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Friday, September 17, 2010


Ah, a place to go where no one will see, and it also feels slightly at home too!

its scary. here i am now at 20 years old and i am such a strange person. I didnt expect or ever see that i would find myself here.

trying to grasp onto what i usually do when im lonely. and its been so long, it doesnt feel right anymore.

it sucks loving someone sometimes.

now that i dont have him, my heart beats rapidly all the time especially before i try to sleep.. and that aching pain hits right up high on my chest. it really wears me down.

i am in complete despair because of it.

the worst of all, only time can get me closer to happiness. And every second i seem to count down.

No ones company fills my heart with the same contentment that yours did. everything i do and see and say just seems so pointless now.

life seems pointless.

im trying to just get out of this point and keep myself going. But seriously....life is so fucking hard.

the only thing i miss about the past is how naive i was to the world. life never plays fairly. all its decisions are unfair...

but i can get through this. he is my motivation.

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