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Monday, February 27, 2006


   Hmm....
I'm bored... again... Hey, can someone give me some constructive critisim on my story?? I'll post it if you SWEAR BY ALL THAT IS ANIME NOT TO STEAL IT!! IT'S MINE DAMMIT! Comment and tell me what you think please. This is just a snippet, mind you.

Life, Be Thou Fickle?


Sometimes life was just so unfair. One day, you’re going about your daily duties, and the next, you’re on your way to a new town because some damn alchemists had to burn down your home! You huffed as you sat in the seat of the train. Having your house burnt down was something you had not planned on for the weekend, nor was moving to go live with your aunt!

Well, all that aside, you looked idly out the window. You’d been living on your own since you were twelve; two years ago. Your parents had died unsuspectingly when you were you were still a small child. Your aunt had taken care of you ever since. No one had known how they died; there was no evidence of it whatsoever. They just turned up dead in their house. At least, that’s what your aunt told you. Somehow, you had a gut feeling that wasn’t what happened, but you never pressed the matter.

Now, back to those damn alchemists! How dare they strut into your town and then just burn down your house all willy-nilly?! Furious as you were, you tried not to let it get to you. Still, what right did they have to ruin the peace and sanctity of your town? To your knowledge, it wasn’t very important to the military, so why we’re there alchemists there in the first place?

This is a question that you’d been reminiscing over for quite some time. Nothing in your town had even remotely concerned the military until now; also, there had been no suspicious activity at all. This led you to believe that alchemists were rotten, horrid, ugly, cruel, ruthless, lying, cheating, cold, heartless, brutal people...

This was, of course, what everybody had always tried to tell you. You had always been fond of alchemists; you found what they could do fascinating, at least, until they worked their “magic” on your hometown. You sighed again, pushing a strand of (color) hair out of the vision of your deep (color) eyes. What could be worse than having everything you own being burnt to a crisp?

“Hey, do you mind; everywhere else if full?”

You just had to ask...

There, in the doorway of the compartment was the cause of all this, that damned alchemist! You didn’t know his name, and you didn’t know what he had against you, but you hated him! He was the cause of all this! You growled softly in your throat. You quickly faked a smile, though, and shook your head. He sat wordlessly and a tall suit of armor followed him in soon after. You sighed for what seemed the millionth time that day, and resumed your blank staring out the train window.

~~~~

You arrived in your aunt’s hometown much later. It was, to say the least, beautiful. You’d only heard rumors of the peacefulness and exquisite charm of Resembool, and none of them did it justice.
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So, was it good?? Please tell me what you thought! I'm desperate for some critism!

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