Sunday, February 7, 2010

sorry im such a bother/worry/trouble. Or maybe you dont care because i dont matter.
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Wednesday, February 3, 2010

So my mom called me after a day insisting she loved me and that i had to come back or shed report me as a runaway. #fail.

its now been two months since my life was shattered. I dont know what to do anymore. I still cant function. Im alone in a crowded room. Noone else understands me like they did.
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Thursday, January 28, 2010

i got kicked out of my house.
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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

a sense of normallcy has begun. Its confusing though. Because nothings normal. Its been almost 2 months since my life came crashing down. And as i try to pick up the piieces little things keep knocking me down agian. Today some guy ii work with was talking about how the roads were slippery. It made me glum and i dont know why. >.> i spoke to andy on facebook. If you remember back to my post the day he was the survivor in the coma. I spoke to him on facebook. The first thing i said was "dan wishes to borrow your xbox." xD i lulzed. And my other friend derek in the hospital, he's in an inpateint therpy thing. I get to visit him saturday. :) the only thing is. I dont know how much longer i can function alone. Im really needy like that.
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Monday, January 25, 2010

im havinng rocord lows. And the one remaining person i can lean on is gonnne. Thatd be derek. And hes in the hospital. And now im alone. With noone to turn to for 2 weeks, i dont know whatll happen.
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im havinng rocord lows. And the one remaining person i can lean on is gonnne. Thatd be derek. And hes in the hospital. And now im alone. With noone to turn to for 2 weeks, i dont know whatll happen.
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Sunday, January 24, 2010

wtf batman.
i think im going batshit insane. Im doing every self destructive thing imaginable. Cutting. Smoking. Drinking. Burning. throwing up. I dont sleep. And im incredibly tired. But im afraid of the nightmares. Theyd hate me. Theyd be so dissapointed. And i know it. But the emotional pain is so great i need something physical to even it out. It makes me feel alive. I just want to go back. And now i think im going crazy.
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Thursday, January 21, 2010

i should be with you.
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Monday, January 18, 2010

hi. I'm going to fail. Most likely not. But i think i will. My french teacher wants to give me a nocount on the exam from missing school. >.<
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Saturday, January 9, 2010

and the hardest part is being alone in a room full of people.
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