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Thursday, March 27, 2008

Story of my Life

I know it's been a while again, but something made me come today. And I saw that one of my old friends from when I first joined the O (04 or 05) had come back for a little while. She made a very good point in her post, about growing up and changing. It happens and you can't stop it and yet...I think of the Otaku and it just seems like it's a journal of how I have changed myself over the years. This is how I acted with the people I loved, how my likes changed, my style. How my opinions changed. If the Otaku would just stay here forever I'd be able to look back on it and read my old posts. Just thinknig about it makes me smile.

A lot of you weren't around when I first came on. I know I met Aya (Jangalian) very quickly, and she's still here with me to this day and I love her so dearly for that. Most of you are "newer" friends that I met over time, and you've all come to mean so much to me, though I've never met any of you. And it makes me really sad that, something simple could tear us all apart. Just getting older will tear us apart.

Last night, for the first time, I watched the anime Air all the way through. I'd known of it, mostly because of Zakino and her Mizusu-layouts, and the song "Natsukage". But watching I realized how different it was from any other anime I'd ever seen. In fact, it was different from any and everything. It's more about life and death, it's about time, and love. Right off the bat it had made me just so upset, I cried for at least an hour after it was over and I couldn't think of why anyone would be okay with that. But I realized...at the end, even though the people were sad, they got over it, they moved on. They found new ways to make themselves smile, even though people were gone or changed, the time had passed, an era it seems, was entirely gone.

Even now the Otaku is changing. It hadn't scared me before but now it does. I don't know how else to hold on to that and I'm starting to think that if something goes wrong, just one simple thing, I'm going to have a hard time remembering what the O really was.

I'm grateful for it. So grateful.
I've met such wonderful people and I know that I am separating myself from this world, and the real world, even though the real world is not where I want to be.

There's not really a conclusion to this post at all. Nothing spiffy I can say to tie up already loose thoughts. I just wanted to put down some feelings and see what some of you would say, if you get a chance to stop by.

But before I go I wanted to leave a few things, just to remind you all that I'm here and real and that real people, real friends, make real efforts to stay that way =)

E-mail: darkserenity12@sbcglobal.net
MSN: nokia_jv@hotmail.com
AIM: xJaded Suicidex
Cell phone number (Verizon): 1-734-735-1715

and no, I won't think you weird if you add or take advantage of any of these things.
Just don't forget me =) don't forget us.

"What lingered after them was not life, but the most trivial list of mundane facts."


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