Saturday, March 10, 2007

   This love for her haunts my dreams:
Ever since I fell for you, I started dreaming of you. They're good dreams, but it seems so real, that I want to go up to you and say how nice it was under the moonlit stars. It haunts my dreams, cause I can't stop doing it, I mean I like thinking about you all the time. But I know you don't like it. I know we are just friends, and I know we haven't known each other very long. But when I see you, I think to myself, you are the most beautiful person ever. That thought almost comes out as words, but I hold it in, for I don't want to ruin our friendship. I don't care that you don't like me back, but I wish my dreams were real, you and me sitting under the stars, me holding you close.

I want to be with you more than anything, I know i'm different from you, but I don't care, I know i'm emo, but that doesn't mean I can't love. I wish you'd understand, that my love for you huants my dreams every night. I wish I can hold you close until you fall asleep in my arms, right under the stars.

I want to tell you my true feelings for you, but i'm scared you'll shun me. And never want to be friends again. And I couldn't take that, you're a really cool person.

If you fell, i'd catch you before you fall. I'll be there for you, at all times, even if you don't see me there. But something far more greater will be there, love. I know that sounds corny, but I can't help but feel, that i'm in love with you.

And i'm never going to force you to be with me. I just wish you knew all of this. You will find out someday, I will tell you when I am strong enough to tell you.
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   Silent Tears:
I am breaking down,
can't feel a thing..to the point where I feel numb.
I feel so alone,
so rejected.

Now i've found life is just a fairy tale.....

(chorus)

Can't anyone hear me crying all alone down here?
No!..they can't hear me past these silent tears.
It seems the whole world is ignoring me, leaving me here to rot in the soil.
These silent tears I cry are a message, a message saying "You killed me."


I am shunned by the world,
I wish I could find my love again.
I'm tired of crying myself to sleep every night.

I need somebody to save me,
Someone to hold me close at night.
But yet that is all just a fairy tale

(chorus)

Can't anyone hear me crying all alone down here?
No!..they can't hear me past these silent tears.
It seems the whole world is ignoring me, leaving me here to rot in the soil.
These silent tears I cry are a message, a message saying "You killed me."


I'm all alone,
all except my knife, it hasn't left me yet,
it's my only savior.
Pitch darkness feels my surroundings.
I cannot see through my eyes, darkness dwells my vision with tears,

Now I fully do understand, life is a true fairy tale.

(chorus repeat3X )

Can't anyone hear me crying all alone down here?
No!..they can't hear me past these silent tears.
It seems the whole world is ignoring me, leaving me here to rot in the soil.
These silent tears I cry are a message, a message saying "You killed me."
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   Today:
Okay so last night I felt a little suicidal, and I took 2 extra pills than normal. And this morning I wake up feeling nautious and weak, so I get up slowly, and go take my shower, then when I get out I get told there's no school, in my mind i'm saying,what a relief. There was no school today, cause my aunt and cousins are sick. So I got to stay home and be lazy.

After all that, me and my grandma dropped off my grandpa at work, around 12:25 maybe. And then went to the library to pick some of my books I had on hold. I got Tsubasa vol.3 and Naruto vol.3, I was pissed cause I need the second to Naruto, but I can wait.

So then we go get my mom from her place, so she could spend the day here, until my grandma and grandpa get off work. When we got home, I made me some top ramen, and we watched The Lost Boys. Now we're about to watch Underworld: Evolution.

So yeah, nothing bad happened today.
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