Wednesday, October 27, 2010

   Various items of some importance...

Hiya... I'm back again for a post since I'm waiting to get ready for my class today. I want to write, but I'm sort of procrastinating, which is weird. I don't know why I procrastinate something I want to do. It doesn't make much sense the more I think about it really, but that's exactly what I'm doing right now. I guess I'm a little bit stuck, but that usually doesn't last very long. Really Just need to work it out in my head for a few minutes and I'll be back to writing in a few moments. I feel better since my last post, not that I was feeling badly. Now today the problem is my AWS (A syndrome of my own creation. Translated as Ashley Wilkes Syndrome) AWS is hard to explain unless you've seen Gone with the Wind, but I'll attempt to explain it anyway. In the movie, Ashley loves his life and never wants it to change, but once the civil war comes his world ends and when he returns he is discontented by the world he is forced to live in because he can never go back to the life he had. The best partial quote I can recall is, and this isn't exact, "Of course you are. You're strong, Scarlett, you've never minded facing realities. Suddenly I find myself... in a world I don't understand and can't seem to cope with." Pretty much the story of my life, not because anything like that has happened, but simply because I've wished for years that I'd been born 70 something years ago. I simply do NOT understand the world today at all. I struggle with that pretty much all of the time. I think I'm making it more dramatic than it is. Usually it's just a subtle feeling I get, sometimes it's worse, but for the most part it's just subtle discontentment. Therefore, I say that my AWS is kicking up again and my Grandma knows what I'm talking about. lol. My room doesn't help any. It looks like the room a kid would have had in the 40s. I'm not even kidding. Apart from the tv, speakers, and laptop. I have magazines and everything. I'm pretty much crazy. I've been listening to The Platters for DAYS now... and Dean Martin. Plus my regular dose of movies. The time warp doesn't get any better, in fact it gets worse. I want to crawl into a movie and just live there most of the time. That's about all. I must prepare for school today and to see the creepy dude *shivers* I shall be on again! Comments (0) | Permalink Monday, October 25, 2010 Busy week.... Hiya... I've had a pretty busy week, or I should say a busy two weeks. I've watched the Yankees get kicked out of the playoffs... XP I was not happy about it. And then I soothed my sadness over it with antique shopping. I spent $60 the other day just on classic film magazines alone. XD My room is now a museum. I worked this morning before coming to classes. Now I'm pretty tired and I can't wait to find something to do. Tomorrow I work all day and come to school at night. I'm pretty tired, but more than that I think I'm just bored with my daily routine. I don't really do anything exciting and I think it's beginning to take a toll on my enjoyment of things. The work day seems so long because all I do is go home and do homework or sit home. And school is boring because all I do is go to class, speak to nobody, and then do homework in the cafeteria. My whole life right now is music... and movies. While I love to be alone, it would be nice to have something to do with people, just on occasion, you know just to break up the monotony of it all. Go to work, come home. Go to school, come how. On some days even, go to work, go to school, go home. It's just getting a little old. In other news, I have gone pretty much music CRAZY, buying albums by Sugarland, The Platters, Uh... a popular singer I'm embarrased to have on my Zune, and best of all Epica's new EP! It is SO good. It has reworkings of two songs that I LOVE and then it's got their new single This is the Time, all proceeds of which go to the WWF to help the enviroment. So if you want to help buy the single on iTunes! It is very good, and not metally at all. In additional Epica news, I'm going to their concert in 20 days!!! I'm so excited! I saw them last year this time and I LOVED it. I can't wait! Comments (0) | Permalink Monday, October 4, 2010    Sigh... Hiya... So the guy at school still wants to be friends and I'm not really into it. It wouldn't be a problem, but now he's invited himself to a concert I'm going to and he intends to go. I have a plan to say that my dad actually really wants to go. He doesn't, but he doesn't mind and I want to hang out with my dad more. So I hope that works to get him not to buy a ticket. I don't mind talking to him at school, but I'm really not interested in hanging out with him outside of school. He makes me nervous and I don't think I can really trust him not to try and make a move and I want no part of him in that way... at all. I made it very clear, but I just feel like he won't listen if I'm alone with him in a car driving to the show. I just get a weird vibe and I'd rather listen to my head than take a chance and wind up in some complicated position later. I got a new CD again. Tarja just released a new album. Her first after leaving Nightwish was really good! This one is still pretty good. I love her voice. If you liked original Nightwish you might like her new album What Lies Beneath. It's pretty entertaining. I also got Kenny Chesney's new album Hemmingway's Wiskey. I love Kenny. He never does anything really original, but he is still relaxing so I did like it. That's about all. I have to start working for my English class. I'll be on again. ^-^ Comments (0) | Permalink Tuesday, September 28, 2010    Gah... Hiya... So I made friends with a guy at school and at first I was really excited. Then I started to feel that he might be leaning toward asking me out. So I was excited again since I haven't ever been asked out before. Well sure enough he did and I said yes on a whim. Upon doing so he started talking about weird stuff... not really weird stuff but just enough to freak me out and I explained to him that stuff like that was NOT going to happen. I think it freaked him out and he decided we shouldn't date. I agreed happily because I wanted nothing to do with dating with him when he took every action I did as flirting, such as leaning down to put my phone away... gross. He has a dirty mind and I decided that I wanted nothing to do with that but ever since he's done nothing but text me. Gah! I feel like he's trying to be attentive, but dude, we're not dating. It's like the single most annoying thing ever. Finally we talked tonight and I said I hate texting, which is true. So he's going to stop. It sucks only because I feel like I was too eager originally and now I feel like I was leading him on, but really I wasn't. It made me decide that I really didn't want to date right now. Then again he turned me off and is NOT my type at all. So that could be why I wanted nothing to do with it once I gave it some thought. It's just like... geeze. I despise needy men. Aren't the girls supposed to want to talk? Not the guys? So there goes my one friend. Somehow though, I don't care. He started to annoy me anyway. I would rather wait and find people I really want to be around rather than deal with a guy I don't really feel like hanging out with. I'd rather do things alone than do that. I'm totally not a needy person. I do not need to talk to a person every moment no matter how much I like them. I just hate talking to people 24/7. Drives me CRAZY! I could be alone for days and have it bother me only a little bit. Having someone text me all of the time makes me want to throw my phone out of a window. Yeah, I'm not a typical girl. Dating is not my top priority right now. All I want at the moment is a good friend... I still have Hannah in DC, but she's so busy with school that we don't talk the way I would like to. So that was my rant for the day. I probably hurt his feelings, but he was driving me nuts. I am not a very nice person. lol. I'm really not. I don't know how my friends deal with me. Sometimes I wonder. All I've wanted to do for days is write my book, but I have no fricken time in my day and it is so depressing. I'll get to it again. Probably when I get home whenever I get a chance to get out of my night class... I don't have to get to school until 12:40 tomorrow so I have some time. That's about all. Bye! Comments (0) | Permalink Monday, September 27, 2010    DC... Hiya... I just got back from DC about midnight last night. It was incredible! I had SO much fun. My friend and I did so much in so little time. Two days felt like 4. I felt like she was just on a vacation because everything with us is still automatic. The minute we saw each other in the train station it was like she hadn't ever left and it was just so great. She has some great friends in DC and all of them were extremely nice. Her school makes amazing food. 0.o So we went to her campus and I had a tour. It's an amazingly nice campus, but that's what she gets for the tens of thousands of dollars she pays to go there. Then we went into DC and went to the Smithsonian and a few other places, took the metro to China town and had dinner and went to see You Again, which was actually hilarious and really good. After that and our feet were dead, we went back to the monuments because Hannah says they're better at night and she was right! It was so great. By the time we went past the White House we were both dead and went back to her dorm. By this time it was 2 am. The next morning we woke up around 10:30 and I decked myself out in AU gear and we continued on our journey. This time we went to Georgetown and visited a cupcake shop that has a tv show. Georgetown Cupcake is actually REALLY good and well worth the 20 minute wait. We both got shirts too. Pretty awesome. And then I had to come home. As Shakespeare put it, Parting is such sweet sorrow. I was so excited to leave simply because I wanted to see my new flat screen TV... but I wanted to stay so badly because I knew that I'd come home and suddenly I wouldn't have any friends again. T.T It felt so good to have a friend, a good friend that you just know inside and out as opposed to the first year you know a person where you're still careful what you say and how you act because you aren't sure how they'll react. I know I'll adjust again, but it was so nice. I know I'll be back again and I know she'll be back for Winter break and I can't wait. So that's about it. I've got to get to class! Bye! Comments (0) | Permalink Monday, September 13, 2010 DC and beyond... Hiya... So I have class today, work and class tomorrow and then class Wednesday. Then work Thursday and Friday. This past weekend I didn't have a weekend. I had to work both Saturday and Sunday. I didn't mind it so much, it was just strange and now suddenly it's monday and I feel like I had no break, but really I don't mind and there is always next weekend. I keep forgetting that my schedule now is my schedule until December and that I have plenty of time for fun... if I had friends lol So my best friend finally feels settled in to school, she's been gone for nearly a month, and she invited me down next weekend, the weekend after this weekend! I don't know if I'm going Friday night or if I'm leaving Saturday morning. Traveling all of the way to DC for 2 days really doesn't bother me. The train ride is only 2 hours long, but my grandma seems to think it's stupid. We're working that part out. I'm excited! I've never been to DC before. It's pretty sad considering I've been living on the east coast my entire life, but now I get the chance and since Hannah's been there over a month she knows what to show me. I'm really excited. I'll get a taste of dorm life, I don't think I'll enjoy that part... but I'm so exicted to see her again. I talk like it's been years, but it's only been a month. It's been lonely here though since I don't have any friends my own age now. Sucks, but I'm sure that will change. I remain opptimistic. Kamelot's new album comes out in 12 hours! GAHHHH! Truth be told, just like with Design Your Universe, Epica's latest release, I downloaded it illegally a day before it came out... I BOUGHT the album though! I bought it! It just won't come until tomorrow and I couldn't wait anymore while the British and Japanese got to listen to it for so long!!!! Gosh! I paid for it so really I don't see the trouble with it. I even bought a special edition. It is... incredible... My mind is blown. I should get off to class now I suppose. I really have a while yet, but I like to get their early and roam. I figure I might meet somebody someday if I keep getting their early. lol. It really doesn't bother me except for sometimes... but whatever. That's all. Bye! Comments (0) | Permalink Tuesday, September 7, 2010    Some things good, some things inbetween... Hiya... I knew I said I would post the day after classes start and here we are a week afterward, but I got so busy that I just sort of didn't bother. lol. I had work to do and I had to go to work and so on and so forth. Not a big deal. So with one week of college under my belt I feel pretty good admittedly. I like my English Comp class. It's hard and a challange, but I feel I'm up to it. My TV Production class has been interesting, but my professor made a mistake in movie history and you know me, I know my movie shit. He claimed that movies were just beginning to be colorized in the 50s so TV had to keep up when in actuallity movies were being filmed in color since 1939 with films such as Gone With The Wind, The Wizard of Oz, Robin Hood, Leave Her to Heaven, The Secret Garden, It Happened in Brooklyn, Anchors Aweigh among others. Plus, movies had been partially colorized since the mid thirties. Of course it would be an easy misconception that Gone With The Wind and The Wizard of Oz were the only ones, because the 40s was the Noir period in which most movies were black and white for effect, which was, in a sense, the entire Noir movement. In actuallity TV got into color to compete with movies, correct, but not because of the movies just getting color, but because the movie theaters were beginning to show action epics such as Ben-Her, King Solomon's Mines among others. Long movies and adventure tecni-color adventure films that nobody would ever want to see in a TV because it was too big and colorful for a small home television set. THAT is why TV decided to try color, not for the reason my professor said. I so wanted to raise my hand, but I didn't. My Photography class is interesting too. I go again tonight. I had off yesterday for Labor Day and I took off of work today. I go back Thursday-Sunday. I work the whole weekend, but only once and a while. It doesn't bother me. Kamelot postponed their concert. *Sad face* Their lead singer got sick and innitially they were going to go on, but decided today that they had better wait for Roy to get back so they can give us the real experience of the band. While I'm partially grateful, because Roy is my main reason for loving Kamelot, I did so want to go. Now I'll just have to wait and get tickets for the rescheduled show when it's announced, hopefully in a time I don't have to miss a class to see them at at the same venue. That's about all. Bye! Comments (0) | Permalink Monday, August 30, 2010    College... Hiya... So today I start college. I have my first class a little after noon. I've been so nervous about this for a little over a week and I'm pretty happy that it will all be over by this time tomorrow. I'll be used to it and I'll feel alright. Right now though I'm so nervous. Everybody keeps telling me that I'm going to love college, and I wish they wouldn't. Expecting to love it is not what I need to hear. If I don't... then what? I'm not saying I won't like it, but what if I don't? You know? I'm just freaked out. All of my friends have gone to school. My best friend loves it. She went all of the way down to DC to start school. I'm going to visit later in September or maybe early October. So at least there is that. Another positive to starting college is that I might make friends. I've been pretty much alone since early August and I just need some friends my own age. Of course that might be easier said than done. I'm not exactly a sociable person. I don't like making new friends. I don't like the initial awkward conversations. I've been friends with Hannah for 5 years. We know each other and I like to know my friends. Making new ones is so difficult for me. I'm so used to the friends I've had. To make new ones kinda sucks, but she's in DC and I've got to be able to hang out with people my own age on occasion. So we'll see how things go socially. It might take time to meet people I can stand to get along with. They have to like Epica or classic films to some extent. Or be willing to try... or at least listen to my rambles. It would be nice to find somebody with my musical tates though because Epica is coming back to the US in November and I bought a VIP ticket to MEET the band! It would be cool to go with somebody as excited as me or willing to attend. Right now I have my dad's promise that he'll go with me if all else fails. Not that spending time with my dad bothers me, it really doesn't, but he doesn't like Epica at all... He does like Kamelot though. He's going with me to see them on September 14th. Hannah likes Epica and she wanted to come up for the show so badly, but couldn't because the train ride is over $60 and she wouldn't be able to stay for anything but the show. So we'll see what my friend search brings up, if anything. I just really can't wait to get this burden of stress off of my shoulders. In regards to my last post, I feel a lot better about being alone. In fact I feel fine. I won't lie and say that I'm glad to have nobody around, but I feel alright. I got over it. A couple days and I've convinced myself to get over it. I know the last post seemed depressed, but by now you all know that I am not a depressed person. I get that way for a day or two and then I talk myself out of it. I'm good that way. I always know it will pass. I feel like driving to school early and walking around campus to see if I can't figure out where the hell I'm going... Maybe I will. But leaving at 11 when my first class starts at 12:40 might be overdoing it just a bit. That's about all for right now. I'm going to listen to some Kamelot and try to relax before I take off. I'll post tomorrow about how the first day went. Tomorrow is going to be a LONG day. 7 hours at work and then a 4 hour class.... Comments (0) | Permalink Tuesday, August 17, 2010    *Sigh* Hiya... So I've been a little bit depressed lately and for probably a really stupid reason. All of my friends have either gone or are going away to college. While I haven't really seen anybody but Hannah over the last few months, well she's gone now so that really got me, but now I really am essentially alone. I have NO friends my age, none. Besides that, and probably even more depressing for me is that I'm stuck at home for school. I'm going to the local community college... everything stays the same. It's just sort of depressing for me to be home and all of my friends going to far away places. Hannah's in DC and one of my friends is going to Gettysburg and I'm just... here. I'm not saying I'd like dorm life or college elsewhere, but I would have liked to get the chance to experience it and I'm just sort of bummed about it. I keep telling myself that I'll feel better about everything once I start school in 2 weeks, but I think I'll be a little bit bitter for a while. I felt this way when everybody was getting their acceptance letters to school and now I'm jealous of everybody going away. I'm just one of the only people I knew who couldn't afford to go away. Plus, I didn't get the grades in High School to get me a scholarship. I partially blame myself for that, but also my school for holding back my potential as far as English was concerned. But I just felt like venting about it. It is a little bit depressing. I'm sure I'll get over it, it just sucks right now. I have nobody to go to the movies with or do anything with. I'm just working constantly and going to the gym. I like being alone, but I like to go do some social things... I guess I just like to know that I COULD do something if I wanted to. Now I know I can't and it sucks. That's about all. Bye. Comments (0) | Permalink Tuesday, July 27, 2010    Concerts, writing and more... Hiya, Yeah I find I still like posting on here so I shall once and a while just because this site seems to be pulsating with a little bit of life of late. Four comments is the most I've gotten in... almost forever. At least in 2 years. Another day off tomorrow. I worked 53 hours in the last 2 weeks. 0.o At least my pay check will be pretty big. Plus, working hard never did anything but good things. School starts in a little over a month. Still nervous about college, but I'm still very sure I'll get over it. I go through cycles of being really excited and nervous. So we'll see how this ends up. I've gotta go get text books. I'm taking Intro to TV Production, English Comp and Digital photography. Should be interesting. With my off day tomorrow I'm going to do pretty much nothing. Go to the gym and then later on head to a friend's house. We're finally going to see Nine, which we've both wanted to see for a while now. It'll probably be terrible, but it doesn't much matter to me either way. Concerts are popping up all over the place suddenly. Kamelot, Epica, Sonata Arctica and Flyleaf are all coming to the US in the next 6 months. I'm really excited... so long as I can find people go to with me. lol. I need friends. Yankees are doing really well. We're 63 and 39. I'm really excited! That's all for now. See ya. 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