Tuesday, March 15, 2016
Does this still even work?
I guess it does, since I just posted that last sentence and it showed up. I can also edit these, but I can't seem to edit my broken intro.
I mean, I'm not trying to change that silly paragraph or anything. There are just severely broken links littering the page and they bug me. Maybe it's a sign to preserve what this place looked like from August 2009.
August 2009. Wow. That was nearly seven years ago. A completely different person last posted here. Glancing around I see a nearly 18 year old woman-child obsessed with celebrities and wrestling, which is less embarrassing than when I started the blog, obsessing over, you, know anime.
The thing I find most interesting, though, is that I stopped visiting right when my senior year began. I'd been through a good...two years of depression at this point for pretty much the dumbest reason.
I had a crush. On my teacher. Woe was me.
Sure, it seems laughable now, all the absolute misery I put myself through because I kind of liked my not that much older than me teacher, but it's easy when you're 24 years old (his exact age when I met him) and you've had actual life experience now.
But my senior year was when I got involved with the man I am actually getting married to in just over a week. It's the only year out of the four in high school that really has anything to do with my life now, and I stopped short. So this place feels so disconnected. Like there is a literal break in who I was then and who I am today.
It's fitting, then, when so much is about to change in my life, that I return here. I didn't have a real job, I didn't really have any responsibility, I didn't really have any plans for my future. And now here I am, just four days away from leaving my first and only job, about to get married, and also about to be just as alone as I was then with a lot of time on my hands.
I'm different, sure, but also the same. It's good to come back here and think of all the things I've been through and know it's all okay in the end. Obviously, it's better than okay.
I sort of lost the point mid-way through this, but I feel good, and I guess that's all that matters.