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Saturday, December 24, 2005

First Free write about Brave
Cia-chan, you might have been wondering what all my free writes have been about lately. Well, now you know and I'll show you them. It's about time I tell someone. Don't feel bad that I didn't tell you. I have my reasons. Don't blame yourself for not figuring it out sooner. I didn't want anyone to know, okay? Anyway, here is my first entry about her. I apologize for gramatical errors etc.

My first “Monday Monologue” on the subject of Brave:

This weekend was horrific. The one person I wanted to save so desperately...I was the cause of her death…she was suffering…could she have fended for herself?...was it better to let her live in all that suffering? Or was euthanasia a humane way to go? What right did I have to kill her? I’m not God! I have no right to take life. She was so innocent…everyone’s favorite…the sweetest angel placed in my heart. August 10 2005-November 26, 2005. How could I? How can I say that I did the right thing? I killed! Not just anyone but the one I tried so hard to save. I hurt others as well. How could I? I brought an already suffering family, looking for hope, back into the despair of another loss; a loss that they chose, a loss unavoidable. Would letting her live be selfish, to ask her to endure more pain? She was out of the cold, yes, but the cancer would take over. There was no hope, right? She couldn’t be saved, right? There was nothing I could do but sign my name for her death, silent death. Her innocent, loving blood upon my hands! My vile, corrupted hands…let her death not be in vain! Show the mourning, the guilt, the pain, the shame, SHOW IT! I deserve her pain. “Brave”, I don’t deserve your forgiveness, nor anyone’s. I am a demon, a sore, informality on the face of an already destroyed race. Take me in her place, spare her, the kitten who smiled amidst her pain, the kitten they loved.

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Monday, December 19, 2005

I'm so sorry but I won't be able to check other people's sites for the next two days...band concert and work...booo!...so I'm really sorry and I'll get back to you all asap!...Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
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Sunday, December 18, 2005

   Christmas Greetings!
Thank you HardLuckWoman for sending this! I hope you feel better soon!
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And Thank you Queen of Anime so much for this adorable card!
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Yesterday, just to update, once again I had to open the pool at 5:45...quite simply...I didn't like it...but the good thing was that no one showed up for an hour...I worked the rest of the day at my dad's store...and then returned to what I thought was lifeguarding a kayak *sp* class but ended up a class for lifeguards of how to rescue those kayaking...it was really fun because even though I was thouroughly freaked out about the wet exit *because of past experiences* it wasn't that bad...and then the "students" played the "teachers" in a kayak basketball game...it was intense...A shout out to all of you who comment...they mean a lot to me! And thank you to HardLuckWoman and Queen of Anime for the Christmas gifts/cards! I really appreciate the thought plus they're phenomenal! Wale...
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Friday, December 16, 2005

I wanted to see what this looked like...Cia was kind enough to make this:

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you can check the time...how long did it take me...yep done at 1:50 am...WHOO HOO...*sorry for my annoying excitement*...I'm finished with 1,194 words! I made it...and now...i....can....zzzzzzzz....
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Sorry just read got up to date...THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR COMMENTS! They may seem trivial but they do mean a lot to me!...Thank you for all of your advice and support...I'm sure the paper will be passable i just wish it was my standard of passable...if that's a word...yeah, I'm not to fluent in any language now that I think about it...hmmmm....
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I wish more than ever to take a nap...but i know if I go to bed now I'll never wake up enough to finish this paper...yes it's the same one from before but now I think I'm acctually getting somewhere...before it was a bunch of b.s. to get me by...I'd say I'm half way there by now...well...by now I don't care much about the first half...it's too late for it...WHAHAHA!...I just don't want this paper to turn out like my last one...*remembering grade O_O;;;;* yes, repetition would be bad...oh well...wish me luck...
P.S. Please keep Cia-chan and HardLuckWoman in your prayers (or atleast your thoughts, depending)
Gracias ALL! WALE

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Wednesday, December 14, 2005

   Phantom, anime form
You've seen the marquee of my kitty, Phantom...since George got a human form I thought it was only fair if phantom did also...so here it is:
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   Life because of "Death of a Salesman"
I love the play but this english paper has got to stop...I have only finished the intro and the outline...I can't take it anymore...I can't think straight...sleep deprived...probably coming down with something...lonely...and I JUST PLAIN DON"T WANT TO DO IT!!! AAAAAAARRRGGGGGGGGG!!!!.......well...back to work....
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