centuries, and will
continue to do so.
*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla
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Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Title:Sensitive Sess With Adam
-->The man who play Pokemon
*enter scene where Adam is on a swing*
Adam: Pokemon, is a little boy, thats a memory now. Pushed aside by better,stronger card games. But I'm interested in the victims.
*enter scene where you see a weird looking guy,with brown curls, and wearing glasses, hugging a Pikachu-plushy*
Adam: Meet Billy. Billy was cought up in the 'Catch em All' fever, and was left behind while the fickle american consumers had moved on.
*enter scene where Adam is interviewing Billy*
Adam: Billy,you love Pokemon.
Billy: Its the greatest game in the world, you HAVE to play it-
Adam: Shhh! What does it feel like being curtest social outcast?
Adam: You know...A human freak show.
Billy: Um....I guess its having no one else to play with, I mean, sometimes, I play with myself...but its just not the same.
Adam:....Have you ever been with a women?
Adam: Touching her skin with your fingers. *getting...* slowly kissing her as she giggles softly. Pushing the material of her shirt up higher, and higher towards her head.
Adam: Really plenge her neckline, as you move in for one final--
Adam: *normal* have you done that?
Billy: Sometimes, when I get scared, I pretend that I'm BillyChu
Adam: What does BillyChu sound like?
*enter small scene where you see Billy behind a tree,saying Biiilllyychuuuu*
*enter scene where both of them are walking down the hall, Billy showing Adam his pokemon cards, and Adam throwing it away*
Adam: *narrator mode* As I spend more time with Billy, I started to understand his pain.
*enter scene wear Adam is drinking Pepsi and walking off,leaving Billy behind*
Adam: *narrator mode* What is it like being a turn-based man in a real time world? Learning more about his obsession was the only way to help me help him.
*enter scene where Adam pushes Billy away*
*enter scene in a cafe-Billy is showing Adam more cards*
Billy: *shows card* Basic Pokemon
Billy: *another card* evolutionary Pokemon
*the scene goes on, Adam getting more and more irritated*
Billy: And Bayleaf-
Adam: *snap* SHUT UP!!! THEIR F***ING CARDS!!! THEIR CARDS!!! *throws cards at Billy* THIS AREN'T REAL!!! THIS IS NOTHING BUT CARDS FOR CHILDREN!!! *throws more cards* *runs away*
*enter scene where Adam is infront of the toilet door, Billy is inside weeping*
Adam: Look, the game's not for children, its just really stupid.
Adam: It lame-ish
Billy: *cries somemore*
Adam: Its for retarded children
Billy: *cries even more*
*enter scene where Adam is walking in the park with Billy,who is holding a Pikachu Plushie*
Adam: *narrator mode* I have earn Billy's trust and I suspected that with just a little bit of help, Billy could live a normal life again.
*background: some guy falling down*
*same scene as before*
Adam: Do you have any friends?
Billy: Well, theres, Squirtle-
Adam: Is that what you just did in your pants?
Billy: ...Er, Charmander, Pikachu
Adam: Those that aren't Pokemon?
Billy: There's Mai, and Misty
Adam: Those that aren't characters in the show? And over the age of 10, and not your mom?
Billy: ...well, there's this homeless man who,um, pays me a dollar to...see me in my bathing suit area...
Adam: ...Do you have a change for 5?
Adam: Just Kidding! I'm just kidding! Since you and I got together, I found a group of Pokemon players for you to play with!
Adam: Right over there!
Billy: Oh boy! *runs to direction Adam pointed at*
*enter scene where a group of 3 guys, dress in gangster outfits,playing cards*
Guy1: Take that ******
Guy2: haha *****
Billy: *runs to them* You guys paly Pokemon??
*all guys stand around Billy*
Guy1: Pokemon?!! This is Yugioh Town Mother F*****!!! *throws Yugioh card at his face*
Guy2: Its all good, homes.
*enter scene where the Gangster Yugioh group beats the crap out of Billy*
Adam: You know, the best part of this job is, helping a man feel good about themselves. Well, my work here is done.
*background: Gangster Yugioh group stop beating Billy up, and throws stuff at him*
Adam: Tune in to the next Sensitive Sess *walks off*
*Billy is now alone on the gound, his wallet on the ground*
Adam: *runs back and grab Billy's wallet*
*back in the studio*
Adam: You know, Billychu never fully recovered from his brutal assault at the hands of the Yugioh Gang. But I think we all learn something from his story, don't screw with the Yugioh fans.
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