Monday, June 11, 2007

SUMMER!!!!!!
OMG! I'm so very very bored..and sunburnt...T^T...i had time to re-write this..i wrote it a long time ago for and english writing contest but, never turned it in....ah, well...

The Red Rose
Another day had gone by and she still hadn’t told him how she felt about him. She had come so close this time. They had sat for hours on the bus, laughing; joking. When he had finally fallen asleep, she wondered to herself, if she just leaned in, and kissed him, would he feel it? Instead she settled for just slightly brushing his cheek with the tip of her finger. He stirred in his sleep but, no reaction came from the sleeping loved one. Growing bolder, she traced the outside of his lips, feeling the heat of his breath warm against her skin. She took her hand back, scared someone might see what she was doing. It was dark on their part of the bus, but anyone could just happen to turn on the light, and then she would have a lot of explaining to do.
They were sharing her blanket, which seemed innocent enough, and she snuggled a little closer, so that their bodies were barely touching. With her free hand, she reached up and fingered the ring she wore that bore his name. It was a part of him she always kept with her.
Earlier in their conversations, he had begun to tell her about his girlfriend, and she had nearly cried. Turning away, she stared out the window. After awhile, he noticed her unusual quietness and wrote her a note, asking her what was wrong, even though he could’ve just said it. She replied that nothing was wrong, but a part of her was dying to scream, “Can’t you see? I’m in love with you!” But he would never be able to hear the whispers of her heart. And she would never tell him because her insecurity was bigger than her confidence. She knew she would never have a chance, and her heart broke every time he smiled at her because they would always be “just friends”. Would she ever gather the courage to look him in the eyes and tell him everything? Probably not but, for some reason, she would never let herself give up hope. Until now. She wrapped the blanket they had shared around her. His scent was still on it and she smiled. But it instantly disappeared when she remembered he would be leaving for a little while to go see the girlfriend he had left behind. Her eyes teared up and she threw the blanket from her, shivering in the cold. She walked to her desk and sat down to write.
“To whoever finds this first-
You are wondering why I did what I did, But I feel my reasons are just. If you ever knew how badly I hurt inside, seeing his face and knowing he would never return the way I feel about him, you would’ve wanted a way to stop the pain too. Being able to see his smile and not being able to stop yourself from wondering what it would fell like to have him wrap his arms around you and never let go. To have him tell you everything will be alright and say those three words; those three little but powerful words. How could I ever live knowing that the love of my life had already found his? For me, it was just too much to bear. If the one I love is reading this, please know that this is the only way I could bring myself to tell you. I love you. And I’m sorry for what I may have done to you.”

He laid the well worn letter down in his lap, tears streaming down his face. How could he have been so blind? Her parents sat in front of him, patiently waiting for him to finish reading. “I’m sorry,” was all he could say to them. How could he ever say anything else? He hadn’t known about the letter until after the funeral, when her dad had taken him aside and asked him to come to their house later. He had agreed, but now he was sorry he had come. He left, unable to look them in the eyes, because his guilt would overwhelm him. He drove around for a little while before he decided what he had to do. On his way, he stopped at a flower shop and bought a single rose. The lady at the counter smiled and winked at him, thinking of the wrong reasons, he guessed. He drove out to the cemetery and parked in the street, a little ways away from her grave. He walked until he stood in front of the statue of a beautiful, weeping angel. The statue fitted her perfectly, he thought to himself. He laid the rose at the angel’s feet and whispered, “I love you too.”

Yup..so very bored....
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Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Last post for the summer.....
Yup...this will probably be my last post...so sad, i know...my dad has declared that once summer starts, all computers in the household shall be turned off...*sniffs*..i will miss you guys but, summer isn't that long this year so, i'll be back on again soon...i hope you guys have a great summer!!

Well, last night i went to see Pirates of the Carribean 3...it was great..not as good as the first or second but, yeah, it was good...i'm glad they brought Captain Jack Sparrow back to life..the movie would suck without him...^^..(for me at least...)Yuppers..oh, and my best friend's birthday party is Thursday....say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Tai, everyone!! Last day of school is tommorrow...wow..i think i'm actually gonna miss school....but my summer will be busy...really busy..i'll hardly be home at all..more so if i get a job..i'll be in Florida on my birthday...again...^^..not that i mind much..Well, later!!
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Thursday, May 24, 2007

~currently listening to, "Jillian" by Within Temptation~

Ya know, i never really realized how much power i have in my house until yesterday..it was kinda weird...
Being Supreme Dictator of your household: Inability to go balistic
Laying down rules that no-one disobeys: Strength to back it up
Seeing the look of pain on your enemy's face: Priceless...

Ater church i spent the rest of the night trying to cheer Eva up...of course it worked but, it left me exhausted..it hurts to make someone else happy when i'm not too happy myself((and boy is a pain in the rear-end..--__--**..))..she later asked me how i was able to cheer her up, even when she's heard the worst news possible...i didn't have an answer for her...it's natural for me...i try to be there for them, even if it kills me...if i don't, who will? I was mad at Eva the other day, and refused to talk to her. This morning she said, "It killed me when you wouldn't talk to me.." I'm starting to see that they respect me not because they fear me but, because they also need me. It's nice to know that that is not the only reason why they obey me, and look up to me for strength. Yeah, i admit..i can be pretty scary when you get on my bad side...that's how i've grown up to be. It's what my real father bred me for, and my Step-father helped to achieve. But i try really hard to hide that part of myself...and i'm not talking about me be pissed off..i'm talking about the me going berserk and ripping people apart..being angry is human..berserker is not...i hope that the people i care about do not ever have to see that part of me..if they do, i hope they are not on the opposing side..

Ehh..it's storming today...and i get to go to Atomic Pop today!! I'm so excited..but i can't decide between this month's Shojo Beat or the secong Loveless manga..ahh...deciscions, deciscions...^^

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Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Behind every untrusting girl.....
there's a boy who taught her to be that way...i heard that for the first time today..i kinda like that saying..i also like the one that says, "I want to see the guilt in your eyes and make it worse than it already is.."

Hmm..i don't really have anything to say today..no news is good news, i guess..i read the first manga of Loveless today...Ritsuka is so cute..^^
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Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Why is it that....
It hurts so bad when i cry?
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This song....makes me cry.....
Frozen by Within Temptation...

Within Temptation - Frozen
Uploaded by Asagi76

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Jillian by Within Temptation(it's at the end of that second Black Cat video..)
I've been dreaming for so long,
To find a meaning
To understand.
The secret of life,
Why am I here
To try again?

Will I always,
Will you always
See the truth
When it stares you in the face?
Will I ever
Will I never free myself
By breaking these chains?


I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.
I'd turn it back, it's my fault.
Your destiny is forlorn,
Have to live till it's undone.
I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.
I'd turn it back
And then at last
I'll be on my way.

I've been living for so long,
Many seasons have passed me by.
I've seen kingdoms through ages
Rise and fall,
I've seen it all.

I've seen the horror,
I've seen the wonders
Happening just in front of my eyes.
Will I ever
Will I never free myself by making it right?

I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.
I'd turn it back, it's my fault.
Your destiny is forlorn,
Have to live till it's undone.
I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.
I'd turn it back
And then at last
I'll be on my way.

((They're a Dutch band..you can tell by the girl's accent..i like this song alot..reminds me of me....^^;...)

FF7AC - Within Temptation
Uploaded by senbonzakura

((Coolest FF video ever!!!)



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Rain.......
It's gonna rain today...and i am happy for that at least..i am currently listening to the full version to the opening song to Black Cat..i really like it and the anime is great...*smiles*..i also found this other Black Cat video that has Enya singing in the beginning and then it switches to someone else...both songs are really pretty..i would put the the first episode of Black Cat on here but, it would clog up my page, and it's in Japanese with French sub-titles..i can understand most of the French but i don't think i'd be willing to translate, sorry...but i know what they are saying anyways cause i've seen the first episode..it's really funny...i like Sven and his omni-growling stomach...^-^..

Here is the opening song:

Black Cat
Uploaded by Ryuka

Here is the Enya-one:

Black Cat - Within Temptation/Enya
Uploaded by Fanelia

Enjoy!!!
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Monday, May 21, 2007

Hmmm..guys have some stupid pick up lines...
If a guy walked up to you, put his arm around you, and said, "You know what? I love being single.." What would you think?......My point exactly...
HOLD UP! WAIT A MINUTE! PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN IT!!(i'm officially in love with that song..)
OMG!! This is one of my favorite fan flash videos...if you haven't seen them, you should see the others...^-^..

Ultimate Naruto Fan Flash 3
Uploaded by sakura22

Ultimate Naruto Fan Flash 5
Uploaded by sakura22

Ultimate Naruto Fan Flash 4
Uploaded by sasuke2110

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Ohhhhhh, yessss....
I'M GONNA START PLAYING THE VIOLIN!!!...i'm so excited....oh..and i really like this song..it first came out when i ws still living with my real dad...he never really let me listen to because it reminded him of my mom...but i would sneak around and listen to it when he was gone...^^...

Evanescence feat Seether- Broken
Uploaded by elodie64

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