Friday, May 5, 2006

EXCUSE me...

Time: 5:30 PM Song: Cage By: Dir En Grey Mood: Venting, sorry for bad language. shibire wo kirashiteru boku wa mado no chi wo hiki sado no kimi wo matsu dekireba doku no baiser de hitan yue ni bitoku miezu kimi wa saigo no mama de kioku umete kizukarenu you ni saigo no mama tokei wa hidarimawari demo okashita tsumi wa kaereru saisho de saigo no rikaisha yakitsukete iyagaru boku wo mite tsuyoku soshite yasashiku muriyari no tetsudan keshite kimi ni wa ienai kawa no kishimu oto ga itai kizu wo fukamete yukou shittobukai kimi wa itsudemo reiketsu na no? osanai koro no gyakutai ga ne ima demo wasurezu ni itai naze mama wa inai no oshiete yo itsu ka wa yasashisa ni kizuite haha naru "yurikago" no naka de hitsuu yue ni mae ga miezu boku no saigo no mama de semete kimi ni kizukarenu you ni saisho no mama tokei wa hidarimawari demo okashita tsumi wa kaereru saisho de saigo no rikaisha kowashita boku ni wa yasashisugita no ka naa? mukashi no torauma wo utsushi saigo no kimi made kowashita boku wa sado? English impatient the masochist's blood runs in my veins I wait for you, the sadist if I can do it with a poisonous kiss because of sorrow I cannot see virtue you are the last mother the memory buried so that you won't realise the first mother even though the clock turns backwards the sin I've committed can't be changed the first and last person who understood me is burned into my memory see me resisting strongly and then kindly forcing a decision I can never tell you the creaking sound of leather hurts me let's make the wound even deeper you, deeply jealous are you always so cold-hearted? even now I don't want to forget the abuse of my childhood why don't I have a mother? tell me... someday I'll realise kindness inside the mother-like "cradle"... because of anguish I cannot see before me my last mother at least, so that you won't realise the first mother even though the clock turns backwards the sin I've committed can't be changed the first and last person who understood me is destroyed were you too kind to me? the reflection of a trauma from long ago I destroyed you, the last one am I a sadist? -------- First of all, I'd like to apologize to all of my IRL friends for actually trying to be a good friend. It seems as if I've made an asshole out of myself just for worrying about everyone. It's just my belief that when you are dating someone... you don't go off and MAKE OUT with another person! I'm sorry for saying all of this, but I quickly lose respect for people that seem incapable of making up their minds. Don't dare try to label me as a hypocrit... yes, I make out with people to pose for pictures or have a good time. I did a few times when I was with Ian, but I certainly don't savor it and get all happy about the kiss either! I shrug it off, say it was fun and then go off on my merry little way. -------- Our group is almost very famous for having our own little drama spots and what-not, but not between the slect few of us that have never fought unless under great pressure; I don't want to start now. Hearing about all of the stuff with the "cheating" on another person just irked me to know end. I didn't know if one person would be REALLY hurt by the event! Hell, I didn't even fucking know if things were going to get worse. Bit I didn't want them to get worse because I don't want any fucking drama in this group! Yes, I worry for all of you on a daily basis and yes, I try to help as much as possible... but when shit like this happens... it greatly upsets me because I thought some people were above all of that! So I got a little pissed and on top of that... I had a lot on my mind. Excuse the fuck out of me. From now on, I'm keeping my mouth shut until someone expresses the need for some advice. -------- I guess my morals are so different from everyone else's or something. Sensei always told me to stand up for I believe in and make something out of it. "It's not a battle unless begun." he used to preach to me all the time. I try to stand up for my morals, but when people are ganging up on me and calling everyone about it... it all just defeats the damn purpose. -------- On top of all of this shit... I come home from school and get THREATENED on MyO though PM! I know exactly who this person is and he's being an idiot just for thinking he can pass himself off with this: "hi you have been located two more members are left to find, i thatthis would be harder to do so mabye i dint have to charge so much ohh well a deals a deal... seth has also been found now i just need to find a&j it shouldnt be to hard by myself though... i am getting paid enough though.. you know you could have thought of more difficult names. oh and a hint of who i am is a song called Mitternacht by Nomine target j should remmember, and mabye you will find my employer but i doubt it ps... this place suck and yall need to get a life pss... i wish my grass was emo so it could cut its self...LOl get u next time target b" (This was sent to me by the username nipple death") Excuse me "Fluffy", but you suck ass and you suck especially with getting away with shit. You shoul give up already because I've won this battle and empty threats will get you nowhere but banned from this community forever. And as targets A and J... you can bend down between your knees and shove your head straight up the thing you call your ass and go rot in a ditch... because no one GIVES A SHIT! -------- *Clears throat.* I'm so sorry for my use of strong language. I've been trying to cut down on how much I've been cussing as of late, but everything just came down on me. .-. Seth: *Hugs Kawaii and pats her.* Bye for now... -Kawaii Seth<3

Comments (10)