Monday, December 7, 2009

Happiness
School teaches students all the wrong meanings of happiness. To them, to be "happy" is the same as to be "sad," as in an emotion equal to that of sadness or anger. But that isn't what "happiness" actually is.
To be happy requires time. A lot of time. And perhaps sacrifices and/or choices that are neither easy nor fair. And I'm not saying all of that stops once you find happiness, because in real life, it doesn't.
But I think it's safe to say that I've found happiness here with Andy. It was a hard choice, to be away from my family; but in time, I've experienced the most wonderful sensations that only time with him could I have learned.
It's rather difficult trying to put this feeling in words, so I took a few days to think about how I should write it and with what words. And in that time, I found out that I may not have been the only one to find this happiness.
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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Sans Facon
Physics, not so good; Chemistry, not good at all; French, you'd think this class was required. At least I've gotten one credit hour for Science.
Out-of-state tuition at IUPUI is $663 per credit hour, times 15... which you'd think would come out to ~ $10,000, so then how come my financial aid of $23,000/2 not enough to cover it? GREAT QUESTION!!! ..I'll actually hafto ask that tomorrow when I go see my advisor.
Well, things are goin to be changing up a bit. When I'm tired, exercise. No sitting, no sleeping.
And also, I decided I could probably get back into drawing... as a stress reliever. Take some time outta studying and take a break that doesn't involve equations and vocabulary.
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Saturday, November 7, 2009

Silver Lining
Honestly, I don't know what the heck a "silver lining" is supposed to mean. I've heard it since junior high, thought about it, probably learned it at some point, but the meaning's never stuck.
I have a lot of growing up to do, but I can't do it on my own. I need support, from my family, friends and peers. Unfortunately, I left all that back at home. Andy, I need your help. It's not an option that I have, but something I jus NEED.
I chose to come down here, but now you have to choose to help me. I need your help so that I can stand on my own two feet. But until then, you're basically all the support I have.
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Friday, November 6, 2009

(cont.)
AND apparently, that's as much as you can write in a day's post.

You realize that what you're running away from the most, you're gonna miss. But you run.

When I decided to come to IUPUI, I hated my family. I'm not sure any more where all that hatred came from, but it was there. I was also in love. Fancy stuff. But it's so hard to imagine life without the person you love. And at the time, it didn't matter what was gonna become of me, I knew there was someone else who I cared for more than myself.

It's weird, how it took me 19 years to realize what my family means to me.
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The Last Goodnight
1) Google Chrome is very annoying because it's got some weirdo spell check thing going on with like, underlining and whatnot
2) I really need to do some REAL exercising.

College life, not the funnest. People talk about parties and getting drunk. Hanging out with friends and going bowling. Shopping and movies.
But it's pretty expensive, trying to live the whole thing. And it's not high school, so who cares if you skip a lecture or watch rated R movies in the main lobby of your dorms. In the end--technically, the beginning--you're paying for it all anyways. Paying a LOT actually, so soon enough you realize you don't want to have to do this all over again; you realize if you don't get it down, get it right the first time, you lose motivation to do it over. You realize, and FEEL, for the first time that people are relying on you.
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Monday, October 19, 2009

Hm, so went to go see Taylor Swift with Andy---great concert. Um, Halloween next weekend. I have a test this afternoon....hmm, I jus can't think of what I was gonna write last night...oh well, probably nothing important.

Hm, working right now. I'm kinda glad I'm workin 8AM because there's like, nobody here. So I'm jus sitting here, chilling out, studying, facebooking, as if I were in my own dorm room. Yeah.

Ok this is lame. Bye.
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Sunday, October 4, 2009

When you stop making mistakes is when you stop learning.
Hmm... Well Friday, Andy came over. We hung out in Indy for the night, went to Circle Centre and ate at Johnny Rockets then went to Pandorum. Johnny Rockets is Andy's kind of restaurant---all that old fashion American style stuff. The food was gooood, too bad it was so late though, coz they stopped making milkshakes before we could get one =.(

Pandorum was ok. I haven't watched tv for like a month, so I didn't know what all was playing! But when Andy suggested a movie, I'm like "Heck yeah" I don't go to movies as often as everybody else in the family, so it was nice getting to ge with Andy.


Let's see, we stayed the night at my dorms, and then Saturday we drove down to Marshall and Terre Haute. I got to meet Andy's other girlfriend, Jane; she's nice, probably a good girlfriend for him.. Then we went to the store that Andy got my shiney sun necklace at (yeah, I already forgot the name of the place..haha), and we went shopping around for a bit. After I got hungry, we ate at Buffalo Wild Wings (first time for me!). So Andy goes: "Oh you should do the Blazin' sauce." And I'm like, "OK." Well I don't know if he was SERIOUS or not, but he started laughing or some rude making-fun-of-Soua thing, so I'm like -___-

Well apparently the sauce is supposed to be like, really hot. Well, I'm not a big fan of buffalo sauce; I don't think it's actually a real kind of...spice. Or whatever. To me, buffalo sauce is like watered down peppers.. only the smell is hot coz when you wet peppers, it lets off this itchy feeling in your nose which makes you sneeze. Yeah. And too bad I got soda. Usually I don't, jus because 1) it's not even that good for you, and 2) it makes your food taste different from if you jus drink water. Sooooo the Sprite + the sauce, not so good. Other than that, that place was deliciiiiiousss. Haha.

THEN we went to another movie (=
This time we saw Zombbieland. I really don't like the scary/stupid type of movies, like the Scary Movies and Napoleon Dynamite--that kinda stuff--so I never spent money watching them. But Friday night Andy had wanted to see that, but I wanted to see Pandorum, and we went to mine, so last night we went to Andy's. Haha, compromise, see? Actually, it wasn't really; the movies were kind of an impulse thing for Andy.

After the movie we went to the Halloween costume shop. Andy has made it very clear that HE'S GONNA BE JESUS, HE'S GONNA BE JESUS!! So yeah, I guess I'm gonna hafto be Harry Potter or something..


Oh, and this is my first Sunday at my dorms. So far, it's pretty boring. I KNOW there's a football game on, but no one's watching and the tv's not on, and me, not knowing what any of the channels are, is not gonna risk looking like an idiot tryin to turn on the tv...blah.
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Friday, October 2, 2009

TGIFriday
Hmm....WELL apparently I'm not part of a love triangle AND it's not cool to joke about it. But anyways, I ate a bagel this morning with cream cheese... should've been heated, but whatev. Chem rec was ok. I start to think I'm understanding the concepts, then the teacher throws a whole nother chart of rules at us, and I'm back at square one. But honestly, I guess that's why I chose to study it. Everything is connected, and in the end, we will be able to make Au---GOLD for those of you who don't take chem (=

Um, spending the weekend with Andy! Which is nice about the weekend, I'm not bored enough to come online haha.

And OMG! It's almost my birthday!!! I dunno, but it seems you jus forget to think about these things that you used to have so much time to think about in the past. Like recess: 15 min recess after lunch, you could play a million games, run around the soccer field a million times, and recess was STILL not over yet. But now in 15 minutes, you barely have enough time to eat. Or do whatever. Strange thing, time.
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Thursday, October 1, 2009

Taylor Swift
HEY!!! I'm part of a LOVE TRIANGLE!!

Me + Andy + Taylor Swift....it jus doesn't get better than this (=


Hmmm....Dear Journal,
Today I did Andy's online Astronomy homework... failed miserably. Lab today was retarded as heck. I don't know if it's the room setting, the stools, or WHAT! but something about the room is jus very uncomfortable...
Yesterday I turned in my background check thingy for employment at Ball Hall... WHY DOESN'T THE LADY JUS GIVE ME THE JOB?!!!! AGHHHHHH I need to secure a job by October 16th (I believe) or else I won't get work-study... I must've missed that part in the financial aid package agreement thingy.........yeah. So basically if I don't get a work-study job, I'm gonna have less and less money available to pay for school fees. How sad.

And btw, since Andy reads my journal anyways, I decided I'd jus post it online. That way, maybe he'll stop reading it. He tends to do that.

There's a carnival goin on tonight at Ball Hall, the CarniBall. Free admission, prizes, and food. Yay! 6PM-9PM ET.
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Sunday, July 5, 2009

July 5 is the 186th day of the year (187th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. There are 179 days remaining until the end of the year.

Yeah, I'm just really bored because I decided to clean up myOtaku, except I don't even know what to write. Perhaps this is why it died in the first place...huh.
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