Friday, October 15, 2004

Stream Of Unconsciousness I am at work right now. At least I am writing this at work right now, for all I know you are reading this while I am in the bathroom or while I am snuggly tucked into my large, warm bed beneath a pile of blankets. I guess that where I am is not very poignant, at least to you, unless you are stalking me. If that is the case feel free to knock on my door, since I tend to invite the Jehovah’s witnesses in I doubt that I would turn you away. That is, unless you smell, I abhor smelly people. And midgets. I have been uncommonly tired the last couple of days. Not sleepy tired, but tired in the lazy, languid way that you get after you smoke a fat joint. No, I haven’t been smoking fat joints lately, nor have I been toking on skinny joints, bowls, bongs, or any other of that damn hippie paraphernalia. Although I occasionally wish I was. Sorry, I had to get up and stretch my legs; they were feeling a bit numb. Where was I? Oh yeah, I was talking about nothing, although “nothing” is entirely up to philosophical debate. Have you ever seen SLC Punk? If not you should. They talk about nothing quite a bit during the film, although they try to mask it as deep, thought provoking ideals. Still, it is a good movie. Shooter McGavin is in it, unfortunately he doesn’t tell anybody that he eats pieces of shit for breakfast. I wonder what would happen if I just told my boss that I was going home right now. I don’t think he would take me very seriously. No one does, myself included. I guess I am not a very serious person. One time I felt suicidal but then I realized my psyche was probably just trying to pull another practical joke. Addiction, yeah, I am an addict. I am addicted to mediocrity. But only really good mediocrity, the sub-standard shit was never really my bag of tea. Wait a minute, I think I confused my metaphors, it should have read “cup of tea”, tea bagging is something entirely unrelated to this post. Unless I decide to talk about sex…though I don’t think I will. Speaking of tea and addiction, I am addicted to Tazo Green Tea. Actually I think I will have some in a few minutes when I head to lunch. Until next time.

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Tuesday, October 5, 2004

Peeved Supposedly Neil Gaiman is coming to my school on the eleventh. I say supposedly because it seems as though he may have a scheduling conflict. He better come...he better (grins maliciously, but in an overly cheesy fake way). By the way, what the hell happened to Tony?

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Thursday, September 23, 2004

Girl Gone wild I went on a blind date two weeks ago. It was…interesting, to say the least. About a week earlier my Uncle called me up and asked me to do him a favor. One of his friends had a granddaughter that recently moved into town and she didn't really know anybody. Obviously, he wanted yours truly to take her out and show her around town. Since I owed him a favor (well, probably several favors considering that I mooch off of them constantly) I grudgingly accepted, silently praying that she wasn't a hideous she beast. Shallow? Me? I think so. It was up to me to call her up, introduce myself, and ask her out all in one foul swoop. After several minutes of unsuccessfully pondering what to say I picked up my trusty cell phone and dialed her digits. Immediately after I introduced myself I realized that she had no idea that someone would be calling her. This put me in a particularly peculiar position but I charmed my way out of it nicely…either that or she pitied me enough to play along. I made plans to pick her up the following Friday and sighed a sigh of relief when I hung up my phone. On Friday evening I dressed in a pink polo shirt, a pair of distressed jeans, and my blue and white Roos (the awesomest sneakers ever made). Needless to say I arrived at Amy's (my blind date) house looking like my usual preppy self. A thin girl with chestnut colored hair wearing a halter top met me at the door. I amazed to find out that she was Amy; she looked very young for a twenty-three year old. She looked jail bait young. We ventured to a small coffee shop first because it was too late for dinner but too early to go bar hopping. After ordering we sat at a small booth talked for awhile. It turns out she is an occupational therapist and blah, blah, blah. It only took me a half of an hour or so to realize that she and I were almost as compatible as Ron Jeremy and Mother Theresa. However, she seemed like a really nice girl and I found her somewhat interesting, so I agreed to go bar hopping with her after we finished our coffee like drinks. It was fun at first. And then she got drunk, really, really drunk. I don't know how she got so drunk. I didn't buy her many drinks and she certainly didn't buy her own. She was an affectionate drunk, and in a very short while her hands found their way underneath my polo and her lips maneuvered towards mine. To be fair to her, I did kiss back, after all she was cute and I am me. After a short little make out session I excused myself and went to the restroom, when I came back I noticed that Amy was so drunk that she was having a hard time keeping her balance. I decided it was time to call it a night. "I think I should take you home." She feigned embarrassment and said "Charlie, I am not that easy!" Then she kissed me and led me outside. When we reached my car she leaned against the passenger door and looked up at me for a kiss. Instead I grabbed her waist, picked her up, and sat her on the roof of my car. Then, with as much fake bravado as I could muster, I opened the door like a professional chauffer. Luckily, she giggled and hopped into the front seat. Her language during the first half of the car ride home was pretty X-rated, but she fell asleep (or rather passed out) so I luckily managed to get her home without crashing my car. I carried her into her house and put her on her bed, then woke her up to make sure she was alive. She seemed alright so I headed home. When I got back to my place eighty percent of me felt fairly noble…the other twenty percent cursed myself for not going after a sure thing…damn my penis and it's mighty hold over my conscience!

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Friday, July 30, 2004

My Potty Mouth 001) What time are you starting this?: Five-ish 002) Name?: I prefer to be called “sir” 003) Date of birth?: I was hatched 004) Sex?: Not right now, thank you. 005) Height?: 6’1” 006) Eye color?: mostly white 007) Weight?: 185lbs…fighting weight baby! 008) Location?: Kickin’ Ass in the U.S. of A 009) Where were you born?: refer to “hatched” answer 010) Have you ever failed a grade?: I have got a failing grade but I never failed a grade 011) If you have, what grade did you fail?: Can’t you read motherfucker? 012) Do you have crush on someone?: Besides myself? 013) Do you have a bf/gf?: Abbreviations confuse me… 014) If so, what is their name?: If so what is who’s name? 015) How long have you been together?: What the fuck are you talking about? Does this have anything to do with those damn abbreviations? 016) What are you wearing right now?: Oh, I see where this question I heading…no, I am not wearing a condom, you got me. 017) Would you have sex before marriage?: Only if she was really hot, or if she was willing to have sex with me. 018) Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers?: Yeah, but none of them were willing to sleep with me. 019) Are you a virgin?: If I say “yes” will it make you like me any better? 020) Do you smoke?: I dabbled in the marijuana in my youth… 021) Do you drink?: What gives you the right to cal me an alcoholic! 022) Are you ghetto?: Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got…. 023) Are you a player?: Nah, golf doesn’t interest me 024) What are your favorite colors?: White Power!...uhm, that didn’t come out right. 025) What is your favorite animal?: I am not sure, though I know my least favorite animal is the midget. 026) Do you have any birthmarks?: Just a fourth nipple 027) Have you ever gotten your ass kicked?: Not for five whole minutes bitch! 028) Who are your best friends?: Do you honestly think people want to hang out with me? 029) Have you ever beat someone up?: What? You want to go right now bitch? We will fight! 030) Who do you talk to most on the phone?: People that insist I owe them money. 031) Have you ever been slapped?: Only by women. 032) Do you get online a lot?: Yes, and I still haven’t watched all of the porn on the internet. 033) Are you shy or outgoing?: I am outgoing towards shy people because I enjoy giving them a false sense of security. 034) Do you shower?: I am writing this in the shower… 035) Do you hate school?: Only when I have to pay for it. Why the hell should I have to pay to get graded on something. 036) Do you have a social life?: Does talking to yourself and your plants count? 037) How easily do you trust people?: I never trust anyone, oh by the way, do you mind holding onto my wallet full of cash for a moment? 038) Have you ever lied to your best friends?: Of course, if they knew what I was really like they wouldn’t hang out with me! 039) Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing?: My penis is not a s long as you would be led to believe, 040) Would you ever sky dive?: What do you think I am doing while I am filling out this quiz, while I am in the shower? 041) Do you like to dance?: I only dance erotically. 042) Do you like your handwriting?: I only write erotically. 044) What is the compliment you get most from people?: “Hey, you don’t smell today.” 045) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: Not in the Face 046) What's your biggest fear?: Besides Midgets? Maybe two midgets? 047) Can you sing?: Twice as good as Brittney Spears 048) You ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: I pretended to be Janet Reno once to get into a bar. 049) Are you a loner?: Only when no one is around 050) What is your number?: I didn’t know I owned a number, hopefully it isn’t one. It is so lonely that I am sure it would be needy. 051) If you were another person, would you be friends with who you are now?: How the hell am I supposed to answer a bullshit question like that? 052) Are you a daredevil?: No, I am Be Affleck. 053) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: Besides myself in general? 054) Are you aggressive or passive?: I am passive, unless you piss me off. Then I will pop you in the mouth bitch! 055) Have you got a journal?: No, journals are for queers 056) What is your greatest strength and weakness? Strength=The ability to remain conscious after consuming tons of alcohol; Weakness=Projectile vomiting 057) If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be, why?: Have to go with “penis size” again 058) There are three wells: love, beauty and creativity; which one would you drink out of?: I would drink out of the third in order to creatively think of a way to drink out of the first two, 060) Do you think you are emotionally strong?: Well, I do cry a lot. 061) Do you live in the moment?: I am sorry, what were you saying? 062) Do you have any bad habits?: Well, I do enjoy heroine quite a bit 063) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: Don’t walk in front of traffic. 064) What do you like the most about your body?: My sexy body. 065) And least? The size of my ass, it is fucking huge. 066) Do you think you are good looking?: Hell yeah, I’d fuck myself if I could. 067) Are you confident?: Only when I am hopped up on amphetamines. 068) Have you ever been out of state?: Where do think I am typing this from? I am in skydiving with my shower over another state. 069) Do you like to travel?: Only when I don’t have to leave my house 070) Have you ever been expelled from school?: Nah, I am too cool for school. 071) Have you ever been suspended from school?: I just said I was too cool for school, didn’t I? Get your head out of your ass. 071) Do you want to get out of your hometown?: I was forcibly removed. 072) Are you spoiled?: Only when I don’t get what I want. 073) Are you a brat?: No. 074) Have you ever been dumped?: Yeah right, any girl would give their left arm to get with a fine piece of man like me. 075) Have you ever gotten high?: What? Do you have some pot? 076) What's your favorite drink?: Anything that has enough alcohol to kill a small animal. 077) Do you like Snapple?: Only if it has booze in it. 078) Do you drink a lot of water?: Only if it has booze in it. 079) What toothpaste do you use?: Only if it has bo…oh sorry. I use Crest 080) Do you have a cell phone or pager?: What, do you think I am just going to give you my digits? 081) Do you have a curfew?: I have to arrive home in time to shower before work. 082) Who do you look up to?: The Kool Aid Man, because he is kick ass. 083) Are you a role model?: I am proud to say that I am. 084) Have you ever been to Six Flags?: No, I went once but they don’t let naked people into the park. 085) What name brand do you wear the most?: Kleenex 086) What kind of jewelry do you wear?: I never go anywhere without my pimp cup. 087) What do you have pierced?: Just my sac. 088) What do you want pierced?: maybe a tongue ring that I could attach a chain to and wear it in tandem with my sac ring. 089) Do you like taking pictures?: Only of my pierced sac. 090) Do you like getting your picture taken?: Only of my pierced sac. 091) Do you have a tan?: Only on my pieced sac. 092) Do you get annoyed easily?: Only when people frequently mention my pierced sac. 093) Have you ever started a rumor?: Only that one I started about Elvis still being alive. 094) Do you have your own phone/phone line?: Yeah, a 1-900 number. And it is HOT 095) Do you have your own pool?: Yes, I inflate it every Tuesday 096) Do you have any siblings?: None that will admit being related to me 097) Do you prefer boxers or briefs?: Commando 098) Have you ever been played?: No but I’ve been served. 099) Have you ever played anyone?: No, I hate the game. 100) Do you get along with your parents?: Only when we aren’t speaking 102) How do you vent your anger?: I kick midgets 103) Have you ever run away?: Once, no one has still bothered to look for me. 104) Have you ever been fired from a job?: Not this week. 105) Do you even have a job?: Not this week 106) Do you daydream a lot?: What was the question again? 107) Do you have a lot of exes?: They all live in Texas. With that corny line I think you can determine how many exes I have. 108) Do you run your mouth?: Of course, bitch. 109) What do you want a tattoo of?: Me kicking your ass. 110) What do you have a tattoo of?: Me getting kicked by an ass. 111) What are your favorite flowers?: The ones that you can smoke. 112) What does your ex bf/gf look like?: She was a fluff girl in a porno flick 113) What does your most recent crush look like?: Like the star of a porno flick… 114) Have you ever been bitched out?: Probably getting bitched out right now. 115) When was the last time you bitched someone out?: Pay attention you jive turkey. 116) Are you rude?: Do I really need to answer this? 117) What was the last compliment you received?: "It isn’t as small as I thought it would be” 118) Do you like getting dirty?: Are you coming on to me? 119) Is your bellybutton an innie or outie?: You are coming on to me! 120) Are you flexible?: Jesus Christ, I don’t want to sleep with you! 121) What is your heritage?: look, I said that I am not going to fuck you, you dirty, dirty slut. 122) What is your lucky number?: No means no. 123) What does your hair look like right now?: Okay, you’ve got ten minutes. 124) Could you ever be a vegetarian?: Only if I could still eat meat. 125) When was your last real heartbreak?: When I lost my He-man action figure yesterday. 126) Describe your looks?: Sexy Beast 127) If you had to completely dye your hair it'd be what color?: A very sexy color…probably indigo. 128) Would you ever date someone younger than you?: Sure, as long as they didn’t tell the cops. 129) Would you ever date someone older than you?: Only if they are hot. 130) When was the last time you were drunk?: Not counting now? 131) When was the last time you went on a date?: Ever since the female gender collectively filed a restraining order. 132) Would you rather give or receive oral sex?: I am a giver, but I’d rather be a taker. 133) Have you ever given?: Obviously 134) Have you ever received?: Retract your teeth! 135) Have you ever had an eating disorder?: Only in order to better my self worth. 136) Do you have one now?: No, but I am feeling pretty low, give me a week. 137) How many rings until you answer the phone?: I don’t like creditors, I let the answering machine get it. 138) Have you ever been skinnydipping?: What do you think I am doing right now? 139) If yes, when was the last time?: …pay attention ass mouth. 140) Do you look more like your mother or father?: Whoever gives me more money on my birthday. 141) Do you cry a lot?: Constantly 142) Do you ever cry to get your way?: Of course, it is a great ice braker. 143) If you had to amputate one limb, what would it be?: My fourth nipple. 144) What phrase do you use most when on the phone?: “No, Charlie isn’t home, but I’ll let him know you called” 145) Are you the romantic type?: only when I am suicidal 146) Have you ever been chased by cops?: That’s why I was skydiving naked! 147) What do you like most about your body?: I am sexy all over 148) What do you like least about your body?: my penis 149) Who did you last hook up with?: Brittney Spears, and she gave me VD 150) When was the last time you threw up?: 1 hour and 16 minutes ago 151) In the opposite sex, do you prefer blondes or brunettes?: As long as they shave their pubic hair I have no preference. 152) What do the shoes you last wore look like?: Like ass kicking shoes… 153) Do you ever wear shirts to show your belly?: Only during my runway shows <154) What about cleavage?: Again, you have to be enticing in drag 155) Is your best friend a virgin?: I wouldn’t date a virgin unless she was going to put out. 156) Have you ever fucked someone up?: There are too many meanings to this question, but yes. 157) Have you ever been fucked up?: Ditto 158) What color are your underwear right now?: Underwear schmunderwear 159) What theme does your room have?: It is very messy 160) What size shoe do you wear? Twelve, big but not too big 161) What jewelry are you wearing now?: besides my sac ring and my pimp cup? Nada. 162) What is your screen name on AIM?: Squeelikeapig 163) Would you pick a wedgie in public?: yeah 164) How are you feeling right now?: I am feeling sexy and itchy from Brittney disease. 165) When was the last time you were at a party?: Invited or uninvited 166) Have you ever given a lapdance?: Only naked 167) What do you sleep in?: A blanket made of a thousand midget skins 168) Has there ever been a rumor spread about you?: Is there ever not a rumor about me. 169) What is one of your bad qualities?: Brittney Spears gave me a venereal disease, oh, and I am selfish. 170) What is one of your good qualities?: I am sexy 171) Would you marry for money?: Is there any other reason to marry. 172) What do you drive?: Nothing, ever since I broad sided Billy Joel 173) Have you ever given or received roadhead?: Only while she was driving, hence the Billy Joel incident. 174) Are you more of a mama or daddy's child?: I was hatched cock. 175) What's does your myOtaku username mean?: It means I totally kick ass 176) What's your favorite myOtaku to read?: the one about porn 177) When was the last time you cried in school?: yesterday 178) Do you wear Chucks?: Only when I have no other hats to wear. 179) For two million dollars, would you pose for Playboy?: Hell yeah, but I would have to get a penis enlargement. 180) What time are you finishing this?: Seven-ish…. Comments (5) | Permalink Tuesday, July 27, 2004 Comatose Last night Insomnia and I played video games until five in the morning. I don’t know why she hung around so long, I can’t even remember ever inviting her over. Regardless, she entered my room while I sleepily paged through Dean Koontz’s The Face without so much as a knock. Too tired to do anything constructive, yet too alert to sleep, I decided to try and beat Tiger Heli on my NES. After an hour or two of monotonous button mashing my fingers grew weary and my stomach growled. I knew that if I didn’t satisfy my rumbling tummy Ms. Insomnia would never leave. So I threw on a pair of chinos and fired up my trusty fire engine red stallion. Outside there was a light drizzle of rain and my small town was covered in a shroud of mist. In my obvious state of oblivion the irony of my surroundings went unnoticed. I drove to the only fast food chain that remains open at suck ungodly hours, Taco Bell. I took the wallet out of my back pocket and handed the cashier a bill. When I received my change I stuffed my wallet into an open compartment between my seats. I arrived famished, with thoughts of a pair of Baja chicken chalupas dancing merrily through my weary brain, and grabbed my food from the passenger seat paying no attention to my wallet. When I entered my small town home turned the television on and ate my Taco Bell food with little gusto. Afterwards I attempted to go to sleep, unsuccessfully. I decided to play some more video games, fortunately their pixilated goodness kept me company until five am or so when I was finally able to fall asleep. I slept in this morning and woke up in a foul mood. I knew something was going to be wrong. I went through the usual morning routine and headed out my door to work. It only took me a pull of a lever to realize what was wrong. My wallet was still in the open center compartment between the driver and passenger seats, but it was lacking the eighty or so dollars that were there the previous evening. I guess I forgot to lock my car door the previous evening. Luckily, the thief only took the cash out of my wallet and left my credit cards and ID. Comments (5) | Permalink Saturday, July 24, 2004 1. Super Size It Biatch I usually don’t like surveys and quizzes but this one seemed interesting. Soundtrack to Your Life Survey Make a soundtrack for your life, matching songs with the following: Opening song: Linus & Lucy (the Charlie Brown Suite) Vince Guaraldi Waking up: Little Martha The Allman Brother’s Band First date: My Stupid Mouth John Mayer First kiss: Please Be Kind Frank Sinatra and the Count Basie Orchestra Falling in love: Someday My Prince Will Come Miles Davis Seeing an old love: November Rain Guns and Roses Heartbreak: The Dance Garth Brooks Driving fast: Rush Yoko Kano Getting ready to go out: Girls, Girls, Girls Motley Crue Partying with friends: Unchained Van Halen Dancing at a club: Take Me Out Franz Ferdinand Flirting: Hey Jealousy Gin Blossoms Feeling sexy: Sexual Healing Ben Harper Walking alone in the rain: Tears in Heaven Eric Clapton Missing someone: Wild Horses The Rolling Stones Playing in the ocean: Riders on the Storm The Doors Summer vacation: Pipeline Stevie Ray Vaughn Fighting with someone: Star Fucker Inc. Nine Inch Nails Acting goofy with friends: What I Got Sublime Thinking back: Hero of the Day Metallica Feeling depressed: River of Deceit Mad Season Christmas time: Little Drummer Boy David Bowie & Bing Crosby Falling asleep: Wake Up Time Tom Petty Closing song: The End The Beatles Comments (2) | Permalink Wednesday, July 21, 2004 1. Super Size It Biatch Last night I was in the mood for grease. Since I knew I was going to restart my diet today, I decided to treat myself to some MacDoh’s (McDonalds for those of you who don’t understand my lingo). When I pulled up to the illuminated menu I noticed something entirely kick-ass, the Super Size menu was back. McDonalds had recently gotten rid of the Super Size menu because of the negative press it received due to the documentary Super Size Me. I guess McDonalds was concerned that too many fat-ass people were going to blame their fat asses on the franchise and file lawsuits. Fortunately for MacDoh Inc, the fat people’s fingers were so fat that they couldn’t properly push down the buttons on their phone to complain about how McDonalds made them fat. So, over the past month or so, fat people traveled en mass to their local McDonalds to complain. However, their arguments were halted by the tantalizing aromas of fired burgers, fried chicken nuggets, and fried fries. The fat people were so overwhelmed that they couldn’t resist ordering food…lots of food. And, of course, they all wanted their extra value meals super sized! When they were unable to receive their trough of fries and gallon of cola along with their double quarter pounder with cheese hamburgers they remembered that they originally drove to McDonalds to complain about something. However, with their excess fat pushing against the walls of their brains, the fat fucks couldn’t remember exactly what they intended to complain about. So they decided to get upset and complain about the absence of the super size option from McDonalds menus. Obviously McDonalds was overjoyed, after all, the more food that these fatties consumed, the more money MacDoh’s makes, and the closer they come to world domination. Anyway, I decided to super size my meal, because I like MacDoh’s fries and I really wanted a huge sugary soda (super sized sodas are GIGANTIC). However, when I got to the window I made a point of telling the woman working the drive through that I didn’t appreciate that McDonalds was once again contributing to the obesity of America. She gave me the finger, spat in my cheeseburger, and asked me to “come again.” Comments (2) | Permalink Monday, July 19, 2004 1. Hear Me Now & Smell My Breath Later 1. Democratic State Senator Sheila Kuehl accused Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger of being sexist and a homophobe after he referred to his democratic counterparts as “Girlie Men”. Although Arnold did not apologize the “Girlie Man” reference he was glad that the Senator didn’t decide to sue him for sexual harassment when he used “I will pump you up!” in a more recent speech. 2. Personally, I if I was going to be pinned as being a homophobic sexist, I would at least want to follow up with a comment that was derogatory. Perhaps Arnie should counter this accusation with an honest remark like “I haven’t heard this much complaining since I groped that three titted girl on the set of Total Recall. If you guys didn’t have that six foot dildo jammed so far up your assholes maybe you would lighten up and quit talking so much shit.” 3. Obviously there is a reason why I am not the governor of California. 4. By saying that you find the term “Girlie Man” offensive, aren’t you just proving that you are, indeed, a “Girlie Man”? 5. President Bush stated today that he wants to know all of the facts before he can judge whether or not Iran was involved in the September 11th attacks. The ironing in that statement alone is delicious. 6. By the way, Bush stated today that regardless of whether or not Iran is connected to the September 11th attacks we are still going to “bomb the hell out of those towel headed mofos!” 7. The CIA is diligently trying to decide which spot euphemism to use to try and convince the President that, despite the lack of evidence, we should opt for war with Iran. Since “slam dunk” has already been used they are debating between “Its going, going, GONE!” and “He could go all the way!” 8. With the assault in Iran pending CNN has decided to hire John Madden to work side by side with Wolf Blitzer in campaign by campaign announcing. 9. During her stay in the clinic Mary Kate Olson’s anchor has been her twin sister Ashley. Ashley has been really supportive, teaching Mary Kate that anorexia is not necessary. Bulimia is much more effective and you still get to eat! 10. Who do you think would win in a fight, Rosie O’Donnell or Rosanne? Comments (7) | Permalink Saturday, July 17, 2004 I Love the 2035's A surprise awaits you around every corner! Well not really, but they do tend to jump out at the most unexpected moments (though it would wouldn't really be a surprise if you expected it, would it?). I was surprised today when I got saw a package in the mail from Aleia. Even though I knew she was ssending me a package I didn't expect it so quickly, so many, many thanks Aleia!! What did I recieve, you ask? Well I recieved the kick ass Scarling CD, Sweet Heart Dealer. I am not going to elaborate much on this CD because if you visit here you are probably also visiting Wrapped in Plastic (if you are not you should be Ass-Face) and have read T-Dawgs review of the band. The only thing I can add to his mighty awesome review is that the album has a track entitled Crispin Glover. If you are cool, you would recognize Crispin Glover's name from Back to the Future (where he played Marty McFly's father) or from the Doors (where he played Andy Warhol). If you are a loser you might recognize him as Thin Man from the Charlie's Angel's movies. Since I know him from both I am obviously a cool loser. I'd also like to shamefully plug a couple cool comic books, mainly because they are way cooler than Anime or Manga ever could hope to be (I can feel the heat from the inevitable flames that comment will draw). The first title is Ex Machina. Issue number two is just coming out this week (and I am sure number one is floating around still at most stores) and it is guaranteed to be an interesting read. The main character is a super hero turned politician that seems to have the ability to communicate with various man-made devices. The plot seems very character driven and Tony Harris and Tom Feister do an amazing job on the art. The other title I'd like to plug is Sleepers, another anti-hero driven comic. This is another new title, so I am not sure if the plot will sustain in the long run, but right now it seems pretty awesome. The only information that has so far been presented about the main character is that he was a good guy but now he is bad, and he is a bad ass. The reader has no idea what makes him a bad ass, we just no he is. All right, enough for now. Again, many thanks go out to Aleia for the kick ass CD! Comments (6) | Permalink Friday, July 16, 2004 The Simpson Sisters Suck Oh boy, oh boy today was the day from heck...although Hell did seem to be glaring at me ominously, licking its chops. Two rays of sunshine penetrated today’s dark and dreary façade. First off, it is Friday, and since I don’t have to work this weekend I am dubbing this “Fucking Fantastic Friday”, because a day without poetic vulgarity is like a day without a poetic nut-sac. I really have a desire to go out and drink myself under the table, but alas, all of my buddies here are girls and they make really poor drinking partners when you want to unwind and drink yourself into oblivion. The second beacon of hope came from my colleague, an elderly lady who is very grandmotherly towards me (she bought me an office fan for my birthday, how cool is that?). She nearly won twenty-one million dollars playing the lottery, missing it by one number. The good news is that she won $2,100 because she had so many numbers! It couldn’t have happened to a nicer person, although I am suspicious of her lucky streak. Why just last month she won an iPod that my office raffled off! I think she may be taking LPHD’s (luck performance enhancing drugs for those of you that cannot decipher fake abbreviations) but I don’t have evidence to support that claim. In forty minutes I can make my escape form this heck hole (which is a very mediocre hell hole that pays me a fairly decent wage) and drive to my almost humble abode. Viva La Resistance! Comments (5) | Permalink Pages (21): [ First ][ Previous ] 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 [ Next ] [ Last ]

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