Thursday, November 20, 2008

The first Friday I won't be on all night


:D TWILIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As of the time I am posting this, Twilight officially comes out in 5 hours 58 minutes!!!!!
(12:01am)
I can't go to the midnight premiere like I had planned (even though, yes, I would have school)
LOL My mother said they should have no school for tomorrow, but they were sold out anyway.
I'll catch the 4pm with my friend Sabrina right after school :3
But...wow, even though it's only 6:08pm, I think I'll go to bed in a few minutes....I'm extremely tired...I think something is wrong with me...







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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Breath......annnnnnd.......*squeal*


Please find a ribbon and paste it into your profile!!!



So you know how I was looking around for that lullaby? I have no idea how she did it, but my friend found it online for me! C.D and all!!! And with like, no information nor knowing what the song really was! It was ridiculously crazy, but I was so happy I was crying!
See, when I was little...how to explain this.
Who's got my house number? Sareena? No one call the cops. O_o
Anyways, my father is abusive. He left 7 years ago and drama. Drama. Drama. Moved in with another woman, never got a divorce with my mom, and would come over to our house and beat me. So, obviously I'd get upset...and I was younger then so I listened to bubbly music, and there was a lullaby that would make me happy :3 The one I was looking for!
Well, even though the divorce is now finalized (As of 8/16/08) Dad still seems to show up and beat us. Mom just tells me to "hang in there" untill we can move. I kinda don't want to do either. I want to cry and curse and through a fit and beable to blame someone for all the dang crap in my life. But there isn't anyone to blame.
Not for the abuse, not for my out-of-control Diabetes, no one. And I can't cry and lecture and vent. It's just not possible.
For some reason, lately school has become difficult for me too. I just don't understand math anymore, and Science is hard to keep up with because I'm absent so much (hense, my out of control Diabetes). Then, if one thing goes wrong in life, everthing else seems to fall back down on me and I get stressed and over flow like that.
Was it two or three summers ago where I almost died in the PHX hospital? I can't seem to remember a basic thing like that. I think it was two....but it seems like three...anyhow!

I may do a different theme soon. I know I seem to change them alot, but I'm in the mood for something a little softer. *stretches*

LOL, real quick. My friend was over here, and read my last post, ect. And said, "Rachel? WTF a kiss?" But yep. LOL And it made me remember, I had this friend once, and they were tlaking about bowling. Well, I've never been bowling, and I told him that, and he replied: "Never been bowling? Rachel! That's like never being kissed!" And, hah, I was like "I never have been" LOL He wasn't referring to a family kiss, but yeah...IDK for a brief moment I thought that was funny.

And BTW, I don't usually go on it but a couple times a month, but check out my MySpace page sometime? ~**CLICKY THE PICKY**~








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Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I miss the kisses


8:09pm REPOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL I swear I'm not on my period...IDK School is stressing me out so maybe I just had a little break down?
I miss my hugs and kisses lol :3


Early post:
Well........Hi! ^^;
I've got nothing to talk about. Life sucks. And please, no one put "Oh I'm sorry *hugs*" Because, that's a load of crap. You really don't care.
And no one put some anolgy on life that's gonna annoy me even more. Or some story relating my problems to yours. Cause mostly, none of you know my story, my life, none the less go through my crap.
And if someone wants to come up to me and say "Oh, I'm abused too." Great. Do you have a serious case of Type 1 Diabetes, too? And if you can tell me that too. They, hey. Let's be best friends.

(-__-) I ish in such a bad mood.







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Saturday, November 15, 2008

I'm still alive


12:00am....And I'm still alive~
LOL
"This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction."

It seems all of my friends have gone to bed. Those boring...lazy people! XD Grant, and Xerin, and Alex. *sigh* Oh! Maybe Sareena is still alive? :D I'll call her when I'm done posting...lol

"Maybe Black Mesa
THAT WAS A JOKE.
HAHA. FAT CHANCE.
Anyway, this cake is great.
It's so delicious and moist."

Well. My little drama club wasn't too hard to get by...I didn't even have to go back to my ex...he came back to me...which, I found amusing. And, HAHA. FAT CHANCE. He asked me out again. And it was kinda like; "Dude...if you're gonna throw a fit over me, why'dja break up with me???" But anyways.

"But there's no sense crying over every mistake.
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
And the Science gets done.
And you make a neat gun.
For the people who are still alive."

I got to talk to my old friend Shane today! So that was great, poor boy had to put up with me texting though...LOL He's so cute!!!! X3 Last year, on the phone, he sounded like a little girl, I swear! Now, he finally sounds like a nice, teenage boy. *Hooray* So, I'll call him in about 10 hours. LOL...I'm a busy busy bee! Wheeee~~~ LOL I should go find food...eat that salad from earlier...

So, one of my few childhood friends, (we literally have been together since day 1) Josh, he had this little chin hair...and he has red hair, so it was bugging me cause he had this one hair...underneath his chin...LOL So I yanked it! And he slapped me!!!! One of those really harsh slaps to where everyone is like; *gasp* And then there is a scratch on your cheek with blood. That was so me...

"I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart.
And killed me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire."

So, LOL I was pn Photobucket and typed in where I live. Yep yep. So, then this girls album came up and I looked in it just cause I was bored...and there was this picture labled "Hair Cut" and I thought, wow...that looks awfully like Rafaels studio where I get MY hair cut...and so I clicked on the link....and it was him!!! It was the funniest thing!! I'm gonna tell him about it when I go see him today~

Well...I'm bored and out of it...I'll go watch Tv!
I betcha my boyfriend lies to me...

"Look at me still talking
when there's Science to do.
When I look out there, it makes me GLaD I'm not you.
I've experiments to run.
There is research to be done.
On the people who are still alive."






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Thursday, November 13, 2008

Stress Stress! XD LOL I think come tomorrow, I'll try and work something out with my ex. But then again, that doesn't mean anything. I'm afraid, it's just not gonna be good enough for him. But, either way, I'll be fine. I'm pretty mature, and realize that the relationships I have at this age are not goint to last. at least not "romantic" relationships. But, our sub in math started talking about his girlfriend. And, I guess it made me realize no teen as a real relationship. So drama class is over! LOL

I had to write a 1,500 word essay in class today on "Me". I freaked out! It's so hard for me to talk about myself. Is that just me, or is tht a thing for everyone? It's easy for someone else to point stuff out about you, but you can't seem to find those qualities yourself? Or vise versa? So even though 1,500 isn't that much...on me? Maybe if I'm lucky I'll meet a 500 word goal. LOL

Twilight comes out next Friday. I am so excited! Do people realize that teens are mostly the ones that read the series? Or do teens just not go to school anymore? Because the midnight premiere is at 12:00am on a Friday. I have school!!! But, maybe I'll try and go...I'll just come home and get ready for school and try not to fall asleep. But, maybe I'll be smart and just wait untill that evening to go.

(Zaku I did mention your birthday yesterday. I know I don't talk to you much, so I have little to give, but you can make a request for your B-day present if you want? ^^)






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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Lalalalal~ Headache


Gah!!! >__< I have the biggest chemistry test tomorrow in science! @_@ I've been absent from school for 6 days! Today was my first day back since then, and I have all these tests piled up for me tomorrow! Along with a ton of hoomework from algebra today...oh....I have a headache...
None the less, my teachers made this website...

http://teamafrica.wikispaces.com/

It just makes everything worse...I mean, at least some of my notes are up on there I guess...but, I mean...come on! We don't want our homework on the interenet too! IDK...

Hatsune Miku seems my new "obsession" for now. Not for long, yesterday it was Konata, and today Miku...I'm not too sure....hm....well...I don't seem to be too good at posting lately... *sigh*

And happy birthday to my dear friend Zaku!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wuffles you and shall draw you something! You're request my dear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I feel like doing one of those huge posts that make no sense whatsoever. OùO
Though I'm not going to do that, I have been looking for the music of a lullaby I used to listen to as a child. But, it's no use seeing how I do not know if this song as words- and I cant exactly describe music. I know the CD was simply called "Lullabies" and it was a red CD....but this information isn't any good either. It's upsetting especially since I have been depressed lately... *sigh*







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Saturday, November 8, 2008

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Monday, October 27, 2008

What was the point of coming here to post?
...
Don't remember...
lol I feel so bad! I never seem to have time to comment on my friend's posts. But then again, my friend's list has decreased by an amazing ammount. It seems none of them post anymore! Well, you do Zaku...but you're posts are soooo long! X_x I really have to have the time to read it all and comment! I ish sorry!

You know all those promises you seem to make yourself? Like; "Oh I am so marrying him!" or "I'm never gonna marry" or all that stuff? (-__-) You see how you also ever stay to those promises? LOL there is always something that happens that interrupts what you were saying for like, three years.
Like my whole "I'm never get a crush" from three years ago? Well that obviously wasn't in affect for very long. And then my "Oh, well, I'm never gonna date." It seems that is starting to fall apart too.

I'm really sick lately...I look so funny! XD In bed with three blankets and a robe on at the same time. The gown underneath, laptop in lap and a box of tissues at the side. My hair isn't combed and my face is all flushed from being sick. That picture is the deffinition of sick. And it's really bad, because since I've been sick, I haven't felt like eating anything. And so then, since I haven't eaten in three days now, when I go to try and eat, my stomache just won't take it because it's so empty. O_o" My bad...

The campeign is really starting to bother me...I mean, it's not like I can vote or anytthing, but it's gonna affect me and my friends just like anyone else. Plus, by the time McCain/Obama's term is up-- I'll be 17. So what happens during those years is really gonna hit me hard in the butt. (lol)
I have faith in McCain...I think he would just do better.

Awwww X3 I met a really nice guy Saturday. But it was odd. Just a random PM from the guy, and then I was freaking out because it was so random, and I didn't want to be like "I don't even know you" because then I felt like, well what if I just don't remember....lol ^^" So I kept talking to him, which was a good thing I guess because we're rather on good terms now. And surprisingly nice to each other dispite only being in a relationship for maybe 36 hours. Other people that I've known for like, forever arn't as close with me as he actually is.
...
What's that mean?






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Saturday, October 25, 2008

W....X....Y....Z?


I find it hard to organize my posts into sections that go orderly. They always seem to end up cluttered and randomly placed.

My uncle and his wife have their positions in banking. Well, since there is this economy situation, they have recently lost their jobs. They both have temporary jobs for the moment, and my uncle recieved a call from a lady in Manchester, England. (O_O) It's a job offer. So, he's gonna take the interview and if he get's the job, he get's to move to England! And I'll get to move there with him!! =D England!!!!
But, when I think about it, it's sad. I won't beable to text my bestfriend anymore ;_;
See, my uncle currently lives in Phoenix, so this last week I was going to go live there with him in case he did get the England offer. And just moving to Phoenix I would have still had to give up texting my best friend. ;_;
So...I don't know what I'll do.

I tried to do suicide yesterday....um.....well. Interesting experience...I was so close to pulling the trigger on that gun too. ^^"

ANYWAYS!

Our church has a little halloween thing for members this Friday. They expect all of us to dress up. lol So, Im being a vampire! Bella, actually, from Twilight. LOL So, the thing was, my friend was like, "Where is...your Edward? LOL"
And I just kinda stood there. "..."
So then we made a joke out of texting my bestfriend <--(Same as all the other times mentioned) and we were like;
"I need to kidnap you next Friday."
And then had to explain the whole I need an Edward. Then, he was lost so I had to review the whole Twilight series with him baisically. LOL
_________________________________
Every 18 minutes somebody dies from a suicide.
Every 38 seconds somebody
attempts one.






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