myOtaku.com: LiquidSilver

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1990-03-17
Gender
• Female
Location
• Inside 'The World'
Member Since
• 2005-04-24
Occupation
• Professional Sheep Critic.(is your sheep good enough?) And a waitress.
Real Name
• Brandi!

I managed to ditch a whole semester of school. DITCHING IS BAD!
Anime Fan Since
• Since i was little, But realized what it was around 6th grade.
Favorite Anime
•

Goals
• Get my GED, The Licsense.
Hobbies
• WRITING, reading, internet, music, culture, vampires, mermaids, art, subeta, harry potter, fantasy, bitching...mya you all know. xD
Talents
• Im good at writing. at least i think i am lol. its my passion, without it i would wither away and die.

myOtaku.com: LiquidSilver

Monday, December 31, 2007

hi.

Its new years eve. Let me start off this entry by saying, it might be pretty damn deppressing. So you have been warned!

Wow, a whole year. i cant say i remember all of it.I beleive just before 2007 started is when i dropped out of school. It did it because i couldnt go on with all the pain school was causing me. not only did i feel like the friends i had completely hated me, which made me feel completely alone. But i also realised there was no way i could make up my grades in time. So i left. and i told myself, 2007 will be my time of change. my time of healing.

I think i've healed a lot. i cant tell you how, because im not sure how. i just feel like i have.

2007 was...my moment of standing still. a moment where i had so much time to just sit and think, thats pretty much all i did. most of the time, i thought a lot about what i lost lol. sometimes, i just sat in the corner and cried so hard about those things. but i think, i cried so much, im past it. Even though, i will always miss those people i cared so much for so many years ago, i think i wont be crying about them anymore. but in 2008...

i also cried for my family. which im sure i will always cry for. I can tell you now, my mother may trying to act like a mother, but she cant hide her true self around me. I may despise her more then anyone else on this earth, but i also pity her. she's a sick women, theres nothing i can do that will ever change her. the only thing she can ever do to hurt me now, is the fact that she knows she hurts me, and she doesn't even care. but in 2008...

i've spent my whole life, trying to help my family be formed. trying to fix them.trying to get us to get along, trying to get my mother realise how wrong she is, trying to get my sister to be more outspoken, trying to get my dad to realise that i will always be there for him. 2007 was no different. but in 2008...

I tried to step out of who i was again. bad idea really. although, i suppose at the time, i was just frustrated with who i was. i constantly told myself, i wasnt good enough for him. i always turned down everyones offers to hang out. and why? because, in my heart, i feel like im not good enough for any of them! but in 2008...

In 2008 no more standing still. No more dwelling on people that have moved on. no more stabbing myself repeatedly because i cant stand the site of my mother. no more telling myself im not good enough for them. no passing up chances of love and new experiences. Im going to make this my year. my year of growth. so, in 2008, i make these resolutions:

1.Get my liscense, and make my dad fix my car.
2.Get my GED.
3.Find a better job.
4.Find friends that love me.
5.Find a GUY that loves me.
6.Move away from parents.
7.Start at Front Range.

That seems like a lot O.o or in my eyes it does. and the only 2 i really feel i can accomplish are the first 3. but i dont care, this is what im striving for this year.

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