Friday, January 25, 2008

   Hello^^
Hey there^^
It's been a while since the last time I updated hasn't it?

I'm doing alright.Just a bit dizzy sometimes.(but that's probably because I'm now breathing differently because of my hyperventilation and all)

Agh,yesterday I got a hyperventilation attack,after a week or so of sleeping so well.Crap...Well,it wasn't so bad anymore,since I know what to do and I know what it is,so that's okay. School's been okay, my best friend let me down in some way,I feel a bit neclected by her,since she almost doesn't talk to me anymore and seems to hang out with other people.She said she was just busy,when I asked about it.Hm,I'm not so sure about it,I mean,she could just talk to me some more in class.Even the teachers noticed it and asked me if we had some fight or something.I told them I didn't know,because I really didn't know.I've been thinking and worried about this for a little while,but I know I just shouldn't,it's her decision,since I didn't do anything wrong to her or anything.
Meh,Monday was okay,but after class I suddenly burst in tear without any reason!(lucky me everyone already left,except the very nice teacher) well,she told me to go make an appointment with the doctor (sheesh...This is like...The 5th time I'm going) an then go home. Well,the doctor said my emotions were a bit out of control.That's most likely because I was sick a week or two ago and I'm still a bit recovering and I've been worried about my not-so-good-friend-after-all friend.I've been talking about it with my dad that evening too.He just told me to let her do as she likes,since I can't change it and it's her decision,but there was just one question in my mind: why is she doing this?

Well,after I told her about how I felt,she felt a bit angry about the fact that I thought of her this way,well...Hello,I don't think it's strange!I mean,classmates and teachers are all asking me if we had a fight or anything!

But it wasn't really all of the sudden.I mean,she started to hang out with another girl a little while ago,but she was still hanging out with me and when I came back from being sick,she didn't even said hi to me,or sat next to me,okay,it's fine if she go sit next to someone else sometimes,but it's in almost every class and when she is sitting near me,she doesn't really talk to me or something.
Well,I've been worried about this for a little while,now I think 'Ah what the heck...There are more people around here,who still stands next to me after almost 4 years!' and it's true,my other friend,who's sadly enough in another class is always calling me,talking waaaay too much and just care about me,after almost 4 years. And another small group of 2 - 3 girls and 1 boy were always there for me when I needed them.
And even today,a girl from the first class just suddenly started to talk with me and all...I was like 'wtf...' well,I think I've been acting a bit differently now,I'm enjoying things some more,I think.I'm not so worried about things as I used to.
I'm just letting things go as they go,I don't really need to worry about things like that...I mean,what will I get with worrying and do nothing?Nothing at all!Of course,I'm still a bit shy,but I'm trying to be more open to other people and all,accepting new contacts,or whatever you call it.X3

I didn't have any hyperventilation attack for a quite a while,but last night I had it.I tried to ignore it,but failed,so I went downstairs,told my dad that I'm having the feeling of hyperventilation again and just sat down.Lol,I wasn't so scared of it,because I now know that it's harmless,just annoying.I took water and took my asthma medicines (for extra because I was kind of breathing difficult) and watched a bit of tv.(distraction helps you calm down) after I calmed down I went back but I knew I wouldn't go alseep that easily,since I still felt a bit strange. (before I got that hyperventilation,I suddenly got that strange feeling as if I was scared of something,while I wasn't even thinking of something scary and all!)I grabbed my mp3 and put on some calm music on a very low volume,so I would calm down and get really sleepy.(it really works,after that I can just go and fall asleep peacefully without any worries)
So I didn't fell asleep till 2 am...Lucky me I didn't have a long day today,lol.
I was dizzy today,but I think that's because I didn't sleep well last night and my 'breathing teacher' told me it possibly had to do with my ew breathing style (breathe in through nose and out through mouth) because you are breathing so calmly so when doing something you might get a bit less oxygen than needed or something.Plus,breathing like this can make you feel sleepy,lol.

Well,I think I'll go sleep early tonight,especially since I have to get up a bit earlier tomorrow.I'm going to take a look on the school to see how the educations are what I might do after this school. I'm focussing more on the laboratory thing,since I'm just getting more interested the longer I think about it.As a back-up I have the administration,for if the laboratory fails. I'm kind of excited.I'm really looking forward to go!Hm,maybe I hyperventilated last night because of that,since they closer the day comes,the more I getting excited...Or it was just because I was being hyper after P.E. yesterday...Lol...Oh,whatever.

Well,some better news: I have submitten two arts!^^
I'm also still working on chapter 3 of my story Eternal Love part 1, Ancient Times of Cairo -Egypt.(lol,what a title I can come up with.X3)

But for now,I need to finish a bit of homework,or else I'll get in trouble when I need to turn it in...Meh...I don't want toooo!Me is lazy.X3
Don't worry,I find school really important,so I end up doing it anyway because it will e bugging me if I don't.X3

Well,I'm going to eat some noodles now,I'm hungry.X3
I hope you're doing fine.^^

~Kitsy~


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