Thursday, August 11, 2005

Welcome to my life in... Calculus!

This is the new theme, just in time for three weeks before school! Haha. Yesh, you can all scream in terror now.
It was originally suppose to be, colorful calculus, but it backfired on me and went berserker, so it's black and white. Only the banners are pinkish.

Well, anywho. Yesterday the thunder was horrific! I thought the sky was going to break! It 'thundered' about five times and each time kids all over the place outside would screech like they were in terrible terrible pain. Heh. That was amusing.

... I've often wondered this past summer, will I be any different when I get back to school? Sure. I'm different now. But will I sink back into a shell of this person I've embraced and become, because of school?
It's happened and I can't say I like it. Well, I'm going to try my best to remain me!

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Would anyone like a tour of my room? ^^ Epitome of mismatched things and childishness!



These are my stuffes animals, =P Aren't they cool?


This is my bed... =D That mini pillow is one I cannot sleep without. I hug it to death! ^^ I'm really just a big 'ol softy.


I got that for Christmas. That's on my ceiling, really close to my face I guess too, because I'm on the top bunk. [I wuv my Gollum]


This is my TV and my Titanic, and Water Matters posters. [Haha. Leonardo postcards are not mine! My sister's taking them when she moves because they're hers!]

[EDIT:] Who effing loves the banner I made myself? (refer to my signature) I made it with my very own brushes! *pokes* I love it!
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Wednesday, August 10, 2005

*snickers* ...You wanna know something cool? I am asian. Hehe. Sorry Chibi babe. Couldn't resist teasing you a bit. X.x *huggles*

Heh. Well, I found that this person who I talk to on MSN was something I know! ... Sounds retarded, yeah? Well, I really do know everyone on my list, but this one person who I've been talking to just escapes me.

I didn't wanna look like a frickin' retard and be all like, "Erm... so... yeah... do I know you?" hahaha.
Well, anywho, at least I know I added them... for some odd reason. But I found out today! Muaha.
How cool am I? Tres cool indeedy.

Heh. My wallpaper is giving me problems. So if you come by and the site is tacky, yesh. TACKY. With like repeating flower patterns and whatnot. It's not going to be permanent. Just so I know some links work and all. ^^

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Tuesday, August 9, 2005

Hellooo my dear loves.
My cheeks have been permanently damaged. I've never blushed so much in one day. ^^ You guys are horrid. XD I don't take well to compliments. But they're very welcome anywho. *grins*

Wellio, my mom's been better I guess... From her looming shadow over our heads. But even though all she's put us through... This feels so wrong.

She's become so meek. I think she's accepted the fact that my sister will move out, but I think she thinks that my sister is moving out because of her. Goddess, I think disowning my sister was just a defense thingy. I mean, when my mom found out she was shocked, so she went on the defensive.

But, now she's so, quiet, so timid. I hate it. It's not her. If she starts sobbing on my shoulder, I won't be able to do anything because I wasn't raised for emotional outbursts... technically, that's her fault too.

But, yeah. I hope she gets back to normal soon. =S

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This was me being weird, taking self shots.


This was a picture of our shadows, from the bench... I'm on the right.


This was another candid, after I stopped speaking. ^^


This is my cousin. *sigh*





Peek-a-boo?


I was... explaining something. X.x


Looks like I'm stretching eh? Yeah... It's a continuation of the last photo. Still explaining and stuff. Are you scared yet?




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Monday, August 8, 2005

Oomph. *huggles everyone* You guys are so awesome! I lurve each and every one of you *grins*

Well, my summer's officially gotten boring-er since my uber cool cousin is leaving today at 7. What am I going to do for the rest of my days? Phooey. I dunno.
I'll probably be a retard and go help out at school with student council to get the stuff ready for the new grade 7's this year. X.x Yesh... I know. Why would I even consider going to school early, when no one else but teachers and volunteers will be there?

I have no heck of a clue love.

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I finally got my sister's hair pics up, and here they are. The last one isn't a hair pic though, it's pretty much just me and her in our room. ^^

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Sunday, August 7, 2005

I went to Chinatown and stuff yesterday, to take pictures with my cousin since she's leaving in one day.

I'm coming to terms with the... disown-ment. At the very least I get to stay here, with a roof over my head and food to eat.

BTW. My sister's birthday is today, the older one. I'll get pictures of her hair up soon. ;)

Well, here are the promised pictures. [My cousin is in the pink, I'm the scrawny one in white or black.]

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Saturday, August 6, 2005

So. For the reveal of what had me in tears two nights ago.


My mother. My dearest mother. Disowned my sister [23 yrs.] and myself. But at the moment, she's giving me a second chance.
Yes yes. Blah blah. Why did she do it? Because we didn't live up to her standards. Because we were selfish. Because we were her daughters, who ought to live up to her rules and expectations.

My sister was going to move out. She told my mom. My mom blew up even more. After she's gone, I won't be able to see her anymore. She's not considered family anymore either. Boo hoo.

The only sad thing I might mull over about now is that I can't see my older sister anymore. I was panicking the other night. Where would I go? Who would I live with? What would I live off of? I'm only a child for goddess' sake!

My older sister, without support from my mother has her father.

My younger sister without support from my mom [which it will never come to] has support from her dad.

I, without support from my mother. Have nothing. [No. Just because I'm underaged will not prevent her from anything. If you think I'm too old to get.. nevermind.]

So thus. I panicked. I cried. I cursed. I swore. I hid. I sunk into a low.

Well. I'll just dismiss that part of my life right now since I can't deal with it.

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My sister went and got her hair colored, a magenta too. It looks cool.
Today I went out with my cousin, she's leaving on monday. So we took bunches of pictures. The pictures will be up tomorrow. Eight each day, so that it gives you guys the chance to see all of them.

Anywho. A hug and kiss to everyone who commented on Friday.

BTW: I'll be going about my regular rounds to updated sites tomorrow.
Sorry for the half-hearted comments on Friday. I'll make up for it.

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Friday, August 5, 2005

I can't see properly. I've never cried so much in my life before last night.

If love was so strong, it should have saved us, all this.

When I finally thought I couldn't cry again last night. I did. In a matter of moments everything's been torn away from me. From my sister. It's unfair. It's just not fair.

It sort of hurts. Hurts like a bitch and it won't go away.

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Thursday, August 4, 2005

Sha-hizzle!
Meh.
It's Sam's birthday today, and I forgot! For the first time in SIX YEARS, I forgot! I am such a bitch. I left a note on her cell, but I feel awful. Mainly because I didn't get her anything and I have no money. Partly because I slept through most of her birthday.

Gah!
Meh.
I need to shop. Shopping makes me feel better, even if I only come back with one thing. Moreso if I come back with lots of stuff though. But I have no money.
Meh.
Ooh, ooh, my thumb isn't broken! Woop! I ripped/tore/snapped/stretched the ligaments/tendons in my hand and cannot move my thumb. I think that's worse, but hey, it's not broken!

Time to go. Don't forget the forum...
Ten thousand spoons people, ten thousand spoons.

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[EDIT:] Meh. I know I was sort of... down in the dumps yesterday, you all helped bunches, I think I got over my 'stresses' and am at peace once more... but you never know.

My moods are psychotic in that way... I'm afraid I'm a bit temperamental. ^^'

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Wednesday, August 3, 2005

Ow.
I have a big bastard of a headache, and I have had a really awkward day today. Beyond awkward.

It's just been really hard. I want to tell all my friends, I really do, but I can't. I just can't bring myself to do it. I've been really emotional too, just wanting to cry over everything. It's actually rather pathetic.

My sister left her dirty clothes in the living room, and I got in a stress and wanted to cry.

My trainer cut up the back of my foot again and I wanted to find a plaster to put on it, but my sister had cut off the sticky so it was completely useless. And she'd put it back in the box.

I got in a stress and wanted to cry.

I couldn't find the house phone to call my mum and ask her to pick up some more plasters, even when I looked up and down the house, so I got in a stress and wanted to cry.
I couldn't find any worthwhile alcohol in the house to drown myself in.

Not even a lowly lager in the fridge in the garage. So...
I got in a stress and wanted to cry.

Then I proceeded to find a masonry nail and a hammer and smack the bastard nail into the wall, very noisily and angrily.

Then I hung my calendar up and it was all good. But I was sad that the hammering was over and done with, so I got in a stress and wanted to cry.

My mum made omelette for dinner. I hate ommelete. So I got in a stress and wanted to cry.

My aunt then made us listen to Joss fucking Stone through dinner, even though I put on my fabulous Seether CD to make it more interesting. She made me put Joss Stone back on.

So I got in a stress and wanted to cry.

I threw up about half of her omellete. So I got in a stress and wanted to cry.
I have a big bastard headache.
I'm in a stress.
I want to cry.

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Monday, August 1, 2005

My site is just itching for a new layout... *twitch* Muaha. Look who's back in happy working order! Meeeeeh!
Or maybe just being annoying, but anywho, thank you for all the comments yesterday, they were much appreciated ^^

I'm going out today as well, so I'll do what sites I can. U_U
We're going hunting for souvenirs... X_x This is really just going to not go my way today.

Happy First of August! Happy birthday to all August Birthday-celebrants too. My older sister is one of them! XD I've had a request to buy her an agenda. I'm going to be broke after this. *sigh* She's really picky about her things. Which sucks for me. *another long sigh*

So, I'm off to read a quick fanfic, before I can tell my mom I'm leaving to go out today... T_T I always get nervous when trying to tell her. =S


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