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Friday, May 18, 2007


woot! today is the last day of school, and i'm so glad that it is...but i'm gonna miss all my fellow otakus ToT wah...and speaking of school, that happens to be where i'm typing from. my classmates are in the middle of their world geography exam, and i exempted, so i'm bored out of meh miiiiiiind........x.x and i forgot my manga and my mp3 player. *sigh* boredom, boredom, boredom....

as soon as everyone gets done, we're gonna go back to watching "The Devil Wears Prada". it's about these women who work at a fashion agency and such...eh, gotta go. see yalls :3 *hugs*




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Wednesday, May 9, 2007


i'm sorry meh fellow otaku, i didn't mean to be quiet for so long D: i'm doin alright. definitely could be better, but i could be worse...just went through a terrible break up, so dealin with all that. but thankfully, it's almost the end of the school year, so i'm glad about that. *nods* please check out all my new wallpapers! ^O^ *hugs to all* dunno if anyone ever comes around anymore D:




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Tuesday, April 17, 2007


D: holy crap yall! >.< i haven't updated in a while ;w; i'm really really sorry. i'll make my post extra long to apologize :P

Okie dokie then, somethings that happened to me over my...absence (good things are in bold, bad things are italicized):

Went on vacation to Tampa, FL
Got tons of manga
Had two emotional breakdowns
Went to see my granny
my boyfriend tried to commit suicide
Mom's gravestone marker came in (and it's gorgeous!)


So yeah....there's some things i did :3 and yall should see my manga collection now! let me see...i have absolute boyfriend 1, basara 1-7 & 13-19, Beyblade 1-11, Chobits 1-3, DNAngel 1, FMA 1-2 & 6-12, Fruits Basket 1-3 & 7-16, Love Hina 7-8, and Negima! 5-6. ^^ feel free to borrow any of my manga xD that's what most of my friends at school do...sometimes my manga go missing for ages, and then i go around collecting them X.x and! i found out that Hot Topic has tried selling more anime shirts in there stores! *gasp* i went to the one in valdosta, ga, and it turns out that they actually had a fruits basket and FMA military shirt. i wanted to get both but i had already bought several manga TT__TT;;; so yeeeeah...oh gosh D: i gotta go ready for school and such. thanks for reading! this is the Hyper Alchemist, out! :3




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Sunday, March 18, 2007


Hullo, hullo, hullo! Sorry it's been a while ^^; i wanted to wait until i got back from the MomoCon Anime Convention, so i could show yall all the pitchers :3 It's mostly cosplay, but i also took piccies of all that i got ^O^ There was SOOOO much FMA, Naruto, Bleach, and all that other stuff there! *gasp* But there was one thing....there wasn't an Edward Elric cosplay TT__TT Next time i go, i'm gonna make one for him. *nods* So here's what all we got! =D

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this dude actually gave me a hug after i took his piccie! ^O^ It made me happy.

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so that's all the cosplay that i saw :3 there was also someone who was on stilts, and looks kinda one of the dudes from bleach, but i couldn't tell what he was dressed as. And here's all the merchandise i got ^O^

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FMA Poster: $15

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FMA Wallet: $6

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FMA/Negima DVD's: $90

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FMA, Fruits Basket, & Basara Manga: $40

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Ed Elric & Kyo Sohma Plushies: $34

Going with friends and family and seeing all the awesome cosplay and anime stuff: priceless.

So i hope you liked seeing all that stuff =) if any of yall were at the convention, let me know!! and tell me which person/character you cosplayed as TT-TT *nods*

oh, also, afterwards we went to hot topic and this Fandom Store that had AAAALLL this anime stuff that was SOOO awesome ;w; but dad said to save our money for our spring break trip to Miami. yup yup :3 i'll get some awesome stuff then. thank yall for reading <3




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Monday, March 5, 2007


The Tell-Tale Heart
Edgar Allan Poe


TRUE!--NERVOUS--very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am! but why will you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses--not destroyed--not dulled them. Above all was the sense of hearing acute. I heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many things in hell. How, then, am I mad? Hearken! and observe how healthily--how calmly I can tell you the whole story.

It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain; but once conceived, it haunted me day and night. Object there was none. Passion there was none. I loved the old man. He had never wronged me. He had never given me insult. For his gold I had no desire. I think it was his eye! yes, it was this! He had the eye of a vulture--a pale blue eye, with a film over it. Whenever it fell upon me, my blood ran cold; and so by degrees--very gradually--I made up my mind to take the life of the old man, and thus rid myself of the eye forever.

Now this is the point. You fancy me mad. Madmen know nothing. But you should have seen me. You should have seen how wisely I proceeded--with what caution--with what foresight--with what dissimulation I went to work!

I was never kinder to the old man than during the whole week before I killed him. And every night, about midnight, I turned the latch of his door and opened it--oh, so gently! And then, when I had made an opening sufficient for my head, I put in a dark lantern, all closed, closed, so that no light shone out, and then I thrust in my head. Oh, you would have laughed to see how cunningly I thrust it in! I moved it slowly--very, very slowly, so that I might not disturb the old man's sleep. It took me an hour toplace my whole head within the opening so far that I could see him as he lay upon his bed. Ha!--would a madman have been so wise as this? And then, when my head was well in the room, I undid the lantern cautiously--oh, so cautiously--cautiously (for the hinges creaked)--and I undid it just so much that a single thin ray fell upon the vulture eye. And this I did for seven long nights--every night just at midnight--but I found the eye always closed; and so it was impossible to do the work; for it was not the old man who vexed me, but his Evil Eye. And every morning, when the day broke, I went boldly into the chamber, and spoke courageously to him, calling him by name in a hearty tone, and inquiring how he had passed the night. So you see he would have been a very profound old man, indeed, to suspect that every night, just at twelve, I looked in upon him while he slept.

Upon the eighth night I was more than usually cautious in opening the door. A watch's minute hand moves more quickly than did mine. Never before that night had I felt the extent of my own powers--of my sagacity. I could scarcely contain my feelings of triumph. To think that there I was, opening the door, little by little, and he not even to dream of my secret deeds or thoughts. I fairly chuckled at the idea; and perhaps he heard me; for he moved on the bed suddenly, as if startled.

Now you may think that I drew back--but no. His room was as black as pitch with the thick darkness (for the shutters were close fastened, through fear of robbers), and so I knew that he could not see the opening of the door, and I kept pushing it on steadily, steadily.

I had my head in, and was about to open the lantern, when my thumb slipped upon the tin fastening, and the old man sprang up in the bed, crying out--"Who's there?"

I kept quite still and said nothing. For a whole hour I did not move a muscle, and in the meantime I did not hear him lie down. He was still sitting up in the bed listening;--just as I have done, night after night, hearkening to the death watches in the wall.

Presently I heard a slight groan, and I knew it was the groan of mortal terror. It was not a groan of pain or of grief--oh no!--it was the low stifled sound that arises from the bottom of the soul when overcharged with awe. I knew the sound well. Many a night, just at midnight, when all the world slept, it has welled up from my own bosom, deepening, with its dreadful echo, the terrors that distracted me. I say I knew it well. I knew what the old man felt, and pitied him, although I chuckled at heart. I knew that he had been lying awake ever since the first slight noise, when he had turned in the bed. His fears had been ever since growing upon him. He had been trying to fancy them causeless, but could not. He had been saying to himself--"It is nothing but the wind in the chimney--it is only a mouse crossing the floor," or "it is merely a cricket which has made a single chirp." Yes, he has been trying to comfort himself with these suppositions; but he had found all in vain. All in vain; because Death, in approaching him, had stalked with his black shadow before him, and enveloped the victim. And it was the mournful influence of the unperceived shadow that caused him to feel--although he neither saw nor heard--to feel the presence of my head within the room.

When I had waited a long time, very patiently, without hearing him lie down, I resolved to open a little--a very, very little crevice in the lantern. So I opened it--you cannot imagine how stealthily, stealthily--until, at length, a single dim ray, like the thread of the spider, shot from out the crevice and fell full upon the vulture eye.

It was open--wide, wide open--and I grew furious as I gazed upon it. I saw it with perfect distinctness--all a dull blue, with a hideous veil over it that chilled the very marrow in my bones; but

I could see nothing else of the old man's face or person: for I had directed the ray as if by instinct, precisely upon the damned spot.

And now have I not told you that what you mistake for madness is but over-acuteness of the senses?--now, I say, there came to my ears a low, dull, quick sound, such as a watch makes when enveloped in cotton. I knew that sound well too. It was the beating of the old man's heart. It increased my fury, as the beating of a drum stimulates the soldier into courage.

But even yet I refrained and kept still. I scarcely breathed. I held the lantern motionless. I tried how steadily I could maintain the ray upon the eye. Meantime the hellish tattoo of the heart increased. It grew quicker and quicker, and louder and louder every instant. The old man's terror must have been extreme! It grew louder, I say, louder every moment!--do you mark me well? I have told you that I am nervous: so I am. And now at the dead hour of the night, amid the dreadful silence of that old house, so strange a noise as this excited me to uncontrollable terror. Yet, for some minutes longer I refrained and stood still. But the beating grew louder, louder! I thought the heart must burst. And now a new anxiety seized me--the sound would be heard by a neighbor! The old man's hour had come! With a loud yell, I threw open the lantern and leaped into the room. He shrieked once--once only. In an instant I dragged him to the floor, and pulled the heavy bed over him. I then smiled gaily, to find the deed so far done. But, for many minutes, the heart beat on with a muffled sound. This, however, did not vex me; it would not be heard through the wall. At length it ceased. The old man was dead. I removed the bed and examined the corpse. Yes, he was stone, stone dead. I placed my hand upon the heart and held it there many minutes. There was no pulsation. He was stone dead. His eye would trouble me no more.

If still you think me mad, you will think so no longer when I describe the wise precautions I took for the concealment of the body. The night waned, and I worked hastily, but in silence. First of all I dismembered the corpse. I cut off the head and the arms and the legs.

I then took up three planks from the flooring of the chamber, and deposited all between the scantlings. I then replaced the boards so cleverly, so cunningly, that no human eye--not even his--could have detected any thing wrong. There was nothing to wash out--no stain of any kind--no blood-spot whatever. I had been too wary for that. A tub had caught all--ha! ha!

When I made an end of these labors, it was four o'clock--still dark as midnight. As the bell sounded the hour, there came a knocking at the street door. I went down to open it with a light heart--for what had I now to fear? There entered three men, who introduced themselves, with perfect suavity, as officers of the police. A shriek had been heard by a neighbor during the night: suspicion of foul play had been aroused; information had been lodged at the police office, and they (the officers) had been deputed to search the premises.

I smiled,--for what had I to fear? I bade the gentlemen welcome. The shriek, I said, was my own in a dream. The old man, I mentioned, was absent in the country. I took my visitors all over the house. I bade them search--search well. I led them, at length, to his chamber. I showed them his treasures, secure, undisturbed. In the enthusiasm of my confidence, I brought chairs into the room, and desired them here to rest from their fatigues, while I myself, in the wild audacity of my perfect triumph, placed my own seat upon the very spot beneath which reposed the corpse of the victim.

The officers were satisfied. My manner had convinced them. I was singularly at ease. They sat, and while I answered cheerily, they chatted of familiar things. But, ere long, I felt myself getting pale and wished them gone. My head ached, and I fancied a ringing in my ears: but still they sat and still chatted. The ringing became more distinct:--it continued and became more distinct: I talked more freely to get rid of the feeling: but it continued and gained definitiveness--until at length, I found that the noise was not within my ears.

No doubt I now grew very pale;--but I talked more fluently, and with a heightened voice. Yet the sound increased--and what could I do? It was a low, dull, quick sound--much such a sound as a watch makes when enveloped in cotton. I gasped for breath--and yet the officers heard it not. I talked more quickly--more vehemently; but the noise steadily increased. I arose and argued about trifles, in a high key and with violent gesticulations, but the noise steadily increased. Why would they not be gone? I paced the floor to and fro with heavy strides, as if excited to fury by the observation of the men--but the noise steadily increased. Oh God! what could I do? I foamed--I raved--I swore. I swung the chair upon which I had been sitting, and grated it upon the boards, but the noise arose over all and continually increased. It grew louder--louder--louder! And still the men chatted pleasantly, and smiled. Was it possible they heard not? Almighty God!--no, no! They heard!--they suspected!--they knew!--they were making a mockery of my horror!--this I thought, and this I think. But any thing was better than this agony! Any thing was more tolerable than this derision! I could bear those hypocritical smiles no longer! I felt that I must scream or die!--and now--again!--hark! louder! louder! louder!--

"Villains!" I shrieked, "dissemble no more! I admit the deed!--tear up the planks!--here, here!--it is the beating of his hideous heart!"




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Wednesday, February 21, 2007


morning all! =D hope yall like my new theme ^_____^ edwardelricthe2nd made it for me. unfortunately, i don't have enough time to get you a link, but i bet yall know where to go. n__n it's based on the song "October" by Evanescence. here you are:

I can't run anymore,

I fall before you.
Here I am.
I have nothing left.
Though I've tried to forget,
You're all that I am.
Take me home,
I'm through fighting it.
Broken, Lifeless,
I give up.
You're my only strength.
Without you,
I can't go on,
Anymore, Ever again

*My only hope (All the times I've tried)
My only peace (To walk away from you)
My only joy, My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power, My only life,
(And love is where I am) My only love.

I can't run anymore.
I give myself to you,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
In all my bitterness,
I ignored all that's real and true.
All I need is you.
When night falls on me,
I'll not close my eyes.
I'm too alive,
And you're too strong.
I can't lie anymore,
I fall down before you.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

*

Constantly ignoring the pain consuming me.
But this time it's cut too deep.
I'll never stray again.

if you have even the slightest idea of what's been going on in my life, you'll know exactly why i like this song. *nods*

also! i got me a fullmetal alchemist shirt at hot topic! YAY! it's really kick ass <3 i'll post a picture of it next time i post, how's that? n__n and thank you for all who come! you know i enjoy yall's company!




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Saturday, February 17, 2007


who here thinks that the whole AnimeFF scandal was the worst thing they could have done to us? *raises her hand* i comment on as many poss as i can on the ones that adam posts about it, and as far as i'm concerned, Jeff Bornecamp needs his ass in jail/prison the minute he's caught. *nods* not sure if anyone else cares, but i do D: and i'm sorry i haven't posted. u.u;; i gets all sidetracked ._. *hugs* you guys! Ed-man's back! ^O^ yall should go comment on him :3 he got a new gf and everything! hopefully that's a good sign n___n




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Wednesday, February 7, 2007


I apologize for those of you who wanted to go see my journal X.x I had forgotten it was set for friends only. u.u now it is completely accessible to anyone who wants to read it. ^^ If you still can't go to the link, PM me on otaku and i'll send you a copy of it. If your not registered with gaia and you wanna comment about it, just PM me or comment in here about it. *hugs* to all who did go see it the first time and/or left a comment in here. =) it really made me feel good.

My Journal




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Sunday, February 4, 2007


heyo, myo-ans. *bows*

you can tell i'm tramautized when i actually bow...heheh. anyway, i guess i'm doing better...not as good as i want but better than oh say...last week. definitely crying less. i'm sorry though to those who really wanna hear from me. and if you wanna know any details on me/my mom/how she died, just go to my journal on gaia.

My Journal

to those of you who are members of gaiaonline.com, please comment. tell me what you think. i'd really appreciate it. if anyone wants to talk to me on msn or yahoo messenger:

YIM: matts_georgia_squirrel
MSN: kaiz_fan_baby@hotmail.com

but please don't flame me TT_TT i really wouldn't appreciate it.




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Tuesday, January 23, 2007


i won't be posting this week. or next. or maybe the week after that. my mom died last night. please send prayers and love. i'm sorry i don't post more often...i wish this one was under better circumstances.




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